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Listed chronologically-ish. Given that it's comics.

Early Canon / Volume 1

My Home in Your Time by @starkparade

Before Tony knows it, he's head over heels in love with Steve. Which isn't surprising, it's just a lot more complicated to want to be in a relationship with someone now. Even if he could tell Steve that he is Iron Man, there's still the stupid chestplate. Steve seems to be keeping him at arm's length anyway, and Tony can't figure out why.

Steve wakes up in the 21st century, and all he wants is to go home to his time. That's until he falls in love with Tony Stark. Unfortunately, he can't tell him how he feels. Tony deserves someone who can give him everything he wants. And that someone can't be Steve, considering he lost all erectile function as a side effect of the serum.

Set around Captain America: Man Out of Time canon which places Steve's defrosting in modern times – can't get them together any earlier than this!

Sort It Out (The Random Nomad RomCom Story) by @navaan

After he discovers that a high ranking government official is the leader of the terrorist organization known as the Secret Empire, Steve Rogers decides to give up being Captain America. (Captain America Vol. 1 #180). Now he tries to find out what else to do with himself.

Picking up a new hero identity and keeping in touch with the man he's had a bit of a crush on since he met him, leaves a lot to work out.

Fabulous fic that has a lot of fun with the canon in question!

And When the Sky Was Opened by, er, @jetskiithejester

Steve broods as the rain lashes the windows of Avengers Mansion. He knows something in his life has got to change.

Iron Man helps him figure out his options.

My fix for Captain America V1 #228, where canonically Iron Man takes an already brooding Cap outside in the rain to brood more. That doesn't work for me.

The Ninth Step by @sineala

Steve hasn't seen Tony since he was rescuing him, drunk, from a burning building. But Tony's sober now, he's at Steve's door, and he wants to make amends. Though maybe "want" isn't exactly the right word for it.

Post second drinking arc. It's pre-slash, but we know exactly where this is going. I wish we had got a glimmer of this in canon. Instead we got Armor Wars which I also love but GOOD GRIEF.

Volume 3

Down the Rabbit Hole and Straight to Wonderland by @navaan

Tony is caught in Ty Stone's Dream Vision – and it's full of innuendo and… Steves.

Or the story where Ty sends Tony down the rabbit hole of too much innuendo and objectification and he ends up with a lot of hot Steve's who inappropriate proposition him to make him stay. ♥

Based on the Iron Man Vol. 3 arc "Remote Control"

Why We Need to Talk by @navaan

After the Red Zone incident, Steve's sure he and Tony need to talk. But as always with them too many things are going down at the same time.

This really engages with how crazy the canon is at this point (and the nature of comics). Post Red Zone is a very good time for declarations of feelings.

The One Who Won’t Get Away by @navaan

They go through stages and Steve realizes that he means a lot to Tony - but even more importantly he learns to sort out why Tony is so important to him.

Grapples with V3 canon, culminating with post- Red Zone getting together.

Post Avengers Disassembled

The Past is Gone (But Something Might Be Found to Take its Place) by destroythemeek

With his apartment and life in shambles, Steve Rogers needed somewhere to stay. (Immediately post-Avengers Disassembled)

This might be the oldest fic I've read in the fandom. It's one of the few that deals with the double whammy that Wanda and the Rachel LMD do to Steve's psyche.

not gruesome, just human by @isozyme

“I need to crash on someone’s couch for a while. Your couch. I need to crash on your couch,” Tony says.

Steve’s mouth opens. If he asks why Tony’s going to bolt, he can feel the certainty of it under his sternum. He doesn’t have a sternum anymore, just a tangle of metal under his skin. Too many things have punched through it to get to his heart. There hasn’t been enough bone left to reconstruct anything made of flesh in a long time.

“There’s borscht on the stove,” Steve says.

Sometimes we need to see them get together instead of falling apart on their own.

Orbiter Dictum by schmevil

Steve is at the sink, washing the few dishes that pizza for two generates, when he realizes that Tony is in love with him.

Set in early V5 Captain America, New Avengers not formed yet. Steve's depressed but it doesn't stop him from realising a couple of things.

New Avengers

If You Want A Life Of Action by runningondreams

Steve wants to start up the Avengers again, and it’s not like Tony can tell him no. There's a lot to do after the Raft breakout, after all: The new team needs work, villains need catching and there’s a missing superhero to find. And that’s not even counting his work on the armor, his projects for SI, or making sure Steve doesn’t disappear to sulk endlessly in his apartment. When they start trying to add romance to the mix it’s really a miracle things go so well for so long.

Really taps into the insanity of this time in canon. Plot keeps happening to them!

Civil War

the same conversation by @dirigibleplumbing

Steve agrees to meet Tony in the ruins of Avengers Mansion. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s not this: Steve’s armor overrides still work. And after he uses them, Tony assumes that Steve is here to kill him. And it seems like—despite the new perspective this information gives Steve—they’re still cycling through the same arguments as ever.

Perfect title for this amazing Casualties of War fic that leaves you feeling hopeful.

Moving to the Sun by @sineala

When Steve agreed to meet Tony at the mansion to talk, he never imagined that Tony would abandon Registration and join him. He never imagined that Tony would end up in bed with him, either.

