little loveless

x

Karim snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly what a werewolf would say. Try to throw everyone off the scent and shit. What were you doin’ on the last full moon, huh, pal?” He looked them up and down, raising his eyebrow. “I can rock with elf prince, though, sure. Me? I’m just a worm. But what? Do I remind you of the babe?”

He laughed, although he had only seen the movie he was evidently quoting once and was not even really sure he was saying it all right for the jokes to land. He wrinkled up his nose. “Sheesh, incubus sounds scary as fuck too, pal. Like, I know that was a line, and I’m not bursting your bubble, I swear. But I feel like maybe I’m the Billy Joel in the ‘Uptown Girl’ situation, you know? I do the dark alleys.” He clicked his tongue. “Besides, you keep sayin’ nice shit about me, you won’t actually need any magic, you know? That’s reason enough for me to skip work.” 

Karim rolled his eyes again. “You and me first, huh? You asking me out? Right in the middle of this workday where nothing cool ever happens to me? Shit. What if I told you this whole lightbulb thing was just a clever ruse to get passersby with good hair to stop and chat me up, huh?” He smiled. “Hypothetically, yeah, I’d be interested in seein’ a werewolf-slash-elf-prince outside this hallway. He’d have to go wipe the hair off ‘em somewhere where I won’t have to sweep it up, though.” 

˙ ˖ ✶karim

“scent? hmm, isn’t that a term a werewolf would use?” kian shot back at the other guy. “oh you know just howli...i mean looking for a way to serenade you outside your window, couldn’t find the right instrument.” he giggled. “good, cause that’s me just your normal run of the mill elf prince. you a worm? doubt it. not with that face, that smile, those eyes. definitely giving me something cool like vampire or warlock.”

“a sex demon isn’t that scary, all you gotta do is throw holy water on them, i think?” kian was definitely not sure of however it was that it truly worked but it did seem hilarious to him nonetheless. “so what you’re saying is that you’re gonna try with me? well i can keep the nice words coming as long as you keep smiling at me like that.” he smiled. “so you were definitely not just using the lightbulb as an excuse to get me to come talk to you? maybe even in the hopes of asking you out, right?”

“well, we can definitely work with that,” kian giggled, coming closer to karim, their faces inches apart. “so hypothetically speaking, you’d be up to just ditch right now, and we could go back to your place and i could order food and we could do what a not werewolf-elf prince and vampire warlock, do when they’re together,”

x

“I mean, shit, maybe you’re a werewolf. Are you a werewolf?” Karim asked this question with complete seriousness, furrowing up his features and cocking his head to one side. However, he could not maintain the expression, wiggling his brow up and down before breaking into a fit of laughter. 

“That movie’s scary as shit. But! I do like the one with the white stripe. What do you think? Could I pull one off?” He brought up a finger to trace a line along the center of his hair, as if genuinely considering dying it for the joke. Karim hummed.

“Yeah, but I’ll have been boomed. And it ain’t a party if I ain’t there,” he continued, crossing his arms. “A dark party’s not the worst idea, though. We could get glowsticks and shit. That might be sorta fun. Then we all could be the ones goin’ bump in the night. Bump, bump, bump, bump.” A silent rhythm seemed to roll through him, and Karim bounced up and down a little bit as if dancing to music in his head. “I’m procrastinating. I don’t wanna get on the ladder. I don’t actually like the ladder.”

˙ ˖ ✶karim

“don’t think i’m hairy enough for that one, maybe elf prince or vampire would fit better.  how about an incubus so i can totally use my magical charm to seduce you in this dark alley, and we do what employees are certainly not supposed to...skip work,” he said ending the anticipation behind his words with a laugh.

“with as cute as you are, i think there’s not much you couldn’t pull off,” kian said without skipping a bit.

“you think i’d ever let you sit out a party? now that’s just hurtful, even if you did get fried, you’d be the cutest crispy hot person there is,” he giggled. “honestly, that might be fun, but considering the circumstances, i’d rather have this be a small gathering. we should like test it out first, just make it like two people first and then expand. you and me first, obviously.”

