I'll always have more work to do...

The reason you feel like shit after a long sleep is dehydration.

If you want a super long Victory Nap that doesn't make you feel like shit, here's your game plan:

1) eat. If you're prone to stomach problems or heartburn, make sure you're eating something you can sleep on.

2) drink. NO ALCOHOL (it makes sleep worse and also dehydrates you). Steer clear of soda pop, tea, and coffee; a non-caffeinated electrolyte drink is best. You want 12-16oz of liquid--about a big coffee cup's worth. I like to do a glass of water and a cup of herbal tea.

3) take a dose of melatonin. If you live in a country where it's prescription only, get a prescription. Please do not ask me to solve this problem for you. I'm American and get my melatonin at the grocery store. I CANNOT HELP YOU.

(3a. If you're one of those people where melatonin does nothing, try Benadryl.)

4) make your bed. Doesn't have to be fancy. Just make everything nice and not-tangled.

5) by now you should have to pee. Do that.

6) set an alarm for nine hours. Go to bed.

7) when you wake up, go to the bathroom. Do not use your phone.

8) go have a snack and a glass of water. Do Not Use Your Phone.

9) take another melatonin. DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE!

(It's because phone screens give off blue light and it cues your brain to go "oh, not sleepy time anymore.")

10) go back to bed. Set an alarm for nine hours.

11) while you wait for the melatonin to kick in, take a nice big luxurious stretch and just kind of notice where everything is. Settle all your bits and pieces into the mattress. Snuggle your pillow. Give your body lots of "time to sleep" cues. It may take a little bit to fall back asleep. That's fine. Don't stress over it--it'll keep you awake. Just let your brain go empty and sleep will come.

12) when you wake up, use the bathroom. Have another drink and snack.

13) go back to bed. Do not take a melatonin. Set your alarm for an hour.

14) you probably won't go back to sleep. That's fine. Relax your eyes, enjoy letting yourself get dozy and then wake up more slowly and naturally.

Do not skip steps. This is a method I've arrived at for post-trip relaxation through lots of trial and error. It's all here for a reason.