Noise = Brain pain

Through stepwork, I uncover truths about myself, and through service, I find purpose by giving back. Sponsorship, both as a sponsee and sponsor, keeps me grounded in this program. Seeking guidance reminds me to stay teachable, while working with sponsees challenges me to reflect on my own program and check if my recovery is in line with God’s will and the principles set out out in this simple program.

I’d be lucky if I get it right even 20% of the time....I guess somewhere therein lies what I keep striving for. It isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. By practicing humility (I'm often humbled by humiliation), honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness (I'm learning there are levels to this shit), I can let go of my illusions and walk God’s path, one step at a time, trusting the outcome to Him. Mistakes are part of the process, and each stumble teaches me how to be a little bit better....

"As long as we're falling forward"...

Looking back a little more than a year now, I never would have imagined finding myself here where I am today.

Addiction had taken me away from my kids, from family, became my primary relationship and I was a full time asshole constantly seeking a solution, only that I would find myself in the grip of the only one I knew - a substance, to the abandonmemt of all else! The result was the same each time - wondering how I got here? Asking the same repetitive questions like, why can't I stop? What is wrong with me? Why do I do this? Is this all my life is going to be?

Today life couldn't be anymore different. I get to see my kids, and they have a dad that shows up. I have some friends. I can live with myself and life on life's terms. Helping those such as myself and putting first things first and making it about others.

It's not always sunshine and rainbows, I miss the mark often, but getting it right 20% of the time is way better than I was 15months ago and I wouldn't trade my best days in active for my worst days in recovery!

I need God, I need my fellows and those such as myself. This program that has changed my life and an attitude of gratitude - such as finding myself in a beautiful place, soaking in what life has on offer!