Cuckcake Heaven

It’s really hard being a humiliation loving CQ.

When a girl wants to fuck your husband and tells you she could have him if she wants him, you’re torn. The humiliation side of you loves this, but the reality, makes you angry.

Maybe you know it’s not true, but the fact that she actually believes this, rubs you wrong. All the terrible situations seem sexy and ideal, until you realize she isn’t playing a part.

I learned this in one of our last experiences. Her sneaky and superior attitude were such a turn on that I let it continue, knowing it would ultimately cause actual issues. Tumblr portrayed CQ experiences are so much different than actual ones, I think they’re absolutely capable of working but the mental fortitude of the cuckquean would have to be bulletproof.

I’m thankful for all the amazing CQ tumblrs that give real advice, because I think anyone interested in this kink should know the mental capacity required. You can’t just think you aren’t jealous and setup to have your bf/husband fuck a girl without preparing yourself for the plethora of emotions you are bound to experience. And although these emotions get easier, I haven’t found them to completely go away yet. When we first started I would have mini-breakdowns, emotional fits that would erupt and made me want to scream, cry, run away. When these emotions came to a head, the storm would shift, negative emotions would dissolve into arousal. Each and every encounter I’ve experienced this, but each time the shift would come sooner than before. My last experience was almost instant, I had a slight moment of regret but before the storm could fully form clouds, I was aroused and the storm was gone.

I think it’s important to not skips steps on the ladder when you’re first starting out. Minimize these storms, but also trust your gut instinct if the feelings are persistent. The order of operations for us was:

Husband talks to girls through text

Goes and meets girl

Has sex with girl

Sex in our home, out of sight, with girl (I can only hear)

I watch him sex with girl

I participate

Although 5 & 6 happened the same night, I still had a tiny moment of uncertainty.

If I would have skipped to step 5 I probably would have had a cosmic meltdown that I would later apologize for when I realized how arousing it was. I wanted to minimize apologies and meltdowns.

It’s also okay if you don’t want to participate, I would rather just watch or listen, or have him do it elsewhere and I’m very vocal with my husband with what I’m okay with at the tjme. It’s okay to not feel ok with something, and to later feel ok and want something, and alternatively it’s ok to think your ok with something and not want to do it again. My husband is a great listener, and I act as his adviser, he knows I only have our family’s well being in mind. I can be catty, I can be unreasonable and I vocally express when i realize I am, this validates my feelings to myself, and my husband.

Expect a lot of talks. Communication is key, and admitting when you’re being unreasonable or jealous is important because being hot and cold without explanation is confusing to men. I’m still learning to let emotions simmer before making decisions. You have to give yourself time to filter out what is jealousy, anger, a bad moment, frustration, and even shock before you make big declarations. I advise my husband but I always give him the authority to do what he wants. The fact that he takes my advice and honest emotions to heart, shows me I can trust him, and that we are on the same page.

I frequently send anonymous questions to CQ bloggers for their input. These other blogs with amazing advice help me feel more grounded and less alone, I love getting their input because I realize they have been doing it longer, they have the experience and often times I tell my husband “I wish there was a big group of CQ women, we would sit down and have coffee or tea and pick each others brains and get advice that only other CQs could give”. I think it would be amazing! The psychology of a CQ still blows my own mind, and as I experience things, I’m impressed with my own mental growth. CQ women have to be so self aware, and brutally honest with our partners and ourselves, realizing and calling ourselves out. This isn’t the lifestyle for pride or anyone who has issues admitting when they’re wrong.

The truth is that being a CQ and being in that relationship can be an amazing experience, but don’t think it couldn’t ruin your relationship/marriage. If you don’t communicate and you aren’t honest, you could cause a lot of damage to yourself, and anyone else involved.

Be safe and responsible, mind your priorities, and decipher fantasy from reality. No one else is going to care about your marriage/relationship/family as much as you and your significant other/spouse. And you might happen upon that real home wrecker who will test the bonds of your marriage, and without communication you won’t be ready or even aware.