☻

“oh shut up” the playful banter between the two only made the thrumming in his chest spread. monty never anticipated that it would be this easy to reconnect and fall back into old patterns. and create some more while at it. “yeah, when nan would forget to give me my ADHD meds i would be up for hours, ki. but it was fun watching you drool… on me.” he smiled to himself, “go ahead and scream it from the rooftops for me, yeah?”

monty was rubbing the back of kian’s head now, careful not to disturb his friend’s speech as he listened closely, “while that’s extremely flattering, i’m glad you got me at my prime.” he teased, biting hard on his inner cheek, “it’s definitely up there.”

while monty was extremely keen on this idea, his eyebrows knitted together as he turned to look at his alarm clock atop his bedside dresser, “fuuuuck, i’ve got work in an hour.”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

“make me,” kian challenged, still in a daze from how good it truly felt to just be alive right now. getting to spend time with monty again, getting to fall in love with him all over again, even deeper this time, letting him be his first, it was a great time to be alive for sure. “oh i know, you’d always be a bit sporadic but i always liked it. we were kids, so that energy just ran rampant regardless.” he mused. “oh shut up, but apparently you did like it.” he grinned. “i think you’ve made me scream enough for the week.”

“at your prime? like a transformer?” kian giggled at the joke, finding it extremely hard to not be so hopelessly in love with this man. “good to know.” 

“work...oh shit!” kian said running to put on some clothes before he could head downstairs to star cooking. 

Open starter @shrikestart​ Location: Employee Hallways  Time: Evening One of the florescent light bulbs overhead buzzed, flickering in and out every few seconds before flaring brightly and then repeating the cycle over again. Karim stood below it with a stepladder, staring upward with a furrowed brow. He grit his teeth, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and turned when he heard someone’s approach behind him.

“Hey! What are you doin’ back here? Didn’t you see the ‘Employees Only’ sign?” He spoke up in a very serious voice before lapsing into a genuine, full-bodied laugh. “Nah, I’m just kidding. Careful, though. This one’s out again. I just replaced it too. But I think we’ve got a Gremlin or some shit.” He sighed very deeply, nostrils flaring.

“I ain’t certified to be an electrician. If this goes boom, I don’t actually know what I’ll do. Maybe it’s cool, though. Like a rave. I could just leave it.” As if to punctuate his point, the light flickered on and off a few more times, intermittently casting the corridor in darkness. “Or a haunted house. OoooOOoo. Yeah, you know what, I should change it, right?” 

˙ ˖ ✶karim

kian had just finished grooming one of his regulars, and it felt extremely odd having to work next to monty after all this time, but he loved every second of it. even if it was entirely all too distracting for him to do his job and not stare at him. finding himself secluded from customers eyes, he looked up as he stood in the hallway smiling at the laughing boy.

“i mean as you can probably tell from all the dog hair on me, i also work here.” he teased. “Gremlin? hmm, i could definitely see that possibility around these parts.”

“it’s still a party if it goes boom, it’ll just be pretty dark then.” smiling he nodded in response. “yeah, pretty sure that’s the best move, we don’t know what goes bump in the night around these parts any longer.”

☻

“that’s all im good for to you, huh?” monty joked, trying to stray away from whatever was making kian this uncomfortable. he’d seen many sides to his friend, and even in his worst times- his smiley self was always his favorite. monty swore he would fight to keep that smile on his face.

monty wasn’t here when grandma chase passed but he still felt the pain from several miles away. a woman whom was a guardian in his life; a grandma away from his own. the loss felt like that of a close relative and he knew it was even worse for kian. so why hadn’t he reached out? “ahh, when we would pretend to fall asleep so they’d finally leave us alone. i guess my nan has picked up the clinginess for nana chase, huh?” a childish giggle left his lips, “hector’s close- but he’s still not me.”

“fuck, ki, that’s actually so relieving.” he sighed, just thankful he didn’t completely butcher this moment. a huge moment at that. he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to kian’s forehead, brushing the hair from it as if to show it off. “nothing to be jealous of, honestly. that had to have been my worst performance. and last night? may have been my best.”

monty took kian’s face between his hands, his dark eyes focused, “and i plan on doing just that.”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

“no, i also need someone who can scratch my back when i can’t reach,” kian teased. the demons of his past would always haunt him, the love he wished he had in a place that was supposed to be a home would never be there. but he had monty, and he was more than happy with this, with him there wasn’t much else he needed.

the night grandma chase had passed, kian got his phone taken away, had no way or form of contacting the one person in the world whose voice he wished to hear. “those would be the times, even if i would always fall asleep on you first. you always had so much more energy than me, even when i would try to fight how tired i was and stay awake for you.” he giggled, smiling at the old memories. the good ones. “maybe she has, and hector is pretty close i guess, so that would make you the funniest one here, is that what i’m supposed to let others know?”

