Silvana Alvarez

     Simply put, she didn’t understand a word of Silvana’s thorough explanation. 

     Andrea held a hand up and shook her head to stop the other’s speech. “I’m no scientist.” A statement which wouldn’t be a shock to anyone. “But write all of that shit down, I need to keep a copy of what the hell we’re selling people.” 

     Which brought her to her next, and admittedly most important, point: “An easier come down. Does it still keep people hooked? Your little experiment is only good enough if we keep selling. So can you make it better?” A longer high might be useful for the consumer, but not entirely for the manufacturer or the investor. And here they both stood. “We’ll sell out a test batch, see what happens.” Another pause. “Next time, make it more addictive.”

---

Silvana took a deep breath, lifting her drink to her lips to buy her time in her response. “Do you want the chemical formula or the summary?” Silvana already had the chemical formulas in her personal log book and it wouldn’t be to hard to transfer it to a more available ledger. The hard part would be if Andrea wanted in words that everyone could understand. Silvana might need to enlist for that. 

Silvana bit her tongue, her pride slowly turning into shame. She thought she had accomplished something to help the gang, and her family. “MDMA is mostly a party drug. All the depression and tired chemicals it blocks whiles it's active all come flooding back at the end of the high. It puts a bitter aftertaste on the whole thing. My thought was if people don't have the gross feeling like they do with our competitors then next time they party they are more likely to choose us” Silvana tried to explain. She didn’t want to leave an impression with Andrea that she didn’t understand how the trade worked. Silvana didnt want it to seem like she was disposable.

     Admittedly juggling more conversations than she could manage, it took Andrea more than the promissed five minutes to finally step into her own office and be greeted by Silvana. There was no way to know how long it had taken the other to get there, but she would give her the benefit of the doubt. She was there, and Andrea needed people who could follow orders without making a scene. 

     Once the door closed and they were in the private safety of the back room, Andrea nodded and took a seat on the chair behind her beaten-down desk. “Tell me about it.” Three drawers were opened before she found the notebook she’d been searching for and a working pen. But before she heard the other, Andrea added: “We’re getting a lot of civilian traffic. Back door when you’re on the job. Front door when you just want a drink. Got it?”

---

Silvana wasn’t exactly sure how long she waited for her new boss. She refused to check the clock, knowing it would just make time move slower. It wasn’t like Silvana could leave even if it had been more than the allotted five minutes. Instead she killed time by going through the pitch in her head. Vana was a scientist first and foremost. She could do her experiments blind folded and backwards, but trying to explain it to others was so much harder, and she knew she'd be asked to do exactly that. 

    Vana looked up from her drink that she had been swirling slowly as she thought as Andrea arrived. They tried to give a pleasant smile as they bit back on their tongue. Vana remembered when the Cartel held their heads high, and hid from no one. It was the gang her sister had loved before she died, now Vana was being asked to sneak in the back door. The argument burned down her throat as she swallowed the words that first sprang to mind. In the logical part of her brain, Vana knew that they had just suffered a major loss, and Andrea was being careful. It was a smart move. Silvana knew she had to trust their new boss even if she didn’t like it. Instead Vana settled on a simple. “Understood”

Silvana took a sip of her drink to compose herself before launching into the explanation she had been rehearsing.  “MDMA works a lot like Caffeine. It prevents adenine from binding to your A1 receptors in your brain.  However MDMA  also produces high amounts of Dopamine, Serotonin and Norepinephrine. That's the part that gives people the high they're looking for out of Ecstacy. It’s fight or flight with some pretty colors slapped on top of the experience. I was able to introduce Theophylline into the formula of our Ecstacy. Theophylline helps the body process all the chemicals that end up flying around. Essentially making it give a better, longer high with an easier come down.” Silvana explained, perking up. She was proud of what she was able to do, what she was able to provide for the gang.  The masses wouldn’t need to go anywhere else if the Cartel was able to start producing this on a larger scale.

——

“Heya Babes!” she greeted with a loud exclamation, hugging Vana tight to her. Michal had sisters - two of them, in fact. Proper goody-two-shoes, did as they were told, married all right – sisters. The ones that didn’t talk to her, didn’t want her at Sunday dinners and always teased her for being exactly what their father wanted – minus the needed dick. It used to hurt her to be rejected by her own family – and then Vana came into her life and filled the void her sisters had created. 

“I wanted to check in and make sure you were okay. I read in the paper about a guy being stabbed around the area of that play, thought that it would have been your kind of scene - the theater, not the stabbing.” She spoke quietly when she spoke about violence. Not even cartoon violence was mentioned loudly when Xio had the ability to overhear. Let kids be kids. 

“And there is my favorite godbaby!” she screeched when she saw Xio, scooping her up into her arms and peppering her face with kisses. “Pictures and facetime don’t show me how big you’ve gotten since I’ve seen you. It’s been a year, how are you so big?” she teased, staggering in play as she carried the child and the gifts inside. “Ayyy look at this picture! Hamuda, you made this for me? I’m going to get it framed and hang it up in my new fancy office.” She would too, set it higher than her medical license. “Hey, open these presents, they’re heavy,” she said, setting the girl down so she could hand her the gifts. “Let me talk to mama for a bit,” she asked. 

