ShooFooGirl

In his dressing room, he showered quickly. As he shut the water off, he heard a loud knock on the outside door. His heart skipped a little, hoping it was her. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he hurried to open it. He was disappointed to see it was the assistant dresser, waiting on the step below.

The assistant thrust Gene’s costume up at him, but when he started to climb the steps, Gene took the clothes and impatiently shooed him away. He wasn’t ready for the bustle to begin just yet. He tossed his Serafin costume on the bed and sunk into a chair. Nervously he drummed his fingers on the edge of his dressing table.

He had to call Betsy. She would be concerned if he didn’t. It was relatively normal for him to rehearse late into the night. He often chose to sleep in his dressing room instead of risking a bleary-eyed drive home. Betsy wouldn’t question that. But it wouldn’t be normal if he didn’t touch base with her in the morning. He had to get it over with, before Judy came on set and crowded all the rational thoughts from his brain again.

He reached for the telephone and dialed. As it rang, he pondered if Betsy would hear a difference in his voice. On the third ring Beulah, their housekeeper, answered cheerfully,

“Morning, Kelly residence.”

Beulah’s voice sounded far away. It was as if Beulah and everyone at home were fuzzy and remote. He cleared his throat and tried to sound normal.

“Hi, Beulah. Is Mrs. Kelly nearby?”

“She’s nearby, but that doesn’t mean she’s up.”

Gene slumped his shoulders in relief. Then he quickly reproached himself for being a coward.

He cleared his throat again.

“Would you tell her I called?”

Beulah prompted him, “You want her to call you back, right?”

No, he didn’t want her to call him back. Not while shooting. Not once Judy was on set.

“Well, no…I mean, not unless she needs to. We’re starting in a few minutes.”

He hesitated.

He hated lying, but if there was even a slim chance that he could see Judy later, he would take it.

“After we end today, I have to stay on, to break-in another number…”

He should be telling this to Betsy and not to Beulah. He swallowed hard and continued,

“Let Mrs. Kelly know my schedule’s a lot busier than I anticipated.”

Beulah stayed silent on the other end of the line.

The silence irked him. Beulah disapproved anytime he or Betsy were away from home too long. As much as he loved the lady, it annoyed him how invested she got in family matters.

He cleared his throat.

“So, we’ll probably go a little late tonight.”

“You sleeping there again?” Beulah asked, dismayed.

“I might.” he said, trying not to sound defensive.

“Okay, I’ll tell her. Bye.”

She hung up unceremoniously.

A chill descended on him then.

Would he walk away from Betsy? Smart, loving, Betsy. Could he do it? When the only unsolvable problem in their marriage was that she wasn’t Judy?

Gene reached for his costume and tried to push all thoughts of home out of his mind.

*******

Judy was late to set. She rushed to where he stood under the hot lights. It took a physical effort not to scoop her up in his arms. She was nervous. Her dark eyes slid over Vincente’s face, then his, trying to gauge their emotions. Vincente smiled indulgently at her, and she looked relieved. Gene returned her glance and tried to hold it, but she dropped her eyes to the floor and pretended to look for her marks.

The flurry to get her ready was evident in the way she breathed. Her lips were slightly parted, and her ribs contracted with each breath. A little dazed, Gene distantly heard the call for places. Judy was up first. Her lines were at the top of the scene. The scene called for a long back and forth with Walter Slezak, the portly actor who played her fiancé. Later, the camera would push back to include Gene.

He tried to stay involved. Even though he was out of the frame, he knew he should be giving them reactions. But he could only stare at Judy. He watched the rise and fall of her breasts, admiring their creamy curves pushed up against the dress bodice. He tingled a little with the secret knowledge that his mouth, hot and eager, had roamed over every inch of them. He remembered how he teased her until she was moaning and pressing herself closer; and how the porcelain gleam of her skin had matched the moonlight, her eyelids fluttering shut as she cried out.

Walter’s voice startled him out of his reverie. Dismayed, he saw that the camera had already tracked backward. He was now in the frame and Judy and Walter were looking expectantly at him for his line. How long were they waiting? The moment seemed to last an eternity before he was able to splutter out his words. Vincente immediately cut and called for another take. Gene froze with embarrassment. He darted a glance at Judy, but she was smoothing her hair and didn’t look at him.

