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One Nice Bug Per Day
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@silvantransthranduiltrash
Ive gotten some pretty unhinged fanfic reveiws in my time ...... but this one ... you good bro? You need a hug? You need to go outside and touch some grass?
OH M G BABE, YOU GOT ONE TOO?
Do you think that theyâre the same person?
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Read the 'American Noldo' and now i remember whole elves immigration mess đ
YeahâŚâŚ
Anti-kings legolas in the middle of a conversation with Imladris's scholar that casually insist of the whole 'chosen by the valar/eru' elvenkings
Legolas has to re-evaluate his priorities at that moment, bc he could either:
A: bitch slap the scholar and maybe get kicked out of imlardis.
B: stay silent, stay in imlardis.
Or
C: engage in the conversation and likely get a migraine bc idiocy.
He chooses option D:
1. stay silent,
2. seem agreable,
3. set the scholarâs papers/belongings on fire,
4. claim itâs an act of eru
5. Watch as the scholar desperately defends âeruâsâ actions despite it being bs
6. Profit!
"The Noldor are the Americans of middle earth"
Would that make Valinor Britain?
Yes
Hc that elves love dinosaurs when theyâre discovered. Theyâre so used to being the oldest things on earth, that the idea of giant reptiles existing millions of years ago gives them a rush. Everysingle one of them has a dinosaurs phase and they will argue about what the dinosaurs were like. If/when they meet the ainur, they will be asking them about the dinosaurs as well as that time in history.
Idk, just the idea of the elves being supper excited about those long gone periods of the earth as they discover the history of dinosaurs and what came before and after them.
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Listen, i simp for side characters, right? Iâm in more fandoms than the lotr/silm one and am always hyped for a side character. But i dinât want them to be the main character at all. For me, part of the fascination is them being aide characters, bc with side characters, you interact with them differently, they follow a different set of rules to that of a main character.
honestly, i think elves should be polyamorous af, like, listen, i get that people stay together for a long, but eternity? i'm not saying it's impossible, nor am i saying that they have to fall out of love with their original partner, but people evolve, grow, and meet new people and i can deffinalty see them compensating the amount of death and sadness they see with being in love with more people. espescially if we take into account that elves that have their partner die in ME but survive indefinitely will be effectivly widowed but also not.
idk idk, but polyamourous elves just makes sense to me logistically, more so than eternally monogomous elves.
No one:
Not a single person:
Me: *side eyes the feanorianâs followers bc the feanorians at least have the excuse of the oath for what they did, what reason did their followers have to justify their participation in the bloodbath*
I assumed most of them doubled down after the first kinslaying out of âend justifies the meansâ desperation and just hoped the end would come sooner if they just went a bit harder.
Obviously they were all doomed, but committing murder doesnât really leave you more able to make better choices.
Idk what sort of shit was wrong with the ones who took Diorâs kids. That bunch had truly gone off the deep end.
Yeah, i just think itâs interesting that we give the feanorian brothers so much shit, but their followers, who arguable had less reason to do what they did, get let of relativly scot free (in the fandom at least. Or i just might be on the wrong side if fandom)
After Oropher dies, elrond and galadriel and others are waiting to see Thranduil and meet with him for things and they are dreading it bc Oropher is a character.
Heâs a character that is hard to get along with because he does not let anyone tell him what to do.
And then they meet Thranduil and heâs literally one of the most calm and chill elves to have ever lived.
Oropher and Thranduil are total opposite in regards to temperaments and the other elves feel like itâs witch craft.
They donât know that itâs because Thranduil, unlike Oropher, isnât going to bother arguing with someone or announcing what he plans on doing. Heâs gonna do what heâs gonna do, and you either find out after the fact, or not at all.
No one:
Not a single person:
Me: *side eyes the feanorianâs followers bc the feanorians at least have the excuse of the oath for what they did, what reason did their followers have to justify their participation in the bloodbath*
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âNolofinwe wasnât trying to assurp his brother-â but wouldnât it be so much more fun if he was? Just imagine thinking your only problem in life is becoming the heir of your fatherâs kingdom over your brother, you know? A normal court drama, with significantly less risks because everythingâs a little vanilla in valinor.
And all of a sudden your dadâs dead, your people are leaving your home land, your brother and his sons have sworn an oath that in no way shape or form seems to be a good idea, and then your brother and his followers end up killing elves for boats of all things, and at this point you kind of want to go back but your kids are going and at this point you are committed, and it all goes down hill from there.
Like, this was not what he signed up for. Maybe a bit of subterfuge, maybe a life long fued with his brother, because hey, theyâre in valinor, itâs not like things were really at risk of going horribly wrong, so you thought, lets spice up life a bit and try to become heir bc itâs not like anything will come of it, itâs not like finwe was ever gonna die. And the next thing you know, your entire family is either a criminal, dead or dying.
Like, i genuinely believe the issue of succession wasnât that deep, bc obviously itâs not as if there was any real risk or danger in court, given the fact that they lived in the blessed lands, so a number of elves probably didnât take it that seriously, until all of a sudden it went from 0 to 100 real quick.
Young Aragorn: *bemoaning his crush on Arwen, that he hasnât told anyone about yet, to the trees surrounding imlardis*
Legolas, in Mirkwood, hearing of Aragornâs crush via the tree grapevine and bolting towards Imlardis at Mach 10: *bursting through the trees* YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON WHO!?!
Me: *rises from the grave*
What if Tauriel is trans!Thranduilâs dead name?
Ngl, i can think of nothing funnier than legolas (and the silvans) being veminantly anti monarchist bc now heâs constantly interacting with royalty and nobles (aragorn, elladan, elrohir, arwen, boromir, faramir, elrond, etc) and on one hand he knows theyâre good people. On the other hand, the idea that they are the rightful leaders of anything bc fate flipped a coin and they happened to be born into their bloodline boils his blood.
Like, the silvans use the titles of king, queen, prince, etc bc itâs the quickest way to get their point across with other elven/human kingdoms while minimizing the confusion, but they donât actually work like a monarchy.
(It would be even funnier if luthien and dior were also veminantly anti monarchist, but bc theyâre the crown princess and prince respectivly theyâre opinions were glossed over constantly.)
When Legolas comes to valinor he hates the forests there.
Tbf, itâs not bc the forests are bad, itâs the opposite in fact. Itâs too good. There are no issues or scars. Itâs to perfect, uncanny valley vibes, and not the ones he is used to.
See Greenwood has always been a bit of a murder forest, even before sauronâs bs, thatâs just the cherry on top. Greenwood has always been the home to things that shouldnât be but are.
He would like his hell forest back please.
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Legolas realizing he accidentally ate all of luthienâs snacks: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
Luthien, approaching at mach 20: DROWN IN YOUR SORROWS AND FEARS~CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARS- FLEE TILL YOU RUN OUT OF YEARS- WE MUST DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SURVIVE!!!!!!
Legolas: never thought weâd be in this position.
Luthien: maybe not, but you gotta admit i make a sexy grandma!
