I'm a Shudanshi now I guess. Hello, this is TheTacticianMagician from Ao3 and I am here to let my mind run free about my ninisani brainrot. Blog is set to unsearchable. If you haven't read my fics, things might not make a lot of sense. he/him, call me Robin or Raptorous if you want.
Writer blog for Nijisanji EN fancontent. Mostly nsfw.
Click the readmore to see a little brief overview about this blog; important if you have sensitivities to certain content.
This little corner is for Reasonable Adults who can distinguish fiction from reality. I do not welcome people who want to cause trouble, be it towards the 🅱️tubers or towards fellow fandom members. I will place descriptors and/or content warnings on posts so you can blacklist or skip them in case they have content you don't want to read (and I encourage ask-ers to do the same). Ships are also always placed at the start so you can skip them easily as well. I have no shipping restrictions for these characters.
The blog is set to be non-searchable and my tag use is constructed in such a way as to be away from main tags and a within-blog tool only, so that random people can't just stumble here, including the livers themselves. I hope that me putting this care into stuff already means tunglr won't bonk me for not wanting to community-label my posts yet.
I don't really get into heavier content like outright noncon or gore, I have the emotional strength of a wet napkin, but I might bring up other concepts people may take issues with such as sibling incest/pseudo-incest and nonhuman genitals/shapeshifting. And also the rare-in-this-fandom m/f ships. If that puts you off reading any of my stuff entirely, that's fine.
That said, for anyone who enjoys my writing, wants to see more headcanons, ask about my plans, or are curious about how I'd visualize certain scenarios, I hope this is a good ride!
I haven't really used tumblr in like 6 years so some new features may still boggle me. I will also edit this post over time as needed.
note: Asks are open for discussion, but not for fic requests. I already post a lot of writing for free, and I'm unemployed, and unfortunately We Live In A Society. Actual custom fics have to be commissioned.
note2: I'm currently not planning to add waves beyond Noctyx to my writing, 20 members is enough of a headache already, so hopefully no one gets confused with the emojis I use. The more waves are added, the less I know about them tbh
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At first, I had wanted to hold off on sharing this draft properly because I thought I might be able to pick it back up someday. I'm not so sure about that anymore, chief. Most of this writing was carried out in 2022, simultaneous to some of the actual individual smut scenes.
The plot of this is explained in summation on the prologue of Lustsick. This is what was meant to be named "Lustsick", while the Shu x everyone **part would be named "Loveful" (to play around with the usual wordings of "lovesick" and "lustful"). "Lustsick" as a title would match the harrowing encroaching of a continuous ailment only solvable through repeated sex, while "Loveful" would be about the healing and fun after all the problems are settled and he gets used to it. (apparently the Shu/all dynamic is called "shubowl" as winterswaves on ao3 informed me which is so cute wth)
As a whole, this is hurt/comfort, and is a lot less cozy than the writings later in the story timeline that are posted to Ao3. There's less actual smut here despite the sexual themes and there are some comfy and heartwarming sections but plenty of it goes into angst. Shu is not happy about turning into an incubus. There are themes like self-loathing, anxiety, PTSD, dissociation, self-harm/neglect, just a doozy of mental health things– and part of why I couldn't continue writing it is because I was not handling all that heavy stuff well. (the other part of why is because it's a huge undertaking with a timeline that needs to be well thought-out as well as the participation of various characters, making a complex web, and so many details to ensure the plot works,,)
Since it's a draft, a lot of plot is missing, but a good chunk of the context and context clues are there. I typed some explanations to help as well. I did wanna share at least some parts of this in the end because I really like some of these scenes/lines/situations. Like a lot. Brainhooks for me. They're what got me wanting to put a whole ass proper plot around them ksjdnfjkdfg
Aside from Shu, the present plot has more of a focus on Ike, Elira, Uki and Pomu. There's a number of things I would have planned or written differently, but again, this is mostly 2-years-old writing. I'm sorry about how confusing it is with all the missing chunks of writing. My way of planning-writing is super unoptimal and it kicks my own ass too. I'm open to any questions for the curious souls.
*note: the chapter division would likely not stay the way it’s presented here either.
*also important! This is large for a single post. It's upwards of 16k words. Be ready for big scroll. ( ˴◅ˋ)੭
There were times when New Years, on Earth, would be miserable. Or even when they weren't, they'd still reek with doubt and uncertainty, powered through with optimism that at times felt empty.
But last year was a huge shift– and by this one, true hope and positivity were well-consolidated.
Between Luxiem's first year anniversary and the New Years get-together with the rest of their branch, Shu felt happy.
He's exhausted, absolutely exhausted, but in the best way possible. His heart brimmed with gratitude and joy, full and warm, the voices of his friends from the recent collab still echoing in his mind– all their laughter, their positive words that embraced him in much the same way their arms had when they were all together at the year's turn.
It had gotten so much better. From spending it utterly alone, to typing "happy new year everyone c:" under fake names, to hearing his friends' voices shout it out over setups of questionable quality, to hearing their voices with better quality while knowing more about them, to sharing their experiences with an audience, to doing so with more new friends and a much bigger audience, to experiencing it in a locale packed with comrades– hearing and seeing and touching them in real time, sincere and unabashedly themselves, not having to hide their otherworldly features or names or abilities.
And that was a few days ago, and there are a few memories about it that make his heart beat a little quicker, but he doesn't let his thoughts dwell on them.
It is in this context, among counted blessings, that he first sees it.
After a tired shower, lips still quirked up over dumb jokes his friends had cracked nary an hour back, Shu notices something amiss. He catches the color under dim light, and he's not the type to ever just look at himself naked, but the mirror beckons him with that odd novel detail.
It's low, lower than his stomach and higher than his crotch. It's shaped like an intricate heart tattoo, and it glows an ever so faint pink.
He's a studied sorcerer, he is aware of what this might be. Of what it could perhaps mean.
But the very idea is preposterous. Nonsensical. Illogical.
So he ignores it.
But on the first night after the find, he dreams of kissing. Who, he cannot remember. Still, he wakes up flushed and touches magenta claws to his lips.
On the second night, he dreams of sweet voices, cute voices, sultry voices. They could be new, they could be memories. He wakes up with a quick-beating heart.
On the third night, he dreams of touches. He shifts and shuffles in bed, phantom hands roaming the body of his dream self. He wakes up with his underwear feeling a bit too tight.
On the fourth night, he dreams of more kissing, more voices, more touches. His skin flares with their sensual attention, with where they dare touch him. He wakes up sweating, underwear a little damp.
On the fifth and sixth nights, it is much the same, voices changing, silhouettes at the corners of his eyes beckoning, their hands hot on his pliant body. Always with less clothes. Cold showers no longer cut it in the mornings, and he has to take the matter into his own hands.
And on the seventh night, it is like a veil had lifted.
He can see clear faces, voices connecting. They speak his name, echo it like a loving feeling that traces down his spine. And he loses track of whose hands touch him, of whose warmth sinks on his lap, of whose stiff heat buries into him.
And he wakes up shuddering, hot, gasping for breath, underwear very sticky and cock still pulsing its last bits of release into the fabric.
No, no, no, no.
Please no.
And so, Shu Yamino realizes he is an incubus.
How? How?
He'd always been like the rest of his clan; a magical shapeshifter, soul expressing as flames or lightforms, and any form of demon was considered a separate species from them when spoken of. None of his clanmates ever had a marking like this, neither children nor elders. Meanwhile, Yōkai scrolls and bestiaries he studied would feature sex demons sometimes– always with a heart marking low on the abdomen.
Like the one he had just gotten.
The reminder that he has no memory of his father, that his mom only ever spoke briefly of him, even if fondly– it chills Shu with the very real possibility.
He messages Debi, the cute-mean devil that is a senpai to him in the Japanese branch of their group. He's asked them about all sorts of sorcery and devilry information before, so he prays they won't suspect anything of his questions.
And each step of the conversation sinks Shu's stomach further and further.
[ Yea, I think I kno', heard of those kinda demons only awakening that side later in life, mostly the halfies, quarters, so on. Sometimes creachers get cursed and think they became a sex demon, but you can't just turn someone into one unless you're basically a god. The curse gives them that heart marking, but it goes away with like, a single round or night of sex. For demons it doesn't ever go away, it's permanent, it comes back. The curse... I think it can be broken through magic, but any method like that is under-researched because they're risky and can cause dysfunctions, it's just easier to fuck. It's a rare curse, usually only dealt by sex demons themselves. Are you asking because of the fans drawing you with 'em? ]
[ maybe ], Shu lies, but it'll at least stave off suspicion, he hopes.
Maybe it can still be a curse. Or some fleeting ailment, even, not needing to be broken but instead withstood for just a little while more. Is it too optimistic to cling to, a hope like this?
A sentiment lingers, insistent, you should just accept the worst. You're an incubus. There is no one around you who could have cast that curse.
With each passing day, the nightmare only consolidates itself as Shu's new reality.
He awakes to himself humping pillows, he ends up succumbing to having to masturbate to clear his head throughout the day, he finds his mind veering into fantasies while showering.
It's staggering, this difference. He was never really sexual, never really felt a need for physical relief beyond a few urges into teenagehood. Sure, he wasn't innocent (with friends like Uki and Elira and Pomu, it was scientifically impossible), and was aware of all the necessary biological information involved, and romance was cute, and orgasms did feel nice... but he didn't really "get" it.
Casual hookups, flirting with strangers, dating services, it all felt alien to him. Shu wasn't sure if he ever experienced falling in love, and the thought of sharing sexual intimacy would never linger in his mind, all too flustering and seeming like a very distant thing. Perhaps some would call him dense, but truthfully, he just... wasn't interested enough in those things.
Uki brought up to Shu that he might be in the asexual spectrum, or that other aspects of his brainworks made him see things differently, and it's a maybe. Labels could feel too deterministic. He's too busy to be thinking about such things.
It's not like he couldn't feel anything; there were things that fluttered butterflies in his stomach, made his heart skip a beat, doused his face in flaming red. Elira's new outfit for her virtual model made him blush so much; when Ike first cooked for him based on recipes he'd taught the novelist he barely knew what to do with himself; and he'd be lying to himself if he were to say that Uki's forms of physical affection didn't make his heart race, sometimes.
But feelings were vague, and if they appeared less so, he'd suppress them. The thought of romantic relationships was daunting. What he had right now with all of them was stable, a solid foundation that he needed to stay as unshaken as possible with so much still needing settling about their new lives.
Maybe lately he had been... a little more open to himself about the possibility of tackling such feelings. They made it seem so easy, didn't they? A few of his friends and coworkers were already dating for some time, and Shu had an inkling that there was more to it than what he knew. Little by little, it seemed like their branch was weaving a web with many connections, beyond the couples that even fans felt were obvious, like Elira and Pomu, Uki and Fulgur, Petra and Reimu, Enna and Millie. Pomu and Selen, Uki with the others in Noctyx, Ethyria among themselves, they were beyond hinting as well– Shu wondered how far it went, if perhaps he was the only one among them not in a relationship like that. He wasn't about to ask something like that.
It did make some modicum of sense, as they were lacking in options compared to Earth-born humans. Luca or Sonny for instance could perhaps get away with settling with someone from this world, but most of them would risk being found out as otherwordly beings; it would be way too stifling, so in the end, their options for relationships were only fellow isekai victims.
He did know about Luxiem, the mess they were getting themselves into, with each other– Vox and Mysta and Ike and Luca, and they had shown a willingless to extend a hand, get Shu to "complete" it– but...
Lack of interest, ambivalence and timidness had kept Shu from even considering taking any steps. The rest of his branch had acknowledged at this point that he was either not interested or not ready, and overall respected it, not pushing anything beyond flirty jests, and he wouldn't dare ask if any of them really meant more by those. He was possibly the only one among them still a virgin– and that was fine. Virginity was a weird social concept with too much haphazardly attached to it, anyway.
But that just made his current situation painfully ironic.
It was the exact kind of "the Fates are mocking me" situation– perhaps a little too early and dramatic to believe it a counter to the haven he'd found in his new life.
Was it truly too bad, this nagging horniness? Maybe it was just something that needed getting used to and wouldn't bother him after enough time, until he got all this mess figured out?
Except... instead of becoming more manageable, the exact opposite was happening. His bouts of seemingly random arousal only became more intense, even just feeling fabric rustling against his crotch would trigger an erection, messy unlabeled emotions would echo out, you're in love, you're in love, you're in love. Fantasies would grow more vivid, to the point that he could easily be dragged into one from otherwise innocent and innocuous things.
And the worst of all, it did not subside when he was working.
In fact, essentially any of his friends coming to voice call with him only made things worse.
They were always the ones who would have the courage to flirt at each other, act down bad, make lewd jokes and ask inappropriate personal questions (not all of them, but the percentile was closer to a hundred than it was to fifty)– Shu never had interest in partaking in those things, even knowing his fans would have a field day with it. Sure, he'd entertain sufficiently genuine questions a few times or go along with some of the lighter stuff, like underwear color inquiries, and would not mind his friends being themselves and borderline playing hot potato with the Terms of Service even on his streams.
Throughout the past year, whenever they did things like that, even if his brain started forming a visual reflecting the conversation, Shu would easily stop such thoughts from developing and keep focusing on the games at hand. Whenever they sent all-too-spicy fanart in the group channels, he'd bite down on his curiosity and not click to un-blur the file (or scroll past quickly when they didn't bother to blur it). Whenever they started getting a bit too "sussy" in group voice calls, he'd drown it out until they were out of that depth.
But now–
⎾ Let me go, you rat bastard. ⏌ Vox demands, his character being grabbed by Mysta's in a firm hold– though with this game's volatile physics engine, what counted as "firm" was debatable.
⎾ Don't play hard to get. ⏌ Mysta teased, managing to have his character press up against Vox's as they clumsily struggled.
The demon's atittude seemed to do a one-eighty in under a second. ⎾ Oh, are you– ⏌
⎾ Yeah, let me get some of that ass. ⏌
Despite the characters being pretty featureless blob-like people, what the fox managed to get going after pressing the other against the boat's railing made it pretty obvious what he was getting at.
A series of exaggerated moans and sighs and gasps followed as their characters writhed together, to the shock of absolutely no one in the audience other than the rare newcomers who'd never seen a Luxiem stream before.
Shu would usually blatantly ignore such displays, perhaps laugh if the turn of events was really sudden or the audacity was pushed to the point of demonetization concerns, but now his body simply froze. The stupid, wiggly characters were substituted by Mysta and Vox themselves in his mind's eye, vivid thoughtforms of flashes of fangs and messy hairs and tugs and slaps of skin as they cried out in blissful tango–
And Shu didn't even notice his character was just standing there as the erotic sounds and imagery attacked his senses until he's forced to snap out of it by his entire screen shifting when Luca's grabs him.
⎾ Wait, wait wait wait! No! ⏌ He briefly panics, trying to mash out of the hold, but Luca's laughs echo boisterously as he tumbles both their characters off the railing and onto the water, out of the match; the blond really was always more about trolling than self-preservation.
⎾ You were just standing there, Shu. ⏌ Ike notes, incredulous. He'd been flung off the boat first so he could pay full attention to the ongoing shenanigans.
Shu doesn't have a response to it, his blood still pooled shamefully south.
That day had taught him strictly that collabs would be difficult with this new hounding condition.
All of that risqué banter and flirting and more... It was just what his coworkers always did, even before relationships started forming. Prior to this cursed awakening, Shu never really minded it, and they usually avoided laying it on too thick when he was around anyway, and also avoided laying it on him.
Usually.
⎾ Babe, you look lonely all the way out here. ⏌ Uki's velvety voice purrs, and even though Shu's been used to this man's voice for years, his current sickness has it crawling down his spine, caressing low.
Uki's character corners his, away from the distant chaos of what others were up to somewhere else in the server.