They got back into places. Gene took a deep breath, willing himself to concentrate on the work. But as the scene progressed, he felt self-conscious and distracted. To his horror, was once again he blanked in the midst of the scene.

Judy gave him a surprised look. Vincente’s head emerged from behind the camera operator. He asked politely if Gene needed to start again from the top. Gene could only nod helplessly. All at once, Judy seemed to realize what was happening. Even with Vincente there, the absurdity of it made her collapse in hysterical giggles. Gene couldn’t help but chuckle.

As they got pack into places, he smiled with mild embarrassment as he tried to regain his composure. But he wondered if the cast and crew suspected what was going on. His feelings for her were probably written all over his face. It didn’t take much around here to start the rumors flying. Look at that, Gene’s sleeping with his leading lady…oh wait… don’t you mean he’s sleeping with the director’s wife?

But then it dawned on him, Vincente was standing right next to them. Who would ever suspect Gene had the balls to mess around with his co-star in front of her husband? In a sense, he and Judy could hide in plain sight. Even though it was immoral, the thought oddly relaxed him.

But imagine if the shoe were on the other foot, he thought. Imagine if he was Betsy’s director and Betsy was sleeping with her co-star underneath his nose?

Did it make it any better that he wasn’t just fucking Judy? That there was real emotion there? Or did it make it even more of a betrayal? He knew he should be appalled by the situation, but it was too late now. He just needed to get through the day without humiliating himself or Judy.

Vincente came over to them and gently gave them direction. As Vincente talked, Gene experimentally wrapped his arms around Judy. She jumped a little in surprise. Vincente didn’t bat an eye, but Judy wasn’t laughing anymore. She stood stiff and uncomfortable in the circle of his arms. Tilting her chin up, she shot him a warning look. Chastened, Gene immediately dropped his arms to his sides. What a mess, he thought to himself. He was being completely unprofessional. He gave her a reassuring smile, trying to telegraph that he would behave.

When the camera rolled again, Judy was now almost as flustered he had been. She looked equal parts exasperated, amused, and alarmed. She began to miss her lines, and Vincente could only look on bewildered. When they broke for a new camera setup, Judy and Gene went to opposite sides of the set to compose themselves.

By noontime, they were calm and performed reasonably well in their scene. Their last couple of takes hadn’t been too bad, but they weren’t perfect either. They were about to begin another when Vincente wearily held up his hand, 

“Let’s stop for lunch. We have to move on.”

As the assistant director ran about shouting orders, Vincente turned to Gene. Apologetically he nodded toward their chairs. 

“You two should stay and run your lines.”  

Not daring to look at Judy directly, Gene ducked out from under the hot lights.

Dottie, Judy’s makeup artist, trailed after them. She was equal parts mother and big sister to Judy and seemed intent on staying beside her. But Vincente nudged her.

“Come on, Dot. Let’s get them something to eat.” 

Even though it was Gene who had flubbed most of their scenes, Vincente turned to his wife, saying sternly, 

“Judy, after lunch we have to get through at least one page of dialogue.”

Judy shot Gene an amused look but didn’t protest. Obediently she flopped down in her seat and wearily pulled the heavy script onto her lap. Gene should have been embarrassed, but he couldn’t help being glad Vincente had given him a legitimate excuse to hang around Judy during the break.

Vincente led Dottie to the exit. She looked pityingly back at Judy, upset that Judy had to forego the much-needed rest.

The gaffer and the electricians were loud and raucous as they switched off lights and set up new ones. Some cables were twined around the legs of Gene’s chair. Carefully he inched his closer to hers. 

“It’s too loud,” he said to Judy.

She nodded in agreement.

Gene called out to the crew nearest to them.

“Any chance you could hold it down, boys?”

They just ignored him.

He wasn’t surprised. He knew before he asked what their response would be. After a whole morning of camera-silence, the crew had no intention of being quiet now. 

Gene waggled his eyebrows at Judy.

“I tried. Let’s go to my dressing room.”

She shook her head slightly. 

Gene shrugged.

He called again to the crew.

“We got to run our lines. You saw how I blew it. You want to be here all night when I do it again?”

The A.D. who was walking past heard Gene and stopped. He pointed to Gene’s portable dressing room at the corner of the soundstage.