“you’re still my guy,” kian blushed letting his hands caress his best friend’s features before turning red at the kiss on his forehead. “still, part of me wishes i had been your first as well, i just thought that we always made sense, y’know.” with a shrug, he didn’t think he was implying too much, not anymore than the already obvious for that matter. “can’t say if it was your best, but it was the best for me.”

“really? alright well maybe round two should get started,” he teased playfully, pressing another kiss to his lips.

☻

monty’s hand found kian’s hair now, softly running his hands over it as he listened. he knew it would take time to catch up on his friend’s life but something was itching at him, telling him that kian probably wasn’t okay. “yeah, i can only imagine.”

“don’t you dare tell her that.” his face grew heated again. he knew there was such thing as platonic love between friends and he swore for the longest time that what was between kian and him was purely that- platonic. but being back in shrike has made him realize that he wrote these feelings off as friendship to protect himself from ruining their prior relationship. and he stills finds himself hanging onto this ideal despite the previous night, “i miss her. i’m glad to have known her the way you do. well- i am the funniest person you’ll ever meet so i’m not surprised on that front.”

his hands hovered their way to kian’s hips as the other now sat on his torso, “well, maybe?” monty drew in a deep breath, “my first time was honestly the worst, ki. in the back of my old dingy car. i just… you deserve better than that.” 

monty lips turned up at a corner, one eyebrow perked, “you know i’m competitive, ki. in hockey- each games gotta be better than the last.”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

kian didn’t want to tell him about the horrors that he had lived, not while they were in such a state of bliss. he didn’t want to bring up the past again, letting those demons stay in the past was the best thing, even if they were still eating away at him, whispering in his ear every night before this last one. “it’s better now that you’re here, might just have to make you my body pillow.”

kian laughed at monty’s immediate reaction as he knew his nana would never stop teasing him about it. had it ever been platonic love for kian? maybe at some point, maybe in the very beginning, but something grew overtime as they aged, something that he could never be rid of as his heart had always yearned for only one. “me too, i miss her voice and the way she would sing to us with your nana at night when they put us to bed. we’d always stay up a little later than that, but i would always fall asleep on you.” he blushed, not unlike last night. “the funniest? it’s like you and hector are competing over the title still.” kian giggled.

“do you know what made my first time perfect?” kian asked the other man wondering if he understood. “do you know how many memories i have of you in here? some of the best in my life, probably the best memories of my life, so getting to do something so special here with the man who made it special was perfect to me.” kian explained. “oh i remember you telling me about that, i...was jealous at the time. i didn’t wanna hear it, because it wasn’t me that you were with.”

“guess you’ve got something to prove then,” kian giggled, laughing as he pressed a kiss on his cheek.

monty himself had been extremely exhausted the night before, so his observation of kian under the morning light flickering in through his bedroom blinds revealed his dark circles under his eyes and the way his shoulders drooped below his neckline. “as great as that makes a cocky bloke like me feel- you doing alright?”

“you think?” monty smiled, his eyes rolling, “her charade has been going on for years, ki- years.” he had to had it to his nan, she was persistent and most notably stubborn as hell. countless suitors never seemed to make her happy the way his best friend did. and she never failed to make monty aware of her supposed matchmaking skills. “yeah, i know that feeling all too well.”

he was staring at kian, hoping the underlying message of his last statement was clear.

“yeah but…” he groaned, hands filling through his bedhead, “i could have made it better y’know? like…ya had to deal with my groggy ass and not to mention…” he paused, gesturing toward his room, “i could have cleaned the place up a bit…?”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

kian smiled at the way monty asked if he was alright, and he could only nod in response at first as he edged closer to him once more. letting his hand rest on the man’s abs before resting the back of his head there as he looked up at him at an angle. “i’m okay, there’s just a lot that’s happened since you left.”