And yet it remains It’s my humiliation fantasy to find someone my husband loves to fuck behind my back, and in plain view. His heart and love will always be mine but I’d love for his dick to belong to someone else and for him to tell me such. My ultimate goal is a life of chastity, I feel like my mental capacity has upgraded to this point, and now it’s all I want.

So daddy is talking to a new girl, he gave me his phone to show me a photo he sent her, and while looking, she sent him a photo, and without thinking I yelled “WOO HOO PRETTY GIRL” and then typed and sent pretty much that without realizing it wasn’t my phone. Lol her pretty face took me by surprise!

This girl is different, aside from being beautiful, curvy and soft looking, she also seems so level headed and honest. It’s so hard for me after the last incident, but I’m having trouble not just loving her persona through texts with my husband. She reminds me of girls in high school that were so pretty that you were shocked to learn they were sweet and would tell you in the nicest way that toilet paper was stuck to your shoe, and your new glasses were cool, and 9th grade was NOT too old for hello kitty anything!

I’m also terrified, the last girl my husband met would message me in the friendliest manner, turn around and tell my husband how much better he could do.

One night my husband worked late and stopped to drop her by some coffee, he didn’t want the dinner I made at 5pm so he made ramen for himself. When she asked what he ate for dinner, and he told her Ramen, she lost her mind and even offered to make him something if he came back over. The next day when she asked me what I made I told her Taco Salad but my husband chose ramen, she acted like it was no big deal, but then went into what a terrible wife I am for letting him eat ramen.

She constantly told me how to treat my husband, don’t do this, do that, he likes this, not that. She would ask what his favorite movies or books, colors, etc and then invite him over for those things. She even tried to implant the idea that I called her job and filed a complaint on her, even though I didn’t know where she lived or worked.

The pretty girl my husband talks to now seems different and I’m completely captivated by just how amazing she seems as a person. I am an open book, I’ve been cuckqueaning for almost 15 years, in HS I would let my best friends have sex with my boyfriend while I watched finding Nemo or played Mario kart, it felt normal and fun for everyone, the humiliation took shape many years later. I wasn’t turned on my my bf and other women, I wasn’t against it, but I wasn’t turned on. Now I realize it was because I didn’t really watch, I didn’t notice his face expressions, new ones I hadn’t seen before, they could make him mutter words under his breath that he never did with me. The house could be on fire and I’m not sure he would have stopped pumping. The humiliation developed earlier this year when my husband confessed to wanting someone new, pretty, tighter.

Now it’s hard being into humiliation because sometimes terrible people come into our lives and the wife in me wants them to go away but the humiliation in me wants them to steal my husband. I have to balance them and understand their reality and mine are different. I dont really want someone to pretend to be my friend and steal my husband. I knew my husband wouldn’t go, but why would I act ok with it? Because I was living out a fantasy, but she was not, stealing him was her real objective. I’m almost embarrassed to say how much that hurt, I knew maybe she wasn’t my real friend, but her stories touched me as a woman and mother. Her hard life, though much more difficult than mine, did make me feel a connection. But after it was supposed to be over she texted my husband about fucking behind my back, when he asked her “ I thought you two were friends” she responded “ I like her, but not enough to let you go” and continued trying to set times and dates while asking me to leave my house because I deserved away time.

So as I’m slowly letting my guard down, I find myself wanting to reach out to this new pretty girl. My husband being so new to the lifestyle and me living it for half my life, I want to be sure she feels good about it, and knows I’m aware, I want her to know that I’m here if she has questions, and I’m so excited to answer them! I don’t want her to feel pressured or expected to be or do anything. I’d like to have one of those friendships that continue on, even if sex didn’t. Even in relationships or romances she could stop by for Netflix and cookies, not feel pressured, but know things could go wherever she wanted them to, sexually with my husband, me, both, or just none at all. Ladies choice.

