Yaoi Delusion

Committed, I’m Committed To You

This a gorgeous. I want someone to break down the significance, because it’s beautiful. I read somewhere that it’s a goddess of protection. Can anyone confirm?

Either way, there in its glory, is Doumeki’s full stretch of back.

CHAPTER 52 SPOILERS WITH MORE TOUCHING.

Spoilers are afoot. I haven’t seen any pics yet but I am at work so I can only look so much. I have gotten the general idea from my fellow doll wranglers.

First, chapter 53 is slated for July 31!! WITH THE COVER!!!!

Now here’s what I have heard.

EDIT: Not soft sex, but rough DarkMeki style (STILL been 84 years) this chapter is the reverse of 25. There is cuddling so I’m told.

I am also told they do it so much that Yashiro faints!!!

We see Doumeki in full view!!

We see his tattoo. There is a woman on his back. See:

In the box beside the bed is A CONTACT LENS CASE

(STOP SCREAMING I CAN HEAR YOU FROM HERE!!!)

Yashiro thinks it might be mama’s or maybe Doumeki’s but he doesn’t get to look closer at it and because he doesn’t want to be obvious about handling it. 🫨

They don’t get interrupted!!! The pests only show up later. But apparently they are spooning in bed BUT I NEED PROOF OF THIS!!!

BRING ON THE GOODIES!!!!

EDIT:

Doumeki: You came fast (paraphrasing)

Yashiro/Doumeki mix??: Ha, haaa, haaaa

Doumeki: You really like sex, huh?

Sex with DarkMeki is:

I was wondering if you are planning to release chapter 51 ?

Thank you so much for all your hard work, it does not go unapperciated by the fandom !

Spoilers are afoot. I haven’t seen any pics yet but I am at work so I can only look so much. I have gotten the general idea from my fellow doll wranglers.

First, chapter 53 is slated for July 31!! WITH THE COVER!!!!

Now here’s what I have heard.

There is soft loving sex happening. (It’s been 84 years) this chapter is the reverse of 25. There is cuddling so I’m told.

I am also told they do it so much that Yashiro faints!!!

We see Doumeki in full view!!

We see his tattoo. There is a woman on his back. See:

In the box beside the bed is A CONTACT LENS CASE

(STOP SCREAMING I CAN HEAR YOU FROM HERE!!!)

Yashiro thinks it might be mama’s or maybe Doumeki’s but he doesn’t get to look closer at it and because he doesn’t want to be obvious about handling it. 🫨

They don’t get interrupted!!! The pests only show up later. But apparently they are spooning in bed BUT I NEED PROOF OF THIS!!!

BRING ON THE GOODIES!!!!

EDIT:

Doumek: You came fast (paraphrasing)

Yashiro: Ha, haaa, haaaa

Doumeki: You really like sex, huh?

Sex with DarkMeki is:

We are mere days away from Chapter 52! Spoilers are afoot! And soon they will be flooding our TL's with lovely images from our favorite mangaka!

Thank you to the tireless Team Steve! You have moved houses! You have moved countries! And you still pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, tightened your belts and cranked out a chapter! You are the glitter in my stars, the sunshine in my heart, and the rubber on my soles. Get some rest, if the teaser is any indication, we are going to need it!!!

Thank you as always to the Saezuru Fandom! This is a short chapter, and I almost considered just adding it 52, but...NAHHHHHHH!

Many Chookens died to bring you this chapter...

RIP Fandom, you were one of the good ones!

PRESENTING THE FIRST CHAPTER IN VOLUME 9!!!! WE ARE HERE!!!

-Yashiro and Doumeki finally have sex! It's rougher than chapter 25 but for a few moments there's some wild passion and it's clear they're still in love with each other.

-Doumeki is shirtless, and you see the the glorious back tattoo several times.

-Doumeki blows Yashiro and there's another kiss! He preps Yashiro a lot and there's this point where Yahiro looks over his shoulder at Doumeki with the most vulnerable face and Doumeki's brain goes briefly offline. Mine did too.

-Once Doumeki is inside, Yashiro is overwhelmed with pleasure, he's trembling with his hand over his mouth. Doumeki also LIFTS YASHIRO and puts him on the bed.

-They do it until Yashiro passes out. When he wakes up he can barely stand and Doumeki has to help him.

THE CONTRAST

SUMMARY COMPILATION OF CHAPTER 50 by Lyuba (Twitter: @lethereberock66)

It all starts with the spoiler they already gave us

Y: Get off me

Y: I said I was going to sleep

D: You chose me because you wanted this

Y: Don't get me wrong. I said it was okay with you. I didn't say you were good enough.

