#between stoplights

Another Saturday, another excuse to go out and be among other undead in a setting that made Cassius feel more at home. Dressed in skinny leather pants, his new platform doc martens (thanks sentient house for stealing his shoes), and a mesh black top with a leather jacket thrown on top. As usual, the vampire had black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and black lipstick on, completing the gothic ensemble they’d been sporting since the scene cropped up in the 80s. 

He wasn’t expecting anything unusual to happen, but then he stepped out of his bedroom to see Zofia stepping out of hers, dressed up as if she were going out as well. “Plans?” He asked as he finished tying his long blond hair up into a messy bun. “You look… good.” Cassius spoke, wincing as he realized how uncomfortable of a situation this may become for the two of them. 

Cassius zipped up his jacket halfway, leaving his thorn tattoo and carnation tattoos visible under the black mesh shirt. “I uh, I’m headed out too. Going to the club.” Of course, Zofia would know that Cassius made Dance Macabre a Saturday ritual, he’d done it every Saturday since he moved to Wicked’s Rest, and hadn’t changed when the two were together. “Like usual.”

It had taken years, but the vampire had perfected the art of putting on lipstick without needing to look in a mirror. Of course the age of smartphones had been a pocket sized blessing. She swiped her thumb along her lower lip, cleaning the line of her red lipstick. 

She hummed absently to herself as she shimmied into her dress - the one she reserved when she was particularly hungry- and slipped into her heels. She was walking out the door, pinning her hair up when she came across Cassius. Zofia’s eyes flickered over them, taking in the details. Some things didn’t change, not ever. It almost drew a smile to her face. 

Instead, she stared at him, unblinking as he spoke. “Going out for a bite.” She said, amused with her own joke. His comment on her appearance surprised her, and her one woman staring contest came to an end. 

She bit back the urge to say ‘I know’. Of course he was going to the club. It was his little Saturday ritual. Just as hers had become lurking on the opposite end of the club, trying to live her life again. And usually that involved going home with someone who was already dead, or leaving some poor lost soul a few pints of blood lighter than they had been. Zofia nodded slowly. “I had similar plans.”

———-

Cassius cleared his throat as he realized they were headed to the same place. What did he do? Did he change his plans and go somewhere else? Did he offer to bring Zofia along with him? She was so changed from how she once was, and he’d grown used to that. Still, it was sometimes jarring to see who was once someone he saw as so sweet and then dive into their vampiric instincts to such a degree. 

Cassius swallowed. “You want a ride?” He finally asked, casting a quizzical gaze in her direction. He thought for a moment, about trying to be a “better” vampire. To give into those urges like the others around him did. To kill as they did. It felt wrong, and he cursed Richard internally. “So you don’t have to walk, I mean.” He added, gaze shifting down to the keys in his hand.

Zofia blinked at him as if the words were lost on her. It took a few moments for them to register. It took another to realize how incredibly awkward the entire situation was. They weren’t together- they hadn’t been in months. And yet she was taking up a residence in his house. And now he was offering her a ride. 

She looked down at her shoes, and then back to the keys in his hand. Walking in her heels would take a while. And as awkward as it would be… “Sure,” Zofia said. “I would appreciate that.”

________

As Cassius stood waiting for Zofia’s response, he was suddenly struck by how he was acting. He was making it awkward. Why was he making it so awkward. Sure, they’d dated. They’d bared their emotions down to each other once upon a time, and then things, well, happened. Sofie was gone. But that didn’t mean that Zofia wasn’t a completely different person. He didn’t want to lose her just because he could let go of what she once was. He wouldn’t lose her again. 

He nodded his head and gave a bright smile in response to her hesitant acceptance, determined to change the tone around. Before she could change her mind, Cassius waved for her to follow him to the garage where his car waited. They drove in silence for a while, but then he spoke up. “So.” He began, looking over at Zofia briefly before letting his eyes turn back to the road. “What have you been up to lately?” He asked, genuinely curious how she’d been in the last few weeks. 

Cassius had been dealing with changing classes to English as well as spending extra time with Lukas, but he wasn’t sure if Zofia was letting herself live past simply existing. “Have you been alright?” He didn’t want to push too hard and scare her away, but he was worried. He worried about her being caught again, worried that she wouldn’t let herself out of her shell after the hunters had taken her. 

