Misc Writing Blog

“How long have I been outside?” I think to myself. I don’t really know. I don’t deserve to know. I need to bring myself back to reality so I can do more work for my Saviour… I’m not allowed to think for myself or make decisions. I know that… so why did I?

“Get it together, you flowery idiot. Or let me take over if you’re going to be such an airhead and ruin things for our Saviour.”

Saeran has been growling inside me since yesterday. It’s giving me a headache. Stupid. Idiot. Airhead. That’s what I am. The rain felt like needles piercing me when I first came outside but now my body is numb. I don’t deserve to be numb – I should be feeling the pain meant for me. This isn’t working, but I don’t know what else to do, so I’ll stay here until someone gets me or until I disappear from this world. Just as I make that decision, I hear something. My heart beats faster in my chest as I look around and that’s when I see her running towards me. She says something to me but I don’t know what it is. I feel fuzzy and tired.

“MC… you shouldn’t be out here,” I say. She’s allowed in this area but it’s too cold for her out here. I want to say more and tell her that I missed her but I forget how to speak. She reaches out to take my hand and I let her. Her hand is so warm. It’s even harder to think with the sound of my heartbeat in my ears on top of Saeran’s grumbling and my own fogginess in my head. I decide to just let her lead me inside.

She takes me to the room I decorated especially for her. It smells like her and it comforts me – I’m happy that she’s staying here. She tells me to sit on the bed and even though I don’t want to get it covered in water, I don’t have a choice. My legs are already about to collapse from under me. She puts a towel over my shoulders and I hold onto it tight. I don’t deserve her kindness right now but I want to cherish it and I don’t know why, but I think Saeran does too.

She’s sitting beside me now. It takes me a minute to realise that she asked me something. What was it? Maybe she’s worried? I just tell her that I’m okay.

“You’re not though. I’m worried about you-“

So she is worried about me! Oh no… I’ve made a mistake. I can’t let her care about a weakling like me or else I’ll start getting ideas. That’s what my Saviour told me. I feel my eyes starting to water. I want her to care about me…

“I-I’m sorry! I won’t do it again so p-please! Please don’t hate me…” I say.

I can’t control my own speech. I’m already bad with words but I’m so cold now too. I shrink down and pull the towel tighter. I pay extra attention to what MC says next – I need her to forgive me. I don’t want her to hate me and leave.

“I’ll never hate you.”

That’s what she said, right? My worries melt away for a moment when I hear those words. I’m shivering from the cold but she takes my hand and says she’ll help me. She helps take off my heavier clothes and dries my hair before wrapping her arms around me. My chest feels sort of ticklish. What do I do with this feeling? It can’t be bad if it’s from her… I don’t have to worry. I hug her back.

“C-Can we stay like this? My heart is pounding and I think it might burst but… it’s a good feeling, I think. I’ve n-never been held like this… “ I’m still shaking and my words don’t come out how I want them to. You’re so pathetic, Ray. He’s right, but MC doesn’t seem to mind. My next words come out on their own before I can stop myself.

“I really like you, MC.” I tell her.

So… that’s what this feeling is. My thoughts get noisy again. What if she thinks that’s gross or she doesn’t like me back? What if she’s going to leave? I find myself gripping her more tightly than I mean to. But her response is the last one I expect.

“I like you too.”

There is a pause. I feel lighter than air but I don’t know what to say. Then she whispers something.

“I love you, Ray.”

Oh for fuck’s sake that’s disgusting. I ignore Saeran. No one has ever said that to me before. I can’t stop myself from crying and I can feel my face getting hot… I can’t run from here in this state so I turn away from MC instead.

“I l-love you t-too…” I reply quietly.

It has been a few days since I came to this building. I’m still not sure what I’ve gotten myself into, but I have a strong feeling that I’m needed here. I’m in the middle of finishing part of my assigned task when I catch a glimpse of something outside my window.

Torrential rain is pouring down over the garden so it’s hard to see, but I’m sure I see someone out there getting soaked to the bone. Feeling uneasy, I go downstairs to see them. When I get outside with my umbrella, I can clearly see who it is.

“Ray!” I call out.

He looks around quickly – he could probably only just hear me over the downpour. I run over to him without thinking as my worry takes over me.

“Ray… You’re completely drenched.”

“MC…” he mumbles, seemingly in a daze, “you shouldn’t be out here.”

I bite my lip. I can’t let him stay out here like this or he’ll get sick. Without another word, I take his hand and lead him inside. He’s strangely silent the whole way to my room. Once there, I let him sit down on my bed. I don’t really care if it gets wet. I leave him for just a moment to get a towel and I drape it over him before trying to get him to speak.

