kéls

now, sophia’s not one to make statements that were false, at least not if she could help it. but the way you kept cooing and tossing anna into the air, pretending to drop her. instead gracefully swinging her kid around both made her want to smack you upside the head and messily kiss you.

she couldn’t decide.

her mind was going crazy. crazy for a piece of you. maybe it was all the damning feelings coming back like an open waterfall or maybe you were so damn hot that sophia had to contain her desires.

it wasn’t like she was advertising wanting another kid. no. seriously, anna was more than enough for now.

but the way you keep flashing that million dollar smile and would make anna chase sophia. it clenched her heart too hard, and maybe even somewhere else.

and you were considerate above everything. the last couple years have been hard on both of you, eating at the love that once blossomed so unabashed, you were hers and she was yours. truly and indefinitely, until she made her biggest life regret, disappearing from your life.

a part of her still feels the guilt gnawing at her bones. trying to solidify in her soul that she’s an unworthy partner. the hurt, the turmoil, the unnecessary torment. all of it had hit sophia like a truck, nothing truly mattered more to her when the nights got cold and her heated mansion couldn’t contain the chilly feeling of loneliness.

it was painful, returning to a world where she promised herself she was going to become something, only to be squashed by none other than the evilness that permeated the industry. lara had warned her, signing to big name agency had all the glamour and networks to get you where you wanted. but you had to pay the hefty price of losing yourself in the process.

sophia doesn’t know how she can even regain that feeling of being invincible again. crushed like a roach under thomas’ snobby rich trust fund kid lifestyle.

but a little piece of her was hopeful, she kept the waves of hopelessness and misery at bay for her only daughter, born out of pure love and the desire to preserve something true to her real self.

her love for you.

and truthfully, that was all she needed, but God and his works had a way of redefining sophia and your future. and bless lara’s soul, she always stood ten toes behind sophia, they understood each other fundamentally.

lara admired the softness that was the undertone of sophia’s character. behind the sharp and obsessive want to become a well known actress was a girl who begged to play in local theatres and sing her heart to anyone who would hear. they were born from the same cloth, but held different personalities.

even when sophia let it all out one night, in her drunken stupor, bottle in hand and waterproof mascara barely holding her face together. sophia had spilled everything, how she left you behind. it was the one piece of sophia that lara could never place.

often begging sophia to tag along for double dates or nights out at the club. sophia never let anyone close enough, even with the charismatic smiles of men and women. or the more confident athletes who vied for her attention, it didn’t seem to make her eyes divert at all.

lara couldn’t tell if she was hung up on somebody or truly had let go of dating. and when questioned, her answers were elusive and dismissive at best. of course in her all too charming way too.

but one night, a particular night after several weeks of sophia’s disappearance. lara had asked the right question, and it made everything flow out of sophia.

like a confessional booth, lara sat there like a holy priest. watching and listening to sophia sob through the pain of being torn away from you.

it had offered an insight into sophia’s previous life, and despite everything, lara stuck by her side. she knew what sophia had gone through were the horror stories that people heard about online.

the pursuit of becoming a star with puppet strings bound to your hands and mouth. every word and action, monitored and controlled by another person.

with the conviction of being a fiercely loyal best friend, lara had set in stone a plan to set her best friend free.

the three phase takedown that was thomas moore’s entire career and life.

phase I:

blind item #2

This big shot director’s son is pulling daddy’s name and connection with a A+ list actress to coerce her into a divorce from her hidden spouse. and the reason? said son is securing his fortune by marrying this actress and hiding that he never went to rehab. A+ list actress has since disappeared from the starlight to settle her messy divorce, rumors of a hidden child?

it clearly wasn’t the best gossip piece sophia’s heard of herself. but it was tacky enough to garner the attention of hundreds of people online to talk.

the “anonymous” send in was led by lara pr manager and sophia’s manager. both using this as a tester for how the public would react, and it seems most were empathetic towards the mysterious actress.

and then lara started leaking photos to different gossip columns, different photos for each team. it was efficient this way, no one point to trace to, and lara was smart.

she had already utilized her PR team to deal with needy gossip columns. each leaving up to 50 voicemails asking who this mystery pairing was.