⎾ I'm organizing my inventory. ⏌ Shu replies, but he's forgotten where he stopped at.
⎾ I expected that from you. But that's no fun. ⏌ The character moves forward, closer. ⎾ We could share a little kiss here, right? No one has to know. ⏌
If you ask Shu, he definitely did not have his mouth slightly open for a fleeting moment, helpless to the vivid thought of Uki kissing him, parting his lips with a tongue–
⎾ A... a kiss? ⏌ The sorcerer stalls, warmth already fanning under his skin.
⎾ Yeah. Just a little smooch. Unless you wanna do more... no one's around to catch us... ⏌
⎾ I'm here. I was with him, Uki. ⏌ Elira's character comes around from a corner, laughter to her tone as she chimed, ⎾ You can't even control yourself for five minutes before pushing your harem agenda. ⏌
⎾ We can share him, Elira. Shu has two hands. ⏌ Uki makes their character crouch several times, adding emphasis.
⎾ Ooooh. ⏌ The dragon playfully adds, ⎾ You wanna kiss from me too, Shu? ⏌
Shu's body is burning. Timid butterflies once upon a time, tickling his stomach ever so gently, were now mighty pterodactyls fanning high flames stoked by unavoidable feelings. Both their characters are crowding expectantly before him.
⎾ Shuuuu. ⏌ Uki insists, tone melodious, inviting.
⎾ キスしたいよう? ⏌ Elira says softly, cutely.
Shu barely has the time to clumsily slam on the mute button as his body shudders, a moan slipping helplessly past his lips.
He's going to die. He's not gonna be able to take this.
The glow in his mark brightens briefly, hungers, and he fights for his sanity against the phantom sensations of touches on his body, of that psychic and dragon smashing him between them and rubbing his wings, biting his neck, claiming his mouth until he's breathless–
He coughs a bit as he unmutes, abating their amusement-concern with a- ⎾ Sorry, sorry, choked on my water. ⏌
⎾ Awh, you tried to take in too much at once? ⏌ Uki coos.
Shu bites his lip to not let out another sinful noise, cock pushing an agonizing tent in his shorts.
⎾ Let's go back to building before Selen flies over here and calls us useless. ⏌ Elira (thankfully) points out, noticing that Shu seems to be malfunctioning about the flirting more than usual. ⎾ Or kills us, takes our stuff and goes build it herself. ⏌
⎾ Y-yeah. ⏌ Shu agrees, hoping the jitter of his hands won't translate into misinputs in the game.
It's been getting worse.
It's barely been two weeks.
He can't control his fantasies. He'd never understood the overwhelming response to fanservices, finding it a bit of an exaggeration how their punishment games and voice tweets always struck such high popularity when they weren't even that special. He avoided every NSFW tag, every ship tag; every hint of a romantic feeling towards a friend would get rejected by his system, explained away in some manner.
Yet now he was so, so helpless to all of it. His hungry incubus nature drove his hand to scour tags he'd ignored for over a year, to collect fansa clips, to sit through a couple of the less safe ASMR streams with tightly shut eyes and motions in his underwear.
And his own hands weren't enough to abate the fire. Shu bought toys, which he also had never even considered purchasing before, in a desperate bid to be properly satisfied. It gave him orgasms, sure, allowed his mind to clear even if for a little while, but it didn't stave off the hunger for long.
Fantasies plagued him each night, each morning. He'd claw fresh blood out of his arms, feeling sick at the thought of jacking off to his friends this much, feeling filthy and unworthy. Even if it was an illogical mess of feelings, he was far from being able to reconcile them, to look at it from a calm perspective, his physical and psychological control and sense of self being challenged time and time again.
The thought of any of them – or anyone – finding out was terrifying.
But hiding that something was off was becoming much harder.
Shu was starting to lose control of some abilities, even his natural shapeshifting. His magic-attuned clanfolk have a few different base forms from birth, and human was just one of them; usually they'd remain stably in an inbetween of mix-and-match features, with full control of going one way or another.
Yet now he'd wake fully shifted into another form every couple of days, see his arms suddenly meld into penguin flippers and almost drop things he was holding, have to fiddle with suddenly displaced headphones because of course they don't work on large bat ears, shirts almost ripping from the secondary pair of dragon wings that would sprout lower on his back. At this point while scrubbing himself down in the shower, if he found any random patch of feathers or fur or scales or all of those he'd just silently pray they would stay under control.
⎾ Has anything been going on with you, Shu? ⏌
⎾ Yeah, have you been okay? Your warp point is always off now. ⏌
⎾ I'm just down with something and I don't want– ⏌ At that moment his mouth shifts, halfway into a penguin beak, but he forces himself to talk through it; ⎾ To end up spreading it to anybody. ⏌
And of course Petra catches it, knowing how it sounds to try to speak through that kind of beak. ⎾ Uh... you brought your beak out just now? ⏌
⎾ M-maybe? ⏌
⎾ Beak like, mouth-beak? Is it some sorcerer-specific ailment? ⏌ Ike questions.
⎾ Not risking it, ⏌ Shu vagues, unable to shift the appendage back. ⎾ Don't worry, I'm figuring things out. ⏌ He isn't.
⎾ Keep us updated on how you're doing, okay? ⏌ The novelist's tone is so sweet, concerned, that Shu feels a pang of guilt for lying to him.
And he knows they aren't all convinced, that some will worry anyway. Especially as he's found that, over time, he's been feeling more and more tired, and it bleeds through his voice when he's not careful.
Even though he's still sleeping and eating well enough, each day makes him a little more tired than the last. Like the nutrients from food aren't sufficient and he's just slowly starving, like he's growing actually sick. Each time he reaches orgasm on his own, it seems to abate the slightest bit, like eating a single candy, but it cannot sate the ongoing hunger nor truly lift the encroaching fog.
There's a way to deal with all this. A solution he'd known since the start.
It's sex, isn't it? Just having sex.
Something so simple. In all likelihood, some of his colleagues could be doing it right now. Literally just– the same as what he already did everyday with his hands, toys– except with someone else present. Feeling him, touching him.
And that was the whole issue.
It was a nerve-wracking thought, letting himself be that vulnerable. Bringing potential awkwardness into friendships that were going so well, that he was lucky to have. He hadn't even had a "proper" kiss with anyone, and he couldn't fathom the thought of one-night stands. That just wasn't him.
But this is not about what he's comfortable with. This is a physiological need now, a medicine to an ailment. And the reminder of it crawls dread under his skin. Too sudden, and why him?
There are services, of course, but the thought of hiring or inviting a stranger to satisfy him is considerably worse. He'd feel extremely unsafe, not knowing the other person at all, and it couldn't even be a human to begin with unless he could either fully control the manifestation of his inhuman traits (unlikely) or be confident in his memory-wiping spells (he wasn't). No, no, it had to be a good and trusted friend.
Shu's anxious thoughts land on Uki– he's known Uki for years, and he knows Uki has a near-zero chance of rejecting a proposition from him. He wouldn't even need to explain anything, just open his mind up and allow the psychic to read it. Uki was perhaps his safest option.
But whenever Shu would open up DMs or consider private-calling him, rolls of prepared sentences in his head, he'd freeze up. He couldn't bring himself to do it. To even ask for a private meeting, to say "I have something really important to tell you".
Shu has tried a few days in a row, even managed to write a whole paragraph, but he deleted it before even sending.
He'd call himself pathetic if his anxiety didn't speak louder.
But something was coming up.
Staff had asked for a physical meeting of their branch– those didn't happen too often, but their warp gems allowed them to make it happen without major issue aside from timezone conflicts. It had taken excruciating research and hundreds of safety tests before the gems were allowed to be granted to the livers, and they were allowed to use it for personal reasons as well, and said magical trinkets had been free– the least they could do was comply with a meeting request like that.
Shu was dreading it immensely. He's been avoiding meeting anyone, even just joining group video calls. He rarely shared his cam, but he'd still sit around in calls to chill and hang out while the others shared theirs– and now he just wouldn't even join, scared of tops loosely hanging off shoulders (such a frequent occurrence with Elira), open shirts (Vox was a common offender), visible hickeys dotting necks and collars (Pomu had stopped bothering to hide them), sweaty fabric clinging to post-workout skin (Luca liked to show off even if he didn't say it). Things that once upon a time he didn't mind, or would at most fluster him for a bit before he averted his gaze, but that could now completely derail his thoughts and test his self-control.
Obviously, a meeting would put him in the same room as all of them at once. Does Shu want to go? No. Would it be extremely attention-catching if he didn't? Well.
If he tried to bring up his supposed sickness as an excuse, he could be pushing it to a level where staff would want to stage some intervention, especially with the "theory" being that it was not a common human ailment. And being taken to the alterhuman-and-isekai-victims medical facilities where he would be unable to lie under pressure and they'd catch his unbearable horniness sounds– terrible. It sounds terrible.
He'll just... exhaust himself with masturbation, force orgasms if he has to, and hope that will abate his desire when he warps to headquarters.
And so he does. More than a full hour before, he brings out all his toys, climaxes until he feels like he might pass out if he continues. Chugs a cup of coffee, cleans up, attempts to take deep breaths. Puts on dark clothes to muffle the glow of the heart mark. Slips on a face mask to corroborate with the narrative.
And warps out.
Shu is usually early to those, diligent, helping with small things about the setup before the meeting, but not this time. He specifically pushes the timing so there will be very little time between his arrival and the start of the talks, so that he can avoid interactions (that he's usually content, happy to engage in).
It's not enough. He should have known.
Elira and Uki and Pomu find him easily.
Exactly the ones he didn't want to see while like this, but also exactly the ones who would be up in his business when it was clear to them that something was off.
⎾ Coming late too? Hmm. ⏌ The fairy's head tilts, looking him up and down with her big amber eyes.
⎾ Yeah, got caught up... ⏌ Shu tries to be confident in his reply to disperse concerns.
He hates how his eyes keep catching on their traces, on the lines of their hairs and faces and necks, even in such drab lighting and uninspiring work-like clothes. But perhaps just looking away the entire time would be more suspicious, or being stuck in some middle term and having his eyes flitting about in very clear not-calm behavior.
The ghost of confidence doesn't seem to work on the psychic, usually-hooded gaze even more narrow. ⎾ I know you said you're sick or whatever... but I don't totally buy it. ⏌
Shu feels a metaphysical nudge, a sensation he recognizes as Uki attempting to pry into his mind.
It could be so "easy". To simply let Uki, allow them to prod as they wished and find everything out that way, no need for words. To bring down the walls he keeps around his psyche as a call for help that the others couldn't access.
But Shu is anxiety-struck and reinforces those walls instead, even if instinctively, even tired as he was. And so Uki silently gives up.
⎾ I'm taking care of myself, I promise. ⏌ It's not a lie.
⎾ Look, even if you are... sometimes you need outside help too. So don't be a stranger, okay? We're here, staff is here. ⏌ Pomu insists.
It doesn't just work like that, not in his case.
⎾ I have to go now because manager-san is on my tail, but remember that my home is always open if you need anything. Because it's yours too. ⏌ The fairy waves back as her wings aided in her step, ⎾ See you all at the meeting! ⏌
They didn't have a lot of time before it'd start up, and Uki certainly didn't waste that time. ⎾ ... You've been avoiding us. All of us. ⏌
⎾ I've just been needing... some... rest? ⏌
⎾ You say that, but you played those entire three hours of Valorant at Mysta's birthday, and only quit when the totsu was about to start, which is a lot less energy-consuming. ⏌ Elira points out.
⎾ ... Sorry. I can't explain it well, but it's the social stuff that's more... I don't know. Right now. ⏌
Uki crosses his arms. ⎾ So it's not something you're all that sure of, either. ⏌
⎾ Did you curse yourself? ⏌
⎾ I'm... looking into that. ⏌
Shu knows he's just going to be frustrating, half-assed answers and vagueness, so they should just give up at this point.
He feels a presence behind them, and turns to glance, but can only catch the end of an electric-plug tail vanishing into a corridor.
Well, even if Alban were listening, it's not like he said anything particularly worth hiding. But Uki–
⎾ Hey, hey! You better not be running! You still owe me a kiss! ⏌ The psychic yells at the thief, getting no response. ⎾ I'm gonna have to go after him... ⏌
⎾ Go get 'im. ⏌ Elira encourages, lightly slapping their back.
Uki looks long and serious at Shu before giving a step forward with wide-opening arms. Simultaneously, the sorcerer steps back; the thought of real, physical contact of that sort right now was not something he wanted, knowing it might tamper with his unpredictable desires. He was already feeling the unwanted effects just by being near them.
⎾ I guess no hugs, huh. ⏌ Uki deflates, suppressing the urge to click his tongue. ⎾ Alright, alright. But I'll be checking back with you, okay? We love you, Shu. ⏌
Oh, how his heart skips.
⎾ Sorry. ⏌ Is Shu's reply, because he doesn't know what else to say, needs to steer clear of emotions in order not to crumble.
The psychic leaves, seeming to share a look with Elira for a moment before leaving the two there.
⎾ We don't have... much time right now. ⏌ Shu wishes he could sound completely unaffected.
⎾ Yeah. ⏌ The dragon concurs. ⎾ You don't wanna talk, right? ⏌
No. ⎾ Not right now. ⏌
Elira hums, and before he can really take note of it, she's taking his hand in hers, holding it simply and gently.
It feels like the warmth of her lightcasting even though she's not doing anything, the touch causing a sense of hyperawareness that slows time for him. The sight and feel of her light scales, so contrasting with his dark fingers; of cool and warm claw tones; of kind intentions through a loose grip.
⎾ You can count on us for anything. Any, any thing. If you need space, you can just ask. But I don't want to see you bottling stuff up, thinking your sentiments aren't worth sharing, alright? I don't want you to be avoiding us because of dark thoughts getting to you again. ⏌ She says in that tone that's lower, softer, serious. ⎾ If any of us suffer, we suffer together. ⏌
Shu feels like he can't breathe, for a moment, at the emotion in her visible starcross eye. It rumbles through him, the sight and feel of her, the echo of her voice, the pulse of his heart mark making everything feel like too much, and he's struck in sheer turmoil and a feeling that both constricts his chest and flutters it feather-ful.
And feathery is the perk of her headwings too, as her eye widens and the line of her mouth goes small, just before–
A zooming black cat hurries by, stopping just past them and looking at them quizzically. It's expected at this point for Lucie to prance out in headquarters to gather up members when they need to be herded somewhere.
⎾ The meeting! ⏌ Shu jolts, almost toppling over as he snaps his hand back from Elira's and starts rushing towards the room.
The dragon stays behind, stunned.
That wasn't an illusion, right? Her eye wasn't playing tricks on her, was it?
Shu's eyes, they... she knew them, their purple depths cradling pupils that had always been diamond-shaped. And that's how they'd looked now, too. But...
Unmistakably, she saw his pupils re-shape, shift in real time. The outlines had gained a pink glow and become... hearts?
It shocked her, it made her feel some kinda way, her heart is still fast-pace knocking on her ribcage. What was that?
Shu...
(((...))
He's so bad at acting, at lying, Elira's probably going to be in even more alert now.
((...))
And that cup of coffee is catching up to him, but he doesn't want to draw any attention by excusing himself to the bathroom. Getting perceived right now? No thanks.
While he tries to insist on holding it, though, he's very rudely reminded that it's actually a terrible idea because the heart tattoo is right over his bladder, and the organ's stretch pushes against it and makes the arousal issues worse. And he's starting to need to pee really badly and if he begins squirming that's gonna be more attention-catching.
So he excuses himself, swiftly and politely, and departs before anyone can properly realize he's going.
((...))
He feels almost dizzy with shame, seeing how stiff and wet his cock is, the pink glow above it mocking.
Shu steps closer to the toilet, getting his length to point down with its own prehensile motions, a little too afraid to touch his own dick right now.