“maybe she hit the mark this time,” he said through a blush, hoping monty could pick up on what he meant. “it’s all good, my grandma also adored you over anybody else. she always reminded me how my smile was always different when i was with you, like it was a special kind of smile only you brought out, i didn’t get it back then, but now i do.”

“better?” kian blushed, now pretty much straddling monty as he grinned like a mad man. “so you want to make it romantic?” he cooed. “monty, my first time was perfect, and it would’ve been perfect no matter what you did, how much, or how little, i didn’t care about anything else other than the fact that it was with you.” he mused. 

“but if it makes you feel better, our second, third, and many other times can give you chance to do it all over gain,” kian suggested before kissing him once more. “is that okay with you?”

open for @shrikestart​ featuring rosie right outside karaoke dokie.

               an over dramatic sigh leaves rosie’s lips that form a pout as she places her chin in her hands, her elbows resting on the counter she sits behind. her shift at karaoke dokie has only just begun, but she knows she’s in for a long, boring, uneventful and unfortunate closing shift - that is, if no killers come out tonight. being a wednesday, rosie knows there aren’t many shrike heights residents planning on a wild night involving them singing their favorite tunes with their friends, and if there’s one thing rosie hates more than groups of people singing abba off key, it’s the boredom and the loneliness that comes with having to go without that in this place. another sigh leaves her lips, but this time she stands and she makes her way out of the store, no further than a couple of steps away so she can’t get in trouble for actually leaving her workplace while on shift. 

               “what’s the point of even keeping the mall open during the slow nights?” she doesn’t hesitate to speak to the first person to come near - the only person she can see in the area currently. “it’s dangerous here at night, we’ve established this, don’t you think they should… i don’t know… close the mall early on weeknights like this? if they can’t even think about enforcing a curfew on the town, it’s the least they could do.” rosie’s more scared of the killers and the threat of an attack than she cares to admit, but anyone who knows her well enough would be able to recognize her fear; she wouldn’t be caught dead supporting the closing of the mall or a curfew if she wasn’t scared.

˙ ˖ ✶Rosie

“hmm?” he said looking in her direction the second she spoke up. “honestly, it’s probably a new torture technique to see just how bored we can truly get before we implode or something,” kian mentioned, offering rosie a smile. “they know, but money is what actually runs the world, so they don’t care who gets hurt as long as they’re still making money. they might even find a way to monetize all these attacks,” he sighed, as he wouldn’t put it past this town to do something like this. “but the killers like making a scene, so another mall attack like this doesn’t seem right, it seems as if they’re getting more and more bold.”

☻

the heat in monty’s face never left. it only snaked it’s way down to his chest, making it difficult to breathe. he was hoping kian didn’t notice when he was gulping for air. his eyebrow perked, concern now making a home in his features, “you haven’t been sleeping well, ki?”

“she did what, now?” he swore that woman would be the death of him, no matter how bad her condition got- it seemed she would continue on embarrassing the living hell out of monty, “what has she told you? you know she’s gone a bit cuckoo, right?”

monty felt his limbs go stiff. his first time? his first. time. his eyes grew wide as he turned to look at kian, his back straightening as he pulled away ever so slightly. he can’t lie, kian’s words filled him with a pride he’s sure he’s never felt, but his stomach felt empty and his guilt was feeding on fumes, “kian wait- wait. that was… you let me….?”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

“not at all really,” admitting it wasn’t that hard, if you looked closely you could see the marks of fatigue on kian, the way his walk was a bit more sluggish, how he would ramble and then completely shut down. tired wouldn’t even begin to describe what those sleepless nights have done to him. “found the remedy though,” he mused.

“i think she’s trying to set us up,” kian blushed, even though he didn’t at all mind that idea. being with monty had been his childhood fantasy, and maybe it didn’t need to just be fantasy. “honestly we’ve mostly just spoke about you, the past, my grandma, she misses her y’know, i think losing your best friend is like losing a part of yourself.”

“it’s not like i planned it, but if i could have any man in the world be my first, i’d still choose you, over and over gain, you.” kian said as he felt monty get farther away, the instinctive flinching made him back off, feeling as if he did something.