lara didn’t care if it eventually all lead back to her, as long as the effect wasn’t in vain. and as the weeks came, lara became more confident in her actions. then she started leaking some information, summarizing thomas’ hidden reality and his manipulative ways.

it almost blew up in lara and sophia’s face. thomas immediately got antsy when a tmz segment came out, dropping possible names that fit the description and he was brought up.

the tmz crew were tossing random names out, pictures were floating around the internet. and slid into the hands of tmz. lara knew he would go under soon.

and so he did, he watched the segment in horror. the second he heard his name spoken in the clip he vibrated like a chihuahua in fear. fear and anger consumed him, throwing the tablet and smashing the screen.

immediately dialing sophia’s number.

“the fuck did you do?” his voice was heavy, like a gong that hit against your ears.

“hello thomas, to what do i owe the pleasure?” sophia was sitting at brunch with lara. both girls went quiet when they saw the name flash on sophia’s phone. a reminder that he was still very present and aware of their every move.

“pleasure? there’s no pleasure in what you’re trying to do here. the blind item. you did this.” he continued to let out his venomous tone, dripping with malice and disgust. “you’re leaking everything aren’t you? you whore. of course you would, trying to ruin someone like me. i have the wo-”

“thomas, please, save the self entitled speech for someone else. you sure it wasn’t one of your supermodel bimbos?” sophia scoffed, and lara rapidly started jotting down comments on a napkin.

deflect and distract. stab at his ego. lara pointed with her pen, and sophia nodded. continuing to listen to his tyrannical venting.

“and i know its you, only you would want to ruin my hard work. it’s so clear that you’re jea-”

“you’re so full of yourself, i have no clue what you’re talking about.” sophia played her best nonchalant neutral tone as possible, pulling the acting skills to mask the anxiousness.

lara continued to nod, repeatedly pointing at the text on the napkin. underlining deflect several times.

“sophia, no one knows about me not going to rehab.” he bit out. “you’re the only one that knows, so of course you leaked it. i’m going to sue you for defam-”

“i’m going to stop you right there. you even try to sue me for defamation over something that didn’t happen, and i’ll drag you five rounds of litigation like you fought rocky.” sophia bit back, she wasn’t the best at listening to commands and she sure as hell wasn’t going to be intimidated by this fool of a man. “and you will lose.”

“you fucking bitch, after everything i did for you. you want to sue me?” the shock in his voice was evident, the anger and frustration still amped up.

“yeah, try me, i dare you. one misstep and it all comes crashing down. don’t ever call me again.”

“is that a threat?” he narrowly throws out.

“not a threat, a warning.” and with that sophia hits the red button. to say she was anxious was an understatement. she hadn’t expected him to catch up until much later. but of course his lega-no, his dad’s legal team were the top of the line. letting thomas moore jr. fail meant a disgrace on thomas moore sr.’s work and effort.

and shit, sophia did not want to deal with thomas moore sr.

“lara i feel like i’m going to puke.” sophia leaned back in her chair, trying to calm her nerves. taking a sip of her water to stabilize herself. the last thing she needed was to be seen having a meltdown in the middle of a restaurant.

“hey, come on, breathe and relax. it’s all going to be okay sophie.” lara puts her hand over sophia, calming her down in the process.

there was still this terror within sophia, one that she knew came from the constant monitoring from thomas, the fear that he could take everything away from her.

he could take you, anna, her acting. all of it could be stripped from her if she misstep or said something too bold. and even with the weariness of what he’ll do next, sophia had begged to God, prayed that whatever happened next would bring her happiness.

the rest of the meal went smoothly, lara spoke lightly of the legal team she was pulling together in the slim chance thomas went crazy and did decide to drag sophia down with him.

sophia tried stomaching the rest of her meal, a slight weight lifting off her crushed soul.