Casualties of War is one of those moments where I love to see it tip into something else. And this one is wonderful.

I read a lot of Civil War fan fic. A lot of it is sad, or bittersweet. I could have sworn I had more to recommend but apparently not!

Volume 4

Wonders of the World (The Keep Me Safe from Harm Remix) by @sineala

Steve, America's top cop, meets Tony, in the middle of launching Resilient, in a hotel room in Seattle. There, Steve finds unexpected comfort in Tony's presence. It wasn't supposed to be an assignation. But then, a snowstorm wasn't supposed to strand them together, either.

Set before Steve finds out about the Illuminati and Fear Itself. They're snowed in.

These Cold Nights by Captain_Al

Not long after the Serpent's attack, Steve and Tony find themselves stranded together in Chicago during a snow storm. With all of the fall out from the attack still hanging over them, the snowstorm could be the least of their worries.

Post Fear Itself, Steve and Tony take comfort in each other. They're snowed in. Yes.

Peace of Mind by @sineala

Steve has picked up his shield again, left the Secret Avengers, and rejoined the main Avengers team at Tony's side. He is, in fact, literally at Tony's side, as he finds Tony suffering from a migraine and takes care of him. After their many disagreements, Steve is grateful for the chance for the two of them to be friends again, with no secrets between them. But if there aren't secrets anymore, then how in the world did Steve not know Tony has gotten migraines since childhood?

Post Infinity Gem stuff, post Fear Itself. Steve's struggling with what went down while he was America's Top Cop, finds solace in this hurt/comfort fic.

The Single Biggest Problem With Communication by @blossomsinthemist

In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.

Writing this post reminded me I urgently need to reread this!

Too perfect not to end the world by @navaan

After Tony comes back from Mandarin City Steve had too much time to think about him and things between them. And it's time for things between them to change.

Post Fear Itself and some Matt Fraction comics you absolutely cannot force me to read.

I Could Be Your Bad Boy by @sadisticsparkle

Steve needs information.

Batroc has that information. His only request? A blowjob.

Thank God Steve's good pal Tony Stark is mission control and can give very, very good instructions.

One Night In Madripoor! Okay, you might need to squint for the getting together, but it's so on. Tony should send Batroc flowers. Okay, maybe that would be inappropriate.

We’re not broken, so please come home by IronSwordStarShield

“What I’m saying is,” Tony says when he catches her puzzled look. “I don’t know what could happen. Just because we don’t want to talk to each other now doesn’t mean that’s how it’s going to be forever. Who knows. Something might happen that’ll get us talking and we’ll be back at where we were. Maybe even better friends.”

Tony’s words are like a ray of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds. In fact, a particular part of his statement sparks an idea. If the whole issue because Tony and Steve can be solved if they talk, then maybe all someone has to do is create a situation where they can talk, right?

--

Kamala has a plan. It is called “Operation Make Tony and Steve Friends Again" and it'll work. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully…

An All-New All Different Avengers fic! While the author admits it's not that canon compliant, this is a wonderful time in canon for reconciliation and getting together for the first time. There is a LOT of talking in this one, it takes them time. It absolutely hinges on them making up first.

Volume 5

The Fall and the Rise by @sineala

After the Great Society incursion, the Illuminati refuse to destroy another world. When the next incursion looms, they go to await their deaths in peace. Tony ends up on the doorstep of the last man who ever wanted to see him. At least he's going to die at Steve's side.

An unlikely set up for a get together. And yet...

Volume 8

Spill into my hands by @viudanegraaa

As always, a flirt. “It’s nice to see you, Tony,” he said. Tony smiled. “You, too, Cap,” he said.

(Thor, Steve, and Tony agree to restart the Avengers. All is going well until there's a misunderstanding and Steve has to come to terms with the feelings he has for Tony and what they'll mean for them, and the team, going forward.)

Getting the team back together is such a great point for them to get together, I can never resist it!

When Trouble Came by @sineala

After the defeat of the Progenitor, Tony is surprised to find that Steve has changed his mind and would now like to take him up on his offer to relax in the hot springs. Steve, more depressed than Tony has ever seen him, would like to compare notes on their respective judgments and find out how Tony's been doing in his newly-sober life. He'd also like to reveal a few long-held secrets about his feelings for Tony -- and there's more than one surprise here.

Big talk about All The Canon. But firmly set post AXE Judgement Day.

West Coast Avengers Vol. 4

Properly Losing It in the Stars by @rivalshell

The West Coast Avengers are back in action, revived by Tony and Rhodey! This time, though, they're going for something a bit different - rehabilitating former villains! Their most controversial recruit? A splinter of Ultron who genuinely wants to be good.

It's... not going well. The Kobik and Hydra-created Captain America, now going by the name Flag-Smasher, is running around causing havoc, and one of Ultron's counterparts isn't doing him any favors with the superhero community by starting a creepy religious cult and preying on LA's unhoused population.

When Tony calls in asking Steve for a favor right after Sharon breaks it off with him for the final time, he gladly flies out west to support Tony in his efforts to do something they both agree on.

Steve keeps his feelings on all of it buried in journals and notebooks - always has, always will. When his new journal goes missing, what began as a supportive visit quickly spirals into confronting years and years of buried feelings threatening to boil over.