☻

butterflies grew in monty’s stomach, watching the sleep drained from kian’s face, suddenly hyperaware of the other’s endearing bedhead. and then he kissed him and any inkling of a daze was whisked away. the skin to skin contact made monty’s head burn and he become dizzy as more kisses were peppered onto his chest. he could help but shake the feeling that this was literally his best friend, all too overwhelming bare in his bed.

“hey,” it came out incredibly breathless, “slept like a goddamn rock…you?” he definitely had more words to say but found them stuck in his throat, forcing a hard swallow. to say this was the best welcoming party he ever had was quite the understatement and it was certainly taking a toll on the brunet.  

a haunting thought then flooded his mind, his eyes wide in horror, “oh jesus christ, my nan.”

˙ ˖ ✶Monty

“hey,” kian smiled still blushing and reeling from the fact that his first time had been with the man of his dreams, the one who had stolen his heart ever since they were kids. “you make a very good pillow, best one i’ve ever had, and i haven’t had a good night’s sleep like that in a long time. might have to make this my new normal otherwise, i’ll go back to insomnia.” he giggled.

“something tells me she wanted this to happen,” kian said, and even mentioning it out loud seemed all too surreal. “thinking back on it she was insisting on me staying the night, i guess i know why now, but i didn’t know why she mentioned she’d bought new ear plugs...till now.” 

“you know everybody dreams of their first time being perfect, but it never really is, but mine really was, because i never wanted anything like that with anybody else but you.”

***

“the local authorities? when did you become such a snitch, dude? like i’ve ever cared what the local authorities say,” hector said with a soft laugh as he thought about it, having had his fair share of run ins as a teenager. “A bus out of town is way more responsibility, who’s gonna drive the bus if everyone’s drinking? you gotta think these things through, K. Look, we can’t live in fear in our own town and if that gets me put on the chopping block well then que se joda, you know? Worst case scenario, people choose for themselves and they don’t show up. And then I’m stuck getting drunk with you and Monty again which..is depressing but I guess not the worst thing in the world. Close second though.” 

˙ ˖ ✶Hector

“no, i’m just saying they’d show up anyway because if it’s gonna be a hector approved party it’s going to get loud.” kian mused smiling as he remembered just how rambunctious and rowdy hector had been practically all his life. “i’ll drive it, plus if there’s like a ghoul, couldn’t i just run em over with the bus?” he shrugged, even if he was entirely joking. “babe, why would you be put on the chopping block, nobody can stay mad at you for more than like a second because you’re so...charming is the right word here.” kian laughed as he was thinking of many other words to describe hector, none of which he should say out loud as he’d go red. “Honestly, just like old times, huh? I wouldn’t mind a smaller party of us three but like after the big one.” Not that he was about to tell hector how he and monty had their wild night already.

☻the morning after☻

dreams were a funny thing for monty. dreams that felt way too real and vivid were like lost memories. so when the repetitive beeping coming from his side table woke him from his sleep, he was fully expecting to be alone and his chest to not be accompanied by an individual whom he swore was a figment of his imagination brought on by jetlag. feeling all too shaken, monty reached out to thread his fingers through kian’s hair to make sure he wasn’t stuck in a vicious REM cycle. not being satisfied yet, his fingers found the other’s cheek and gave it a light pinch.

“oh shit.” he attempted to whisper to himself, his hand quickly drawing back to his mouth, “shit.” 

so it really did happen. he took one of his best friends to bed and he hadn’t felt the guilt about it until this very moment. monty started to feel like he just ruined everything- years of a loving friendship now tarnished because monty couldn’t keep it in his pants. he knew this wasn’t exactly a one way street, but he also knew that he had spent so many years promising himself he wouldn’t pull this shit. yet here he was, watching as kian’s chest rose and fell in sync with his own. 

“shiiiiit.”

˖ ✶ Monty

nothing could’ve ever prepared kian for what had transpired last night. not even in his wildest dreams could it ever compare to the real thing, to the heat and passion, and just how good it all felt for his very first time to be with the man he was in love with. now kian was passed out, head on monty’s chest as he slept, the rise and fall of monty’s chest a soothing rhythm that kept his dreams steady. feeling his cheek pinched, his eyes fluttered open, looking up to see monty sprawled on the bed.