But even after emptying his bladder, he finds himself just staring down, pragmatic and anxious thoughts converging– I should rub one out before I go back, right? For safety?
And Shu ends up caving, forcing himself to be quiet, stroking and rubbing as precum slips out the thin end of his penis and drips into the unflushed toilet. The high heat under his skin is more from fear than arousal, anxious at the thought of anyone coming into the bathroom.
He spills white ribbons into the bowl, nearly tears into his tongue from biting so hard, prays his dick will stay like that when it slackens and retreats almost fully into its sheath.
Thankfully, there's no one out when he flushes, leaves the stall, washes his hands and face, stares back at water sliding down flushed cheeks. The face of someone who's just jacked off in a fucking workplace bathroom.
Shu almost considers not returning to the meeting. Just teleporting back home, lying in bed, riding out the wave of self-loathing hopelessness that just slapped him hard. But that'll just stir concern.
Maybe not coming at all was the right thing to do, but it's too late now.
((...))
There's a voice that's not his, coming out of his throat, calm and even– that hasn't happened in a while.
((...))
He's up soon, not the soonest, but there's some ongoing banter that's loud and attention-catching, good enough of a cover. Hopefully.
It's not exactly Shu moving his own legs, or he's not entirely sure, the incubus hunger and co-consciousness making him doubt the current extent of control over his own body. And it's scary. He knows he can trust the facet of him he calls Hikarino, but the incubus instincts, not so much.
He's out the door and heading somewhere else, the turns of the building no one really bothers to go to, away from scents and body warmth and pretty voices and faces and oh so much energy he could be feeding from. He shoves his mask down to breathe fresher, beyond glad that these empty corridors don't hold anyone's scent. His cock is tight-tensed, feeling every inch of the fabric pushing against it, the front of his pants so thoroughly soaked with precum that it looked like he'd just pissed himself. He really hopes none of his overseas senpais are frolicking around here.
Shu's extensively foggy mind didn't catch the footsteps following him.
There was a lot he knew about Shu, the sorcerer opening up to him in different ways as they bonded closer. And among such things was the way he'd deal with emotional vulnerability– shut himself off more, insist he's fine, metaphorically let open wounds friction until they scar without asking for someone to help soothe them.
These past weeks have nagged at the novelist, and he's not the only one carrying suspicions, but they know Shu doesn't really like when they openly worry about him, even when it's justified.
Point is, Ike is not quite buying the whole "illness" thing. There's something more to it for sure, Shu's refusal to offer details a loud type of silence in the novelist's senses.
He wants to at least talk, face to face. He's experienced firsthand just how much simple love and understanding can shift Shu's concerns about things.
⎾ Shu! ⏌
The sorcerer flinches at the call, slows his pace reflexively but isn't sure if he wants to. But if he tries to run instead, how's that gonna look like?
Ike catches up to him, goes around since he hasn't turned to greet him, the both of them stopping. ⎾ Shu, can we talk? ⏌ The tone is caring, nearly pleading.
No, we can't, is what his mind immediately snaps back, fearful. Shu's sticky with sweat, flushed, so so tired. He's so hungry and Ike is so nice, so pretty, dim lamplight on glasses over gorgeous yellow-moss eyes.
Shu shudders, his wings flap, eyes dilate.
⎾ Shu? ⏌ Ike attempts again, concern only increasing.
The sorcerer steps back. He can't safely be this close, his incubus hunger is making him see pink. Ike's scent, warmth, breaths and voice past chewed lips–
And Ike reaches out, grabs his arm, and the physical touch makes Shu's control snap.
It's heat, heat heat as he grabs the slatet by that messy-pretty hair, crashes their lips together, lips and teeth and tongue and shared breaths.
His tongue burns with sudden pleasure, a soft moan pushed into Ike's mouth, sparks caressing and tingling down to his toes.
And just that kiss feels like a soft rush of energy into him already, like a gulp of water to a parched throat, like meds that he needed finally gave their first little kicks in.
Which in turn clears his fatigued senses enough to bring him dread and a chill crawling on his spine.
His mouth and fingers slacken. He stops.
Ike is stunned, absolutely not expecting any of that. He can hardly proccess it. Shu just– kissed him? Unprompted? Shu?
Not that he disliked it, certainly not, but the absurd suddenness of it and Shu's current panicked expression told the novelist that something was very wrong here.
⎾ Sh– ⏌
⎾ Sorry, sorry, sorry– I shouldn't have– I'm so– ⏌
Ike re-tightens the grip on his arm when he feels the man attempt to slip away. He cannot simply allow him to run and go isolate in his home again in this state.
⎾ Don't you dare try to leave, I'll– I'll follow you. ⏌ Ike bites out, a little panicked himself.
Of all the times he has imagined kissing Shu, the only of his genmates he hadn't, it was all reasonable– something romantic, maybe a dare, maybe pocky. And maybe Shu wouldn't like it, Ike didn't assume he would, didn't graft purely utopic thoughts. But none of that gets close to how awful it feels to see the sorcerer look terrified like that; even a grimace might have been better.
There is a long silence.
⎾ Shu, you have to communicate with me. You have to. Please. You're worrying me. I just– I just want to help. ⏌
Shu doesn't meet his eyes.
⎾ ... then come with me. ⏌
Ike is surprised by the unresisting reply, the lack of protests and excuses, but it's all he could ask for right now.
The headquarters are left behind as they warp with joined hands, relocating to the other side of the world within a second.
Ike squints in the darkness as Shu half-heartedly murmurs something and the lights flicker to life.
And the sight awaiting the novelist has him slack-jawed.
Shu's messy futon and the surroundings are littered with sex toys, different sizes and purposes all greeting him. Sheets are torn up, some with obvious, repeated re-stitches to keep them together. There's a bucket to the side with a rag inside it. And some distinct muted smell lingers in the air, something Ike can't quite put his finger on other than finding it vaguely sexual.
⎾ ... Shu? ⏌ Ike is definitely very concerned now.
The sorcerer stays quiet, doesn't look at him as he lifts up his hoodie and drags the hem of his pants down a little.
The novelist blinks in awe at the intricate, pink-glowing mark in the shape of a heart settled between Shu's groin and abdomen. The silent hinting is that, whatever it is, it's correlated with all the surrounding concerns.
And it also brings his attention to the front of his pants, clearly very wet and with something kind of off about the shape.
It's too wet, looks so uncomfortable, and Ike can only imagine it must not have felt good sitting down at the meeting like that. He attempts to piece a few things together, make a bit of sense–
⎾ Don't you want to change? I can wait here. ⏌ He tries to not be awkward as he adds, ⎾ Look, if you ended up wetting yourself for any reason, that's okay, I don't think– ⏌
⎾ It's not pee. ⏌ Shu mumbles, avoiding his eyes.
Ike blinks rapidly, befuddled. ⎾ Did you spill some drink, maybe, or... ⏌
Shu sighs long and defeated. ⎾ I'm horny, Ike. I've been... clinically horny for about three weeks. This tattoo showed up, I wasn't even casting any curses for a while, and then after a few days I– ⏌ He can feel the anxiety brewing, making his hands tremulous, ⎾ I couldn't stop thinking. About sex. I can't satisfy myself. It always comes back– this nagging need, the desires, I've been so tired and haven't found a reversal to whatever this is, but, but– ⏌
He's dreading so much. The kiss had only proved things further, he could literally feel energy flow into him that way, he needed another person.
Shu barely realizes he's sitting down on the bed, his eyes wet. He feels too stressed, too humiliated, too fragile.
And Ike's arms are around him.
⎾ Shu... I don't believe that you've been like this three weeks and haven't figured a single thing out. There must be something you found out. You're way too sorcery-smart not to. ⏌ He presses a little as he pets Shu's shoulder, pause-drawn while still digesting the information. ⎾ There has to be something that can be done. ⏌
⎾ I– I'm pretty sure I am... a sex d-demon now. I n-need... s-sex with other people. ⏌
It sounds so fucking stupid coming out of his mouth while he's almost sniffling, almost blubbering, he's sure he looks like an absolute idiot in probably many ways and Ike should rightfully mock him–
The novelist squeezes his arms tighter around him. Mutters his name sweet, understanding, but his brows are still furrowed in unease. ⎾ I know that for you that's a lot, but it's not a problem we have no way out of, okay? ⏌
Ike's scent enveloping him is so much. His breath on his skin, his firm hold. It's dizzying. Everything is so much at once. Shu wants to escape this, stop feeling so much.
A light numbness seems to splay across him at that moment, and his mouth is opening and closing, but Shu feels as though the spoken words can't fully penetrate his brain.
⎾ Ike... this is overwhelming. If you keep close like this... ⏌
The novelist sees the changes in the crown of flames behind him, the mixed hues tilting towards green and blue.
Oh, this is not good, is it? Shu's psyche is not stable right now.
⎾ If I stay close you'll lose control, right? ⏌
⎾ That kiss was a demonstration of control loss. ⏌
Ike can see magenta claws digging into arms, shudders, uneven breaths.
⎾ Is... will Yamino be okay with it if we do something together? ⏌
⎾ He likes you, ⏌ Even Hikarino's more neutral tone is wavering, anxious right now. ⎾ a lot. We like you. He's still here, he's just not really in the condition to talk. ⏌
⎾ What do you need? Please, I want to help, I just don't want to make anything worse. ⏌
⎾ Touch me. ⏌ The sorcerer wraps arms around the novelist's shoulders, the glow of green in his flames also hinting within the purple of his eyes. ⎾ I consent for the both of us. ⏌
Shu is both Yamino and Hikarino, had been since the near-death experience that culminated in his transportation to this world. Yamino was empathy and fears and passion; passion for singing, learning, social connections. Hikarino was aloof, analytical, polite, direct. He often took full control in their first years on Earth due to consistent triggers that kept Yamino from properly functioning, and with gradual healing they'd started re-merging before even really realizing they were split in the first place. Even the naming convention was a recent thing, if a bit confusing.
Shu's soul flames were usually a visual tip-off, going a deeper purple for "Yamino" and cyan-green for "Hikarino", with the whole Shu sporting flames that had the combined tones, but if they were retracted – like during the meeting – it could be very difficult to tell.
(((...))
The following days seem too good, comparatively– like he'd taken his wellbeing for granted before. He doesn't feel horny inclinations, the fatigue is not there at all, no brain fog, no becoming physically more sensitive at seemingly random, no constant underwear changes or laundry-doing. Not having to get off several times a day saved time, and being able to just be around his friends normally–
Well, not like before; the shame certainly lingered, maybe stronger now, with a clearer head.
But that too, would pass. Probably.
Shu is cautious, so he doesn't claim that he's cured, simply that he believes he's feeling better now– and through his actions, the others are inclined to agree, and are glad he's okay.
But as good as it was to keep some semblance of normalcy for a bit, to hold onto hope...
There it was again. The contours of a heart shape. Faint, but definitely present.
And Shu has to put a lot of effort not to panic out of his skin at seeing it again.
Of course. The evidence had always been stacked against the best-case scenario of a temporary ailment. Deep down, he knew that. And this seemed like the last push into acceptance.
He is an incubus, of a late awakening, and there is no hoping out of that.
Has it even been a full week, since Ike...?
Already knowing what's going on doesn't quite help. It's still despairing, maybe even more tiring. It's a painful sink-in, that this aching hunger will just chase him for the rest of his life.
Maybe it's stronger now, even, his body having tasted the real experience and wanting more.
Just do it again, forehead, get at least another week of peace.
Shu doesn't want that. Telling Ike he needs it again. Telling Ike that their hopes were dashed, plans thrown into disarray again. And so soon, too.
He tries to keep up the façade that he's not going down that path again, tries to balance work and jumbled thoughts with no clear answer. Even if the memories of his time with Ike were hazy, his body remembers well, the sensations bubbling through even his own touch.
He thinks he's hiding it well enough for now, with strategies he had the misfortune of needing such as getting off before every stream– but it's not quite the case.
(((...))
There's a message from Elira that gives him a spike of dread.
[ can I call you? ]
It's so simple. And yet.
[ today? ] he types back.
[ After my stream. Please ]
Oh...
How could he say no? How was he supposed to decline?
((...))
⎾ You're not okay, again. ⏌
⎾ How do you... know that? ⏌
⎾ Because I know you. How long have we known each other? ⏌
⎾ Five... no, wait... twenty-twenty... two, minus, uh... ⏌
⎾ You flubbing up simple math is just proving the point. ⏌ She sighs. ⎾ I want to come over tomorrow so we can talk. ⏌
⎾ We're talking right now. ⏌
⎾ Shu. ⏌
In a way, attempts to deflect would only dig himself deeper.
Elira brings, through the silence, ⎾ You can come here instead, if that's comfier for you. But, please. It has to be in person. Whatever it is, I'm sure you're probably making a monster out of it in your head, and you need someone to pull you out of that. ⏌
Shu is scared. Being alone with Elira, in either of their rooms– he's scared of that, with the way he is right now.
Of a moment like with Ike, where his self-control snapped and he'd grabbed his face and–
Oh, he's terrified.
But he's not sure he can argue with her.
⎾ S... sure. ⏌
⎾ Good. You can show up in the morning, but I'll send a message to remind you anyway. Capische? ⏌
(((...))
(between eliras night call and the morning they meet?)-------
He slips into a dream, and the dream is a memory.
It was already a while past midnight, so the energies had lulled down a little.
Chatter was more subdued, the scatter was more relaxed. Plenty of them just don't have the energy to be so social for so long, but still stuck around comfortably. The drinks were well settled into some of them– Enna was passed out on a loveseat, head on Millie's caring lap; Petra was insisting on shots with Noctyx for some ungodly reason; Selen was taking in moonlight outside, arm slung around a giggly Rosemi while waiting for the right moment to spur on the chaotic talk between Vox, Nina and Finana; Ike and Reimu were having a nonsensical yet polite conversation; Mysta, Luca, Elira and Pomu were not in sight.
A new year, a brighter future– they'd make it so.
Shu was very tired.
⎾ Hey, my shoulder's a good sleeping spot if you need it. ⏌ Uki offered, trailing alongside him.
⎾ I'm not gonna sleep now. It's early. ⏌ Was Shu's response, though a traitorous yawn still tickled at his throat.
They were climbing up a set of stairs, the sorcerer's flames extra radiant to ward off the darkness even though both could see well without them. At the top was a side balcony, not the main one from where they'd all watched the distant city fireworks; this one was partially enshrouded by tree canopies and its size could definitely not handle all the members of their group branch.
Hardly past the door, though, Shu found that it wasn't deserted– Elira and Pomu were sitting on one of the two benches, leaning on each other and watching the occasional late fireworks through silhouettes of leaves and branches.
He was about to back off, not wanting to interrupt their moment, but the girls had noticed their arrival easily.
⎾ No, come here, come here! ⏌ Elira called after seeing their attempt to retreat.
⎾ Yeah, come on! No cowarding! ⏌ Pomu quickly added.
And so they joined them, all squeezing together into the bench despite there being an empty one on the other side– because that's just the way they were.
⎾ I thought you were having... a moment. ⏌ Shu explained.
⎾ Yeah, and now you're part of it. ⏌
((...))
⎾ It feels surreal being with you like this. In this moment. Like "being able to feel the breaths out of your mouths when you speak" kind of awe. ⏌ Uki spoke with wonder.
⎾ Remember our first times doing this New Year's thing? Yelling over our crusty-ass mics in our shitty rooms? ⏌ Pomu reminisced.
⎾ Yeah, my ears remember that. I sure am glad we know limiters are a thing now. ⏌ The psychic returned.
⎾ Limiter? ⏌ Pomu voiced with emphasis.
⎾ The component that lets you place– ⏌ Shu began, but Elira just cackled.
⎾ She was setting it up for you, Shu! Your catchphrase! ⏌ Uki joyfully explained.
