I might be writing this just for myself as I don't think anyone really uses this thing anymore but I guess it sort of gives me a sense of closure on some of the things that made me feel like crap for a long time.
2020's have been a shitshow to say the least: COVID-19, the absurd amounts of hatred in social media and now a potential military conflict between the biggest countries in the world. It feels like we're living on borrowed time and I've been trying to enjoy life and get as much stuff done as possible while I can as the future doesn't look too promising, at least for the next couple years.
All this made me decide to jump on the DIY bandwagon and record my long overdue EP all by myself, meaning that I'd have to work with material exclusively written by yours truly. Honestly, I never even entertained the thought of doing this but somehow I got the whole thing written down and will record later this year in Buenos Aires with the help of some people very close to my heart.
Maybe the biggest takeaway from my failed music career is that music needs to be felt and honesty trumps complexity all day so I started scrolling this blog that I kept as a personal journal to revive old feelings and have something honest to write about. Masochistic but effective, would totally recommend.
I spent a couple weeks reading old posts, looking at old pictures and listening to songs that I hadn't listened to since forever and I realized that although I complained a lot and felt like the world had some sort of vendetta against me, things were not that bad. In fact, things were pretty, pretty, pretty good and I wish that I would've chilled the fuck down and enjoyed life a little bit more as life doesn't get any better than some of those moments.
Youth is such a wonderful privilege and sometimes in our teenage years and our 20s we're so eager to grow up that we don't really appreciate how wonderful it is to fall in love for the first time, to hang out with your friends without having to worry about anything else in the world, to drink until you pass out and to be hopeful.
I don't know if a two-year lockdown has something to do with this but I honestly think life is a downhill road and that as you get older, you start enjoying less things and you start losing connections, to others as well as yourself until eventually you get to a point where all that you loved becomes a distant memory and life turns very dull and unbearable and there's no going back.
You get to a point where all your friends are thousands of miles away, everyone's got shit to take care of and you're just too tired and old to meet new people and you certainly don't want to be the creepy old dude at the party. You're officially obsolete.
So, as much as I would like to keep writing about the decline of life as we know it--because I can still spend hours ranting and complaining about shit like this--I have decided to do something about this. 30s are the new 20s and I definitely don't want to feel like this in my 40s if I ever go through stuff I created in my 30s.
One of the biggest lessons from all this process is that you can't live in the past and that you cannot let too many trains go by hoping that the next one will be better or perfect. Your looks, your life, your music, and even yourself will always be imperfect and that asymmetricity, that out of tune note in your song, that failed business venture, that painful break up, it all makes things honest and just like in music, honest is good, honesty is punk rock and we need a little bit of that in our social media driven lives.
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