“For Christsake, Gene, move it in there or go outside. They have to set up.”

Judy and Gene shared a wordless look. He reached out his hand and gently tugged her to her feet. Judy pointed to the exit, but Gene pointed to his trailer. He didn’t wait for her response. He turned on his heel, and after a moment, she reluctantly followed him.

At the door to the trailer, she hesitated again. Gene held it open for her. Looking over her shoulder at the bustling soundstage, she finally crowded her full skirt together and slowly squeezed through the narrow doorway. Impatiently Gene nudged her the rest of the way inside and firmly shut the door behind them. At the sound of the click, she looked behind her in surprise,

“Shouldn’t we leave it open?”

Gene came forward and slid his arms around her waist.

“Shouldn’t I kiss you first?”

She squirmed away in alarm. 

“No! Gene...my makeup, my dress! Dottie, she’ll take one look at me, and she’ll know…and Vincente, he’ll notice. I just know he will!” 

Gene reached out and stroked her cheek, amused by her consternation.

“From one kiss?”

She shook her head decisively and backed farther away. Nervously her eyes scanned his neat trailer.

“Not here…of all places. Let’s open the door.”

Gene stepped closer. He didn’t touch her, but he lowered his head to her neck. Purposely he kept his lips at least two inches above her skin. 

“Gene...’” she said warningly.

His mouth hovered above her breasts. The smell of her perfume and her own clean scent filled his nostrils.

“I want to be close to you,” he whispered, delighting in the goosebumps that immediately raised on her skin.

She shivered a little. “Don’t.”

“Judy, let me touch you,” he murmured.

He ached to slide his hands under her heavy skirts. He wanted to watch the flickers of emotion that crossed her face when her body was touched just right.

She shook her head emphatically and looked up at him. Her eyes were wide and anxious. There wasn’t a trace of playfulness in them.

He took a deep breath and stepped back.

Slumping against the wall, he stared down at the floor.

He didn’t speak for several moments. Then he gave a low whistle.

“It’s going to drive me crazy. To be this close to you each day and unable to do anything about it.”

She reached her hand toward him and then pulled it back.

Her voice rose with emotion.

“You saw how it was out there-”

Her eyes seemed to be pleading with him to understand.

“I can’t…with him...” her voice trailed off.

She didn’t have to say anymore. It wasn’t a game to her having Vincente nearby. He needed to be more sensitive to her situation. He had to shield their relationship from gossip, for both their sakes. But keeping a clear head when they were together was challenging. He had never been this drawn to anyone.

He reached around her and unlatched the door.

“Judy, I won’t touch you. I promise.”

He gave it a push.

“Look, I’m opening it.” 

He crossed to his dressing-table and pulled out a chair for her.

Warily she watched his movements.

He nodded reassuringly at her and nodded toward the chair. Satisfied that he meant what he said, she sat down.

Clearing a spot for himself, he lowered himself to the floor and half-reclined at her feet.

Still ill at ease, Judy kept an eye on the open doorway.

After a few moments of silence, Gene reached out and touched the hem of her costume. Deep in thought, he began to idly rub the fabric between his two fingers.

She scolded him quietly, “Only a minute ago, you promised you wouldn’t touch me.”

He looked up at her innocently, “I’m not touching you.”

She straightened her spine, all business.

“Let’s run our lines.”

He grinned. “I know my lines. I know yours too. That was never the problem, and you know it.”

He continued to rub the hem of her dress between his fingers.

He sighed heavily.

“Judy, this velvet doesn’t even come close to how soft you are.”

Her lips flickered, trying not to smile. 

He closed his eyes.

“I can’t stop thinking about last night or the way you looked this morning.” He groaned at the memory of her on the Alsop’s guest bed, freshly showered and dressed, pressed against his naked body.

“I need to be with you, Judy. Tonight.”

“Be quiet,” she whispered urgently. She spoke as low as she could,

“It’s impossible. I can’t spend another night away from home.”

“Let me drive you home after work.”

She shook her head emphatically.

He said, “At the very least, it would give us a little time together, away from here.”

“But imagine how that would look. Because why would you? I have my car. Vincente has his.”

“I don’t know, but I could come up with something.”

Judy looked troubled.

“If people see us alone together, off the lot, you know what they’ll say.”

