alaska gold

not me getting legitimately angry at 5am because there’s literally no good romance books to read anymore.

A part of me will always regret that I’ll never be the kind of person to find daisies at the side of the road, or that I’ll never meet my greatest love inside a museum.

I'm at the only one who finds it exhausting to leave the house? I sit down and have to talk myself into leaving most times. Right now, I need to go down to the supermarket and my brain is able to come up with plausible reasons why not having dinner is 100% better than setting foot outside. There's a hermit crab inside me and they completely refuse to interact with anything outside.

you are so lucky to have yourself. no one else has this privileged.

I think back to the laundromat scene in Hyena an unhealthy amount of times. Once the thought pops into my head, my brain stops working for a good three seconds at least. I just bumped into someone at the supermarket because we were both reaching for the same juice bottle. Covid and all that made us both look up, step back and awkwardly gesture so the the other would take it first and rid us from this increasingly long encounter. Fast forward and hour later, I’m walking to the bus and there they are again. They nodded first, I nodded back. Is my neighborhood suffering from a massive influx of new people or is this person plotting to sneak into my life and destroy me completely? I guess we’ll never know. 

I arrive home and lock the doors and I wonder if I’m trying to keep my heart safe or everyone else out?