Sheepish, the sorcerer realized. ⎾ Ooh. I guess I hardly even knew 'er. ⏌
⎾ I can't believe he dodged a Shu-like response to say something even more Shu-like. ⏌
⎾ Nerd. ⏌
⎾ Heeey. ⏌
⎾ But Uki's right. It feels like an eternity ago, but it also feels like it was just yesterday. And now... now we can just... ⏌ Elira squeezed her fingers tighter around the hold she had on Pomu's, brought her other hand to Shu's and laced them together. ⎾ Y'know. ⏌
Shu tried not to express the way his heart skipped a beat.
((...))
⎾ I love you all. ⏌
⎾ Awnn... we love you too. ⏌
⎾ I love you like a gay loves "that bitch". ⏌
⎾ I'm flattered. ⏌
⎾ What about you, Shu? What way do you love us in? ⏌
((...))
Shu couldn't sleep very well.
It's not super early, but it's morning still, and there is already a message from a certain dragon letting him know he can come in anytime.
That... there's not much to be done now, is there.
He reaches for toys already left close and starts trying to get the climaxes in to force his condition to behave for as long as possible when he goes to Elira.
And thoughts of her course through his mind, and he tries to get them out, to not think of her, but it's difficult. It's almost mocking, but it's not like she hadn't been part of his fantasies during those hungry weeks– even along with others that he didn't think he–
((...))
[ immawke now ]
(...)
He's too anxious for breakfast, the fear of nausea turning him off it– and it wouldn't sate the type of hunger that ailed him anyway.
Shu does an extra hard job of cleaning himself; Elira's nostrils are a bit keen and he doesn't want any traces of his actions on himself.
And once again, he has to give more thought to clothing.
All of the livers had outfits designed for them in the beginning, outfits that they got to keep. Their complexity usually meant they never wore the full thing. But Shu is very inclined towards his dark shorts and waist-draped fabric right now, with the sole intent of hiding his crotch.
But he probably won't be able to come out of there without Elira knowing what's going on, will he? His attention to detail here could only delay the inevitable, certainly.
((...))
Although her sleeping schedule has had to scatter all over the place in this new world, at this time, Elira would usually have her windows well-open to bring in the sun.
The mostly-closed solar ceiling and fully shut window were, by themselves, a tell that she was expecting him.
⎾ Helloo! ⏌ She cheerily greets. She's sitting on the bed, scooting her phone aside.
Shu forgets to reply, almost feeling out of breath already. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he really should have declined. Could the glow of his tattoo gleam through the dimness of the room? He can't tell when their visions under darkness are so different; what he can see, she might not.
⎾ Hmmm. ⏌ Elira already sags a little at his quiet distress, the uneasy flicker of his flames. ⎾ Perhaps we should... already get into it. ⏌
Shu fights throat-dryness, ⎾ What is... what do you... wanna, uh, ask? ⏌
⎾ I want you to tell me what's wrong. ⏌
She gets up off the bed, towards him.
It's a slow walk, one trying to be inoffensive, but it daunts Shu all the same. Trailing waistwings and tail hardly hover above the ground as she moves, passes through the thin sunbeam that slits across the room from the near-shut solar ceiling.
Shu wants to run away.
Because he doesn't want to tell her. He doesn't want to put even a single drop-in-a-bucket of pressure on her. Elira is so intensely important to him in so many ways that the thought of baring his ugly, tormenting desires to her makes him feel sick.
But she has him pinned under her gorgeous aqua gaze, under the fact he came here willingly for the exact purpose of talking.
⎾ Please. ⏌ Elira softly begs. She's not often this serious.
Shu feels stuck, turmoil rumbling within. He's terrible at lying, has always been, infallible sincerity being perhaps the biggest reason he can't just feign a normal talk and get out of here with her none the wiser to his predicament.
Perhaps he could, if they were just coworkers, near-strangers. But with the way he feels? No chance. Elira knows him too well, and she affects him too much. The seeds of his affection are so long-sown that he sees nothing but splashes of colors in a full flower vision at the sight of her, and the incubus thrum under his skin only saturates the bloom further.
Even if Shu avoids specific words within his mind, it is irrefutable.
And he's going to ruin everything like this, everything–
⎾ It's okay. It's okay. ⏌
The sorcerer had hardly noticed his back against the wall, the novel fur rising from his neck, the too-large ears flicking at the top of his head, and perhaps most strikingly, the super elongated stretch of his fingers, dark webbing forming between them in the beginnings of forming wings. A slip of control borne out of a sense of desperation to flee.
Many might have found it a grotesque sight, but Elira's been around nonhumans for centuries, knows that she's not so pretty either when her control over her forms slips, so she unflinchingly takes his warped hands in hers. She pets each eerily long finger, tapping at the claws at the tips, talking soft reassurances as she awaits for him to calm down.
It does snap him back to reality, out of turmoiling thoughts, the grounding motions aiding in reversing the bat-shifting path.
⎾ Sorry. ⏌ He mumbles, ashamed of how little control he has over himself.
⎾
((...))
It's very rare for Elira to take measures that qualify as drastic, but she fears for him right now.
((she shifts her limbs into larger to force him still on the bed))
((...))
(((smth within the rewrite))
⎾ Before the meeting, when I grabbed your hand... I saw something. Your eyes– your pupils are usually shaped like a little diamond, right? I saw them become hearts. Like glowing pink hearts. ⏌
((...)) ⎾ So I was like... damn, something's really up. I was gonna go after you after the meeting was over, I kept checking over your side, but I saw after you got up that... it seemed like you weren't able to make it when you excused yourself earlier, and I was thinking about whether I'd make it awkward if I stopped you to talk– but then I saw Ike following you, so I was trusting him to check up on you instead. ⏌
((((...))
They sit on her bed as he talks, and talks, and talks. He thought he'd feel much worse, but it feels relieving to explain things, to not feel judged as she clasps one of his hands in hers and pets it, as she swings her heavy tail around his back to wrap lazily around his own.
⎾ I'm not... that surprised. I mean, I am, because you were never... but what I'm saying is. ⏌ Elira began. ⎾ Back when you debuted as yourself, there were a few demonic folk pointing out how much you looked like you could be some kind of incubus, especially when you never gave any species away. I never really considered those because you were like the un-horniest person I've ever met. But one said, and others agreed... that there are ways that kind of thing for sex demons can only manifest later in life. I was still like... nahh. ⏌
He doesn't blame her. He would have been skeptical, too.
⎾ But when I noticed things starting to become off about you... I remembered all that. But I still didn't want to ask. You'd become super self conscious if I implied something like that. ⏌ She glances over at his lower abdomen, where he'd shown the fresh markings.
⎾ Ike said it was probably because... I started falling in love. Like really falling. I already had strong affectionate feelings for some people, but... ⏌ Shu mumbles.
⎾ Why didn't you go back to Ike? ⏌ Elira suddenly asks.
⎾ Go... back? ⏌
⎾ To have sex with him. Because you've been getting weak again. ⏌
There's a pause.
⎾ Is he bad at sex? ⏌ The dragon jokes, because she knows this is heavy for him and he needs the mood lightened.
And she waits patiently as he drags out, ⎾ No... but I... I felt... terrible, that our first time had to be... because of that. That we couldn't just build the relationship at our own time to that point. ⏌
⎾ Shu. ⏌ Elira presses, ⎾ That's not really true. You have been building relationships this entire time. At your pace. And that is such a self-evident truth that you were a virgin until Ike, right? ⏌
⎾ ... yeah. ⏌
⎾ See? That's still very much your pace, compared to all of us. And like, first times and virginity and all that are kind of a mental construct anyway. It's not like they hold no weight, but they're definitely not worth putting that much worry on. I didn't plan anything with Pomu. And I don't regret it. ⏌
⎾ ... ⏌
⎾ And. ⏌ She laces her fingers with his, squeezes his hand. ⎾ You are not intruding in my relationship with Pomu here. You are not some evil sex demon showing up to ruin a sanctitious marriage or whatever. Please never even think that. You are one of my best friends and a light in my life I could not imagine living without. Me and Pomu were more forward with each other first, but we never stopped paying attention. To when you would feel you were ready. All that this new sex drive is doing is speeding things up a little bit. So don't be afraid. Okay? ⏌
((...))
⎾ I can tell Pomu, if you don't want to repeat this conversation. She would want to help. Not just– not just "help", you know what I mean. But it's still help anyways.
•—•—•—•—•—•
(sometime within the rewrite)
⎾ You're in love with me. ⏌
It is a statement and a question, left up in the air, waiting for his own words to catch it or turn it away.
Shu buries his face deep in the crook of her neck, his voce small and vulnerable as he confesses, ⎾ ... I am. ⏌
Elira can't hide the smile in her voice as she responds by embracing him tighter. ⎾ How long, do you think? ⏌
⎾ I don't know. ⏌ Shu sincerely admits.
⎾ That one time... when you |||||||||||||||... ⏌
⎾ D-don't bring it up! ⏌
She giggles, all fangs and joy. ⎾ Didn't you know what you were feeling? ⏌
⎾ I don't know. Feelings are... difficult. ⏌
Elira scritches softly at the sorcerer's scalp, ⎾ Decoding these emotions... you're the ocean... ⏌
((...))
And then she presses close, and feels it, and Shu's body immediately reacts by pressing back onto that contact before he can stop himself.
⎾ Oh. ⏌ The realization drops as a word from her lips.
He tries to scramble away, but Elira's waistwing just tenses tighter behind him and pushes him closer again.
⎾ What did we just talk about? ⏌ Elira presses. ⎾ I know you're shy but you don't have to run. ⏌
What's he even supposed to do? Shame paints his skin red– he's hard and his crush can feel it pressed to her thigh, knows exactly what it is. Garment color and a fabric hovering befront could hide it from view, but they were useless for direct touch. The whole misfortune of his cursed need didn't really overwrite the sentiment of embarrassment.
Especially with how hard it was to control– he just wanted to hump and hump, to get physical, the arousal fog creeping in more and more with their closeness.
⎾ I... c-can't control... ⏌ Shu ends up grinding onto her leg again, the friction causing an embarrassing noise to escape his mouth.
⎾ That's okay. It's your body demanding you to feed, right? ⏌ The dragon lifts her thigh to rub it against his crotch, and he clutches her tighter with a moan. ⎾ Is it okay if I do it like this? To not overwhelm you? ⏌
Her question doesn't fully register until she does a bit more of that, continuously pressing her thigh between his legs.
((...))
She lifts his drape out of the way, gets in there again, nudging just a little harder; she can surely feel the way he pulses against her, even through the layers, and Shu's self-control takes a dive again.
He starts shifting onto her leg, rutting on scale-speckled skin as she grinds her thigh onto his cock.
Elira thinks it's the cutest thing, the way his wings flap, the way he tries to muffle his noises into her neck, how red and twitchy his ears are. How nice, how right he feels in her arms.
And Shu doesn't take long at all to come, feeling nearly overstimulated in this situation, nails digging into her back and sounds breathlessly cutting off. Elira feels the sensation seep through to her skin as they keep pressing on each other, as he spurts enough into precum-wet fabric that the sticky fluid gets to smear on her thigh a little, and that sends a curl of heat into her loins that makes her deliver her own embarrassing little noise.
(((...))
(after lewd times ewiwa offers to soak his umdies and hes so tired of cleaning he begrudgingly accepts while she asks him to think of a tweet for her to send and get interactions with. "All birds are dinosaurs, but not all dinosaurs are birds. Dragons can be either, but most importantly, dragon deez nuts" 'okay shu maybe i should let you think of tweets for me more often ha hA ')
⎾ I thought of somethin' while washing in there. ⏌ (( ⎾ Since you're already like that, why don't we take the opportunity to get you a little used to it? ⏌
(((she's referring to making him get used to being more nude while near someone else, even if there's blankets covering him up))
((..))
(she mentions how important it was for him to give her a cloaking spell to finally fly bc unlike pomu she has a huge dragon wagon - in full dragon form))
(((the idea was for Elira to ease Shu into opening up to the others about being an incubus now, primarily Uki and Pomu, and maybe have experiences with them too. I wanted Ike, Elira, Uki and Pomu to each get a type of "first" from him. With the rest of Luxiem, sometime after, it would likely have had to be with all of them at once (and potentially not as planned??) ))
It's convenient when Uki asks him if he wants to help with his desk setup.
The Noctyx first year anniversary will be coming up, and Uki has a new keyboard and external audio interface he wants to make ready for it; gifts from their group's connections, of other future-hailers who can take contemporary human scrap and make something just as good as, if not better, than what the market offers.
(Shu had been overwhelmed being sent to the future and dealing with all the new tech, and can hardly imagine the frustration that must be coming from the future and having to deal with this comparatively retrograde stage of development.)
(((...))
⎾ Want a drink? ⏌
⎾ No... I want us both to be completely sober for this. ⏌
⎾ Oh? ⏌ Uki turns on his chair, facing him fully. ⎾ Are you... finally going to tell me what's going on? ⏌
His intuition is on point, naturally.
⎾ Technically... yes. I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to... show you. ⏌
The psychic blinks with hints of disbelief. ⎾ Show... ⏌
⎾ Yeah. I'll let you see into my mind. I think that's... easier, than trying to explain. ⏌ Shu turns to the bed, knowing he's more than welcome to lay on it. And he does, though now, the reality of this is catching up to him again, and he feels anxiety bubble up inside him, drive unwelcome heat under his skin.
So he just breathes, for a little while, trying to not let the anxiety build up into panic. Even though he was so certain coming into this, the primal feeling makes him want to say "nevermind" and flee from this, just do the promised setup and leave. He can't let it overtake him and rob him of his conscious logic.
⎾ Shu? ⏌ Uki softly calls.
⎾ Sorry, I... I'm trying not to... ⏌
His shorter, uneven breaths give it away. ⎾ If this is something heavy, you don't have to show me now, okay? Breathe. You're safe here. We can just cook or watch some videos or something instead. ⏌
They were acquainted with each other's tells near panic attacks.
⎾ No, I want to do this. Let me do this. ⏌
Uki sits beside him as he breathes, gives him a pillow to clutch, rubs his shoulder. They start humming a melody that Shu hasn't heard in a while, and it's calming. He had fallen asleep to their voice a number of times, before.
Although he can't know for sure, Shu thinks that, ironically, the incubus subconscious aids him by being elated to just be beside someone.
⎾ I'm gonna start opening up. ⏌
⎾ Are you sure? I may end up seeing more than just what you want to show. That's always a risk. ⏌
⎾ I know. I've made my peace with that, I think. ⏌
((...))
⎾ Alright, ⏌ Uki takes his hand, holds it; it's not necessary for the process, but it's a good grounding connection for the both of them. ⎾ I'm going in. ⏌
Shu sees those warm eyes slip shut, and once he starts feeling a flowy sensation around his brain, he closes his own, too.
It's not always obvious to the person that Uki is prying into their minds, but Shu is magic-attuned enough for it. Preventing this and adjacent pries such as possession attempts was part of his sorcerer training.
There was something a little... soothing, about this. Like Uki was caressing him, cradling deep.
It's likely he has access to more thoughts and memories than Shu would like, adjacent occurrences of the past month blurring together, unnecessary intimate details intrusively coming to the surface along with the crucial information. But as he said, Shu had gone into this knowing it'd happen.
After a small eternity, he feels Uki's presence withdraw from his mind, slowly.
⎾ I'm gonna... need a minute. ⏌ The psychic says, not yet opening his eyes.
⎾ Take your time. ⏌ Shu murmurs back.
((...))
⎾ There was a part there I picked up on, that you were really considering talking to me about this before. And you didn't. That... that kinda thing worries me. I could have helped you weeks ago, but you just– suffered in silence. Let things get worse. ⏌
Shu doesn't have a good response to that.
