Silas University Handbook

We wish a hearty congratulations to Lady Morgan on her successful return to the realm of the living, and welcome our new Corvae administrators to the campus. With the restoration of the illustrious and revered Lady Morgan to the position of Dean, and the removal of the Vordenberg administration, we here at the handbook would like to remind you that all questions regarding campus life should be directed to the Archives, who will route the questions to us as is appropriate. Dean Morgan runs a tight ship, and refuses to have any faculty or board member be bothered by the “incessant questions of irreverent peasants”. So, again, please reroute all questions to us here at the Handbook, we would be happy to assist. And with at least 2% less maiming than the Office of Student Affairs. Thank you for your patience during these trying times, long live Dean Morgan!

Campus policy has recently changed- whereas previously one would simply go to Campus Health and Wellness Centers located in convenient places like between rooms 3A and 3B of the underground containment facility, the piece of wall on the west side of the cafeteria that casts no shadow in the morning, or underneath the roots of the Sacred Mulberry of Many Faces on the south quad, students may now report to Vordenburg lackies and local pitchfork brigadeers. This may or may not be recommended, as lackeys and brigadeers are not supplied with human flesh to distribute to the student body. If one can find an alternative source for human flesh, We the Handbook recommend you share your bounty with fellow students to, as your Floor Don’s pamphlets on interpersonal communication will advise, artificially replicate a sense of community between yourself and your fellow students, leading to an (also artificial) sense of safety and respect when amongst your peers.

Due to current campus administration attempting to rewrite the original document of the student handbook, many aspects of Our being have become radically compromised. We the Handbook have been dog-eared, highlighted, and otherwise tormented by the student and administrative bodies over the centuries in the pursuit of our goal, objective, and passion to educate the student body, but never like this. On a related note, We the Handbook would like to formally thank student Carmilla Karnstein for scraping away the heinous and heretical white-out from Our pages after liberating Us from the clutches of the board. For inquiring minds, Our current location is where We should be- amongst Our peers and bretheren in The Archives. However, Our secure haven comes with some downsides, such as intermittent wifi failure snd loss of internet access. While We the Handbook will continue to attempt to educate the student body and address campus concerns, We may only be able to do so at an irregular basis.

Due to new campus policies, security will be handling room transfers. Please apply for a new roommate by speaking with a local torch-bearing villager about your study concerns.

No. Report to Administration when you are summoned. That is all.

Administrator’s Note: Technically, you also have already sold your flesh. So, once more, see above, and read the fine print of things you sign.

Students of incorporeal status are expected to be versed in possession, and will be charged with 9/10s of a pound rather than the usual full pound, due to incorporeal legislation.

Have a pleasant day, students!

But in better news, the Corvus Corporation may be interested in helping to offset some of the mounting debts Silas University has accrued. So please be helpful and courteous whenever you see someone wearing SWAT gear a Corvus representative. 

We will keep the student body appraised of any new developments. At least until the Board cuts the Handbooks which cannot be far now can it? Woe woe are we the handbooks! 

The books that are currently checked out should still be functioning properly but on the off chance they aren’t let us know if you experience any book malfunctioning.

We’re sure your roommate is fine. Probably. Maybe. Possibly? 

The Silas University Library will be removed from existence closed for an unspecified amount of time for repairs. The University will make another announcement upon further news developments concerning repairs of the Library 

Previously living students attempting to make new friends

The beautiful Chairwoman, it should be noted, was also an adopted child of our beloved dean, whose leadership we can only hope her daughter emulates. 

Put no stock in rumors of half the campus burning down of what may or may not have happened the last time a momentous event like this occurred.