_

She certainly hadn’t been expecting a smile in response. If anything she’d been expecting a grimace. Zofia started to offer to walk instead, but Cassius was already off, walking toward the garage with keys in hand. She let out a sigh and walked behind him. 

The car was quiet, aside from the thoughts that rattled around in her skull. Was this about to turn into a lecture someone would give a petulant teen? Something about being worried about her or needing to not bite people… Zofia didn’t know if she had it in her to be lectured about morality by someone a century her junior. She kept her mouth shut so fangs wouldn’t be bared and barbed words wouldn’t cut when they had no cause to. 

She raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. “Not terribly much.” Zofia shrugged. “I sell things. I go out. Rinse, repeat.” She didn’t bother to mention the fact that months had passed and she still looked over her shoulder, still didn’t trust most people. Still heard whispers, saw shadows. It was easier to leave all that unsaid. 

She shrugged again, her shoulders never quite settling back. “I’ve been fine. It’s been quiet.” Quiet was something she used to revel in, to crave. Now it put her on edge. Which was why she was headed out again, for noise and light and people. “I needed to get out more. Hence,” Zofia trailed off, gesturing to her outfit. “How about you?” Anything was better than talking about herself. 

——

As he kept his eyes on the road, Cassius listened to what Zofia had to say. He wasn’t so sure what Zofia’s relationship with quiet was anymore. Seeing how antsy she got in the house sometimes, he worried about her. He worried about those around her that had a pulse. He looked over to Zofia out of the corner of his eye, then let his gaze fall back on the road again. A stormy look clouded over his expression before it disappeared as quickly as it had come about.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve decided to get out more.” Cassius answered with an earnest expression cast in her direction as he stopped at a stoplight. “I’ve been…” he paused. How had he been? “Busy.” He finally settled on, staring down at the hand he had placed on the top of the wheel. “Between Richard going through his own fucking identity crisis and getting strange texts from Lukas’s own sire, it’s been busy.” He frowned, realizing that he hadn’t really talked about his own troubles with anyone other than Inge. 

“I know you know his sire.” He finally said, he’d overheard her talking to him at the Christmas party. Called him cousin. “I don’t want to know. I want it to come from him.” He quickly added before starting to drive again when the light turned green. There was a lot that Cassius still needed to learn about Lukas. His face soured, but quickly disappeared to replace it with concentration. He was fine, his relationship was fine, he was just doubting himself and his place in things. That was nothing new. 

If he had been anyone else, she might have missed the clouds that rolled across his countenance. She crossed her legs and sat straighter in the passenger seat, not comfortable with being pitied, or whatever he was feeling over on the drivers side of the car. 

Zofia’s face tugged down into a slight frown. It was probably for the best Lizzie didn’t have her number. She couldn’t imagine what the old woman could have to text about. And Richard was such a young creature. Zofia hadn’t spent enough time in her undead youth with the man’s sire, but she knew enough about her Great Aunt Lizzie that while Zofia might take advantage of the woman’s desire to treat her distant niece to fancy trinkets, the woman wasn’t a safe option. 

“You don’t want to know how I know her?” She asked, looking for clarity. “If you’re looking for that answer to come from Lukas, I’d be surprised if he knew the full answer.” She didn’t bother embellishing. If he wanted to know, Zofia knew Cassius would ask. Her eyes narrowed at his expression. “What’s that face?”

——

“No, I don’t.” He responded simply. “I’ll learn with time. I don’t want to pry into things he’s not ready to tell me himself.” He explained with a stern expression. He wanted to trust Lukas, but something told him he was in more danger than he wanted Cassius to know. It worried him. 

“What’s what face? It’s my face.” He retorted back, flashing a confused look in Zofia’s direction. “Life’s just weird right now, that’s all.” His hands squeezed on the steering wheel, and finally he decided to tell someone about Richard. “I caught Richard looking at different properties. I think he’s going to leave.” He hadn’t voiced his concerns to Inge, but he felt that maybe Zofia would be safe to talk to. 

