SYDNEY SWEENEY

RØRY // restoration rp meme. edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

if pain could talk, what would it say.

why aren't you listening to me?

i got a story.

the tremor in your bones? that's me.

won't be very good if you ignore me.

i tried whispering, but you ain't fucking listening.

you didn't give me a choice.

you should've heard me out.

i'm screaming, but for some reason you still don't believe it.

you can't drink me or drug me or fuck me away.

i ain't ever fucking leaving.

i'm here to stay.

i'm not going anywhere.

i'm not going anywhere until you look me in the face.

when you find someone to love, i won't let you trust it.

build a life you love: watch me destruct it.

together forever baby, that's you and i.

sorry, i just had to get your attention.

if you'll have me, i'll be your greatest protection.

this is the start of your story.

in the bible.

you didn't see me coming, did you?

i hit rock bottom.

my demons, can't stop 'em alone.

i learned my lessons.

turned my curse to my blessings.

i ain't lived a righteous life.

just an addict on their knees with their face towards the light.

everything you lost will be restored.

everything you lost is still yours.

when the light is gone & you're barely holding on, everything you lost will be restored.

i was drinking everyday to numb the depression.

i don't need to be told that i could live forever, i just needed a little bit of hope.

i just needed a little bit of hope.

i don't need to be told that i could live forever.

i just needed a little bit of hope, you know, that maybe things could get better one day.

things could get better one day.

i know that hell's real, i lived there for twenty years.

i know that heaven's real too, it's right here.

i know that hell's real, i lived there for twenty years; i know that heaven's real too, it's right here.

not broken, not hopeless.

you're meant for something more.

you will be restored.

WOLVES.

you told me i would forget you.

if you could see my now...

there's a bullet in my chest in the space you left.

hope you don't hold it against me.

hope you don't hold it against me, these things that i've done.

time is coming, can't outrun it.

all the things i never said, the things that i can't forget.

gonna bring you back to life.

take my soul, take my bones.

i hope you know i'd throw myself to the wolves.

i'd fight god if i could.

i'd get high, wreck my life, for a second of your time.

i hope you know i'd throw myself to the wolves to bring you home.

i'm in an ocean of anger & that's how i'll drown.

missing you is the anchor that's dragging me down.

now i'm screaming, begging jesus in my head, take me instead.

hold on.

i'll use you as a warning sign.

i miss you more than i thought i would.

not got the strength to hold on.

all i got is this wasted potential.

i'm sorry, i'm leaving.

you don't know me, but i swear i know you.

all of the things that you've been through, well i've been through them too.

i know every battle that you fought and lost in your head.

i've seen you become someone else.

you got a future with things that you do.

you gotta promise me you'll never give up.

you ain't fighting for you, you're fighting for us.

i broke the heart of somebody who was just trying to love me.

she was screaming, i was leaving, so detached from my feelings.

i've been lied to by everyone, but i can't be by you.

there's a family pattern, a reason it happened.

you were only a kid when they did what they did.

you weren't protected.

it made you feel like you don't matter.

it made you feel like you don't matter, but it ain't true.

re-enacting patterns of attachment, ain't your fault that it happened.

ain't your fault that it happened.

you gotta promise me you'll hold on.

BLOSSOM.

you buried me alive, you left me there to die.

you buried me alive, you left me there to die, now you're gonna watch me breaking through the dirt.

a death becomes a birth.

you're gonna watch me blossom.

there are dark places here.

do not be afraid, for salvation is near.

you took everyone i ever loved.

you took everything i needed.

it was you that had me by the throat, i was barely breathing.

you thought that i was gonna choke.

i'm still here.

i'm six feet down and screaming.

i will feed, i will wait.

bury me & i'll bloom.

i'll tower over your lives.

bury me & watch me bloom.

sherlock holmes.

is it trauma, did childhood play a part?

is this just who you are?

maybe i'd find the answers.

i've been through the evidence, but i can't make sense of this.

i can't make sense of this.

i need to know how you don't miss me.

i'm sherlock holmes & you're the greatest fucking mystery.

you were threatening violence when i heard from you.

this deafening silence is my only clue.

you will see me fighting but you won't call it brave.

you'll call me the problem child so you can walk away.

i know you were broken & that's why you broke me.

we repeat the patterns that we're just too blind to see.

i won't have kids, won't pass it on.

this rage won't live after i'm gone.

i'll fight myself at every turn, i'll build a stake let myself burn.

one drink away.

i'm happy & sober.

but what if i told you i'm only one drink away from 2am mistakes.

thank god i changed.

i got somebody waiting on me.

i got somebody waiting on me & i haven't ruined it yet.

i've been going to meetings, i've been keeping it clean.

i've been waking up scared i got high, but it was only a dream.

i thought it was over.

people change.

i walk with my head held high now & i call that grace.

who knew a wreck like me could be saved?

MORALITY $UICIDE.

i think that maybe there's a problem on this planet.

when did war become our universal language?

there's profit in disaster.

you took your faith & you burned it alive.

who cares who lives when you've already died?

they're up in arms when someone's son becomes their daughter.

i'm tired of this torture.

i'm tired of the lies.

this ain't democracy.

this ain't democracy, this is hypocrisy, this is atrocity.

SORRY I'M LATE.

let me tell you a story.

they tell you it's over, they write you off as if you're nothing.

you know you're something.

i know it's hard not to feel bitter.

i know it's hard not to feel bitter that it took you longer.

but all of the shit you've been through only made you stronger.

it made you stronger.

sorry i'm late.

sorry i'm late, i fucked my life.

been busy trying to stay alive.

sorry i'm late, just fucked some guy.

did i let my whole life pass me by, or am i right on fucking time?

am i right on fucking time?

i'll make you a promise.

when you think it's over & you think you lost it, it's still right here if you want it.

are you ready?

are you ready to stop waiting for someone to change it?

are you ready to stop waiting for someone to change it, to come back for your life & be the one that saves it: you're the one that saves it.

you're the one that saves it.

the atheist.

you turned an atheist into a prayer.

you turned a patriot into a traitor.

you turned the person that love you the most into a goodbye on a handwritten note.

i can't wait for you.

this is me letting you go.

this is me letting you go, rip you out of my bones.

leaving you out in the cold with everything that you broke.

you turned a family home into a crater.

you turned your own flesh & blood to a stranger.

the words that i wish you spoke turn into glass in the back of my throat.

i can't pray for you.

this is me letting you go, tear you out of my soul.

i woke up with this voice inside my head & it said 'everything you lost will be restored'.

was it a delusion?

i clung onto it as if it was truth, like some kind of life raft.

things started changing.

so much joy came back into my life.

i don't know whether it was some kind of prophecy, or some kind of delusion that became truth simply because i believed it.