⎾ I know it's a whole thing for you, but... sex is... you have the option of just doing it with no commitments, a casual friend thing. With some clear navigation and communication, you can just... do it sometimes, without worrying about all the other relationship details. Because it's a medicine for you, so you need it. And like, trust me, I'm sure a number of our friends would be fine with helping you with it. ⏌
⎾ I... uh... but I'm... I'm not even good at it. I haven't really done anything yet. ⏌
⎾ Enjoying sex is not necessarily about being "good" at it. Everyone enjoys different things. If you worry too much about performing, if you bring too many expectations about the act or yourself or your partner you might just end up making it unnecessarily stressful. Your competitive gamer ass doesn't need to bring that to the bedroom. ⏌ Uki chuckles for good measure, content when it gives Shu a hitch of a laugh too.
⎾ I guess since you're all more experienced, maybe that... I don't know... ⏌
⎾ Well, you can practice on me if you want. With no pressures about anything. I know your feelings about me are a bit complex, so we don't need to be tying strings or attaching labels, if you prefer it that way. ⏌
((...))
⎾ Or you don't have to do any of this, and you can just choose a single person to be with. Just because we're all a mess here doesn't mean you have to follow in our footsteps. ⏌
⎾ That's a lot to think about right now. ⏌
⎾ Alright.
((he lets uki read that he wants a kiss so they kiss)
Everything looks so daunting, right now.
But his new clockwork necessity doesn't allow him to keep clear thoughts, to keep ignoring it. It takes in the warmth of Uki's bed and body again, his soothing scent of seafoam with a flowery hint, and drives urges.
((...))
⎾ What can I do? ⏌
⎾ Before, were you... were you thinking of something? ⏌
⎾ Before? Yeah. I was thinking... you top, I bottom. But if that seems like too much, I can just give you a hand or a blow, too. ⏌
((...))
Uki shimmies down his bottoms comfortably, kicks them off and opens his top drawer (most people would keep these things at least in the bottom drawer; not Uki) to fetch the lubricant. Even though Shu has never asked, it's the same brand he uses. They probably went down the exact same research path to find it.
The session with Elira helped, and Uki's calmness about this does, too. It's the same man he's used to, except bottomless, opening a cap and laying back with legs spread.
⎾ I'll prep myself, but you can take over if you want, okay? ⏌ Uki informs.
It's not a new concept for Shu. He's done this to himself, even learned to work around his long nails that seem to grow back too quickly, before getting a toy specifically for prepping. He could do it to Uki if needed.
But Shu's just caught mesmerized by all of him, the ridden-up shirt, the slick fingers prying his hole open, the hitch of a breath as he pushes in, eyes lidding. And another part that his brain wrestles with wanting to look at or not, the bundle of his package nestled upon his crotch. His balls look soft, squishy-full, and his flaccid cock drapes over to the side upon them, starting to slowly swell and slightly twitch as those fingers of pretty polished nails stretched his insides, slipped in and out.
Shu finds himself longing to put his lips on that dick, a demand of his incubus desires, but he doesn't– he's not– he doesn't–
⎾ Shu, are you okay with showing yours to me? If you just want to put it in without me looking at it, that's fine. I won't judge. When you let me in your mind, I did see enough, so... I know. And I don't want it any less than I did before. ⏌
They probably saw a lot more, even. There's no point in hiding.
Still, hesitation marks Shu's motions as he peels down the layers, sits back again, tries to be comfortable as he hikes up the oversized shirt to expose himself.
⎾ It's so pretty. ⏌ Uki comments, fingers still working inside themself. ⎾ I'm biased towards purple, and towards dicks, but... you can trust me on that. ⏌
⎾ Um... thank... you. ⏌ Was the bashful response. How do you reply to that?
⎾ You don't need lube, right? For yourself. ⏌
⎾ I usually just use my... you know. But to be safer, maybe...? ⏌
Uki tosses him the bottle, and Shu's grateful for the arousal fog that dampens some of the self-consciousness about rubbing down his own dick in front of someone else.
⎾ You can put me in any position you find easier. ⏌ The psychic offers, laying back on the pillows.
Shu doesn't have experience to know what's easier for him, so he simply nods.
⎾ Come on. You can put it in. I promise it's not gonna hurt me. ⏌ Uki tugs at the edges of his hole, pretty nails contrasting with the casual lewdness.
Shu looks at the warm expression, expectant, patient. It's a distinct hovering tension, a bit like when Uki does tarot readings for him and is waiting for the response of which aspect to read into.
With the sincerity of any chosen option being fine with them.
It feels like that was a long moment, but really, it is nary a couple seconds as the pang of desire coaxes Shu forward, hands securing on slim hips and lower halves pressing together. The thin tip of Shu's length tickles Uki's entrance before he slots it in with a constant motion, and–
The difference from the toys is stark, the immediate heat, the living pulse surrounding him, and especially everything around it; Uki's body against his, their satisfied hum, their dainty hand coming up to caress his shoulder.
For all that Shu had been attempting to prepare himself for this, despite all the similar half-recalled fantasies that had accompanied him after the demonic awakening, he didn't quite know how to handle this, mentally. He's inside Uki Violeta. At this very moment.
The psychic seems to sense his distress, because of course he does, and soon a melodious hum echoes past closed lips, nails softly petting the long black-violet of Shu's hair. And that reins in his anxiety a little.
His cock subconsciously curls up, and there's something about Uki's humming being interrupted by a soft moan that sparks heat down Shu's spine.
⎾ Oh... oh. ⏌ The psychic exhales, ⎾ I forgot it can... ⏌
⎾ Is that... bad? ⏌
⎾ Absolutely not. There is nothing bad about this. ⏌ Uki smiles, ⎾ You feel so nice inside me. ⏌
((...))
⎾ You don't hurt at all. It's just... nice. We don't need big fancy words for this, it's just nice. And if you're ready, I'm ready. ⏌
((...))
Uki is having a fantastic time. It's bittersweet, wherein Shu is being spurred by turmoiling health-threatening need but– Uki was still among his first choices, he willingly sought him, and the psychic has admittedly fantasized about this quite a few times.
Hearing Shu's cute noises, seeing his flushed face, feeling the motions of his hips, the heat moving inside him–
And the sorcerer doesn't last,
((...))
They'd probably have to do this at least a second time for Uki to feel confident to confirm, though.
(*that's about the sensation of energy drain iirc))
((...))
He stifles a giddy noise when he realizes that Shu's kind of pinching near the tip because that's how he's used to doing it with the different shape of his dick. And that's just cute in some unexplainable way.
(((... This next is the scene of Pomu learning about it. I think Elira, Uki and Pomu were together with Shu for this, but afterwards Shu and Pomu get somewhere alone....))
Of course, "cultured" as she is, the fairy would recognize the tattoo right away. ⎾ Oooh! That... that explains a lot. ⏌
Shu kinda doesn't want to ask what it explains from her point of view.
⎾ ... I'm sorry, Shu. It really isn't fair that you were the one to end up with that. I mean, Uki's right there. ⏌
⎾ Wow, bitch. I don't bring men to my bed every single week. ⏌
⎾ If you had your way, though... ⏌
Uki clicks his tongue. ⎾ Well... ⏌
⎾ Wait, it's not transferrable, is it? ⏌
⎾ No... it's not a curse. Everything points to my dad having been an incubus, so it's stuck with me. And I wouldn't wish this on anyone. ⏌
((...))
And then Pomu breaks the silence.
⎾ Honestly, I'm glad you did it with them. Fucking finally. ⏌
⎾ W-what– ⏌
((...))
⎾ Hey. In your case, what are the symptoms? Irritability, hunger, y'know... besides horniness. ⏌
((...))
⎾ Have they... y'know... ⏌ Pomu lifts a hand close to her face, making an open fist and doing a jacking motion with it in the direction of her mouth, which she opens. There's a bit of bashfulness to it, but not enough to stop her.
Shu's subconscious picks up on the meaning before he does, and his face blooms with warmth. Along with his cock. ⎾ Uh– n-no– ⏌
⎾ Well... can I be the one to do it to you first?
(((...))
⎾ I mean... I'm not gonna act like I haven't seen it before. ⏌
Shu muffles a noise of embarrassment; he doesn't like that memory, and assumes Pomu doesn't, either.
((...))
⎾ I assume I would have to use some kind of... protection, but, uh... ⏌
⎾ Why? ⏌
Shu looks at her in confusion. ⎾ Wh... what do you mean, why? I know we're all different species, but, still... the risk... ⏌
⎾ Oh, did we never tell you guys? I thought we did. ⏌ Pomu absentmindedly kicked up her legs. ⎾ If you're worried about getting us knocked up, don't be. We don't work like humans. Lemme lay it down for you. ⏌
There was a pause as the fairy tried to think of how to start. ⎾ Uhh... so like... humans have a fertile period each month, right? Well... my fairy kind only has it once a year. Like in autumn. And Elira... Elira is only every five years or so. So even assuming that you could, you'd have a narrow window to do it. ⏌ She splayed out her fingers and started silently counting on them. ⎾ Most of our branch is like that, I think. Except Millie. And Reimu has no idea how it works for her either. But if you still don't feel sure, well, we can always ask for, y'know, custom shapes to get made for you. ⏌
⎾ Um– I-I'd rather not... take measurements for that. At the moment. ⏌ Shu vaguely recalls that the custom clothesweaving groups for isekai'd nonhumans offer condom services to accommodate all sorts of different shapes– but they did press that an internal one was the better choice for particularly unwieldy forms. His was rather simple, but... ⎾ I mean, like– you're sure, right? Of that time window? ⏌
⎾ Yeah. 'Cause we get the hormonal changes and lay eggs. Empty eggs, of course. I mean, I haven't seen any of them lay eggs yet, but they say they do too. ⏌ And impulsively, she adds, ⎾ Mine's still inside me, it only gets ready in spring when there are flowers to lay it in, and spring is only starting, so. TMI I guess. ⏌
(ch4 would go through a major revision as well; see plot on lustsick intro(
((prior to here, Shu was gradually getting comforted and encouraged about his new species side and getting used to being sexual and starting to navigate more intimate relationships. However, his mental progress gets dragged back to potentially worse than before when he reads online about people wondering if succubi and incubi were just harmless demons or if they actually sucked life out of those they fed from. The mere possibility that he could be slowly killing the people he loves or reducing their lifespan fills him with dread. He remembers how they feel a lot more drained when he feeds from them. So this part would go on about the mental spiral from that; he's no longer okay with having sex anymore, until he can either have confirmation it's not the case or somehow revert the incubus genetics... but he doesn't want to explain his fears and put the others in a position where they have to make the difficult decision of potential slow sacrifice versus keeping him healthy and fed.))
(((...))
(it's Shu's bday, everyone visits him in turns and hugs him n hes disgusted at the way his body reacts to them + the way partners try to decide on who should feed him; tries to hurt himself and hikarino takes the front forcibly, uki appears and recognizes its hikarino))
((maybe that wouldn't happen at all, different conflict trigger?))
(((...))
(he keeps kinda dissociating and hikarino tries to contact others about shit but shu manages to snap back to control to keep him from actually sending the messages)
(((...))
[ You helped us achieve this in the first place. ]
(i do NOT remember what this dialogue is referring to)
(((...))
Hearing their voices, happy and joyful, are a push that keeps him down this path. He has no right to steal any life from them.
(((shu travels off to countryside jp to talk with mythic folk and try to find any cure while also staying off the radar and isolating himself from his friends))
Elira sighs deeply when the gem returns a dead end, a signal that Shu's gems were blocking any attempts at teleportation from others.
(((from this point on is the big event get-together.
Shu wanted to keep up with isolation for as long as he could, unsure of everything other than "i don't want to hurt my friends". However, their branch was going to have a big event. When I envisioned this it was the second half of 2022, so I was thinking stuff like "maybe Ethyria could be having their 3D show".) Basically, all the 20 nijiEN would be in a special location together, with live feeds of at least two events in different spots of the house and a third feed for commentating/chilling. If Shu declined, it would make everyone more suspicious, so it was a damned if do, damned if don't type of situation.Of course, this is a terrible idea as Shu has been weeks without feeding and being in a place with many potential meals makes his starving horny body struggle to have any ounce of control. Once his control starts waning badly, he tries to escape, but others have already noticed something is wrong and won't let him.
in 2023 i decided for a different way for this whole part to go down, which is partially described in the prologue birthday chapter on the Lustsick that actually got posted. In the new version Shu would lose more control, shapeshift more, cause more destruction and it would take more to subdue him; he would attempt to fly out into the sky and escape and Elira would need to shift into full solar dragon form to be able to snatch him back. Only she or Selen out of the 19 would be able to manage that, maybe Vox too.
In this old version, it's a lot less harrowing and drastic and Pomu+Luca are the ones to feed him.))
⎾ Speak! You have words! ⏌ Fulgur insists.
Shu disagrees, he's a ball of raw emotions and coherent human thought is a nebulous concept.
The cyborg's warmth, his nicely shaped mouth so inviting, Shu could just trap his head between his thighs and–
NO!
Fulgur yelps as he's kicked back, Shu using the push momentum to lift off and attempt flight. Escape, escape–
Except he and his wingspan are way too big for an average lounge room, he can't quite keep it up and his wings topple several items off furniture, crashing and thudding noises rippling out.
There are yells whose sources feel blurred in his ringing ears.
He hardly has time to see the flash of an enlarging dragon hand and swaying purple hair before Selen grabs the front of his shirt in mid-air, claws nearly tearing it with the force she uses to slam him onto the ground. His wings flap out haphazardly, scraping on stray glass shards and knocked items, slamming painfully on wood and sofa edges.
⎾ Shu, calm the fuck down. I'll choke you out if you try anything. ⏌ Her voice is even, not a hint of fear for his sorcery.
The threat sends tingles throughout his body, desire to have that large tough hand wrapped around his neck, and he feels fucking disgusting.
He doesn't deserve them. They shouldn't have to put up with him. A ruinous, filthy creature.
His eyes have started to well up, and he tries to push back nausea, Selen's shape blurring in his vision. Shu wishes she'd just punch him, knock him out so he doesn't have to be awake anymore.
Maybe if he was enough of a threat– but he doesn't want to hurt them. He only wants to hurt himself.
Hazedly, the sorcerer notes pairs of opposing-sized hands and future-grade silicon coating helping his wobbly legs up, but he's hardly standing yet when he feels a strong arm grab him by the back of his shirt, even lift him up the floor for a split second.
⎾ Shu, how long? ⏌ Luca almost snarls, forcing the sorcerer to look at him. He is pissed.
Shu can't find his voice, can't push it through the lump in his throat, and– how could he even answer? Luca would hate the truth.
Shu hates himself more.
The silence of near-chokes and blubbers is already enough for Luca to know. ⎾ Guys, I'm taking him to his room. ⏌ And he straight up hoists Shu over his shoulder, an even easier feat when anger is flaring into his muscles.
And the others watch with some concern, hesitating on whether to follow or even say anything. Calling attention to it would mean the viewers might know something was up.
A few chat messages did echo, "wait, did Luca say something?" but they were lost in the chaotic scroll.
Luca glanced back when he heard footsteps as he walked up the stairs, finding Pomu trailing behind them. ⎾ Are you coming too? ⏌
⎾ He's not in good shape. I'm worried too, you know. If just three of us go missing for a while, it's not gonna raise enough suspicion. ⏌ The fairy argued, amber eyes determined despite a slight downcast from seeing a dear friend in that state.
They bring Shu into the bedroom, close the door (locking is out of the question), and it's not pretty.
The sorcerer feels highly anxious and self-destructive, shame and despair making him thrash and shout as soon as he's pinned to the bed. Luca puts his weight onto his chest, knees holding down his wings and hands shackling his wrists; Pomu sits on his legs and squeezes his tail to her body to prevent it from dangerously lashing. He's so weak from energy starvation that his struggles are effortlessly brushed off.
