median lookin ass @silent-sentinels - Tumblr Blog

hello ☆ our system's name is The (Sword in the) Scabbard System, but you can call us Voli collectively, he/they/any. we're an orbital median system that's still figuring things out! we've been treating this blog as a plural journal, where we store our system thoughts and miscellaneous musings! :] <3

we are pro-endo, please dni if you are not!

#scabbard scribbles #pinned and appointed #‚

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previous fronter (??? one of the fear holders or...? i don't know, they were blurry) called me up, handed me front, said someone wanted to talk to me, then left.

so i was like, huh? yeah, sure, okay! and now they're telling me i have to draw, which is like "okay, i don't think that one's my job" but they just repeated "you're in front so you have to draw" so uh. i guess i have to draw now. whoops!!

#📿#the skills are co-con so rocky's not up front with me. which is like. well that sucks but what can ya do?#do you think i can call someone else up... which is more worth it: calling someone else up or just committing to drawing.#i'll draw but if someone [raises voice to the rest of my sysmates] IF SOMEONE WANTS TO OVERTAKE FRONT I WON'T BE OPPOSED.#...there's just quiet grumbling and shuffling hgkjgh okay dang okay

i am so tired... being alive is so scary... why do i have to be brave... why can't i curl up into a scared little ball inside a dome barrier and wait for everything to leave me alone...

#[three of swords]#👑 there's no time for it. the waiting and the hiding. there is much to be done. resign yourself to it. stand back up and keep walking.#🍎 ...also maybe go eat something. just a suggestion. it might help a little bit!#ok...

[walks around in a little circle]

#🐾#mmn. nervous. nerrrvous.#[does another little circle]#nnnervouss....#its okay. will calm down soon. hmn. [circles again]

come on. it's okay. you're okay, i promise. you made a vow. several, sure. only one is important right now.

i know. it is hard to keep trudging onwards. i know you can do it. the world is callous. i know you think it holds nothing for you but i promise that it does, in ways that are small and in ways that feel insufficient, but goddamnit, this is somewhere to be. this is all you have, but it's still something.

fortify a resolve that hurts to repair; it feels easier, is easier to let it decay, erode in the stew of apathy and heartbreak and voiceless cries to a void unlistening, but hold yourself, press the pieces back in and wait for the mending.

your words, my words, repeated in volta, ad infinum: streets and sodium lights. the sky, the world. you're alive. stay that way. i want you to stay that way. no matter what it takes, you are breathing and your heart beats and you must continue. this is not a place to die, nor the time for it.

do not hurt yourself. do not kill yourself. keep me here if it helps you. i do not mind. any little thing that keeps you alive. it's my job. i will do it readily.

#👑#low morale this morning. excessive intrusive thoughts‚ none taken action upon. morale keeps wavering and i am trying to fortify it.#smoothing down the sternum where the cracks come worst. your chest aches. that's okay. we will live through it.#it's hard to find the reasons. i promise they exist. breathe. rounded breaths. recall that you are alive. recall you must stay this way.#i love you. you will be alright. i love you.

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👑 hm. thought it'd be an outing for the newer ones but it's looking like a skills morning for now.

i typed my crown but the lines are very blurred. there's definitely more than our usual bunch, some of voli (lavender group) in with us as well.

well you know what that means!! kim bomber jacket today :)!!

this will guard you, come what may. kim will protect you.

that's definitely not how it works but i'd rather make the bus than argue with you.

bring an umbrella. you'll need it.

not if we're lucky!

we seldom are.

let's make the bus, loves.

hey what's stopping us from doing free slushie day at 7 eleben tomorrow

well 1) if we're too tired to go (considerin we just did laundry and all) and 2) it will be raining, which is a whole nother layer of bullshit that i'm not really keen on messin with.

okay but consider... we could also get a burrito bowl while we're out

...okay. i'm considering.

haha yesss :3

only considering though. no promises.

sure kitty~ is it finally naptime btw =w=

if you mean regular ass bedtime, then yeah sure. go say goodnight, i ain't good at this stuff.

lmao, sure you are babe, but okay xoxo

#💄#🥃#🥃 does this shit warrant a romance tag or...#💄 oh i can solve that one [kisses you on the lips]#🥃 ...ok that solves that...#[cavaliers courtship]#🥃 ...[kiss]. ok. go to bed now.#💄 hehe okay <33

🧹 d'ya want a treatsie :)?

🥃 literally no.

🧹 ...but i want a treatsie :(?

🥃 ok what do you want.

🧹 ummmm i dunno!! you pick!!

🥃 ?? i just said i didn't want one?

🧹 nnnoooooo :(!!!!

#🥃 girl you're so complicated.#🥃 i literally don't want anything. and she's genuinely got no preferences. between the two of us we ain't decidin shit 😭#🥃 i ain't much for sugar. i prefer savory personally...#🥃 we've been collectively craving a burrito bowl for weeks now at this point‚ but s'in the complete opposite direction of the laundromat.#🥃 so. tough luck. :/#🧹 i want red 40 ^-^#🥃 thaaaat's not a drink.#🧹 yeah it is!!#🥃 okay okay i'll get us fruit punch.#🧹 HOORAYYYYY!!