--

“hi anna, want to see something?” you had toyed with a play horse in front of anna. her grabby hands reaching for it and snatching it from you. clearly more interested in it than you.

anna made a noise of content when she began smashing the horses against each other. clearly delighted in the destruction of the horses.

you grabbed one too, slamming it into another horse, watching anna squeal out of pure happiness. a little worried that you were teaching her that violence was okay.

so instead you patiently placed the horses together, pretending they were clopping together in tandem. anna flickers her eyes between the horses and you, curiosity burning.

she had your gaze, it almost felt like looking at a mirror. and sometimes it scared you how real this all was. you had a daughter, with the same woman that stole your heart all those years ago.

and anna was everything, she was bright and funny in her toddler way. constantly trying to explore the world around her. especially the kitchen, trying her hardest to steal snacks when she could.

so here you were, sat in sophia’s large mansion, filled with decor that costed more than your entire life savings. taking care of a daughter that you wanted desperately to know and live with. and sophia let you, so you pushed.

maybe it was always easier to sleep knowing sophia was close. you didn’t have as many nightmares that woke you up from anxiety. the calmness that continued to stay as long as you stayed slept near her.

moving out of the presidential suite was easy, you had little luggage, it was more of the reality that you would be moving into sophia’s place.

temporarily of course.

both of you didn’t say it openly, but the way she kept lingering when the night talks got long, the way she continued to cook for you even if you offered.

how laundry got mixed together, and she naturally bought you a toothbrush and moved her bathroom products to one side of the counters.

she never let you stay too far either, with a big mansion you could have any bedroom, even one far away from hers but she didn’t let you. she claimed that checking on anna in the middle of the night would be easier if you were nearby. how she felt safer if you were closer.

it was a slight twist of the truth, she wanted you closer than just a bedroom away. she wanted you next to her, safely tucked under her arms. away from the evil crutches that wanted to destroy what you two “had”.

but you didn’t cross that boundary, it was better this way, close enough to know that deep down you two were still very much in love. but the safety of still having a way out if she were to completely destroy you once more.

it was a love that was resurfacing. both of you offering a way in but not swinging the door wide open.

anna continued to play throughout the afternoon, dragging you upstairs where she had her favorite books and stuffed toys. it was cute, your daughter was so cute. excitement at introducing you to all her plushies. and in the corner of her bedside table was a photo.

it was you, sophia and anna huddled together, way early on when you first learned about anna. you were busy smiling and looking at anna with adoration blooming that you didn’t even notice sophia staring fondly at you two. only anna with her wide smile facing the camera.

sophia must have set it up, a reminder that this was anna’s family. that you were sophia’s other mother.

night quickly fell, and anna had fallen asleep mid reading a book. well, more like pointing and laughing at the pictures and flipping through them repeatedly.

and with a yawn you left the room, leaving her night light on and the door slightly ajar. you spent the rest of the time waiting for sophia to get home. apparently talks had gone long in sophia’s team about how to deal with thomas.

you abhorred the man, how cruel he was to tear sophia away from you. how he used his power for evil and manipulation. it wasn’t just the conversation the morning after. it was the long nights filled with white wine and spilled feelings and fears that drove your hatred like a nail in the coffin.

the man dripped with malice. his heart turned black with a mind that churned ideas that he deserved greatness. he deserved the bows at his feet. he deserved to be revered as more than thomas moore sr’s son. and worse he believed he was never in the wrong.

each action or inaction against sophia made him revel in his power, that it was his birthright to subject people to his whims and desires. and he basked in the results, seeing sophia heartbroken and still under his clutches made him laugh with glee.

and the lack of support that sophia had, it made you so powerless. you weren’t her proud wife who didn’t take shit from everyone. you weren’t the brazen cowgirl from new mexico that had a quicker shot than anyone down south. the brash woman that would’ve taken care of thomas moore with so much as a whisper had he said something unpleasant to your wife.

you felt the shame build, from the lack of presence as a parent to anna, to the woe is me mindset that made you blind to sophia’s looming puppet master. everything grew to be too much, you internalized the feelings, not sure where to direct them but sophia still sat with you. explained each feeling of distress with calm energy and a soft hand resting atop of your shaky ones.

she wasn’t going to let you take the blame for the wrongdoings of a man that overstepped his power.

weeks gone by and you convinced yourself that it wasn’t your doing. that you didn’t shove her further into the arms of a man that had nothing but pure evil in his soul.

a sudden voice pulled you from your thoughts, sophia with tired but warm eyes coming into your view.