He protested, “But we’ve been friends a long time.”

Judy scoffed.

It sounded lame even to his ears. He knew she was right. Until now, his working relationship with Vincente had kept his visits to the Minnelli’s house free from Hollywood gossip.

He thought for a minute.

“How about Dottie? If she was with us, wouldn’t that eliminate talk? We could drop her at home and then-”

Judy stiffened.

“I don’t want to use her like that. You don’t know what she means to me. Besides, she doesn’t know anything about us.”

Then she repeated emphatically, “I’m not going to use her.”

He sat up straight and looked at her earnestly.

“Honey, I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to use her either. I don’t want to use anyone. I just meant it’s natural for you two to be together. Wouldn’t it be okay if I went along for the ride? I like Dottie. I’d like to get to know her better. We could grab some dinner. We’d have some laughs. Afterward, we could drop her off…and by that time, it’ll be dark.”

Judy looked amused.

“It’ll be dark? What does that mean?”

“It means it’ll be dark enough for a quick goodnight kiss, and then I’ll find my way home.”

“Find your way home!” she exclaimed.

Gene put a finger to his own lips to quiet her.

She quickly dropped her voice,

“That sounds like a lot of trouble for a ‘quick goodnight kiss.’”

He grinned up at her.

“That’s how good your kisses are.”

She smiled back at him. For a few moments, they just looked at one another, enjoying the sight of each other and forgetting where they were. Then Judy roused herself and shook her head.

“I don’t know. Dottie doesn’t like to go out after work. She only wants to come to my place or me go to hers.”

Gene shrugged,

“We can figure it out as we go along.”

She looked at him seriously.

“Gene, nobody can know about us.”

“Yet.” He supplied. “Yet.”

Her large, dark eyes briefly held his before she looked away. She was so tiny sitting in his chair. Her brow scrunched up in concentration. Her face had alternated all morning from elation to anxiety. He wanted to permanently erase that anxious look. He sure as hell didn’t want to be the cause of it.

He got to his knees, and looking up at her, he fiercely whispered,

“Judy, trust me, please. I won’t do anything that would hurt you or your career. We have the same things at stake. I’ll do my best to toe the line. But I’m telling you, after last night, it won’t be easy.”

He got to his feet and said it again,

“Judy, I would never hurt you.”

She looked up at him; her eyes so full of trust it made his heart swell.

“Alright.”

She said slowly.

“I’ll ask Dottie if she wants to get together after work.”

********

After the lunch break, Gene and Judy were letter-perfect in their parts. Vincente visibly drooped in relief, and at 4PM, perhaps anticipating Judy’s fatigue, he surprised everyone by calling it a day. Delighted, they trooped off to change into street clothes.

They met once more in the small projection room and sat through the dailies. Gene squirmed a little watching them. He looked over at Judy, but her profile revealed nothing. He would give himself a pass for today. But he resolved that going forward, he couldn’t let his infatuation compromise their work. Afterward, Gene, Judy, Vincente, and a few producers filed out to the hallway, where they said their goodbyes.

Vincente wearily announced that he would remain at the studio. Studiously avoiding Gene’s eyes, Judy told Vincente she was having an early dinner with Dottie. As Judy spoke, Vincente affectionately caught her hand and held on to it, making it evident that he wanted a few moments alone with his wife. Gene tried not to care. He pasted on a pleasant smile and said goodbye. 

He walked quickly back to his dressing room to grab his wallet and a sweater. Ducking into the bathroom to brush his teeth one more time, he looked critically at himself in the mirror. He was keyed-up and suddenly anxious, anxious to please her.

Was he acting too adolescent, too pushy? One thing everyone knew about Judy was that she liked men. Grown men.

Up until yesterday, I could have sworn I was one, he thought wryly.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he willed himself to calm down.

We know each other, he assured himself. She was his friend, always. The girl he laughed with. The girl he could be himself with. But last night, she had opened the door to another part of herself and another part of him. She had shown him glimpses of a creature more alert and more sensuous than any woman he had ever known. Was he merely infatuated with that glimpse, or was there a promise of something stable and enduring? There was, he told himself. There had to be.