I ruined it, I ruined it, I don't deserve to be here, I'm disgusting, a disgusting burden–
A strondous slap echoes as Luca's hand collides with his genmate's face, flecks of tears bouncing off skin. ⎾ Get yourself together, Shu. We're here to take care of you. ⏌
The slap makes him let out a weak moan, limbs tingling. He hates that he's so filthy that his body reacted like that even amid all the distress. ⎾ Sorry. ⏌ He hiccups, his voice so pitiful it juts a wrench into the hearts of the blondes.
⎾ Don't apologize. I swear to God. ⏌ Pomu only leaves her position when she's sure Shu has stopped trying to get himself hurt. ⎾ I know what you wanna say about yourself. Don't say it. We love you and it hurts to see you treat yourself like that. ⏌
⎾ You should have told us earlier. That's dangerous, Shu. Why didn't you? You were doing so well before... coming to us when you needed... ⏌ Luca starts ripping off the sorcerer's clothes, until there was nothing to deter or dampen touching.
Shu can't think properly. Arousal and anguished gratitude and weakness and self-hatred rob him of clarity.
⎾ He's too weak right now. Let's give him what he needs first, alright? ⏌ Pomu glances at Luca, who's already undoing his own trousers.
⎾ Yeah. ⏌
000
⎾ They're not having a fucking threesome, chat. ⏌ Vox lied, putting on an annoyed expression. ⎾ You really think that if they were, Mysta would be sitting here instead of trying to join? ⏌
⎾ Hey. ⏌ The fox interjected, though he didn't seem that offended.
⎾ I'm pretty sure that if they were fucking y'all would be hearing the occasional really loud "POG!!" ⏌ Selen joked, chuckling for good measure.
( ⎾ We told you. Some shenanigans were had and some stuff broke. Shu hurt himself but he's fine. Pomu and Luca aren't fucking him, they're un-fucking him. ⏌
⎾ Ethyria will be back soon. There's a lot more happening in the background to keep things smooth than you imagine. On the meantime, don't forget to hit that Like! And that Subscribe! And that bell notification! Button! ⏌ Mysta made sure to give a wink for each of those recommendations, ⎾ On each of their channels. ⏌
⎾ You don't like breaks, chat? You don't like resting your eyes for a few minutes, grabbing something to drink, using the bathroom... "gamer bottle"? Noooo! ⏌ The lunar dragon near-shrieked.
With Vox, Mysta and Selen at the helm and their strong entertainer presences, it was easy to keep chat's near undivided attention while some of the others were a ways off to prevent the mics from picking up their conversation.
⎾ They seem fine in there, at least hearing through the door. ⏌ Fulgur informed as he returned from the stairs.
⎾ Can I check on him? ⏌ Rosemi asked.
⎾ Oh, baby... ⏌ Nina's tone spoke volumes.
⎾ What? ⏌ The rosette innocently questioned.
⎾ You could, but... ⏌ Uki trailed off.
Elira glanced around from her center-room position. She'd heard the ruckus that made them pause the Ethyria 3D side of the program, already having a sinking feeling, but arriving late and seeing the state of the room only confirmed her fears.
I should have– I should have–
Regrets now wouldn't do anything. The focus was on fixing all this. Currently, Petra was dabbing at the blood drops and smears on the floor, Sonny brooming up the broken glass, Alban putting the fallen objects back where he thought they might have been.
⎾ Okay, everyone. We went over this very briefly before, but... I think it's time we really opened up about it, made everything clear, for Shu's own good. ⏌ Elira spoke up. ⎾ So listen up. ⏌
The others went quiet.
⎾ So as previously stated, Shu is a species of... sex demon. Maybe part or half, who knows. ⏌
⎾ Wait, you never said "sex demon"! ⏌ A shocked and flustered Rosemi protested.
⎾ That's what it usually means when you say incubus or succubus. ⏌ Fulgur supplied.
⎾ Yeah. I didn't want to lay that on super obvious to save him the embarrassment, but we've reached a dire point here. ⏌ Elira sighed, recalling how drained he'd looked and how she'd decided then and there to confront him after the event. But things ended up coming to worse before that. ⎾ Sex demons aren't all the same, but Shu is of a kind that needs it to survive. He'll get super super weak if he doesn't have any kinda sex for a while and I don't think any of us wants to test what happens if he pushes that time. I think to avoid any ill effects he needs it... at least once a week or so. At least for now. ⏌
⎾ Every week? Holy moly. ⏌ Enna expressed.
⎾ So um... me and the boys, and... Elira, Uki, Pomu... We'd been taking turns taking care of him. ⏌ Ike explained, quietly.
⎾ You're having sex with him every week? ⏌ Millie was intrigued.
⎾ We try. But sometimes it's difficult with the schedules, and sometimes he can go on longer without, so we tried to negotiate it on a basis where he'd tell us what he wanted or needed or when. ⏌ Uki added. ⎾ We thought he was just getting more resilient since he wouldn't say anything, but now we see he's just been neglecting to take care of himself. 'Cause he says he doesn't want to fucking "burden" us or whatever the fuck. Bitch. ⏌
⎾ I don't get it. Can't he just like... masturbate or something? ⏌ Millie asked.
⎾ No. You need someone else. You think he wouldn't try that? ⏌ Elira crossed her arms over her chest. ⎾ I think we might need your help. Because he doesn't get it in that thick head that he doesn't have to be ashamed, that he can ask for help, that we want him to ask for help. It literally doesn't matter that it's sex. Or that he takes some energy from us. We need to normalize it for him as much as possible. ⏌
⎾ Wait a minute, wait a minute. But this is like... I remember this is kind of recent. Shu was not like that before. Something's wrong here. ⏌ Reimu piped up.
⎾ You're right. He wasn't. He had no idea of his species, either. I'm no expert on whatever he is, but it seems that something triggered the biological need cycle, in these past months, and his body started reacting. We don't know if there's any way to un-trigger it. ⏌
⎾ It's been very hard on him. He hasn't been taking it well because of all the shame, and we try to reassure him, but he keeps just... ⏌ Ike put a worrying hand on his forehead, shuffling the blue ends of his hair.
⎾ He was trying to really hurt himself there, that's why I tried to stop him. I'm sure he could have really harmed me or Selen if he tried but he was trying not to hurt us, I think. ⏌ Fulgur input.
(((...))
⎾ I would help. ⏌ Alban offered. ⎾ Also I'm going back to the broadcast so Selen can rest. ⏌
⎾ Yeah, I would help Shu-senpai, as backup. ⏌ Yugo added.
⎾ Me too me too! ⏌ Millie put up her hand.
⎾ I don't think anyone here would be opposed to fucking him. ⏌ Finana chimed.
⎾ But I'm bad at sex. ⏌ Enna muttered.
⎾ I'm not sure it matters if you're bad or good, it helps even if you can just be a hol– ⏌
⎾ Plans to be made, plans to be made. When Shu returns, and maybe the broadcast will be over by then, I want everybody back here. Then we talk. ⏌
(((...))
((Shu then returns from the feeding session, not starving anymore but still a mess. This first line is from Petra.))
⎾ Shu... I had to... clean your blood from the floor. Please never do that again. I never want to do that again. I don't care if I have to sit on your dick all day or something– I can't bear to see you get to that point. ⏌
⎾ W- what? ⏌ Shu was hit with the sheer whiplash of the penguin suddenly saying that.
⎾ They explained to us. About your nature, yeah? Everyone was worried about you. We want to help. ⏌ Yugo added.
Shu's spine chilled.
((...))
⎾ No! You don't get it! ⏌ ((() ⎾ W-what if I'm stealing your lifeforce? What if you end up dying if I have sex with you enough times? I-I don't... ⏌
Oh.
Oh.
⎾ Shu... you've been... starving yourself– because you think that every time you have sex with any of us, you're bringing us a step closer to death? Is that it? ⏌ Elira recalls how he'd been just before he left for his travels, the somberness and hesitation that made total sense now. ⎾ Is that why you suddenly became so single-minded about finding that "cure"? ⏌
The tension was thick, a webbing of hold on, wait just a minute about many things. If Shu was actually endangering them, that was something serious.
Pomu was not taking it well regardless, and she was not the best at holding her temper. ⎾ But you don't even know that! So you came back, and clearly you didn't find a cure, you just found some way to control the horniness for the most part or whatever, but you still needed to feed! You just pretended you got rid of it and didn't need us anymore, while you were, you were– ⏌
Elira's arms come to wrap around the fairy as she shakes.
⎾ Answer me, Shu! What were you trying to do?! You'd starve yourself, week after week, and then what?! Then what, Shu?! ⏌
The implication was clear and heavy.
The sorcerer was shaking too, eyes blurry with tears. ⎾ I... don't know... ⏌
(...))
⎾ Shu, I know a few sex demons, and I've never heard of that. I think that's just fictional villain stuff. ⏌ Finana offered. ⎾ And some are the type to like... you know, almost everyday, ⏌ The mermaid slapped her palm and fist together repeatedly in an obvious implication.
⎾ We have people from the other branches we can call here to ask, right? Debiru? ⏌
⎾ Nagao-paisen is an exorcist, I think he could help too. ⏌
(((...))
⎾ It'sh ungodly early, mothafuckas. What are all yalls on? ⏌ The little demon grumbled.
⎾ It's Shu. We need to ask about sex demon stuff. ⏌
⎾ So you were asking because you became one! You tried runnin' rounds on me, huh? ⏌
⎾ Please, your honor, he's seiso. ⏌
(((...))
⎾ We want to know if sex demons drain actual life force, and can eventually cause someone to perish just by feeding from sex with them enough times. ⏌
Debi's face scrunched up in puzzlement, as though they were hearing something preposterous. ⎾ Wha? That sounds like somethin' humans made up. There been any incidents or sumth? ⏌
⎾ No, no, no one has died. Or been close to that. It's just that we get tired after he feeds from us, and I guess he read that somewhere and is afraid that means we're getting like... time shaven off our lives or something. ⏌
⎾ Hm. Can I ask how the feeding works? Like, does he need semen, does he need penetration, does he need to make you climax, or is just a handjob already good? ⏌
⎾ I think it's from... almost anything, right? Shu? ⏌
⎾ Early on, even kissing already siphoned in a bit... so I don't actually need... orgasms, but they help. ⏌
(((...))
⎾ We are very sure that you are safe. But ninety-nine percent certainty is not enough for you, is it? So tell ya what, Shu, a week from now, you might be peckish again, we fuck. You feed from me, I'll analyze it. I can tell what some things feel like because of all sorts of demons trying to target me before. ⏌
)(((..)0
Uki's right eye glowed as he used psychic energy to aid in the carry, leisurely taking Shu with him to the parallel broadcast area.
(((..)
Uki made him look at all the nice messages scrolling up, chat members typing how happy and relieved they were to hear he was okay.
⎾ Thank you, chat... ⏌ Shu mumbled gratefully.
(((..))
Uki kept petting his hair, melodious hums sounding out of his throat. Alban fiddled with settings to add reverb to it, essentially turning this side of the broadcast into Uki ASMR.
[ i come from the chaos of ethyria rn and on this side of the house its just like a sleep lullaby lmao ]
(((((((...)))
⎾ I think you will grow some resilience over time. Like eventually just need to feed once every two weeks, maybe less. But right now, don't push it, okay? Don't wait for the fatigue to start setting in. There's no reason to fight it anymore.
I wrote this whimsically maybe like... one, two years ago? It was on a night when the HoloEN girls were doing some sort of unarchived karaoke relay, and Bae was singing some sad things while in a cheery setting and background which added to the fever dream aspect and flurry of unfinished emotions.
And then I ended up never sharing it because it's Sad and that's not how my content usually is, so my flavors of bad mental were trying to find some "window of appropriateness" of posting it (hint: that's not how anything should work and it just holds me back for no real reason).
And now it's here. Short sad ymdr with the underlying theme being Elira's long-reaching longevity.
(CW for alcohol and sads and a bit of blurry consent; no explicit stuff in this one)
⛅️ ☯️
Elira's always afraid of drinking too much.
Like this. Exactly like this.
Looking into the diamond shape of his eyes, purple with the overshade of blue, deep as the sky of so many past nights of watching shooting stars– her own too blurry with tears to see properly.
⎾ Elira? ⏌
She wishes she'd blink and he'd be gone, a figment of her imagination. Of her most dulcet dreams. Miracles aren't a thing, too good to be real, someone like you should stay a dream.
Her hands get shaky, opal scales among flushed skin, and she looks down at them to avoid him– but darkened fingers and magenta claws cradle and grip, settle the trembles.
The dragon was not expecting this, falling, falling like this. This vulnerability. A mortal.
Thoughts she always keeps pushed to the back of her mind, but the two of them are alone now and the alcohol's hitting her system hard.
⎾ Shu. ⏌ It's her voice, echoing it, and she hates that he has a name, that he has a face, that he's real and here and he's all she can think about.
⎾ Drink some more water. ⏌
She hates that he has a voice, that it's so beautiful, how it worms into her mind and gives her goosebumps.
⎾ I'm here. I'm here for you. ⏌
And that's the problem.
You shouldn't be here. In my life.
There's a lump in her throat, she can hardly breathe.
You're here now, but you'll be gone eventually.
Her nostrils catch blood; her claws digging into his hands, she'd hardly noticed. Why didn't he say anything?
⎾ Elira, breathe. It's okay. I can take you to bed. ⏌
Tears spill noiselessly, but she nods, accepts his gentle guiding.
A centuries-old dragon, gone through so much, yet she's breaking down.
Weak. Isn't that what love is? A weakness? Does she truly believe that? She's just terrified.
Shu holds her, he's saying words but they blur through her mind, as if the feathers of her headwings cloud them in cotton.
He smells so nice. He sounds so nice. He is so nice.
And he tastes so nice.
⎾ Elir– ⏌ His voice holds a bit of surprise against her lips, not expecting the kiss.
Her foggy starcross eyes are hardly open as she presses onto him harder, kisses him like the oxygen she needs is in his lungs.
The sorcerer tries to stop her; her roaming hands, the desperate way she tries to eat him up. ⎾ Elira, you aren't sober at all, I can't... ⏌
He's so caring, so attentive, so considerate– her heart just aches more.
⎾ Please. ⏌ She begs, and fresh tears spill over, comets of sheer feeling down scale-freckles. ⎾ Please, I don't want to think– I need these thoughts out. Please. Make me stop thinking. ⏌
Shu's back is on the bed, her strength enough to pin him, black-violet fanning out under his neck. His gaze is full of concern.
⎾ Please, Shu. ⏌
He'll do anything to get her tears to dry.
Later, as Elira lay barely conscious, having exhausted herself, she feels a featherweight of paper press against her forehead.
She's able to sleep without a single turmoiling thought.
the dergs! you can see how this wouldn't be very Twitter-friendly lol
I started doodling these on the first half of 2022, and never finished them other than Lazulight bc that's a big undertaking. At this point if I were to really do them I would modify some of their designs, but there's some here I really like. It was a simpler time,,,
FINALLY i have them posted after mentioning them so long ago, my brain is almost gaslighting itself about if i've shared them publicly or not
I've barely posted here this year– it's a shame since this kinda turnout is exactly one of the points I was wary about when considering making this tumblr in the first place but then I just went "fuck it" and now I've blinked and it's been two years already. hooooo boy
I've been busy the whole past while but I'm very close to finishing off my biggest Niji fic project (backstory plot aside). Though I'll talk more about Lustsick when it's actually done!
Unfortunately, I'm really unsure about any of my other niji drafts (there seems to be around 12 of them?), though "a lot of unfinished drafts" has been a staple for me in every fandom I've written for...
But I at least want to post some of the remaining brainrots and things I've mentioned before (like the now-old nijidragons unfinished arts, which I've scheduled for tomorrow!), so my disorganized butt won't feel like there's more things still "pending" that shouldn't be.