“What were you doing out there? You must be so cold…”

Gripping the edge of the towel tightly, he looks at me as I tentatively sit beside him. He hesitates before he answers me.

“I-It doesn’t matter. I’m okay, really.”

“You’re not though. I’m worried about you, you could have gotten hypothermia if you stayed out there like that.”

I make sure to speak softly to him, trying to show that I genuinely care. For some reason, he tears up a little bit.

“I-I’m sorry!” he stammers. “I won’t do it again so p-please! Please don’t hate m-me…”

He wilts like he’s expecting me to punish him. I can’t tell if his stuttering is from his usual timid demeanour or if he’s shivering because of the cold but perhaps it doesn’t matter.

“I’ll never hate you,” I reassure him.

I take his hand and place my other hand on top of his. He’s shaking and he looks tired.

“I’m going to help you warm up, okay?”

“… Okay.”

I help him take off his heavy, rain-soaked coat and vest and hang them up on the door before gently rubbing his hair dry with the towel. I put the towel on his shoulders once again and then I wrap my arms around him. He stiffens for just a fraction of a second and then relaxes completely, returning my hug.

“C-Can we stay like this? My heart is pounding and I think it might burst but… It’s a good feeling, I think. I’ve n-never been held like this…”

“Of course, Ray,” I reply.

It always pains me to hear that Ray hasn’t experienced things like this. I can’t imagine what his life must have been like before he started working for the woman he calls his saviour. I don’t think I could handle hearing about it right now. I just want to savour this moment and I hope it becomes a good memory for him.

“I… Really like you, MC,” he says, holding me a little tighter. I sometimes wonder if he’s worried I’ll disappear.

“I like you too.”

I stroke his hair gently and he leans into my touch. Even though his clothes are still wet, I can feel him heating up a little and I can breathe a sigh of relief. After a beat of silence, I confess to him with my voice just above a whisper:

“I love you, Ray.”

He leans away slightly and looks at me with a stunned expression. Then he starts to cry. He pulls me close again and hides his face from view but I swear I saw his cheeks flush.

“I l-love you t-too…” he replies. “I-I’m sorry for crying. N-No one has told me that before.”

“It’s okay.”

His tears don’t bother me in the slightest. If he loves me too, they must be happy tears. My heart beats wildly as he holds me to his chest. I’m so happy.

We haven’t had many chances to see each other lately with how hard Ray has been working, so whenever I do see him, I want to give him as much affection as possible. I missed seeing him. I hope we can leave this place together someday. For now though, we hold each other in silence. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t even know Ray was crying with how quiet he is.

   Saeran woke up with a grimace and slammed his hand down hard on his alarm clock’s snooze button. It was time for him to start his most important assignment given to him by The Saviour but waking up this early put him in a particularly sour mood. He forced himself to get out of bed and trudged over to his wardrobe to grab his suit and tie – he had to look presentable when he saw his new toy, after all. He wasted no time in getting dressed and taking his daily dose of elixir. He had to be extremely efficient in this line of work or there would be heavy consequences. Grumbling angrily, he set about packing things he would need starting with the essentials. He managed to pack a knife, some rope, a blindfold, duct tape, chloroform, his laptop, and some medical supplies before receiving a text telling him to get moving. He snatched his keys off his desk and twirled them around his finger as he grabbed his bag of supplies and headed out to his car.

   After driving impatiently for a few hours, he arrived at his destination – a run-of-the-mill apartment building located in the city. He retrieved his supplies from the trunk of his car and took out his laptop to disable the building’s security cameras. It was merely child’s play for a man of his caliber. He scoffed, shutting the lid of his laptop with a grin. He made his way to a certain apartment and opened the door as silently as possible. He pulled his knife out of his pocket and entered the bedroom. There she was, sleeping so peacefully. “How pitiful that she is completely unaware of the situation she is in,” he thought. In an instant, he was by her side and his knife was pressed against her throat as he used his other hand to restrain hers. “Good morning, Princess,” Saeran said with a smile.