“morning,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he tried to remember everything that happened last night, and once he did his cheeks burned. they did that. he couldn’t really shake the feeling that is was all a dream, but they were both naked in bed, bodies pressed together, it was hard to imagine anything else. kian smiled, as he leaned up and pressed his lips against monty, making sure he was all real, before he began to kiss down his chest. 

“how’d you sleep?” he asked, resting his face on the man’s peck as he lazily drew circles on bare skin.

Keep reading

˖ ✶ Monty

☻

kian was bolder. monty had assumed that came with growing older but he was still desperately gripping to his sanity as the other spoke. there’s a lot more about me that you love. that was more than true. the first few weeks in perth had been dreadful and monty barely sleep, thinking of everyone he’d left behind. but he always found himself centered to his friend. the feelings he ignored for years in fear of ruining a friendship and why, if he was so content with friendship, was it hurting this bad? why did monty throw himself into romances when nothing ever quite felt the same? he knew what it was every time he left another stranger to their lonesome. and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back from these feelings much longer.

“feral, huh?” he coughed out with a subtle grin, his eyes wandering down to the hem of his own sweatshirt, which kian wore too well. and maybe it was his fatigue or perhaps just the lack of care in pretending kian’s words didn’t cause a chaotic heat in his stomach that made him speak, “if i wanted that, ki, i wouldn’t ask.”

he no longer was interested in the food and he would’ve just left it if kian hadn’t been generous enough to heat it for him, so he sat, his eyes still feverishly focused on the blonde, “go ahead and get it started. i won’t be too long.”

˙ ˖ ✶ Monty

kian had been put through hell and back when he was nothing more than a boy, and now that he was much older, he rarely let a few things hold him back, and after losing monty once, he wasn’t going to let the chance slip through his fingers. maybe it was the time they spent apart that made all these feelings bubble now and now they had finally hit their boiling point. all the little touches, the moments that all led up to this, would finally all make sense. the feelings they’ve had for one another finally hitting a fever pitch. “absolutely,” he mused, positive he wouldn’t really be able to resist monty when he bulked up, he couldn’t resist him now as it was.

“you never have to ask when it’s me,” he said coming over so he could put his fingers under monty’s chin, lifting up his features as he bent over so their lips could meet once more. now he felt so free when he did this as if he could not get enough and do this more and more each time. “i’ll be waiting,” he said as he went ahead and left for upstairs, letting the water run till it was just the right temperature, before his clothes were scattered on the floor and he stepped inside.

kian took a deep breath as he stepped under the water, thinking about how he was going to go through with this and how much he wanted it, but he was still nervous, this was monty, he was special.

Location: Julio’s Bar or Pizza Time for a sober option 

Tagging: @shrikestart​

“Not for nothing but shit’s been kind of depressing around here lately, huh? I mean some dudes and/or chicks, I don’t want to assume gender here, playing dress up and running around and we’re all just supposed to hide? Nah fuck that, I could already die any day, I’m saying, it’s close enough to summer for a party. I mean if there’s a place that could use a party it’s this one and I mean, truly.” Hector was always being louder than he needed to and talking to everyone like they knew him or he knew them. Hector sat up in his seat more as he sipped his drink through the straw, thinking about the best place to throw it. His one bedroom apartment wouldn’t do. “Hey how much you think it would cost to rent out one them big ass houses over in CBD? Ten bucks that I can convince a housewife to let me throw a party in her house. Come on, easiest ten bucks you ever lost.”

˙ ˖ ✶ Hector

“Yeah, i sort of feel that too.” Kian definitely felt as if there was a shadow being cast on shrike and their once quiet uneventful town was now murder town usa. whoever said living in a small town was a simple life must’ve not thought about their humble corner of the world. “you want to throw a party? i mean, i guess it could be fun but i really don’t know if the local authorities would go for it, they’re frantic enough as it is. but i do agree that keeping us couped up won’t really help anything in the long run, so maybe a party is just what we need, probably get a bus and head out of town?”