He eyed the phone and deliberated whether he should call home to talk to Kerry. He felt a wave of guilt when he thought of his little girl. But calling and pretending to be occupied with work didn’t sit right with him. It was hard enough with Beulah. He’d rather be absent than lie to his daughter. He vowed to himself he would make it up to her over the weekend. He switched off the light and left to find Judy and Dot.

*****

When Judy finally came out on the backlot, she had Dottie with her. Gene had the hood of his car up, stalling for time by pretending to examine the engine.  His obvious ruse made Judy smirk in amusement. 

“Car trouble, Gene?” she asked, playing along.

Afraid he would laugh, he barely glanced at them. 

“Hope not. Just checking the oil,” he said briefly. 

He continued tinkering, waiting for the invitation to dine with them. But instead, Judy mischievously asked,

“Gene, shall I call Mr. Russo for you? He’s fixed my car plenty of times.”

She took Dottie by the arm and walked a few yards away. Then she turned back and called over her shoulder,

“When I get to the gate, I’ll ask Security to send him to you.”

Gene cocked his head, his eyes twinkling at her, wondering if she was really going to leave him standing there. He played along,

“Not necessary. I know what I’m doing.”

Turning a little away from Dottie, she winked at him. “Do you really?”

He held her eyes, “Always.”

A slight blush crept up her face. Aware that Dottie was watching them, he turned back to the motor with a jaunty salute.

“Goodnight, Ladies.”

Judy and Dot replied in unison, “Good night!”

Linking arms again, they walked away. But after a few steps, Judy stopped. She tugged on Dottie’s arm and pulled her down so she could whisper in her ear. Out of the corner of his eye, Gene watched Dottie slowly nod. He thought it looked like a reluctant nod.

Then Judy called back to Gene,

“Gene, Dottie and I are having supper together. Would you like to join us?”

He straightened and wiped his hands on his handkerchief.

“Oh yeah? Where you going?”

“Not sure yet.” She turned to Dottie and asked, “Where to Dot? Someplace nearby?”

Dottie tried to hide her disappointment. She said in a low voice to Judy,

“I thought we were going to your place. I’m too pooped to sit up straight at a restaurant.”

Judy answered her back in an even lower voice,

“If we go to my place, Mrs. McFarland will be on me as soon as I walk through the door. You know how she loves to jump out and guilt me before I can get my coat off.”

Gene pretended he wasn’t listening to the exchange.

Judy and Dottie lapsed into a long silence. Gene was starting to feel bad involving Dottie. She really did look exhausted.

Then Judy piped up in her best Esther Smith voice, 

“Dottie, if you don’t want to sit in a restaurant, and my house is a no-go, how about we go to your house? We can pick up dinner and eat there. Gene doesn’t live very far from you.”

Gene turned immediately to Dottie and shook his head. 

“No, no. You had plans. I can’t invite myself over like that.”

“Yes, you can,” Judy interjected. “Gene, you follow us. Dottie, you ride with me.”

Dottie protested. “But what about my car? I need my car.”

Judy put her arms around her.

“Oh, Dottie, for what? Once you’re home, you’re home, and you know it.”

“To get to work tomorrow!”

Judy said brightly, “I’ll pick you up on my way in.”

“Then we’ll both be late. Better let me drive.”

“No, no. You don’t know the way to that deli I like. We’re going to get sandwiches and beer, and we’ll turn the radio up and-....”

And so it went, on and on; until Dottie, falling under Judy’s persuasive spell, was bundled into the passenger seat, and off they went, with Gene following close behind them. She took them on a little journey, weaving through Culver City and down a grid of side streets Gene had never taken the time to explore. Sometimes at a red-light, Judy would glance into her side mirror and catching Gene’s eye she quirked her eyebrow at him. He laughed in delight.

After about ten minutes, Judy signaled and pulled into an empty parking lot. Her favorite delicatessen, rundown and dumpy, sat between a laundry and a flower shop. Gene remembered her other “secret” place, the Chinese restaurant that she wanted him to go to so badly. He had to give it to her. She really knew how to elude the Hollywood watch-dogs.  

Gene waited until Dottie hopped out of the car. As she hurried toward the deli, Gene eased his car alongside Judy’s and got out. He gave the parking lot a once-over then opened her back door and slid inside. Judy looked over her shoulder at him in surprise.