Y Kamiya doesn't look promising for this

Doumeki looks at him with sad eyes to which Yashiro replied and starts to take off his gloves to undress Yashiro.

Y: that's why it's okay don't touch me.

Yashiro resists but right away Doumeki grabs Yashiro's penis that has a boner after he fingered his butthole.

D: You just did it with Inami and she's already like this? Your body really can't help it

Y: You say that a lot even though you're the one doing this to me.

Yashiro actually what he means by "you're doing this" is that Yashiro's body only reacts like this when Doumeki touches him.

Then Doumeki sees the marks on the wrists from when Inami tied him to Yashiro and realizes what they were doing.

Doumeki says to him

As expected, you like this kind of thing referring to the be tied up.

Y: "It pisses me off... all those know-it-all lines....

D: I know you, to some extent I know you.

Doumeki takes off his tie and ties Yashiro's hands with it by his head.

Y: Hey, there's no need for this

D: Why do you refuse to do it with me? Do you like to be treated like this? Or do you want me to be kind to you?

Yashiro can't answer him and just lets Doumeki touch him until he ejaculates.

D: I didn't even have to touch it (refering to his dick) for you to end up like this.

Yashiro then just thinks about what Doumeki asked him before if he wants to be kind to him and answers himself in his thoughts.

“Well, that is what I once wanted”

As he remembers that moment when he lay down on Doumeki's legs from the past.

In the morning of the next day Nanahara arrives and is surprised to see Doumeki there, Doumeki explains to him that the Doshinkai was also involved in this problem and that's why he is there, although Nanahara pretends not to know anything of what he is talking about since Yashiro hasn't informed him anything of what is happening and says to himself "Am I that untrustworthy?"

Then Nanahara begins to suspect that between Doumeki and Yashiro something happened last night and asks him

N: The president?

D: He is sleeping

N: Hey don't tell me that...

D: If you mean sex, no, we didn't do it

Yashiro wakes up and says

Y: Why did you come nanahara

Y: I hope you found Yamakawa

But then out of nowhere Yashiro comes out of his bed naked and Nanahara turns red all over.

Nanahara: You really did it!!!

Yashiro: "I didn't do it, you idiot!"

But nanahara is still suspicious and thinks “I’m sure they did it”

Then Doumeki gets ready to leave and Yashiro asks. Where are you going?

D: I’ll be out a while. In the meantime I'll call Kamiya-san.

However in the end they all leave the building and go to the bar.

They run into mama san she is surprised and calls Doumeki as “Chikara” and asks who are these people?

Nanahara thinks: It's the Mama of the bar.

Then they tell her that they are guests of the group and she lets them in saying that Kamiya was already inside.

Once inside Mama san tells them that yesterday some guys went to the bar and they were very arrogant even with the girls who work there.

Doumeki asks mama san

“Why didn't you call me?”

Mama san answers him

"because a Guy form the group told me you were bussy with something else"

Then douemki tells her

"I'll run as fast as I can if you need me so please call me"

Mama san then tells him that after that 3 million yen of sales disappeared.

Doumeki asks

“He said they were from Okuyama gumi?”

Mama san replies

“He didn't say so explicitly, but they used to use this place, and they talked like they knew me.”

Apparently this was the Okuyama group's doing.

After that they all leave the bar and suddenly mama san appears and says

“Chikara wait”

Doumeki approaches her to talk while Kamiya, Yashiro and Nanahara stay behind and Yashiro looks at the way Doumeki is talking to mama san.

N: I heard that Doumeki and Mama-san are together.

Y: ehh...

K: How do you know that?

N: Your subordinate told me he's going to her house.

Then the 4 of them go out to eat meat in a restaurant and here they start talking about the incident, apparently Doumeki already knows that there is a woman inside the club who is with the Okuyama-gumi and helped them to steal.

Kamiya says : You knew that and you didn't tell me?

Doumeki replies : That would only make her even more uneasy (talking about how he didn't say it so as not to scare mama-san more)

Kamiya replies

“You are so kind to women…”

And Doumeki says

“I intend to be kind to Kamiya-san, too”

Kamiya replies: Liar

Yashiro after listening to that conversation remembers from the previous night when Doumeki asks him

Or do you want me to be kind to you?"

At that moment Yashiro gets up and says he is going to the bathroom but he leaves the restaurant and goes to where Kido is hiding.

They greet each other and Kido asks “Why did you come?”

Yashiro answers “What do you think?”

“I came to visit you”

Surprised Kido says

---What kind of game are you playing?

Yashiro laughs and says

You've got a funny way of saying things.