☻

monty blushed at the memory now resurfacing: him getting out onto the ice, searching for his mother maniacally waving while his nan swore she couldn’t tell which helmeted player monty was, and finally kian. kian had rarely missed his games and he swore that looking up to find that dimpled smile and those bright eyes made him play out of his mind. especially when kian was clad in his spare jerseys- that did something to him he would never admit out loud. 

“yeah i’d love that actually,” heat flooded up his neck this time, “babes, i’ll be able to bench you by the time the summer’s over.” monty sent a wink his way, flexing in what probably was the dorkiest way one could. “guilt tripped? don’t go spreading lies now, ki.”

a fog of nostalgia had been ghosting this entire conversation, bringing up old memories that made monty wish he had never left this town. and never left kian. the memories he missed during his time away was haunting him and with the state of shrike now, he wasn’t quite sure that they would ever feel the same, “god i miss those days.”

yours. that word took an agonizingly long time to fully process in monty’s muddled head. all yours. he didn’t hide the way the words made him feel, hardly because he couldn’t. it was so extremely frustrating how easy kian had it with shaking his demeanor- it was his friend’s second nature it seemed. it always was, even in their younger days but now it felt heightened. he was scared to explore that and find himself in deeper shit than he was already in. he ran both hands over his face, putting on a strained smile, “and you are so brave. going at such great lengths just to cop a feel, eh?”

he felt kian’s fingers on his face, his shoulder’s already relaxing, “gosh ki, it sounds like you’re about to get on one knee for me right now.” the laugh building in his chest was soon silenced as kian’s lips meet his in what wasn’t nearly a long enough kiss. his head followed as the other pulled away and he quickly snapped backwards, completely frozen and not being able to focus on the word’s that were leaving kian’s lips. his lips that monty continued to stare at. they had shared plenty of pecks on the cheeks and monty swore there was a drunken night where the two had shared a little more but this felt too different. like it meant something too different.

shit. monty meant for the swear to stay in his head but he felt it when it was too late to take it back. he quickly turned away from kian, biting on his lower lip in hopes it would thwart any further obscenities, and let his knees give out onto the dining room chair, “no- i mean- yeah thank you but this is fine. thank you.”

˙ ˖ ✶ Monty

it was funny, how his earliest memories were just full of monty, his grandmother, and their family. not even looking far back could he find a time where his own family had been kind to him, had taken interest in any of his hobbies, his friends, or anything that was part of his world. he guessed it was better that way, cause maybe if they had looked a bit deeper they might’ve stopped this love whatever this was that blossomed between the two boys. so even if the youngest of the nine chase boys wasn’t able to truly know what it was like to enjoy time with his own loving family, he felt more than welcome with monty’s.

“pretty sure there’s a lot about me that you love,” he mentioned teasingly, laughing slightly at the idea of being benched by monty. “now that’s definitely on our list babe, can’t wait till those biceps are all over me.” all laughter and love, as kian scrunched up his features once monty told him to not go spreading lies. “how could i ever forgive myself, if i didn’t tell my very best friend that his mud pies were oh so amazing,”

this is what he was missing in his life, this spark of joy and love that had been gone ever since monty moved back to perth. was this the way it would’ve been like had he never left? or would it be more, would he have had the courage to take that leap that could’ve possibly ruined their friendship, but showed them that they could be so much more. kian wished they could be more, ever since he was a kid seeing monty as his knight in shining armor, waiting to be rescued by him. “me too, you’ve always been my favorite thing about shrike, monty solace.”

monty had the power to bring out all those feelings that kian had buried deep down, the ones that the facility would’ve loved to used against him, to break him and make sure that this type of love wouldn’t exist. but his love for monty had been far too strong to break, his conviction to get out and have the chance to see him again were part of what kept him moving forward. love was not weak, it was strong and durable, and even in the hardest of times, it persevered. “what can i say, you can’t let yourself be shirtless around me cause i might just go feral.” he giggled. brushing his own strands of hair out of the way, he pulled up on the sweatshirt that was oversized for his frame, and almost hid the fact that he was wearing short underneath.

