Work in progress....

Enjoyed the beautiful morning on a six mile walk around Lake Galena with my lil dude! Then a little picnic lunch of salad and leftover baked turkey breast for me, lots of water.....and sweat.

People buy lots of crappy food for the nursing staff.

....to cheese fries And ate my hardboiled eggs instead

284 (le sigh) Goals for this weekend: Hydrate properly drinking water and tea Eat only what I pack for myself for work No fast food on the ride to or from work Goals for the rest of the week: Gym on M,W,F Take the baby for a long walk on T&Th

Here I am again. I feel gross, terrible, fat, unhealthy, incapable. There is this weight on my chest and abdomen that I feel when I walk around, it has to be fat and inflammation pushing me down. And shame. It's succeeding. I feel so low. I have been here before many, many times. Posting about my weight loss plans. Yet, here I am again. Obviously it didn't work...more on that later. I feel sick, diseased. It's quite scary actually. What is stopping me? I feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work to be done. It's daunting to even consider this weight loss task again. But I really need to change my life. I have a beautiful 7 month old son. I'm 35 later this summer and my feet hurt all day, every day. I'm out of breath. God help me when my son starts walking and I have to keep up. My biggest fear, aside from premature death, is missing out on life (his and mine) because of my repeated poor choices. If I don't make these changes how long do I really have before something happens to me? Diabetes. Heart attack. Stroke. Cancer. It could be any of these and I wouldn't be surprised. Don't let me mince words here, I could lose 125 lbs and still be overweight. My best guess is that I'm around 285, maybe even 290. Fuck, I have a lot to do.