(I should definitely also update the pinned and main posts because oh man Iluna hasn't been the newest wave in a loooong time, and to explain/inform of ongoing inactivity.)
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In ur like isekai au thing would it just be that when they graduate its just them getting isekai'd a second time back into their original worlds?
I'm sorry that I've missed this all this time, anon! End of February and like all of March kind of a mess for me, but I should have checked. Thank you for asking!!
No, I really didn't think about any of them returning to their worlds. Or graduating to begin with, in my headcanon, since things work differently. It's very complex to think about in-depth. But in my AU, divine entities transferred them to Earth, they learned and struggled for a while and managed to get themselves into vtuber jobs.
Since that AU is "niji" focused, their niji designs are their true forms, and their previous vtuber designs were them trying things out safely without being themselves in a public sense. If they chose to stop streaming, they'd just continue their lives on Earth with a different job.
I know someone who has a bit of an AU where their actual physical forms are changeable with graduations+redebuts.
(i'll start using actual names of PLs for the rest of the explanation here (just a couple get direct connections), but it's skippable, I'm basically just doing vtuber author rambling at this point)
In that AU of theirs, for instance, Tora actually just shifts into Shu, stops being a cyborg and becomes a sorcerer. Loses the antenna and gets the wings, gets shorter, etc. Maybe even interchangeable shifting or being able to be half-shifted between the forms, and this would allow every character to be canon in that universe.
So Mint would probably become Pomu, then become Mint again. I wouldn't know about their "true origins" in this case though.
I have a Hanamori AU where they aren't actually on "Earth", thus never get isekai'd to it, and those are their true forms, without graduations. So Seigi, Chimon, Tora, Nova, Pearl, even other past friends like Mint, stay as themselves. And others like Kururin and Pascel don't graduate either.
my brain is still. not entirely wrapped up. it's sliding somewhere in a shadow of stages of grief yet it's like it hasn't dawned on me yet.
I will echo the little intro i'll place on the tweet to lead here since i can't post anything big there: "I had been ready to finally brush off the end-year-start-year mess and concoct some cute thankful post, but! we can never have good things, sometimes.
And collecting thoughts on same-day-no-i-have-not-really-proccessed-this isn't a smooth or complete proccess. (can this technically count as yet another detective leaving? with that outfit?)"
and yes i am writer guy, i write things, so yes i have to write this. that just makes sense. and i can't make it too long or detailed or else i really will feel things and that's hardly anything i'm ready for.
Pomu is my fav niji girl after Elira. I'd specifically look out for her Unarchived karaokes, and I'm happy with having recorded some of the songs in those for myself. I could sing her praises for some lines in regards to her talents for singing, entertaining, creativity, cuteness, and so on. And this being such a hit on Lazulight too. ugh. ughh.
I'm not gonna lie, i'm not abysmally shocked, but she's such a powerful pillar that her lack of presence will just. It's a difficult comparison. She is SUCH a pillar for this group. She's always helped connect and keep things together. I still distinctly remember how in Nina's graduation streams, Pomu, Elira and Shu were willingly pushing back their own appearance times in order to let others have it first and helping organize things behind the scenes. And this is far from the only thing but. memory. its been a couple years of things.
I find her design and character art to be among the best if not the best overall out of all of them in EN. All of it. Name? Great. Voice? So good. Part of me hopes she might at least come back as… yeah. Just a copium to not have to keep track of so many names and designs, really. And I'm upset she didn't get to have a collab with Fauna,,, that's all gonna have to be proccessed. slowly.
i'm gonna miss collabs. so so bad. lazulight, elipomu, pshu, MLP, lunarfairy, fujosanji, with uki….. and claude just got here!!! claude just barely got here!!! ugh. ugh. after mika and all the other IDs i thought we could rest for some time.
and. of course. i still have to proccess more to see about my plans. like the sketch acc for instance. i was sort of relying on something like this not happening so soon to keep my chin up about doing something new like that. but the writing i currently have going, of course I'll push through with that.
I really wish her the best and I know she can achieve more. I'm rooting for her happiness. I'm rooting for hope. I've had a lot of starkly different rollercoaster feelings over the past months of simultaneous bouts of hope and despair and it hasn't been doing my mental a lot of favors but!! here we are! here's to future tears. here's to days of probably saving up some VODs for safety backup. here's to trying not to think too much about it.
[ concepts / ideas but semi-prose also || 🦅☯️🔮⛅️🐧 | tentacle solos ]
> Lethal Company simulation AU
This is the much bigger concept (we're talking over 1.5k words). Even though i got this thought at like 5am on a saturday... on the 9th to be precise, i think i learned later it's sort of a low hanging fruit bc tentacles, which makes sense.
The SEUP+Claude group... okay, at this point they have likely done some extent of stuff with each other or else this would be infinitely more awkward and difficult to imagine.
(this kinda jumbles some game mechanics for plot purposes too; and their suits for this part work as usual hazmat suits except without a helmet)
in short: each of these 5 get tentacle sexed by boss monster.
The game simulation match does not go well for them. They keep fumbling and being unable to bring back loot for the space company quota. They get to meet the Boss (the hidden tentacles) to present him with their flimsy findings despite knowing they're basically fucked at this point.
Elira is brave and places down a rubber ducky on the counter and rings the bell.
Boss already semi-omnisciently knows they're doing badly and the shitty ducky is undeniable proof. He grabs Elira with the largest tentacle and other tentacles also come out. It's a simulation so they're not in true danger but the others still dash closer to try to defend her, but they can't make the tentacles budge.
The big one is not trying to bring her into the void or anything so she's confused until one of the appendages rubs some sweet scented slime on her neck and on her face and makes her feel a bit woozy and a lot calmer and warmer (this REALLY is tentacle fic territory now). A smaller limb with a sharp tiny hook rips meticulously into her suit, forcing a large opening that gets her breasts to spill through. Everyone else jumps at this and Elira is embarrassed, but the feeling only fuels the growing warmth as a tentacle wraps over her bosom and squeezes onto it, and because of the little haze she's in it feels a lot better than it should.
Elira is entirely trapped and the tentacles keep groping her, squeezing, the small hooked one slicing a careful hole on the outfit right between her legs and from the bottom of her tail which frees her dragon bits to the cool air. One monstrous limb penetrates her already aroused (meow sfx) and another strokes her cock.
By this point Claude, Petra, Shu and Uki are blushing pretty hard and totally unsure what to do with themselves. Uki is less affected but the others are getting rly hot and bothered despite the fact they should maybe be worried. But Elira moaning and writhing while the tentacles service her is so. hot. She even licks dutifully when one starts toying with her mouth. Her pupils have gone pink and heart-shaped.
And ultimately she cums hard with her wings fluttering and flapping and tail going crazy. And after the tentacles leave her alone, Claude catches her before she can topple over bc her body feels like goo with the aftershocks. She nuzzles and leans into him making crooning noises, and Shu tries to help uprighting her too.
⎾ Girl, focus. ⏌ Claude tries even though he's feeling some kinda way.
⎾ Nooo. ⏌ She protests foggily.
⎾ Are you okay? ⏌ Shu asks.
⎾ Shuuuu... ⏌ she drawls out his name in a needy way and spreads her legs, pushing her crotch out. ⎾ Please... want... ⏌
Shu gently closes her legs back up but his face is on fucking fire. He kinda coughs, ⎾ um, you'll, you'll be okay. ⏌
A ding sounds out and the more sober members look at the over-counter screen and see their profit margin has gone up. Kinda significantly.
⎾ Wait, he fucked her and counted it as an increase for us? ⏌ Uki points out.
Petra does quick girlmaths. ⎾ Actually... if that's true... then if each of us five does that... we will have just enough for the quota. ⏌
Uki kinda wants to joke about Elira being worth more and maybe he won't give as much for a small penguin but the Boss wouldn't give them false hope, right?
Also Uki really... wants to experience what Elira did. And the tentacles are still hovering there, waiting.
⎾ Let's test that. ⏌ so of course the psychic walks right into their reach and lets themself get wrapped up.
He understands right away when the sweet ooze gets on him as well. Soon they're helpless (and loving it) while the tentacles rip into their suit and start mapping their skin with assorted textures. He leans heavily on the bigger tentacle and bends over willingly, pupils already heart shaped from the scented goo. The same tentacle that went inside Elira goes inside Uki (equality LMAO) and rams his twink booty. He is an enthusiastic slut about how good it feels.
And as with Elira, it gets the others squirmy to watch. Especially with the thought they might have to get through it too or risk some unknown punishment.
⎾ I mean, they look like they really enjoy it. ⏌ Petra comments while Elira, still heart-eyed and woozy, gropes at her chest (and Petra doesn't mind since. Elira)
⎾ You'd want it if you thought some pretty long haired dude was behind those tentacles, right? ⏌
⎾ Shut up, Claude!! ⏌ (yes she would)
When Uki is done Shu has to help him properly stand. The psychic is also overtaken with the supernatural sweetness. ⎾ B-boy..smell... ⏌ and Shu has to stop his attempted touches from getting too bold as Uki buries their nose into his neck and flusters him.
Petra steps forth kinda reluctantly but boy are the long haired hot bishounen thoughts helping. And then by the time she gets the sweet goo she's even more gone into the fantasy of being temporarily captive to some tragic backstory monster boy who's eager to sexually devour her.
Elira starts getting back to her senses and she's embarrassed but also like "oh, so this is happening to all of us huh" and Shu explains the profit-quota situation while Claude is busy with a psychic rubbing up on him asking to get fucked. And Elira gives a heavy swallow (what's this leftover flavor?) bc Petra's bare breasts and coochie are now in her vision and those little penguin squeals are so sexy. Shu and Claude are also not holding up super great bc they're both booba lovers and between Elira and Petra that's a lot.
The dragon has to pick Petra up from the tentacles after an intense climax and the profit marker dinging up. The girl keeps babbling about how hot Elira is and how she wants to kiss her. After vaguely seeing about the goop thing Elira doesn't think that's a good idea right now, they need more sober ppl. When Elira puts Petra down the pengy turns to Shu with a whine of his name and tries to rub her head onto his crotch and he has to step back and keep her stable.
Claude knows Shu probably wants to delay this so he gets the next turn and he. is. noisy. He's already so stiff when his crotch fabric is sliced through and he twists about as he gets the same treatment as Uki of being jacked off and back-penetrated, liberally moaning as his eyelids flutter over the heart pupils.
At this point Uki is recovering from the trance too and he can just say "wow. wow"
He and Shu help Claude wobble along after he's orgasm-wrecked and the cleric is an expected mess, especially with how fast he is verbally, just slurring words about the boys around him and asking them to give him more, "haha you're so sexy, um, please, please, please a hand, a dick, anything, i have a mouth, i have a hole, i can sing and kinda dance–"
tho when he's close to Elira he just smushes his face right into her breasts and groans happily at their pillowy essence. Elira laughs. She can't judge bc the goo made her act like that too.
All the profit increases have been the same number so if it doesn't change for Shu, they'll reach the quota after him for sure. So he steps into the tentacle reaches despite unease, having seen this enough times by now to know what to expect. He wants whatever the heart-eye effect is first but the Boss doesn't give it to him yet so he gets to feel the (yummy) brunt of shame for getting his whole chest and crotch exposed first.
And then the slime and scent gets rubbed on him, and he's getting stroked and breached and made to service one tentacle orally, as with the others. His dick being tentacle-shaped too makes it subconsciously try to wrap around the one jacking it off and the witnesses find that cute and hot. It becomes more of a messy wriggling session down there than a proper jack-off.
Uki is trying to keep Claude in check (and accepting the woozy affection too) so Elira goes get Shu when he finishes and those heart eyes just look rly good on him and the way he wobbles and looks out of it is like when he's drunk. He also goes right into pressing his face onto her breasts while saying her name in a cute way. It briefly makes Elira think of having him and Claude each on one of her boobs but she really can't be thinking about that now but gosh. Shu also tries lowering himself and Elira has to stop him from putting his mouth on her– ⎾ okay that's really nice that you wanna go down on me but just behave now, please. ⏌
Shu keeps being whiny and needy and his cock keeps wiggling for attention as he tries to call on each of them. Petra has to use all her just-gotten soberness to not just sit on him when he starts with little begging "nee-san..." calls with that pout of his. She and Elira briefly exchange looks bc actually Claude is still slime-woozy too and it'd be really hot to let Shu and him absolutely go at each other in that state...
But the number-up ding distracts them and surely enough, the Boss has taken their climaxes as a bribe successfully and their quota is met. Capitalism is defeated (not really). The Boss just slinks away and everything is fine, and the five are just left to somewhat awkwardly walk back to ship with their precise clothing rips. And it's brighter inside the ship and they have to be close in that smaller space so it's... aaaaaaaa. It is something. They're also all sticky with assorted fluids. Lowkey I wanted them all to share a shower but there's no way there's a shower space big enough for them in that ship. Though I'd love them being cute about a shared shameful situation, especially if it drags on like if any of the boys or Elira end up accidentally getting erect again hhh. So many possibilities. my brain is not infinite.
Ok! I have a couple of Lethal Company scenarios already written down because oh boy that nijiseup+claude stream. Content. and this is a very small and simple one, and also, it's not my fault that we have all these open clawmino enjoyers among the livers LMAO
(as for the other brainrot i'll try to schedule it for another day. it's..... a looot longer and more detailed than this and uki is there too)
Petra and Elira are returning from a haul. They're kinda mad that those two back at the ship were being useless and not giving them comms. Elira gets close to the base ship and is about to go "HEY" but Petra stops her. ⎾ Shh. Can you..? ⏌ and indeed, there's some noise. The door is closed partway with some piled up loot. They glance through and it's just. Claude and Shu. Fucking.
Doesn't matter who's on top. The girls just freeze up because they are SO obvious about loving their yaois, of course they're eating this up. They watch quietly and hungrily.
Shu says through rough panting, ⎾ we should... probably check... mm, on them... ⏌ and Claude counters with a ⎾ It's fine, it's– ah, 's fine, we can... ⏌ and they keep at it because it feels too good to stop. They are Young Boys who are NOT big sex havers though, so they don't really last long beyond that anyway. They look to the side at the screens. And then their stomachs fuckin drop because Elira's and Petra's sensors are shown to be at the door. They were not there before. Well.
and ill leave that hanging bc its funnier and otherwise its too much rot for a silly little scen.
the past like 5 days have been staying out with family, then break day when back home, then immediately getting sick. still not okay so far. im hoping it clears up soon so i can actually do stuff :<
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its late time to post unhinged stuff
So. When TTT debuted.... I was in Maia's stream hoping she'd do a watchalong, and she did. And. This fairy. Omg. Claude's section had barely started and she already began espousing the reasons why Claude and Shu would go nicely together. And proceeded to be very much into the ship throughout. And wants fanart. I loved that. She's so real for that.
so do I really need to explain what inspired this lmao
concept:
Shu and Claude are hopconning in the couch next to each other and Maia is seated on the chair (sofa-chair? english??) close by. She's not big on playing FPS herself but oh boy does she like to see these boys be nice and focused and do effective comms with each other, give each other those little reassurances after every loss, laugh together like fools, cheer the other on about nice plays–
So yeah she ends up staring a lot more at them than at the screen(s?). And they notice. Shu doesn't mind, Claude is more "deeply" aware of some things, as y'know, someone who has been in active BL conversations (shoutouts to solar sky dragon but also Maia herself). He and Shu are not big on PDA as boyfriends, but it doesn't mean they couldn't, more that they haven't tried that a lot.
So at one point when they're both down on a match with no revving allies, Claude goes ⎾ Hey, hey. At me. ⏌
And Shu looks at him, curious, and Claude gives him a smooch on the cheek. Which flusters him for a second. Maia's feathery ears perk up immediately. (no she doesn't have them canonly but yknow everyone is a furry in my heart)
Claude proceeds to continue to drop affectionate gestures and Shu picks up on it, initiating them too. Maia is thriving. ⎾ You two... ⏌
It clicks in Shu's mind, one of the reasons Claude has started this. He doesn't disagree.
