Blow Me

“What if after all this fighting it turns out this world isn’t for me? What if i don’t belong here?”

“To everyone wondering if they will ever move on. Yes, you will. It will take you some time. By ‘some time’ I mean a long time. It won’t be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing you’ll have to go through. Moving on is messy. It is either being too happy or too sad at 3am. It is laughing till your stomach aches, or crying till there are no more tears to be cried and you just feel dead inside. Moving on is the shaking of your hands and the breaking of your voice when you realise that there will never be a them and you again. Moving on is wondering what you did wrong and why you just weren’t good enough for them. Moving on also means eating less and drinking more alcohol than you should. It also means stopping everything that you’re doing and thinking about them. Actually, you will think about them a lot. You will see their favourite restaurant and you will think of them. You will hear their favourite song and you will think of them. You will look at your coffee and the shade of brown will resemble the colour of their eyes. At one point they will be all you think about. It starts the moment you wake up and never ends because even in your dreams they will be haunting you. But one day you will wake up and you will feel okay. The next day you will feel more than just okay, you will be fine. You will think of them still, yes. But it’s going to be a different kind of thinking. It will be a “wherever they are, I hope that they are fine and happy” kind of thinking. You will have moved on. You will have survived this hell. You will slowly but surely forget them more and more each day, and forgetting will never have felt that sweet. But you have to let yourself hurt before you can heal, remember. To everyone wondering if they will ever move on, you will.”