But also that I not so secretly want to watch my husbands eyes roll back as she touches him, I’m giddy with excitement watching from afar trying so hard not to be creepy lol

But I can’t make promises because I do like to watch, I do like to feel inferior, and then I do like to be forced to leave the room. Like a little pet watching with delight, a little jealousy for both of them, but ultimately intoxicated by their body chemistry. She seems ethereal and I’m almost convinced I made her up in my subconscious to make up for our last terrible experience. Some fight club twist lol

I want to tread lightly, watch for the warnings, and be prepared to show my kitty cat claws. But there hasn’t been any warnings, and my kitty claws make small pinholes in daddy’s pants as I rest my head in his lap making little biscuits and purring to myself as he messages her. Torn between sweet and dirty thoughts, I keep them to myself, hoping in silence she’s as great as she seems. My optimistic side runs wild, my dirty girl side is rampant, and still remind myself and daddy that what she feels matters as much as what I feel. No need to rush, no expectations, just knowing her seems to make him happy, and seeing him happy and a msg here and there to reassure me she isn’t going to spit on me unless I ask, has made me happy and squirmy as well.

After tons of work I managed to convince her it was ok to come over!

She was supposed to be here at 8 or 9 but didn’t make it til 11. I was a little nervous never meeting her, my husband seemed very nervous although I was unsure why.

I tried to ease him with reassurance and I had a couple light jack & cokes for my own nerves. I teased my husband to keep him excited and occupied and he demanded that after she left I needed to wait by the front door on my knees mouth open. Excited girl, I love demanding daddy.

She got here, and almost instantly they went to the room, as it was my first in home experience in forever I thought maybe I would have my mini internal freak out.

It’s so hard to explain what happens emotionally in the re-breaking process of a cuckquean. My husband simply says “I would destroy something if I ever had to hear “ which isn’t too far from what you want to do initially. The minute the door closes and you’ve given up control, you can feel a clenching feeling around your heart, my body and face especially get hot, and I contemplate busting through the door and attacking her, but I know I was just being a wife who loves her husband.

As the almost silent whimpers and moans filled the living room, the emotional pressure causes the cuckquean to bloom, when you feel like you might have to stop, you start to enjoy. To my surprise I didn’t even get angry or sad, I honestly got a little bored. She stifled her moans and noises and even with the tv silent I could barely make out any noise at all. I remembered loud and screaming in prior experiences, being forced to watch, women being more verbal. In some ways this felt like hearing another couple in a cheap motel with paper thin walls. I actually began to watch tv.

After 45 minutes she casually strolls out and says “he’s all yours”. He walks her out and then I become excited because one thing is for sure, she does taste and smell amazing lol. Afterwards, I did my cleaning job and I got to finish, and managed to get my husband to finish once more, before laying down for sleep.

She’s 5 years younger than me (26) and I do find it mildly entertaining that she questions my kink level as if she’s teaching me something. She made a few remarks that made me laugh

“I’d like to see a video of your wife cleaning me off your dick, but I don’t think she’s about it” as I look through my treasure trove of blowjob videos my husband and I have been selling for nearly a decade I chuckle at such an innocent request. My husband snaps a photo instead and she responds through text with “choke her good” unaware that my husband used 2 hands to take the photo and had to instruct me to stop choking myself lol. I’m a hands free model that loves to humiliate myself, nobody has to choke me, as I willingly choke myself trying to force as much of him down my throat to get my one amazing treat out of the whole experience.

NOT SURE HOW TO PERSUADE HIM TO CUCK YOU?

I’ve met people who confuse the unicorn from the cuckcake.

A unicorn is a woman who actively pursues and pleases a couple. It’s primarily a threesome where the wife is sexually and actively involved.

A cuckcake is a woman who enjoys a sexual relationship with a married man. The cuckquean, wife of the married man, is not usually participatory in the sexual exchange. Sometimes she watches, sometimes she waits for her husband to return from his time with the girl.