Now let's say Claude has been stealing a few kisses on Shu's mouth at this point, and Maia is a happy giddy fairy, and her cute joy is contagious and makes them all the more comf about all this. And then Claude gets a 3k-4k clutch as the 12th round ender and they both get the final smoothly. And Shu is so excited about his play that he kisses Claude hard.
And Claude kisses back just as hard and Shu forgot he has a tongue piercing and frick.
Maia's little tail is fanning like crazy. She is not blinking. Her face is getting as warm as theirs while they make out.
Claude forgets himself for a moment and reaches down to cup Shu's crotch (he's already half-mast) and Shu chokes a bit into the kiss and Claude retracts. ⎾ Oh fuck, uhh, my bad. I mean, you okay with this? ⏌
And the cleric glances meaningfully at the hummingfae and Shu goes ⎾ Well... yeah... ⏌ because it's not like Maia hasn't seen their dicks before (do I have a story or explanation for this? nope. but i can't make this work otherwise bc these boys are kinda timid with that).
And she swallows nervously (she is thirsty) and says ⎾ Well, I am very okay with this. ⏌
So the boys end up jacking each other off while she watches. Slickened hands and warm cocks just barely out of each other's clothes, heads leaning together, rapid motions and quick breaths. They're really not very exhib about it, room's not super bright right now, but Maia has zero complaints. She feels out of breath. She has to curl her hands at her thighs to control herself because heat is pooled so thick on her right now. Especially because Claude and Shu keep kissing like damn you're going at it but you're still so sweet and amorous like!! Homies!! Goddamn!!
When they cum they get a bit more properly embarrassed again. and maia lowkey highkey wants to ask if she can clean them up. with her tongue. anyways im normal–
okok I ended up never saying anything since late oct on TTT debut bc I'm a mess always but uhhh to not drop stuff out of nowhere…
I haven't been catching up with recent waves (or even doing much content catching up in general. so many people and so busy) but. Claude. Claude…… yeahhhh he needs to get bent over a desk. lovingly. affectionately. aggressively.
They got him the eagle motif so I could make him a bird furry to an extent but the q is…. does he get a nonhuman dick?? should I give him one??
[ writing related ]
bro I tangented so hard in the Nina oneshot with the dialogue (they talk a LOT, it's like half a therapy sesssion half a smut session) that it got much bigger than my average for these. how did that happen. this is why i don't qualify as a professional writer LMAOO
I should maybe probably give some update about the incubus fic since it's what I've been pouring most focus on writing-wise so far and will likely continue to do so until i can finish it.
The actual big plot setup part is gonna be in limbo forever because it's too monumental a task in multiple ways, as I've mentioned, but the part with the oneshots is like this so far:
11 are properly done and I can leave them be. 8 left to revise or finish.
I finished Petra's, spruced up and finished Rosemi's, added a lot more detail to Luca's (kinda doubled wordcount). Pomu's is done now.
Still need to revise Elira's and Uki's and properly finish them. Did a lot of progress on Finana's after like a whole year of feeling some writer's block about it. Vox's is close to done (it's a complex one, not the least of reasons being that Reimu gets involved and more characters = more difficult, so I end up with blocks about getting it done too). Started up + did some progress on Nina's and Alban's over the past month. Fulgur's still in progress since forever. Ike's not really started.
The intro chapter (which has a ton of cameos) is getting pretty big. I still haven't figured out some crucial things about it. I finally figured what to do for the closing epilogue thing though.
Ok I'll be honest I had been more confident before writing this down LMAO knocking on wood about being able to finish before next year at this rate...
plus something else writing-wise also tugging at me which like
it's the autism making my brain go on Hanamori fixation and wanting to write a whole lore-heavy slowburn ☄️🕹 fic and I am not a multichapter slowburn kinda writer but that sure doesn't stop the impulsive writing. can this enthusiasm and energy be put into academically or professionally relevant things instead?? brain says no. :'))
I got this idea a while back and now I'm finally sharing– been actually sharing pretty little of all the brainrots I've been getting, though to be fair, if I did share at around the pace my brain goes, this acc would look like it's just for ymdr lmao
still, a little treat since I haven't been posting a lot even though I'm doing plenty of writing behind the scenes,,,,
Shu dealing with stuff on his computer, Elira comes into the room. She's a bit meek, slow, quiet, but her stride is very purposeful. He says a casual "hi" and she just buries her face onto the back of his head. She muffled-mumbles a dragged out "Shuuuuu" without bothering to take her face out of the mess of his hair, and he tries to get her to speak up, "what's up? need something?" and she's quiet for a little bit, shyness trying to rear its head in again, but something else speaks louder than that.
She admits, ⎾ I read fanfic. ⏌ , which is very vague.
⎾ Was it good? ⏌
⎾ Y-yeah... ⏌
At this point Shu doesn't know if maybe she read something angsty and needs comfort (not a rare thing), is just feeling giddy and lovey and wants to cuddle (also not rare), or–
⎾ It was... really really good ShuAke... like really really good... ⏌ there's a bit of a subconscious breathy tone to her voice and that is a major hint.
⎾ The Persona 5... ⏌ and Shu is already off-focus from his task because Elira on brainrot mode about her favorite videogame boys is super cute and important.
⎾ Yeah, I'm sorry, I just don't know what to... what to do with myself. I'm so– ⏌ and she's too embarrassed to just say it now even though it almost slips her mouth and she just grabs his wrist and pulls it closer to herself, lets it press to the tenuous bulge at the front of her–
⎾ Oh. ⏌ Shu swallows, his heart leaping. ⎾ That kind of fanfic. ⏌
Elira already grinds onto his hand a little. ⎾ Y.. yeah. I couldn't put it down. And I can't, uh, put this down either. ⏌
Shu starts softly petting her there, and says ⎾ okay, come here. ⏌
This absolutely ends with her sitting on the edge of his desk, his setups pushed back for her, legs spread as he diligently eats her out. While also stroking her dick. She turns into a puddle. (she also attempts to shove her tail between his legs to try to stim his crotch too but be clamps his thighs down on it to prevent her. he doesn't want distractions.)
And then after she cums and he drinks it down for her, Shu lets her be a cozy lapsitting cuddler, but it's kind of a 50/50 whether she'll let him work in peace or try to get him hard for her so she can cockwarm him.
(and it's a really damn cute thought too to imagine the two of them in the deep of night, post-sex, Shu snoozing away as he spoons her, his soft cock still buried inside her as a comfy presence, while Elira reads fanfic on her phone to put herself to sleep.... and if she reads the spicier stuff she gets a bit squirmy on him.... aaaaa)
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it's heartwarming how multiple people are doing celebratory stuff for 🕹's birthday...
truthfully I've been writing a lot about him because I've been down bad stupid atrocious this whole year but all the brainrots and drafts are a mess so not much of it is getting shared
Ewiwa birthday also happening so, sanity is Not high right now
maybe i can actually finish these before the new year. i sbeve...
I already knew what I wanted for Millie's prompt from the beginning, there was only one real choice. And then I finally started getting it down. In a way, I'm glad I didn't get to hers before because of all the wild things Millie has pulled since last year, which allowed me to add a bit more flavor to things here.
And last year I also saw a fic on ao3 by rookgaytor; i didn't actually read it but i glanced over the tags and it mentioned Lucie being able to make Millie into a shadow creature, and then my brain just got attached to the concept except visualizing her as a shadowy goo monster in that form instead. Partial goo shifting.... spoilers...
my brain too mush to think of more to say atm. there is a little hint of angst due to their backstories here. also got the cat features from Millie's 2nd outfit.
– – –
Shu is confused at first about how dark the room is – there's no way she's forgotten in under twenty five minutes – until Millie greets his question with an "I'm here!"
He can see well in the dark, and so can she, with the whole thing of being part demon and cat due to the bond with Lucie. Not that she fully needs it to see he's there, as the glow of his womb tattoo and his crown of flames are a dead giveaway.
The witch is buried under blankets, presumably because it feels rather cold, and she lifts them up to invite him in. Shu accepts it, huddling close.
Millie's been practicing some magic again, trying to regain powers she'd seemingly lost and gave up on when she came to this world. Shu has been trying to help, to some extent, as their forms of magic are rather different.
One thing she has not touched upon yet is fire spells, and Shu's not too sure about teaching her those.
They don't mind the cold, truly– it's stifling heat that gets to them, gets them to feel harrowing unease, neurons still distantly recalling their near-deaths in roaring flames.
A somber thing to share, really– but cozy warmth and lust heat don't trigger those, thankfully.
⎾ I got stuff ready. ⏌ Millie informs, and in pressing closer, Shu recognizes she's bare from the waist down. That already paints a faint flush on him, incubus nature very interested in it.
⎾ Can I...? ⏌
⎾ Yeah, whatever you're asking, you can. ⏌
Shu roams hands down her body, her words an inkling that lead a quick travel over waist and hips before he curves to her bottom, a finger delving ever so cautiously into the cleft of her butt, and the girl helps with slight manual spreading; it's all wet there, her hole lube-slicked.
It had been a joke, at first. "You can tap my ass for real now!", a witchy cackle had echoed, a pause from Shu as he recalled that whole conversation from so long ago, and then her interest in trying it out. And then it wasn't a joke anymore and by now Millie genuinely prefers anal over half the time. Or, at least, it's what she has specifically requested for the few times since the first. Somehow, it just seems to fit her.
The incubus doesn't really mind either way. If it's how his partner prefers it, he'll do it.
⎾ I'm ready for you, mister Yamino. ⏌ She exaggerates a bit on sultriness.
⎾ Don't call me that. ⏌ He knows she does it to hear a rebuttal in a more flustered voice, but he hasn't been able to escape it so far.
Millie grins and leans in to smooch him, her hands traveling down his body to tug his shorts and underwear down and off. She then cradles his dick, giving it some rubs to help coax it out of its sheath fully, feeling it harden as they kiss more.
Sometimes Millie is still in disbelief about this. Of course, she hates the events that led to Shu needing their help in this way, all that he had to struggle through and the sheer worry they all shared, but this is...
Okay, yeah, she was down bad for a while, and she is very unsubtle about all her attractions, and she's very damn happy to be able to do things like kiss and have sex with him. She knows she's not really special or anything, he hasn't declined help from anyone in their group, but babu makes her feel special enough as is; though she wonders if there are partners he doesn't wanna get mushier with. She's so mushy sometimes.
Shu starts to toy with her breasts, because that's where his hands seem to like the most, where they automatically gravitate to when idle and in a situation like this. And Millie enjoys that quite a bit, but the rising pleasure from it just makes her want to... dive into the main course.
The witch shuffles and turns around, and the sorcerer picks up the cue. Her tail motions up, caressing his abdomen, as she pushes her rear back a bit– the heat she'd just been stroking wiggles between her plump cheeks, the narrow tip guiding itself as he brings his hips flush to hers, the lube easing the insertion as Shu cuts off a small moan at the pressure and Millie mewls.
This is not the wisest position, they're both side-laying with the blankets over them, covering the lewd sights beneath, but Shu can still move; angling her slightly more on top, lifting her leg, he motions his hips into a rhythm.
⎾ Mmmnn... that... that's hot– huuhg..! ⏌ The witch squirms; he's not overwhelming, doesn't have the heart to be a demolisher like some of Luxiem she'd had experiences with, but she gets large-ass moths making a ruckus in her stomach at the thought of how he would be like at the brink of incubus starvation. Of course, they all would never let him get to that point again, he doesn't deserve to go through it, but the mental image of him being a true uncontrolled sex demon was still tucked in her fantasies.
But she's soft too, she likes him being cute, and he is sooo cute, less shy than in the beginning but still adorable. His panting breaths by her cat ears, the way he just cozily bounces her despite her being able to take so much worse (she can cheat, to be honest), how he doesn't quite dig claws into her as he holds her thigh and fondles her boobs.
In this position, the slickness from her pussy trickles down to her butt, joins the little growing mess of lube and precum on his bits.
She fetches her wand, the modern one, and switches it on a lower setting. Although she's discovered she can cum just from her ass (thanks Luca), it's still more pleasurable and easier to get there by stimulating her sexual bits. Naturally.
And, okay, Millie does become more whorish when she starts feeling this good; as she rubs the toy on herself while slowly cranking the intensity, Shu's thrusting helping her clit continually push onto the smooth vibing surface, she gets loud. She mewls and moans and wraps her cat tail around his leg,
Her voice pitches into something, and it's like dripping nectar but also like the flower housing the sweet substance has been fallen on the ground for a while. ⎾ Shuuu~ I'm gonna meow for you~ yuh~ ⏌
The boy shifts his grip to haphazardly put a couple fingers over her mouth. ⎾ Millie. I'm going to go soft. Please don't talk like that. ⏌
A brief pffft gets past her lips and onto his fingers, amused; it's fun, but she gets it.
She definitely won't let him soften, though– she drives the wand lower, until it's flush with his ballsack, and Shu's entire body quakes briefly. He lets out a really handsome moan, and it pitches cuter as the witch softly massages the vibe on his sheath and balls. Excitingly, it makes him hump a bit faster, less composed.
Millie keeps gradually shifting the toy's position to stimulate herself and him, which doesn't take much moving; and they're both moaning messes now, wet smacks echoing under the sheets, the witch's rim repeatedly stretching around his thicker base as he pistons. She can feel his wings flap behind her back, the weight of his hand on her breast with each intake of breath that pushes her chest out, and she can absolutely come like this no problem, but the filter for her words and actions is already a faulty one without adding hornybrain to the fray.
Thusly, impulsively, the blonde "melts" down her vaginal walls and entrance a little, partially shifted into dark demonic goop, making them extra malleable just as a precaution, and promptly shoves the wand inside with a near screech of delight. It goes in utterly effortlessly and causes a ruckus in her core with the vibrations, and she doesn't know if those vibrations can even physically just translate through the wall to her ass, but she swears Shu cried out when she did that, and god, she hopes so. She hopes the vibrations are getting to his cock.
They don't last long after that, Millie's body tensing as she releases a long cattish yowl, shudders coursing down to her toes, and she grips down hard on Shu; he slows in motions, stuttery, long dragged noises belying the pleasure peak as he unloads into her. The witch squirms at the sensation, heated and messy and good, and– she has to scramble to pull the toy out to reduce then cease the vibrations because it's getting to be too much now.
Their bodies come down from the frenzied heights, untensing and letting the myriad of aftersensations just settle on their limbs.
⎾ Holy shit. ⏌ Millie pants out. ⎾ Holy fuck. ⏌ She lets her head bob back and lay over Shu's shoulder.
⎾ You... okay...? ⏌ The sorcerer is pretty sure she is, but he finds it important to check.
⎾ Yeah. I came so hard. Uuugh. ⏌
Shu hadn't seen exactly what she did, but he can connect the dots pretty well. He'd have been concerned about her physical wellbeing and resilience if he hadn't seen her turn into an actual, literal puddle of goo a fair amount of times before.
The girl pokes at one of his wings. ⎾ Mm... can we go again in a bit? ⏌
Shu groans, recalling her vigor is so high that even his draining doesn't phase her much. Her demonic bond with Lucie is very clear in times like these. ⎾ Okay... do you need me to just stay.... ⏌ He trails off as Millie starts pulling on his arm and wiggling, attempting to turn them both over using just her base human physical strength. (It doesn't work.)
⎾ I want you to suffocate me against the bed! C'mon Shu! ⏌
Shu rolls his eyes, though there's a hint of amusement quirking his lip as he holds firmer onto her and just rolls over, resting his full weight down on her petite frame while still well embedded in her ass. She lets out a muffled "oof". He's just laying on her to rest, not doing anything.