Yashiro starts to give Kido a blowjob and says

"Go ahead, fuck me. Just like the old days." “I’m in a hurry”

Kido: "You don't even have a boner, what's the urgency?

Then the blowjobs intensifies and

Kido says to Yashiro

“You like being treated like an object, don't you? I want the other guys to see you like this.”

But then Doumeki's hand appears out of nowhere and grabs Kido from behind and throws him against the wall.

Then Yashiro looks back and saw Doumeki's furious and immediately grabs his arm and takes him away.

Yashiro thinks surpirsed :

A face that i never seen. Immense strenght. A voice that doesn't hide its anger.

But then Doumeki just says:

Are you satisfied if I violate you? Doumeki uses here 犯せば (okaseba) meaning to rape; to violate; to ravish.

The main theme, the emotion that drives most of the action in Saezuru Chapter 50, is jealousy. 

Before I start rambling, I want to point out the big takeaway here: If Doumeki and Yashiro didn’t have feelings for each other then they wouldn’t be jealous. They’re jealous because they care…but hoboy that jealousy makes them both possessive and wild. And that’s why we have all kinds of action in Chapter 50.

Let’s begin with the title page: it smacks of possession, Doumeki reaching out to grasp Yashiro’s throat but not quite connecting. To me, it symbolizes Doumeki wanting to control Yashiro, hold him close, hold him down, but he can’t quite do it because Yashiro is like a feral cat. The phrase is “Everything is about to break.” And that is soooo significant for many reasons: back in chapter 25, Yashiro begged Doumeki not to break him and Doumeki said he wouldn’t - he would never break Yashiro - but he hasn’t keep his word. Because Doumeki did break Yashiro, he ruined him for all other men to the point that Yashiro is currently impotent, and his body only reacts to Doumeki. Also, “don’t break me” is Yashiro asking for Doumeki to not be so gentle because it will break down the walls Yashiro has built around his psyche, the walls that block off his childhood abuse and the torrent of emotions he’s been holding back forever. The tender way Doumeki treated him in chapter 25 put a crack in those walls but with the Hirata situation and the timeskip Yashiro was able to keep running, to try and cope the way he used to, even if it wasn’t working and the cracks began to spider out. Once Doumeki reentered his life those cracks became bigger and bigger, because Doumeki won’t let Yashiro run to others and cope. He’s possessive, he keeps manhandling Yashiro and dragging him around, not letting him be Volume One Yashiro. In Doumeki’s eyes, Yashiro hasn’t changed. He’s still lascivious, promiscuous, dealing with dangerous people and acting out.

But parts of Doumeki have changed. The fog of his family trauma and prison life has left him. He’s stronger now, the sharpness he had before the timeskip has been honed to a fine point and he now has a powerful sense of self. Like I said in my last meta, Doumeki is an asset and he’s not going to stand by and watch like he did in chapter 2, he’s going to try and control Yashiro, break his walls down, break them apart.

Chapter 50 starts off where Chapter 49 ended: with Doumeki looming over Yashiro in bed. There’s a lot of give and take. Doumeki notices marks on Yashiro’s arms that Inami left behind and we all know that Doumeki is jealous of Inami. He is insistent on taking Yashiro away from him and makes little passive aggressive remarks about Yashiro’s relationship with that scumbag. From there he seductively takes off his tie just like he did with his glove in chapter 46 (like seriously Doumeki who taught you how to striptease?) And he attempts to tie Yashiro up with it, thinking that Yashiro still likes it rough but when Yashiro halfheartedly resists thinks…maybe he wants it gentle? 

That sparks Yashiro’s memory and he recalls the time he slept in Doumeki’s lap in chapter one, thinking that he did want gentleness at some point. But, of course, Yashiro doesn’t give Doumeki a straight answer because - well - he never does so Doumeki gives him three fingers.

I’d like to point out that Yashiro – who is super impotent – comes like crazy from the fingering alone which is further proof that Doumeki does it for him. Yashiro is 90% undressed by the end but Doumeki only lost the tie and gloves DAMMIT I was hoping for a back reveal I’m still wondering if he has a tattoo. 

SIGH I guess we’ll have to wait.

I’m not sure if Nanahara shows up later or the next morning but he knocks on Yashiro’s door. When Doumeki answers it, Nanahara’s face is pure gold 

and he wants to know what Doumeki is doing there but gets distracted because Yashiro just casually strolls out naked into the living room like he owns the place.