🥃 [yawns] laundry day i guess...

#🥃 what'd that big guy say yesterday? that we're nocturnal? well‚ still true. unfortunately laundry waits for no sleep schedule.#🥃 m'i your fronter for the day? ah sure i guess... if i have to be.#🥃 let's grab somethin to eat and get outta here...

[grumbles] think we're back to being nocturnal...

#💪 ...feels like me today. weird...#💪 m not usually a fronter.#💪 ...ah well. probably someone different after we nap...

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bro cooked the worst burrito bowl in existence, forced to leave earth entirely

#🍰 bro it's so dire lmaooo #🍰 i just wanted a burrito bowl but we didnt wanna go out today so i tried to make one and it's such a poor excuse for a burrito bowl HELP #🍰 the cons (ha) of living in an asian household means you do not have ingredients for most mexican cuisine </3 #🍰 infinite supply of soy sauce and oyster sauce. no fuckin black beans or salsa. lmaooooo #🍰 also we collectively can't use any meats in the freezer except for sausage bacon and rarely fish fillets. we used the fish fillets.#🍰 this shit tastes like a white person made it LMAOOO its so bland and nothing 😭 im so sad but what did i expect lmao #maybe we put it back in the pan and add more spices...#🍰 ...OKAY WE FIXED IT(?) HOORAY #we just added more of every spice and also more mozzerella. this will save us surely hgkjhg

🪽: okay!! goodnight im going to leave front now, ily bye bye!! ^^!! <33 🪽: [fades away in opacity] 🔦, somehow inexplicably now fronting: ... 🔦: when the fuck did i get here...

#🔦 its like... she faded away and i was revealed on the layer underneath? and i know i was not near front before this.#🔦 what... huh...#🔦 mmmn... i am sleepy... but... we still have dishes to wash...#🍰 ...jesus hdhgkj hi???#🍰 ezi gently patted at my arm and whined so soft and pitifully that i guess im awake now 😭#🍰 hi sweetheart. i /also/ don't want to do the dishes but maybe we can make renren do it if we ask him so niceys hm?#🍰 oh? no more talking? that's okay. i'll ask ren and you give him the puppydog eyes that'll work hajksha #🔖 oh my goddd you motherfuckers are the worsttttt #🍰 gasppp how could you say that about our darling ezi look at him ren. 🥺 <- this is literally who you're bullying right now.#🍰 he's so nice and cozy on my lap and how am /i/ supposed to get up and wash the dishes when he's literally sleepy and comfy?#🔖 stop oh my goddd okay fine i'll wash the dishes but /you/ at /least/ are keeping me company @🍰#🍰 snrk you got it sweetheart~#🔖 hate you 🖕#🍰 love you tooooo [kiss] <3 #🔖 [kiss] & [kiss] @🔦#🔦 <3 #🔖 [sigh] okay. let's go.#[cavaliers courtship]

!! hungry!! food time!! :D

#🪽#💄 she is /real/ enthusiastic about fronting. hopefully that stays true for a while lmao...#💄 i dont even know why im here really? isnt your fronting partner normally bell?#🪽 ohhh i could call him but he's sleepy!! and you're here!! and i love that you're here!! :D lets go eat come on vixie!!!#💄 hahaha okay okayyy im comin~!!

em babe please stop running around everywhere, you're not even doing it irl and its makin me tired anyway 😭

#💄 just fuckin sprintin around the rec room. girl???#🥃 🎉 (they call that an em-dash~)#💄 whatre u even so excited about anyways. nothins happenin?#🪽 im just so happy and exciteddd to be alive~!!!!!#💄 christ u really do have charlie's shard huh =o= energy of a thousand souls or just two really hyperactive girls #🪽 lets go get a popsicle vix!!!#💄 that‚ i agree with

so tired...

if yall dont sleep at a reasonable time tonight im gonna be pisseddd

no promises

figures.

we should eat something

kayyyy

#we're so low energy. running on half a teaspoon and a dream #i dont even know what we're gonna eat. whatever.

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y'know im starting to think we should stop drinking soda entirely.

what makes you say that?

i'm literally calming you down from an anxiety attack as we speak.

haha yeah :)

#darling. sweetheart.#i'm fine. i'm normal :)#babe.#i'm normal :)!#alright 😭

its nice when we get those rare moments of feeling secure in our plurality. no turmoil or low thrum of denial constantly there, just pleasantly "we are multiple in a way that is different than others but everyone is unique and it doesn't change the fact that we're more than one, which automatically includes us in plurality" ☺️

#we count :) we're plural in our own unique way. its a label that helps us and we're allowed to use it!#not all of us are happy being plural and that's ok. im happy accepting ourselves even when it's hard <33!!

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