He couldn’t disguise his impatience to touch her. He squeezed her shoulder, urging her to turn around. Extricating herself from behind the steering wheel, she rose to her knees to meet him. He pulled her into his arms, gathering her as close as he could. Even though the front seat divided them like a fence, the excitement of their new relationship bubbled up between them.

Gene swept his fingers up and down the sides of her face. “Judy” was all he could say as he stared at her lips. She gave him a shy smile. He clasped her head between his hands and kissed her deeply. After all the tension at work, he half-expected her to push him away. But she kissed him back, with no trace of the reserve she had shown earlier in his dressing room. Between kisses, she murmured his name against his lips. Softly stroking her hair, he told her,

“I waited all day for this.”

Her arms came up and tightened around his neck.

“I have too.”

Then ducking her head, she whispered into his chest,

“I’m sorry about before, in your dressing-room.“

Gene lifted her chin and gently kissed her nose, then her lips. She whimpered a little helplessly.

But as if her whimper set off an alarm, and she forcefully pushed against his chest so she could turn around. Anxious, she looked through the window.

Gene rubbed her neck reassuringly. Dottie wasn’t in sight; nobody was. Gently he turned her toward him again.

“We have time, baby.”

Judy flashed her eyes at him and said,

“You called me ‘Judy’ all day today. Even when we were alone.” She almost sounded accusing.

He swallowed a smile and answered her seriously.

“I know that.”

She tilted her head to one side as if waiting for an explanation. He wasn’t quite sure if she was teasing or if she was actually annoyed, but she sure looked cute.

Running his finger up the side of her cheek, he smiled softly.

“If I called you ‘Baby,’ you know what would’ve happened.”

She reached up and carefully smoothed the thin fabric of his sweater across his shoulders. She lifted her chin higher. He saw this as an invitation. As his mouth descended onto the cool skin of her neck, she shook her head and murmured,

“I don’t think I do.”

“You don’t you think you do what?” he asked. He didn’t pause from grazing his lips up and down her jaw.

She whispered, “I don’t think I know what would’ve happened if you called me ‘Baby.’”

He urged her closer,

“Yes, you do.”

Holding her tightly, he kissed her again, deeper this time, stroking her throat lightly with his fingertips as if he could summon up the sounds she made from the night before. Emotions rolled up and down him as he kissed her. His hands found and admired the delicate punctuation points of her; the tiny chin, the sharpness of her collarbone, before sweeping over the lush curves that made him so greedy for her. Her body relaxed against his. He smiled to himself as her skin grew steadily warmer. Her fingers began to play in the soft hair at the base of his neck. He felt the similarity in their touches and their kisses. She wanted him too. And he knew she wanted him in a way that went deeper than a surface attraction.

Too soon, though, she broke away from him. Breathlessly she slid back into place behind the steering wheel. With a laugh, she protested,

“It’s not dark yet.”

But he could see from her smile that she didn’t actually mind. Their cars were the only two in the lot, and they sat under a long shadow cast by the building next door. He retreated farther into the back seat but kept his arm stretched out with his hand on her shoulder.   ­

Looking straight ahead, Judy spoke in a voice so low he almost missed it.

“Gene?”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Yes?”

She rubbed her cheek against his hand.

“I love being with you.”

Through the curtain of her hair, he gently caressed the back of her neck. Unable to restrain himself, he rose up again and buried his face in the waves of her hair. There was so much he wanted to say to her. He was full to bursting with happiness and desire for this remarkable person. He breathed her in as he kissed her neck. Her fingers slid along his wrists.

At one point, she held his hands still. Gripping them tightly, her voice faltered,

“It feels right being with you, but-”

He laid his head on her shoulder and whispered,

“It feels right because it is right.”

Judy took his hand and kissed it tenderly. Then she glanced up into the rearview mirror.

“Oh, my lipstick!” She exclaimed and reached for her purse.

Gene sat back again. Lost in thought, he watched her methodically apply a fresh coat of color to each lip. He and Judy were finally together. Yet, he didn’t know what together meant to Judy. Despite the complications that would surely arise, he felt the days ahead should be savored. He sensed her confusion, and he knew he couldn’t erase her misgivings with words alone. It was going to be up to him to show her that they had a chance. That she could rely on him.

