BLIND LOVE

Alright so listen up girls and boys with bleeding nether regions:

Buy Always Infinity with Flexfoam. Buy nothing else. Buy Always Infinite with Flexfoam.

This sexy beast. There’s a bunch of versions. But so long as it says Infinity and Flexfoam, fucking GET IT.

So I’ve always been a fan of Always pads. Can’t stand tampons because of all the horror stories and in general, they’re uncomfortable. Always just seems to be the brand that’s always there so we always got it.

Every since Always released their Infinity brand, we’ve literally hated everything else. Even the regular versions of Always. Infinity is the way to go. It is the ONLY way to go.

Infinity is like the only way we can keep our damn bedsheets and clothes bloodless. The first night I got my period I woke up with my boxers just soaked. Completely soaked. Blood. Everywhere.

So I just pop into the bathroom and thus far we’ve only got regular Always pads. Put one on. It’s about as miserable as you’d expect. The pad shifts as you sit and move and when you change pads you’re probably changing underwear too because of the blood just seeping out the sides and getting everywhere.

But then we have Always Infinity. With the Flexfoam. You know that bullshit on the side of the box brands spew where they’re like THIS SUPER INGENIOUS INVENTION WITH A FANCY NAME IS GOING TO GIVE YOU PRISTINE CLEANLINESS AND ULTIMATE PROTECTION AND THATS WHY WE USE FLEXFOAM.

They’re not fucking kidding guys. This isn’t a fucking game. These pads are relentless. No blood gets by. You’d probably have to unhygenically use one pad 24 hours+ before the blood will actually leave the pad and get anywhere.

In addition to that? It’s invisible.

Okay look, guys. I’m trans. I’m a transman. I’m a fucking dude. I don’t suffer from dysphoria but nothing annoys and irritates me more than knowing I am wearing a fucking diaper because I can feel it everytime I move and stand and sit down.

Not these bitches. No fucking way. They’re thin, they’re super big and they’re completely inmovable. I don’t have to keep grabbing at my crotch or my ass to readjust the pad lest blood be splashing everywhere. It stays in one fucking place and it doesn’t leave until you rip it out yourself.

have you tried yoga

yes? okay what about pilates

have you tried eating food that you cant afford

why don’t you get a job

do you sleep enough/too much

try sleeping better

have you considered Normal people’s feelings

have you considered becoming Normal like us

i think that would help

here i printed out this article on deep breathing from a Women’s online magazine, it helped my coworker who was sad one time

©  Welcome To Night Vale 

WHY ARE WE NOT CONTINUING THIS

If I want a donut I’m gonna go get a donut

Loaded baked potato? Yes please.