to my ever girl

I miss you with a pain that has only gotten worse for the past sixteen months, and I know the pain will only become more intense and visceral, maybe to a place from which I can never return.

Every sinew of my being pulsates with the constant, violent, devastating scream of your absence.

You remain the best thing that ever happened to me and my one true love.

I miss you so much and I cry every fucking day, and I'm just some fucking broke loser who you hate and I've never done anything other than love you. I really don't know how much longer I can carry on.

I'm not ashamed of how much I will always love you. But I am ashamed when my sadness bubbles over, and always so fucking publicly.

And through my fucking band account too.

Consider this an acknowledgement and an apology.

Just waiting to die as that will be the only way I'll ever be able to forget you amd how you made me feel.