as long as it lasts

I’ve given my heart to you

My knees are weak, the world feels new

A foal in the light, you’re always gentle with me

In the dark before the dawn, you are the North Star guiding me from harm

Lead me where you go

and I’ll follow

I am rich when I’m with you

The sky is a new shade of blue

The calm after the storm, you’d weather anything with me

A lovers eyes to be explored

show me what it means to be adored

Lead me where you go

and I’ll follow

And if forever meets an end, know you’ll always have a friend

know I’ll never find another quite like you.

My love, you glow (of course you do)

My love, I say it loud and true

My love, I’d be so fucking lost without you

I’ve travelled through the bleakest nights,

celebrated great delights, laughed until I’ve broken down in fits

but nothing can compare to finding home between your lips

Lead me where you go

and I’ll follow

Lead me where you go

I look for you in every shade of purple, and I find you everywhere; from bouquets of lavender to vanilla twilight sunsets to the lacquered tips of my fingers — fingers I could spend eternities tracing along the soft ivory of your skin.

I find you in the creases in my cheeks and the crinkles by my eyes, the joyous intertwining of our laughs swirling through my brain and flooding my senses.

I find you calling my name as the music swells. My heart erupting into cacophonous symphonies, the lyrics scrawled on the inside of my chest, waiting for you to sing them.

I find you in the quiet moments when I can hear my ribs cracking open as my heart tries to make its way back to you, aching every moment that you’re gone.

I find you when the sun kisses my skin, reminding me that I’m worthy enough to be loved in the daylight.

I find you in every 11:11, every dandelion blown to the wind, every four leaf clover, and every shooting star because I wished for you every time;

to be lucky enough to love and be loved by you.

close

so close

fingers dusting the edges of something splendid

i was close

so close

but not quite

alive until dead

over but not fully

a desire that eats me from the inside out

i crave the something new

the glimmer of prospect

of pride

stretched thin at the thought of it

i reach desperatley

but i am plucked midair

the ice cold hands of wasted promise wringing out my neck

it’s in the unanswered messages

the purgatory of scholarship

the smiling photos that stare back at me with joyful contempt

and i wonder

how much of me is made up of losing you?

fragmented into bitter reminders that i was close

so close