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@sick-as-a-dog

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the fact that people can see me makes me kinda uncomfortable at times
Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."
you know what? i fucking hate the idea of "my trauma sucked, but at least it made me a kinder person!"
because no it didnt.
I made me a kinder person. i had to fucking WORK to be even somewhat tolerable. i am the way that i am in spite of my trauma, my trauma gets none of the credit for any of the good things that i can bring into this world, and quite frankly i mourn the type of person i wouldve been had that trauma not taken place.
i may be kind, but i couldve been so much kinder.
kindness was something that i had to learn. it was something i had to strive to achieve. it was not something naturally given to me due to being traumatized repeatedly.
my trauma did not make me who i am.
Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice, July 1, 1913

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fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
"dni" then its a list of disorders people cant control
murder isn't okay however sometimes your friends have REALLY bad parents
Saying "no" is allowed, saying "no" is important, no matter how someone might react, it's not your job to make everyone happy and go along with every wish people have. Be ok with telling people no.
Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.

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Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell
the thing about growing up with siblings in an abusive household is that ultimately you're each other's jail wardens and whipping boys and that does things to you no matter how much you sincerely love each other and understand why it happened the way it did and wish you could have been big and strong enough to save both of you
it's just inevitably going to be difficult to reconcile the love you feel for the other half of a bear trap clamped around both your legs. is the thing.
“my friend is ALWAYS sick and cancelling our plans” it sounds like your friends life suuucks and you should check on them

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i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary
does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it
I'm glad everyone is alive rn