He opened the door and got out. Leaning against his own car, he lit a cigarette. Judy rolled her window down to join him in companionable silence. She rested against the steering wheel, with her head pillowed on her arm. Unselfconsciously, they watched each other.

An idea was taking shape in his mind. He would have to play the hell out of his role as Serafin. He would push at Vincente and Arthur to give him even more to do. Until it was evident to everyone at Metro that Gene was as indispensable to the film’s success as Vincente was. He would show them he was ready to pick up where he left off before the war. This wasn’t just about his career anymore. Riding on that current at Metro, he would quickly move from performer and director to producer. With that kind of clout, he would be a shield that protected Judy from the front office and all that sour business. 

Until then, they would continue to see each other, he decided. Even if it was only a few moments of privacy, even if it was a lunch or a dinner chaperoned by Dottie. Even if he couldn’t make love to her for weeks at a time, he would wait. In a sense, he had waited for her for years; what was a few months more?

As he smoked, he studied Judy’s face. He never got tired of its contrasts. And as he stared into those big brown eyes, he was even able to imagine an amicable divorce from Betsy. Idly, he envisioned Betsy on a Broadway stage again, free to continue the acting career she left behind in New York, the career she still so desperately wanted.

Dottie appeared. She trotted across the parking lot, happily swinging a six-pack of beer in one hand. With the other, she triumphantly lofted a lumpy bag of sandwiches above her head. Judy pulled her into the car and hugged her in appreciation.

Gene grinned. As he followed Judy’s car out of the parking lot, he felt lighter. Confident that all of them would end up in their rightful places, free to choose the life that made them happiest.

Months later, it was the memory of his optimism that would stab him the hardest. That, and his failure to ask Judy what she wanted.

******

When they arrived at Dottie’s, Judy immediately disappeared, heading to the back of the house to call home and check on Liza. When she returned, Gene was amused to see her barefoot. Her stockings dangled from her hand.

The three of them sprawled on the carpet, drinking and eating enthusiastically. Judy lay on her side, her long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle. She was close enough that he could feel the energy humming between their bodies but far enough away to maintain the appearance of friendly camaraderie.

She was so pretty in her knee-length skirt and a simple blouse. Her hip curved so alluringly into her waist that sometimes he had to close his eyes, afraid that Dottie would be able to see his thoughts. But if Dottie had any ideas about him and Judy, she didn’t let on. He grew more comfortable. Several times, he came dangerously close to rolling toward Judy and kissing her.

After they ate, Gene settled onto his back. Lying there with his arms behind his head, he was content to let Judy and Dottie do all the talking. It made him happy to see her smiling and relaxed. As she and Dottie gossiped, Gene’s eyes grew heavy.

He thought he might be dreaming when he heard Judy, somewhere to the left of him, singing in a low voice. He opened his eyes to see Dottie stagger to the couch and lay on it, shoes and all. 

“Poor Dot,” Judy said in a stage whisper. “She gets to work at six and then waits for me to roll in at eight. I tell her all the time not to bother.”

“You may have told me that, Judy, but the man who pays me didn’t,” Dottie said this without an ounce of rancor. “Until he does, I’ll keep getting there by six.”

As she rolled over on the couch, she mumbled anxiously to Judy, “Take your makeup off. Don’t ruin your complexion.” 

Then she went still. 

Judy laid her head on her arms and looked at Gene.

He raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking, Now what?

She shrugged nonchalantly. The anxious creature from his dressing room had disappeared. She looked warm and pliant. After the embarrassment of the morning shoot, he had blocked out any further thoughts about last night. But now, as he looked at her, he imagined how easily her clothes would melt away under his hands. He luxuriated in the memories of the night before. Each was sharp in color and laden with discovery and infatuation.

She must have felt it. She must have sensed what he was thinking about. Her lips curved into a teasing smile. He shook himself out of his stupor. Rubbing his eyes, he reminded himself that she was here with him now, dreamy but real. Lovely, languid, and real.

She rolled to her side and slowly got to her hands and knees. Leaning toward him, she used his leg to steady herself as she stood up. At the feel of her hand on his thigh, his hunger for her intensified. When she attempted to step over him and he deftly caught her foot in his hand.

Looking up into her eyes, he ran his hand up her calf and then slowly back down again. Lazily he skimmed his fingers over her ankle and then let her go.

