phantom thief of fucks to give

So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.

An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”

Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.

What I mean when I say I like a villain:

To add to the first list:

Bonus addition:

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

character in a fight scene: *pins their opponent down by straddling their waist and holding their wrists to the floor*

character in a fight scene: *lifting their disarmed opponent’s chin slightly with the business end of their weapon*

This has the same power

Baby boomers: why don’t millennials just work 2 jobs?

Millennials: so we’ll get the schedule two weeks in advance right?

My brain: I sure would like to make some new friends