“hi, i’m home.” she walked in, plopping her bag on top of the kitchen counter. you hadn’t expected her, still stirring your pot of soup. adjusting the taste with a slight pinch of salt.

she smiled at how cute you looked in her pink strawberry apron. a slight mess on the counters but she could tell you were trying. smudges of random sauce on your cheeks.

she crosses the kitchen, grabbing a small towel, dabbing off the sauce and watching your goofy smile glow. you always had a penchant for sophia doing small favors for you.

“hi fia, long day?” you let her arms drop to her sides. her eyes aren’t as sharp, but she still watches you with admiration.

“yeah, legal team’s been building up a case, it’s like they’re ready for war.” sophia continues to watch you, an old habit she had when days were long on the ranch and all she wanted was your comfort.

“i’m glad they are. that piece of shit should die. now go sit, i cooked dinner for us.” you ushered her away, watching her drop into a chair, exhaustion deep set in her mind. she needed a drink and probably deep sleep at this point.

“how was anna today? give you any problems?” sophia absentmindedly start clearing the table, shuffling some mail over.

you grabbed a bowl of soup for sophia, setting it down in front of her. immediately releasing the tension from her shoulders, clearly held together with frustration and exasperation for hours on end.

“she was amazing, kept wanting to learn about horses and made me sit when she read her books.” you offered a recount of the day, the long hours spent between playing and cooking for your daughter.

sophia laughed and inquired with each particularly funny moment. it felt…domestic. perhaps a flash of a possible life that was meant to be.

you two continued to talk through dinner, spanning from discussions of you selling your ranch, and buying a ranch not too far from sophia’s place.

at most an hour drive out the city, and it reminded her how real this was all becoming.

you had made quick plans to transfer over your ranch and possessions over. it took up much of your time, traveling between the two states and a fatigue that sank into your body, but your heart had never been so open before. a frequent reminder that sophia wasn’t divorcing you out of hatred. she still deeply loved you, cared like she held herself to the vows she made to you, under God.

you vowed to try too, giving small bits of your heart again, in small gestures of light compliments. it was treading the line of affection without placing your heart on an open target.

and sophia didn’t push, she didn’t ask when conversations got hard and you shut down.

when sophia reached for you, searching for reassurance of a love that once was, you offered it the best way you could. the best way someone could offer love with a mangled past and an even more complicated factor of being parents.

cooking dinner, setting aside time for anna: all of it was a physical reminder that you cared. you wanted to work out the mess of a relationship that was yours and sophia’s.

but truly it was your and sophia’s relationship. not yours, sophia and thomas. not your, sophia and the public’s relationship. you and her with the addition of anna, your beloved daughter.

that night sophia gave you a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into her bedroom, a slight flush of the cheeks when she could tell it caught you off guard.

both of you haven’t set the record straight about your relationship. but you could tell in due time, it would all work out.

--

phase II:

it was quick and it was sudden, especially intentional to give no time for him to prepare. lara’s avenger level legal team had pulled together records, text messages, recordings, photo evidence, copies of contracts. anything and everything that was even remotely incriminating.

they threw it all on the table. and as thomas moore was lounging in his malibu mansion, a glass of wine in hand, he walked to the end of his driveway.

a sleek black suburban parked right outside his gated home. he opened the gate, excited to get his brand new car. when he realized suddenly, this wasn’t that. in fact it was the second spell of disaster for him.

“sir, are you thomas moore?” the man had a thick accent, standing roughly at 6’4 and a simple black and white suit, sunglasses pressed up against his nose bridge.

“i am, how can i help you?” the last time thomas got visited by a burly tall man, he had nearly signed away his house to get out of gambling debt, not before shoving a couple cases of cash he had withdrawn from his daddy’s bank account.

“you’ve been served.” and then he shoved a manila folder into his hand.

a sudden outrage piercing through his head.