Cassius didn’t know what to do with himself, he’d lived his life based on the tenants that Richard had told him to follow. And now that Richard was detached and distant, Cassius found that he had the potential to live life to his own rules. He just wasn’t so sure he knew what those rules were. “I’m not used to living life to my own accord and not someone else’s. Even when he disappeared back in the eighties, I still listened to what he had told me. But now? I’m not so sure.”

_

Amusement flickered across her face at his dismissal of her offer. She wondered what Lukas did know of her from his sire, if he knew anything at all. Would Lizzie have divulged that information? Their meetings over the years? Yes, she’d told the man Lizzie was her aunt, but it was much more complicated than that. The topic drifted away like the street lights they passed by. 

“Yes, your face. Your face when something is bothering you and you start to look as though you bit into a lemon, but then you replace it with your scrunched up concentration as you stare out at the road.” Zofia said, cocking an eyebrow up. “I may have lost my mind, but I didn’t lose my memory.”

‘Weird’ was quite probably the understatement of the year for poor Cassius. She knew her reappearance was likely just the cherry on top of a sundae of insane and upsetting occurrences. She waited for him to continue, red eyes not blinking as she watched him. 

“Properties is Wicked’s Rest?” She asked. Would the elder vampire expect Cassius to pick up and leave again, to follow him off to god-knew-where? She hoped for Lukas’s sake that wasn’t the case. “You’re not sure of what? Whether you’d go or stay?”

———-

Cassius’s frown deepened as Zofia described his face. He should have known better than to try and get away with something like this with her. “He’s looking at properties all around the United States, none of which are in Maine.” He told her with a serious look as they stopped at yet another light. “And I won’t follow him. It’s not my place to do so anymore.” Cassius stared at the red light, willing it to change so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at Zofia. Something about it hurt. 

“My home is here. I’m not leaving you again. I promised.” His grip on the wheel grew tighter. He wouldn’t leave her, he wouldn’t leave Lukas, he wouldn’t leave Inge. “I’ve made myself a family here and intend to keep it. If I go anywhere, it’s with Inge to New York City, not Richard to the middle of nowhere.” The light turned, and Cassius turned his attention back to the road. 

“I’ve never lived a life of my own.” He finally said, grateful to have something else to concentrate on that wasn’t his words. “Richard’s always been the one to dictate it, to make the hard decisions for me. I was never given the choice if I drink human blood or animal blood, it’s just how it was.” He sighed, turning into the parking lot of their destination. “But it’s finally time that I make my decisions. I’m done being that goody-two-shoes that Richard designed me to be.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed again. “I just don’t know how to do that without it looking like I’m going through an identity crisis.” 

Zofia studied the frown that etched itself across her face. It was good to hear he wouldn’t follow the elder vampire if he left again. It wasn’t her place anymore, to ask him to stay. But she’d still wish the best for him, still hope he fought for whatever it was he wanted.

“It’s not a promise I’d hold you too.” She said gently. “You’re free to go wherever you want, Cassius. No one should dictate that for you.” Her gaze was carefully locked on the lights that passed by the window. “New York wouldn’t be a bad option though.” The smile was evident in her voice, even if it hadn’t settled across her lips quite yet. 

“I don’t think that you need to stop being a ‘goody-two-shoes’ altogether. Be whatever good you want to be. So long as it’s your definition. Not someone else’s.” He deserved that much. Zofia unbuckled herself and glanced over at him with a gentle smile. “Does that make sense?”

________

The blonde shrugged his shoulders and shot a smile over to Zofia. “I know you don’t, but it’s one that I hold myself to. I have a family here. You, Lukas, Inge… you’re my family.” Cassius told her earnestly. “Inge and I talked about fleeing to New York, but we have people here who would be hesitant to leave. Wicked’s Rest is home whether we like it or not.” 

He thought about the time in which he felt his own control snap. He wasn’t himself, and he didn’t like it. Cassius decided he wouldn’t experience that again. “Step one is to be an English teacher again, finally.” He spoke with a nod. “I think it’s time I surrounded myself more with books and forcing the youth of this town to read what I deem fit.” He gave a mischievous smile to Zofia before opening his door and getting out of the car. “Shall we?” 

———

That gentle smile tightened almost imperceptibly before Zofia let it go. It was strange to hear herself called family again. From anyone. It had been so long since anyone had called her that. She forced her smile to ease back to something less rigid.