“I got absolutely nothing that could make a mess - mostly because stuffed animals and jewelry are easier to fit into a bag.” She pulled a kitchen chair out and sat down. “Brace yourself, Sweets,” she said to Vana before she exhaled slowly. “I’m staying stateside for a while. Minimum six months - I’ve got a contracting job with a hospital to set up an emergency physician response system. I wanted to let you know first,” she paused because Vana knew the truth, Vana would be the only one who cared. “and you’re the only one on my list to tell so –” she put her chin in her hands and set her elbows on the table. “Do you know any apartments around here?” 

---

The joy of seeing Michal was damped slightly by the mentions of violence. Vana couldn't help their glance at Xiomara making sure she hadn’t heard, Vana knew that Michal was careful but it was second nature to protect their baby girl.  “We were there. I managed to avoid most of the scene with her. But it was a reminder of what kind of city we live in” Vana couldn’t tell Michal how much more it meant. How close of a reminder that it was of the danger that Vana was bringing to their own kid's doorstep. That if she wasn’t careful she could be the next body turning up at the park. Vana swallowed the rest of the words that bubbled up in her throat, wrapping her sweater tighter around herself to shield herself from the thoughts that had been haunting her since the theater. 

The dark gloom couldn’t last long not with Michal in the house. Watching her scoop up Xio was a reminder of just how big and loving the family Vana managed to build was. Xio was fawning under the attention and praise, the little girl's giggles ringing out through the apartment she called home.  At the mention of presents, her eyes lit up as she dashed to open them up, carefully ripping and folding the wrapping before examining each gift in turn. Vana was grateful for Xios penchant for taking time with gifts, it gave Silvana a moment to wrench her mind from the darkness and back into the moment. 

“Oh thank you. My brother got her these paint pen-type things the other day and I had to replace the table in her room.” Vana said with visible relief. She loved how creative her daughter was but sometimes she wished she would be creative within the confines of paper. It was second nature for Vana to take a seat next to Michal at the kitchen table.  What followed was a large dosage of emotional whiplash. At the warning, Silvana was preparing for the worst. That Michal would be shipping out next week, what she was not prepared for was practically the best news she had all year. “You’re staying?!” Silvana couldn’t keep the joy out of her voice. It took every bit of her adult restraint to not jump out of her chair and launch herself at her best friend. Vana did however start to physically bounce in her chair from excitement.  “We have the guest room if you need a place right away. Or fuck if it keeps you here you can have my king and Ill crash in the guest room.” Vana wasn’t prone to swearing much anymore, not since Xio was born, but the excitement of the situation brought back her old college vocabulary.

“Wait no you probably want privacy for extracurricular s.  I know there are a couple of units in this building. My brother's building also has a couple of units.” Vana was slowly slipping into planning mode, thinking about all the contacts she had, and what would be good neighborhoods for Michal. Best keep her away from the other gang territories or Vana would have problems visiting her friend. Maybe it was time to bust out the spreadsheet. Vana turned her attention back to her friend, voice growing soft “I'm surprised you agreed to stay. Did something change?”

Location: Outside of Vana’s home For: @silvana-alvarez​

—

She came bearing gifts as her bags came in three days after the play. With her clothes came all the presents she had collected for Vana and Xio. After she had been disowned by her family, and divorced from her wife, all she had was Vana and Xio. Hell, Vana was the only one who knew that Joan had been the one who could have convinced her to stay in the states, leave the Army, become a proper doctor. Vana was the only one who knew that Michal had been willing to throw away every dream related to the Army that she had for the heart and love of one woman. 

Now, she had the love of a woman who was like a sister - better than a sister because Michal had two of them, and they hated her. She also had a little goddaughter, though it was in sentiment only because Michal had every intention of dying in combat-related service. 

“Vana!” she knocked on the door once and again, “Open up! I have breakfast plans for us, and presents for you - shiny things that might be jewelry - and soft cuddly things for Xio – and other shiny things for her that also might be jewelry.” 

The days since the play had left Vana shaken. While she hadn’t been particularly close to the previous head, it was a stark reminder of the violence of the world that was just a hair's breadth away from Xiomara. Vana had taken her to the play, hoping it would be a fun bonding activity instead she spent the end of the night trying to avoid anything that her daughter might ask too many questions about or need therapy for later down the road. The message from Michal had been a relief,a light of hope in a turbulent time.  It has set Silvana into motion, prepping the apartment she called home for the visit, gathering the odds and ends she collected that reminded her of the medic while she was overseas. Xio was equally excited for ‘Auntie Mi’ to visit and had spent the previous evening creating her best drawing to bestow on her.

Silvana didn’t have quite the word for her relationship with Michal. She was there through some of the brightest days of Silvanas life, such as the birth of Xio, as well as the darkest days following Silvanas sister's death. Michal knew just about everything, she was Silvanas rock. Yet it went both ways. Vana would guess that she knew more than  anyone about Joan and what could have been. When Vana heard the knock on the door she jumped up from her seat  at the table drawing with Xio and practically ran to the door. Throwing it open and immediately going for a hug on the medic, she was military she could handle one bear hug from a slight pharmacist right?

“Michal” Excitement and happiness were laced into her voice. Letting go she gave a quick once over on the other women looking from any lingering injuries from overseas. Vana was aware that Michal would never leave the army, but it would also destroy Vana if anything were to happen. “You spoil us.” The slight admonishment came with no bite as a smile could not leave Vanas lips. She didn’t let go of Michals arm as she dragged her inside and towards the table where Xiomara was wiggling in her seat. “Funny we also have a few things for you.” Xiomara ran over and gave Michal a bear hug to rival Vanas, happily presenting her the crayon drawing of the three of them together. “For you Auntie Mi!” the child proclaimed.