“you’re fucking joking.” thomas ripped apart the folder, the burly man already walking away from him. driving away from the house quickly.

and with a quick read of the front paper, he immediately dialed sophia’s number.

the number you are trying to reach is unavailable.

throwing his glass against the ground, the shards all shattered on the asphalt. he couldn’t contain his anger, letting it boil over and explode out.

meanwhile, sophia was in her head, all of the moments leading up to today was grueling and tiresome. she had barely anytime to herself between magazine shoots and interviews.

and with the growing demands of the public, she felt like she was spread thin. pulled tight like a rubberband, ready to snap at one more pull. but in an instant she relaxed.

it was a small gesture. something small that had caused the collapse of all the tension held tightly in between sophia’s shoulders.

you strolled into her office, cool and a light smile on your face. and sophia relaxed instantly at the sight, you held a bag in your hand, calmly grabbing an extra chair and sitting next to her.

“hope you don’t mind me joining you.” you flashed her a warm grin as you began opening the bag. placing sandwiches onto her office table and water as well. sophia smiled at the gesture, she hadn’t eaten all day. forgotten breakfast as she rushed out the door to get more paperwork filled out.

“is this supposed to be a date?” sophia chuckled lightly, watching you unwrap her sandwich and place a small napkin by her side. and then opening your own sandwich.

“could be, would you like this to be a date?” you couldn’t help but lean in close, trying to taunt her with your eyebrows, raised and wiggling in front of her. she burst into laughter, pointing at you like the laughing stock before settling for eating her sandwich instead.

you pout a bit, wanting to hear her say yes, but instead she continues to eat her sandwich.

“fia,” you whine a bit, scooting closer to her. it’s comical how desperate you are for an answer, nudging and sliding your leg next to hers. “is this a date?”

sophia just nods, still chewing on her sandwich, watching you relax into your chair. letting out a dramatic sigh of relief before giggling out loud.

“you’re going to have to do more than sandwiches and water for this to be a serious date though.” sophia cocks one eyebrow as she watches you unveil something else from the bag.

“i knew you would say that so i prepared this for us.” and you pulled out a booklet, it was a surprise gift you were planning on giving to sophia before she left.

but now, given everything that’s transpired. you feel renewed to show her something that was crafted from you, a gift from you to her.

it was a collage book of your photos. spanning from early day photos of you two when you weren’t dating yet. hidden glances at each other and an itch to get closer together. to photos of you two at bonfires together, sophia wearing your flannel and your bracelet with her initials tied around your wrist. to the day you two got married, gorgeous smiles and warm love exuding from the photos.

at some point, sophia grabbed your hand, stopping you from explaining the next one. holding onto it as she tried not to cry, you instead turned to wipe off the tears. giving her hand a careful squeeze, and dipping down for a kiss and she continued to cry into the kiss.

she eventually wrapped her arms around your shoulders. hugging you tightly as lunch was forgotten. and as time continued, you offered her light kisses as she played with your wedding band. dipping down to kiss it gently.

--

phase III:

eventually it came out that thomas had been blackmailing sophia for his personal gain. the paparazzi swarmed his and her house like flies. each reporter trying to capture even a glimpse of the two people. and you swore you never felt as protective of sophia before.

hiding her and anna at your house while news headlines spread like wildfire. lara did her best to direct the attention to thomas, denying commenting on the scandal of the year.

and then the court hearings started. sophia was stuck in courtrooms for hours, and when things got hard you held her like she was all that mattered. offering her comfort and a listening ear when she wanted to vent.

then you got subpoenaed to the stand. thomas involvement in your and sophia’s “divorce” came to light in court. you did your best to give the best account that you could. how he showed up to your ranch, tracking sophia down and forcing her to leave with him.

the defendant tried, they really did. trying to paint your relationship as one that was already dying, that his involvement was nothing more than a mere coincidence. you nearly wanted to shout at the defense, what they were insinuating was disgusting and cruel.

the defense didn’t get the riled up and unstable account that they were hoping for. instead you stood firmly behind your words, speaking them for what they were. letting reality do its talking and reminding everyone who the true villain was.

and sophia tried not to cry in your arms when you both went home. this case was clearly affecting her more than she’d like to admit. she only hoped the jury saw the truth to her misery.

but at the end of the night, when both of you were spent from the long day at court, you held her closely, soft kisses to her forehead as she slept deeply in your arms. a reminder of how you once were who she ran to when things got hard.

and within the span of weeks, the world had lifted its weight from sophia’s shoulder. the jury had decided and the decision went in sophia’s favor. the courtroom erupted in claps as thomas’ head hung low.

sophia could be free from him and his clutches, no longer was she almost close to losing you and her acting career. and to top it all off thomas would never be able to step even near her ever again.

sophia swear she could see the world looking prettier by the end of it. waltzing out of the courtroom with her head held high and paparazzi swarming the steps outside. what people didn’t expect to see was you.

hand held firmly with sophia’s, strongly pulling her towards the car, away from the shouting crowd and bright flashes. hat tipped down and an arm blocking out from anyone was too close.