“is this your way of asking me to get on both of them?” he giggled, raising a brow. kissing monty had been his dream, and even if there had been drunk nights where their emotions took hold, this time it felt different, as if a deeper meaning had been rooted here. kian wished he could do nothing more than kiss him, his body ached to be held by him, his lips yearned for that feeling once more, as if every fiber in his being screamed for monty, and it was so painfully beautiful. “you don’t need to thank me,” he said coming forward to face monty once more, his deep bright blue eyes staring up to meet his friend. “i wanted to do that, and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t want to do it again, to do more.” he mumbled.

“find me when you’re done eating, i’ll hop in the shower with you,” he whispered. 

☻

“its training season, ki,” monty was smiler wider now, “you’ll still like me if i get all beefy and macho right?” he was sure the other would, it was like an unspoken promise now between the two- no matter what. even after monty previously failed at being a good friend. “ahh and when grandma chase caught you enjoying one..” his smile turn devious, “the look on her face was enough to satisfy the little chef in me.”

monty had learned of kian’s grandmother’s passing, but he chose not to mention it. he had almost texted his friend but found he probably was better off not adding more salt to the wound. he found comfort that kian had his own grandmother and she had him- both most likely holding onto that remaining piece of grandma chase they found in each other. 

monty rolled his eyes to attempt to deter kian’s attention from his heated complexion, “like here?” he took a step closer, his fingers gently positioned into the small of the blonde’s back, “or here?” he grinned as his fingers traveled up between his friend’s shoulder blades, “you’re a load of shit.” monty was enjoying the banter, taking him back to memories of the two going back and forth for hours upon hours before they were told to shut the hell up by whoever was forced to be subjected to it. that was until he felt the pang in his chest as kian confessed. the guilt he had temporarily pushed aside came wandering back and he was forced to swallow it back down.

baby blues met his eyes and he swore to himself, “you sure? i’ve got this whole airplane musk thing going on…” but he couldn’t find it in himself to keep up the charade, “yeah..yeah i do.”

monty was watching those eyes, not really caring if he was obvious- especially since kian made no mistake to let them wander to his own lips, now wishing he had fished his chapstick out of his bag earlier. he wrapped his arms around his friend, one hand finding the back of kian’s head, “i missed you more, ki. you have no idea.” he paused after a heavy inhale, “yeah that sounds great.”

˙ ˖ ✶ Monty

“so that means i’ll be coming to see your scrims again, just like old times?” kian was enthused at the prospect, being able to do things they used to love. kian would wear his jersey again and go cheer him on, and it never mattered to him whether monty won, he was still his superstar. “only if you’ll give me piggy back rides like you used to, and carry me to bed bridal style.” he giggled, loving monty’s smile. “i remember being guilt tripped into loving one,” kian sighed, feigning a pained expression. “that just reminds me of the times we went trick or treating together, and we had matching costumes.”

after his grandmother passed, he found solace in monty’s grandmother, letting the memory of their loved one bring them even closer than before. kian found family in her, and shrike was a little less lonely because he had her there. Now monty was back, and he felt that he didn’t need anything else in the world, his entire heart had come back. kian was hoping this would mean something better for them, he just wished shrike wasn’t so scary and monty’s grandmother was in better health.

kian was squirming under monty’s touch, being ticklish was sometimes a nightmare, but he could never hate this, not with monty. he was all laughter and giggles he tried to steady himself. “me? never. and if anything, i’m your load of shit. all yours,” kian said fully meaning what he said, he’d been monty’s for the longest time, ever since they were kids there had been nobody else but him. kian watched as monty dated other people, and he waited patiently, wondering if there would ever come a time when it would be his turn, but that never came. the way monty’s body felt against his own was too alluring, something he couldn’t shake no matter how much he tried. it was addictive to know he could touch him so freely and so full of love. “i’ve seen you smell way worse than just airplane musk, but that never stopped me from hugging you when you were all sweaty and shirtless.”

“you do?” he was surprised as he looked up, letting his fingers brush against his cheeks, the thought of kissing him seemed so attractive to him right now. “i do too, i want to do this with you,” he mused.

fuck it, he thought as monty held him. kian inched closer, leaning upwards as he brought their lips together for a sweet and longing kiss. leaning in again for a second, he couldn’t help what came over him as he kissed monty sweetly. “i um, will promise to make you this plate,” he managed clearing his throat before he finally made him that plate of food and heated it up in the microwave, setting it on the table for him. “i can bring you soda too.” he mused.