   The woman awoke with a start as the cool metal of the knife touched her skin. She went to scream but was quickly silenced by the stinging sensation of the knife piercing her skin. “None of that, idiotic woman. If you scream, I’d be forced to knock you out, and that would be incredibly boring.” She fell silent. The moonlight shining through her window made it possible to just make out the face of her assailant and his shockingly white hair. Though she felt pure terror upon seeing him, she couldn’t help but think that he looked quite handsome somewhere in the back of her mind. “Good. Now, you’re going to get dressed and you’re going to come with me, understand?” Her brain scrambled to somehow form an answer. At first, she wanted to protest, but then something compelled her to agree with him. “Y-Yes,” she replied breathlessly. Saeran chuckled. “What a stupid answer that was, though it is an acceptable one. Let’s go, airhead.” The woman complied with his demands and found herself laying in the backseat of his car with a blindfold on. Her arms and legs were bound tightly with thick rope that cut into her sensitive skin. She was uncomfortable, but the pounding of her heart was more distracting than the pain. She could not comprehend why, but along with the fear, she felt a sense of excitement. Saeran ignored her for the entire drive back to his home. It was much better to let her thoughts run wild than to talk to her.    Eventually, Saeran stopped the car and opened the back door. They had arrived, and it would soon be time for him to play with his new toy – he just had to get her to a place where he would not be disturbed. He soaked a cloth from the medical kit in chloroform and held it to the woman’s face. It would take five minutes to knock her out, but he had the time to spare. When she was out, he took her into a spare room, carrying her over his shoulder.    The last thing the woman remembered was a sweet smell and a burning sensation on her nose, and now she had woken up tied to a chair in an almost-empty room. She was alone for just a few minutes until Saeran joined her, holding the blindfold in one hand and his knife in the other. “Hello again, toy. I hope you’re ready for some fun,” he teased. “In here, you can scream all you want.” She looked back at him, feeling a bit hazy from the chemical. “I…I am,” she replied shyly. This situation had brought out a different side of her, and she took the opportunity to explore it. Saeran’s cruel smile was replaced with a look of utter annoyance. “You are, hm? How irritating.” He walked over to her and placed the blindfold on a table before grabbing her jaw roughly. “You better make this fun for me, or you’ll regret it. We’re going to be together for a long time.”

   After meeting Saeran Choi, or Ray as she knew him then, a certain young girl's life had spun out of control. She now sat down on a couch and thought about each thing that had happened and how it led her here. As she was lost in thought, she felt a light tap on her shoulder and heard the sound of Saeran's voice, breaking her out of her reverie. "Are you ready to go? Saeyoung is waiting for us, you know," he said. The girl looked up with a smile. "Right," she replied, "I'm ready." It had been a few months since Saeyoung was brought back to the RFA - luckily, with only minor injuries. Through tending to them, Saeran and his brother had made much progress in fixing their relationship and healing together. Holding her hands and pulling her to her feet, Saeran placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I want to thank you first though. This is all possible thanks to you. You helped me get my brother back, and you were understanding while I was getting used to it all. I... I never imagined that my future would be this bright before you came along." He pulled her in for a hug. "I love you." She blushed and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you too, Saeran. I would do it all again, I just want you to be happy." Chuckling lightly, he pulled away and grabbed her hand. "Thank you. Okay, now let's go," Saeran said, smiling softly.    The two of them headed outside holding hands, and walked over to the fancy sports car waiting for them. Saeyoung greeted them with a huge grin as soon as he saw them come out the door, calling out "Come on, little brother, we’re going to be late!” Saeran rolled his eyes in fake exasperation, but picked up his pace a little bit, making sure his girlfriend could keep up. He opened the back door for her and climbed in after she sat down. Saeyoung had planned to take them to see a movie for a while, and they finally managed to get some time to go. As soon as they were buckled in, Saeyoung stepped on the gas, eager to spend some time with his brother and soon-to-be sister. “Don’t worry, I picked out a movie I’m sure you two will love,” he said enthusiastically. Saeran had never been to a cinema, so he had decided to let Saeyoung choose after making sure it was okay with his girlfriend. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t nervous about the whole thing, but her presence alone was able to keep him calm.    After the movie, the three siblings of sorts went out for dinner and had a great time bonding. Saeran had gotten through it all pretty well, only panicking a little bit because of the crowd. With Saeyoung and the love of his life to take care of him, he was able to pull through – and actually had a lot of fun. Saeyoung drove the others home somewhat reluctantly. He really wanted them to move in with him, or at least live close by, but Saeran insisted that they have their space until his relationship with Saeyoung improved. Little did he know that Saeran planned to ask him about it soon. Once they arrived, Saeyoung pouted a little bit. “I never get to see you guys, and you’re my family!” he complained. His future sister-in-law laughed a little bit. “Don’t worry, Saeyoung. You’ll see us again. And you had fun tonight, right? Think of that for now, you already text us everyday.” Saeyoung continued to pout a little, but he looked slightly less upset. “Oh alright. But I better see you sooner next time!” Everyone got out of the car and Saeyoung gave his family members a big bear-hug. “I love you both, stay safe.” And with that, he got back in his car to make the long drive back to his bunker. With his father and Rika behind bars, he felt much better about them living so far away. Saeran waved after the car as it disappeared into the distance.