“fia, stick close to me.” you pulled her in closer, arm wrapped around hers in an attempt to protect her from the swarming hands. one nearly got to her, another almost knocked their camera in her face. so you quickly crossed the red carpet, bringing her into the big car.

the door quickly closing behind you two as flashes still tried to capture photos of you two behind tinted windows. reality is that sophia was tired. grew tired of not being able to call you hers in public, strangled by thomas’ control, and the worry of the opinions of others. but sophia was over it.

she needed the world to know that you were proudly hers, and she was proudly yours. and in the span of seconds, social media began flying out with posts about you two. everyone questioning who the mysterious cowgirl was. paparazzi was running headlines like crazy, ever the devil’s advocate.

exploring possible hidden truths of who you were and why you were close to sophia. people were swarming the internet, making comparisons of old photos of sophia and the truth started popping up.

instead you held her hand as the car rolled along the road, giving small squeezes of reassurance as sophia’s manager and media time continued to manage the spark of the scandal of the year. it didn’t matter how much sophia was the one on that was hurt throughout the unveiling of the lawsuit. there would always be vultures, excited to tear through every bit of her, from her appearance, to her character, and even what she chose to wear.

so she kept her head clear, choosing instead to keep away from the internet during this difficult time. even when her phone was definitely blowing up from acquaintances and colleagues checking in on her.

exactly 1 hour after leaving the courthouse, sophia had planned her announcement of your relationship with her,

masterfully she instead released one singular post.

two photos.

first was an old photo of you two when you first got married, cheeks wide from the joy of tying the knot.

second was a more recent photo, a photo of you two riding buckeye and honey and anna sitting in front of you. running along the water and hats sat tightly on top.

with a red heart emoji and a ring emoji, added with a caption of “with my forever cowgirl, love you to the end of time”

the post nearly broke the internet, hardcore fans speculating the identity of the mysterious woman that had made her way onto the instagram of this A list actress. comments flooded the post, people were reposting and sharing the post like it was hot potatoes. it was exhilarating and insanely redeeming to be able to freely announce the love of her life to the public.

to not live in fear of losing you, and rebuilding a relationship that stood the test of time and trust you had for each other.

--

the gentle lull of the windchimes continued to ring in the early morning. you were busy rocking anna in your arms, the young toddler had tired herself out playing with charlie all day yesterday. dedicated herself to walk all the perimeters of the ranch with charlie by her side. you laughed when anna came back with her report. a small salute from her before disappearing into the ranch house.

she looked so much like sophia, it warmed your heart. but her eyes were all yours, the familiar wild eyes that always wanted to explore, curiosity that was hard to tame.

she was going to be a tough one, if she had any of your fire or drive.

you continued to rock her, occasionally brushing the hair out of her face, the warm sunrise keeping you company. charlie was busy swishing his tail, yawning every so often.

you eventually got up, tucking her into her bed, placing a gentle kiss across her forehead. she was a heavy sleeper like sophia, had to poke and prod her until she finally would comply with the morning routine. so you let her doze off again, this time hugging her plushie tightly to her chest.

after, you descended down the stairs. pulling your boots and holster on. like clockwork charlie was waiting outside, tongue lolling out as he happily trotted next to you. he knew that anna sleeping meant it was work time.

you gave him a light pat on the side before opening the chicken coop. peering in to check for eggs and anything that looked out of place. the chickens were already clucking loudly near you, one trying to peck at your boots.

you laughed a bit, side-stepping the chicken and checking the troughs for enough feed. taking a hose to fill with water in the many pails that stood in the chicken coop.

charlie was busy chasing one chicken, he loved chasing that one. you had an inkling that he didn’t like the way it would look at him. eventually you walk away, grabbing the pail and setting it on the outside.

then a car honk got your attention. head snapping up and a smile broke out on your face. the familiar sight of the red jeep in front. you walked up to the car, pearly whites shining when you leaned into the car, windows rolled down and a hand reaching out to touch your arm.

