Lost Boy

To anyone who knew Sirius well, they knew that he did care about his blood relatives...at least some of them. He just didn't like to talk about them. Meda being the only exception that. But he never spoke about his parents, his other two cousins and he certainly never spoke about his brother. Despite that though, there hadn't been a day that had gone by since he left that Regulus wasn't in his head. Sirius knew exactly what he had left his younger brother with. He had tried to contact him, though not recently, and assumed that the notion wasn't mutual, because he never heard back. He knew roughly where Regulus was, and that he too had left Grimmauld place, thanks to Andromeda. That was another area Sirius had alot of guilt... Andromeda was probably the best part of their family, she didn't deserve to be constantly in the middle of what Sirius had created. Sirius had gone back and forth about going back to the area he knew Regulus stayed in, he'd been before.... He'd caught sight of his brother and then left. He'd been in his amagius form that day, though he wasn't this time. Muggle London was so odd to Sirius, it felt so different and alot busier, it was more difficult to get a good sense of smell on anyone, even in his padfoot form. He crossed a really busy road, and paused, sensing that someone was watching him. As Sirius looked ahead, his eyes met with his brothers. It had been years since he had locked eyes with Regulus, he wasn't even sure what he was feeling in that moment.

Sirius didn't always like going into the leaky cauldron, in no small part because it was where his boss liked to drink. But there were a couple of exceptions to that rule, James, Remus and Marlene. He had seen Marls at work, but they hadn't really gotten the chance to speak, not with how hard the ministry was working them.

It was never lost on Sirius that he was lucky to have Meda. Although he bad mouthed them alot, family still meant alot to him. If he could just walk into Regulus's life again he would. If he could talk to his other two cousins he would. He probably wouldn't however look at his mother and father again if he didn't have to. But the only blood connection he had was Meda, over the years their connection felt closer to brother and sister than cousins.

Sirius had meant to check in on Lily for a week or so, he'd just been getting absolutely hammered at work. Moody seemed to be even more aggresive than usual, which meant that Sirius's previous behaviour wasn't really accepted anymore, such as showing up late and leaving early. It was tiring actually holding down a job. But he now had a honest to god day off, and he hadn't spent much time with any of his friends. Spotting the red head, a smile across his face and Sirius tapped her on the shoulder. "And where have you been?"

Influences 

To be honest, I could probably talk about Sirius all day, he’s definitely my favourite character in both the books and films. Along with Dirk and Barty, he’s also one of my favourites to write.   

Obviously, none of us write an exact copy from the books, but I try my best to keep his fundamental views the same.  He’s really just out here trying his best.  Theres been three fictional characters who have really influenced my Sirius, and helped with muse.  (Luke was actually a close second choice for a fc after Matt.)   

Daryl Dixon is another fave of mine, he’s actually a very complex character, and often zigs when you think he’s going to zag. He’s got a tough exterior, which the show heavily suggests is to do with his background and the way he was raised. If you have never watched the Walking dead, the only person we as viewers meet from Daryl’s life before the outbreak is his brother, who pretty much out right says that their father beat them both.  I think that his experiences actually made him a better person, rather than a worse person.  He’s really a bit of a softie deep down, but could absolutely kill you. 

Like I said, Luke was nearly my choice for a fc, the main reason I ultimately went with Matt was because, I have never watched anything Matt’s in, except for one film.  Still never seen Shadowhunters Whereas, I watched and rewatched Skins several time, especially the second generation. I think Freddie is lost in life, he knows where he wants to be, but he doesn’t know how to get there. His friends are his world.

Okay so.... in terms of Lip, I actually mean the British/Original version of Shameless However, there is basically no gifs of the og Lip.  To me, Lip, along with Ian are the black sheep of the gallaghers. They have the most ambition, but they’re constantly dragged down, especially by Frank.  Again, I’m mostly talking about the UK version, which is a vastly different show.  Theres more of a community feel to the US series, but in the UK one, it’s actually pretty depressing in the middle seasons and Lip ends up leaving because he can’t cope with his family anymore.   Need I say more?

***** In terms of why did I choose Sirius?   Basically because I always wanted to write him, from the canon characters he and Ted are the two I relate to most. Sirius just deserved so much more than he got, which is also why our rp is AU, he definitely isn’t the only one who got a shitty deal. 

“I don’t think I’m overreacting either.” She knew she wasn’t. The attack was, and should have been, plenty to be worried about the safety of the students. It’s not like these masked people would just go away when school started. “I did hear.” Anyone in the wizarding world who even half paid attention heard about Regulus. Though she wasn’t entirely sure the truth of any of it. But it was clear from his expression, it was not something Sirius wanted to talk about. Though she couldn’t let the moment just pass. She put her hand on his arm, squeezing gently. While she did have a thousand questions, this was clearly not the time. That point was made obvious with the quick subject change. “He’s the one. It’s been…rather nice, honestly. His mother is kind. And Barty…” She trailed off, tucking her papers back under her arm. “He’s a lot better than I thought someone my father picked out would be. He took me home from St. Mungo’s the night of the attack. Spent the night next to my bed and everything.” She shrugged one shoulder. “He at least doesn’t actively hate me or close to one hundred years old. That’s already better than what I had been expecting.” 

Sirius appreciated Georgie not asking anything further about Reg, he would more than likely talk to her about it, just not right now.  He gave her a quick smile as she squeezed his arm which echoed how he felt.  

Sirius didn’t actually know all that much about Barty Jr, just that he seemed pretty up himself, got his job probably because of nepotism, and was generally considered pretty unlikeable, at least in the circles Sirius was in.  He listened to Georgie speak, and a cheeky smile cracked at his mouth, “Don’t tell me you like him..”  Sirius chuckled softly, which was actually quite nice, he hadn’t done that in some time. “There are probably worse, like that slimey fucker, Malfoy or Mcnair...” Sirius dramatically shuddered in disproval at the two names which fell from his lips.   “Wait.... he stayed by your bed?”  Sirius tilted his head, the smile fading slightly.  He had always had a soft spot for Georgie, along with the very different, Molly the pair of them were like sisters he never asked for. And he’d take on anyone who even so much as slighted either of them.   “Sorta goes against pretty much everything I’ve heard about the guy.”

It was strange to be around Sirius now. He knew her when she was much more free willed, much more rebellious. That was the nature of growing up together. But as soon as he was cast out of the family, she was forced to choose sides. It wasn’t ideal, but at the end of the day, she was still a Black and she would have to deal with the aftermath of any sort of talking back that she did on his behalf. No, it was the safe bet to conform to her family’s expectations.

“I guess it depends on what you order. Chamomile is supposed to be good for sleeping, but a little bit of Dreamless Sleep potion mixed in might do the trick. I don’t know where you can get that aside from swiping it from St. Mungo’s or in Knockturn Alley,” she suggested as she ran her perfectly manicured nail around the side of her teacup plate.

Sirius always found that being around his family was odd.  Odd because, in the case of his cousins and his brother he could still feel something close to a connection. Maybe it wasn’t shared, but to him he still felt something twist in his gut when he was around any of them. Something close to guilt or loss.  It was never them he wanted to leave behind.  

“I try not to use that anymore, I practically relied on it when I was at Hogwarts...turned into abit of an issue for a while...”  He replaced it with alcohol, which he was only kicking now.  “..Some tea might just do it.”  He struggled to find his cousins gaze, but when he did, his head tilted slightly. “How are you away?”