Um, well, technically HE DOES OWN THE PLACE but that panel is exactly why I love My Flawless Son. I can only hope to give exactly zero fucks like that. I especially love how he reads the paper while Nanahara is having a heart attack. Anyway, Nanahara is like WHAT DID YOU TWO DO???? They tell him they didn’t sleep together but Nanahara ain’t really buying it.

They end up talking about yakuza drama for a bit and then Nanahara, Yashiro, and Doumeki take a little drive. Their first stop is the Club Madam’s place where Kamiya is chillin (Nanahara’s face is gold here too, he should never play poker.)

Apparently, money was stolen from her business and she’s pretty sure that it’s because of Okuyama’s group. Doumeki has a suspect in mind but he isn’t letting on yet…and I wonder if it’s the woman who he visited in chapter 47. Club Madam acts very friendly and familiar with Doumeki, calling him Chikara (look how sexily he looms over her I would pass out) but as far as I know there isn’t anything between them. Doumeki always turns the women down at bars and soaplands when he’s out with Kamiya, and both Kamiya and Tsunakawa comment on it, so I think they’re friends and they provide each other with information. Now, Yashiro believes that Doumeki does have a woman from their heated interaction back in chapter 46; when asked, Doumeki gave Yashiro a sarcastic answer about it that Yashiro took seriously. So when Nanahara says something about Doumeki and Club Madam to further Yashiro’s suspicions, Yashiro gets JEALOUS. I mean, look at that expression! 

We haven’t seen a jealous Yashiro since chapter 6, when Doumeki was hanging out with Kuga.

And why is Yashiro jealous? Because he’s in looooove.

But we all know that Yashiro still can’t process his emotions well. Especially emotions that have to do with Doumeki. So after Club Madam’s place, the four of them go out to eat like it’s some kind of double date asjlhalhs and when Doumeki mentions something about treating women gently, Yashiro mind goes back to the beginning of the chapter - where Doumeki offered to be gentle to him - and it scrambles. All confused and upset and not really knowing why or how to deal, Yashiro excuses himself to “go to the restroom” when he actually fucks off and goes to where Kido is hiding. Him and Kido used to have a thing (no surprise there) so Yashiro shows up, asks Kido to assault him in a very desperate way, and starts blowing him. It gets pretty wild but Yashiro can’t get it up, which Kido comments on like WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS.

But why Kido? Yashiro could pick up any man he wanted. Most likely it was to piss off Doumeki in some misguided way of making him jealous, so he would feel how Yashiro feels, instead of, you know, TALKING THINGS OUT.  

But before Kido can even say another word, a black-gloved hand grabs the back of his shirt and Doumeki tosses him aside. It’s interesting how Doumeki knew exactly what Yashiro was up to; like I’ve been saying, he’s super sharp now. I wonder if he followed him from the restaurant and I also wonder if he heard Kido’s comment about Yashiro’s impotence asdkajdhagsk.

Yashiro looks pretty remorseful and I think he actually feels badly about what he did because Doumeki is ripping pissed. Once again, Doumeki drags Yashiro away (as he has done in several chapters now, back to the possession. And back to jealousy.) 

A sexy source on twitter told me that Yashiro’s thinking about Doumeki and his rage as: “a face i’ve never seen. insane strength. unconcealed anger in his voice.”

And why wouldn’t Doumeki be furious? He’s asked Yashiro not to fuck around and Yashiro is like “nope, I’m still going to try and do it with Inami and also with your group’s prisoner.” Which sooo complicates things on yakuza and emotional levels.

And as Doumeki drags Yashiro away he asks “would you be happy if I assaulted you?” because he knows that Yashiro is just randomly choosing people and he’s so tired of it. Doumeki wants to be the one. The one to possess, the one to control, the one to bring all those hidden emotions out of Yashiro - he always has. The love he felt from the moment he saw Yashiro in that doorway has only grown. It’s been over four years and he won’t leave the yakuza world because Yashiro is still in it. He won’t let Yashiro give himself to anyone anymore. And he’s pushing Yashiro until the walls crack wide open and he breaks so he can be the one to pick up the pieces.

This is the last chapter of volume 8 and Yoneda Kou usually takes a 4 month hiatus in between volumes, which is consistent with the fact that she’s not listed for the next ihrHertz in Jan 2023, so we will be waiting until March for chapter 51.

Until then, here is a song that sums up Yashiro and Doumeki’s feelings during this chapter:  Pet Shop Boys - Jealousy

"A face I couldn't see, insane strength, a voice that doesn't conceal its anger,"

On chapter 40, Yashiro couldn't see Doumeki's face, his arm grabbed by Doumeki, Doumeki's voice sounds caring and gentle, yet Yashiro brush him off and runaway.