“anything i can help you with ma’am?” you asked with amusement in your voice, taking your cowboy hat off, tilting it a bit.

“sure can, can i get my morning kiss?” she smiled as she took off her sunglasses, grabbing you with the front of your shirt, pulling you into a messy kiss.

hm, she missed you?

you smiled against the kiss, capturing her lips in yours. she pulled at your hair a bit, liking the way you kept going for me, like you couldn’t get enough from her.

you pull away, much to her disapproval.

“hi fia, good morning.” you unlock the door, taking her hand as she hopped out the jeep.

“good morning to you too, you look good.” she eyed your shirt, more fitted and tight around your torso, a gift from her from last weekend. she lightly touched the fabric with her manicured fingers, light touches dancing across your body.

“yeah? what do you like about it?” you shake your head, offering an easy smile. you lean into the car, killing the ignition and locking the car. swiftly turning around to her already waiting for you. a warm smile on her face when you opened your hand for her.

“that i bought it.”

she slides her hand into yours, giving it a light squeeze as she walks with a grin on her face.

“well all the more compliments to you then.”

you both walked up to the ranch house, hand in hand with charlie making light yips as he tried climbing on sophia’s legs. begging for pets and then eventually waiting by the ranch door. you push open and let sophia and charlie in.

a slight wait as you watched her, not knowing that she could feel your gaze on her. you close the door behind, trailing after her as she went straight to anna’s room. charlie continued to pad against the floor, deciding now was a good time to chase after his own tail.

you follow sophia into anna’s room. sophia sitting on the bed, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. adjusting the blanket and singing a lullaby to her as she tapped against her hand.

it was everything you wished for, and you were here to see it. you sat down as well, and sophia gave you a warm smile. you leaned closer, resting your head atop of sophia’s shoulders.

“tired?” she let your hands wrap around her in a tight hold. and you gave a silent nod, happy to have her so close, it felt like home.

sophia couldn’t help herself, placing a gentle kiss at your temple and leading you out the room.

“i think she’s growing up too fast.” you mention to sophia quietly, following her downstairs into the living room. she gives you an inquisitive look, urging you to continue.

“why do you say that?” she settles onto the couch, grabbing her bag and shuffling through the flaps, pulling out a manila packet from her bag.

“yesterday she told me she found old tapes of me bull riding when i was younger. told me she wanted to try it out.” you continued to stare into the ceiling, thinking about the passage of time as well as how far life has come.

“i think she looks up to you,” sophia eventually pulls out a stack of paper, setting it on the coffee table. “it’s sweet, she sees you as a superhero.”

“it’s sweet but i want her to grow up like you.”

“like me?” sophia cocked an eyebrow.

“you know, smart and ambitious.” you admit quietly, it was a growing feeling in your chest. how you wanted anna to be someone who would shine. even if it wasn’t acting, you wanted her to have sophia’s grit and perseverance.

“you don’t think you’re smart and ambitious?” sophia realized what this was about. how you always shied away from talking about your hopes and dreams, opting instead to hear her talk about it.

it made you feel small at times, a lack of direction or goal. you didn’t have this overtly grand dream, you just wanted to be with sophia, growing together and living your lives together.

“sometimes, i wish i was more ambitious.” you explain, slightly adjusting yourself on the couch. “like i wish i did more with my life.”

“do what?”

“i wish i stuck with bull riding and went nationally.” you can feel sophia’s gaze as she observes everything. the slight fidget or how your fingers tap against your buckle.

“did you forget that you almost died?” she leaned in, soft fingers that found comfort on the side of your face. a reminder that she almost lost you once, to a bull that bucked too hard at the wrong time.

almost trampling you in the process, broken and bruised ribs, fractures that ran through your ragged body. she was by your bedside every moment she had, helping you recover at the time.

“i’ll never forget that, but i still…i wish i did more.” you give a grunt and nod, sliding down the couch more, feeling the tiredness kicking in. “it was just a silly thought, don’t pay any attention to it.”

you always had a way of exiting the conversation when feelings got too strong. an exit strategy when your feelings ran deeper than you’d like to admit.

wanting to divert your attention, sophia taps your leg,

“hm?”

“i’m thinking of taking a break from acting.” she said it like she set a boulder down, weighted exhaustion released from her shoulders. like she ripped off a curse that had been casted on her.

“what? you can’t, that’s your dream.” you sat up, surprise exploding across your face. even in the end, despite sophia leaving you and your life behind the first time. you would never want her to quit her passion, you know how hard she fought for her place in the industry.

countless nights after your heart broke, maybe it was because you wanted to make sure she was still real, that you hadn’t manifested her existence.

you watched every acting part that she was in, all the movies, all the tv shows and all her interviews during the press tours. she sparkled under the limelight, acting was and still is her passion. it was clear as day, the way she had explained all her thoughts on playing these characters, her undeniable pursuit of greatness. it casted this warm glow on your heart even if she took your heart with her.

it hurt and it hurts even more to know she wants to stop acting.

“right now it’s too much of a commitment, i want to be with you and with anna.” she continues, giving you a small smile even though you heavily disagree. you want to see her shine, want her to continue to mold her talent.

“to make up for lost time.”

“you sure? you know i’ll always support whatever decision you make. but i don’t want you to have to give up acting.” she slid closer, letting her head fall just in the junction between your head and shoulders.

a gentle but somber smile on her face.

“i know you do, it’s what i love about you. but i need to do this, i’ve already done so much damage by prioritizing acting, i want to be here, right now, with you and with her. that’s all i need.” she played with your hand, particularly the wedding band that fit snugly on your finger.

“you can’t get enough of me?” you grin smugly, enjoying her lurch back, eyes rolling and gasping as she leaned away from you.

“as if…” she instead crossed her arms, letting you chuckle to yourself, sliding yourself onto her lap. head looking up to her. enjoying how she’s still unable to look at you. a hint of amusement behind her frown, and you simply let yourself rest on her lap.

her fingers start threading through your hair, a gentle massage against your scalp. a faint smell of her perfume coming close to you, you basked in the softness of her massage and light floral elements in her perfume.

“fia, i’ve been thinking about this for a while. do you want to move in with me?” you had thought about it for a while. with the current arrangement, anna always wanted to sleep over, often staying for extended periods of time on your ranch. and with that came sophia’s constant visits.

anna would be over for weeks at a time and sophia missed her daughter, and you. but that led to sophia staying over too, often falling asleep in your bed together, a reminder of a faint but distant memory of you two together.

you tried to not push her, to force both of you together again. but the familiarity of living together and the added proximity of your daughter, drove you mad. the question was begging to be released, held back by your tongue in hopes that you could quell your deeply rooted desire for her presence.

you knew that you had it bad one afternoon, anna was committed to picking up all the eggs from the coop with sophia. you watched sophia and anna together, charlie lightly licking anna’s face whenever she leaned down, high pitched squeals ringing through the air.

sophia still looked so beautiful, long flowing hair tucked in her cowboy hat, a flowy sundress that paired well with her cowboy boots. you were reminded how the smallest things made your heart beat in your ribcage.

you swear that night you didn’t leave her side once, heart happy to have her so close. you kissed her goodnight that night, an impulse that had you blushing before you fell asleep.

“i would have to sell my house.” she comments, already churning ideas in her head. “and where would i sleep?”

you knew she was toying with you, trying to get a confession out of you. you’re more than happy to provide the confession. an admission that you wanted her where she wanted you.

“with me. in our bed. obviously.” you opened one eye, watching her gaze at you intently. almost like the feelings were overwhelming her.

“hm, i’ll think about it.” she joked, letting you play petty when you turned away from her towards the tv.

sophia continued to thread her fingers through your hair as you fell asleep. a content smile on her face, kissing your forehead every so often.

things would work out, she believed that it would. she had to believe in you and her because that’s all that mattered to her. and you knew that no matter what threw at you two, you two would stand together as a unit together.

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