Standing over him, with one foot now on either side of his waist, she looked uncertain what to do next. Her expression was so lost, it took all his willpower not to tug her by the wrists and pull her down on top of him.

Judy glanced over at Dottie’s inert form. Then she gave Gene a look he couldn’t quite decipher and quietly left the living room. In one swift movement, he got to his feet and followed her. A few steps ahead of him, she disappeared into the small bathroom.

She was next to the sink. When she saw him in the doorway, she abruptly turned away. She opened Dottie’s medicine chest. Pretending to concentrate, she riffled through the jars on the shelves.

Sighing with mock annoyance, she shut the medicine cabinet and twisted on the faucet.

“That Dottie,” she said wryly, “a makeup girl with no cold-cream.”

Leaning against the jamb, Gene lightly knocked on the open door. She caught his eye in the mirror and watched him steadily as he shut the door behind him.

She asked,

“Was this part of your plan?”

He stopped behind her and shook his head.

“No. There was never any plan, only an objective.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Me?”

He ran his hands up her back. He heard her quick intake of breath. Pushing her hair aside, his eyes never left hers in the mirror. He murmured into her neck, “Us.”

Judy’s heart leapt. Embarrassed by the strength of her own feelings she bowed her head into the stream of water and began earnestly splashing her face.

When she lifted her head, Gene handed her the bar of soap. She giggled and took it. He watched her intently as she lathered it onto her wet skin. After a moment, he surprised her by impatiently brushing her hands away from her face. He laid a gentle finger on the soapy bridge of her nose and dragged it downward until it landed on the plump curve of her lower lip. Abruptly he turned her head and kissed her, making her gasp. Immediately she opened her mouth to him, letting his tongue slide across hers.

Eagerly she turned in his arms to face him. The sensation of his body pressed against hers made her shiver. She wrapped her arms around his waist. She was as excited as much by the familiarity of him as her friend, as she was by the unpredictability of him as her lover. Slipping her hands under his shirt, she ran them up his back, making his muscles tense at the contact. He drew back and she met his gaze. She whispered,

“You wanted to see me wet and soapy. Here I am.”

She let him look at her under the harsh and ugly bulb swinging over Dottie’s bathroom sink. She reached up and brushed her fingers across his lips. He grabbed her hand. Holding it in midair he shook his head in disbelief. His eyes darkened, and his arms tightened around her. She could feel the energy and the desire coiled in his body. The restraint he had shown all day. It was almost dangerous. She could feel the effort of that restraint. It was like being held in the velvet paws of a lion. Then his voice came out, surprising her with how husky it was with emotion,

“We’re so lucky,” he said.

She closed her eyes. She wanted to believe that. But she couldn’t help but think, wouldn’t it have been luckier if they had given in to their attraction years ago? If they had gotten the words right, before they both got married and had families with other people. But then there would be no Liza. And how could she even consider another marriage, a third marriage? If marriage was even in Gene’s mind! And what if marriage wasn’t on his mind? What if she wrecked every-thing she had with Vincente for nothing?

He saw the emotions shadowing her face. He knew she was drifting from him again. She was being pulled into the darkness by her own misgivings. Just then a trickle of soap and water ran into her eye, sharply stinging her. This made her giggle, and she twisted away to rinse off the rest of the soap. Not letting her go, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his head on her back. She could feel his breath through her blouse, warm puffs of air descending around the sharp triangle of her shoulder blade. Barefaced and dripping slightly, she shut off the water and turned to face him again.

Gene reached for the nearby towel and gently dried her face. She closed her eyes, enjoying his tender pampering.

“Thank you.”

He cradled her head between his hands. She opened her eyes. She was taken aback by the intensity of his face. It was the same look he gave her last night. The moment before they finally made love.

There was no hiding from what was happening between them. She wanted him. She didn’t want to think about the what-ifs any longer. Instead, she took his hands and placed them on the top button of her blouse. His eyes changed again. Deeper, vulnerable now in their desire. He immediately began to work his way down the front of it. He watched her eyes follow his hands as they made their steady descent. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth. Her lashes cast a shadow on her cheek. Releasing the last button, he parted the ends of her blouse as if they were a set of curtains.

His hands came up and gently stroked the sides of her neck. He was trying to hold back from moving too quickly. But at that moment he caught sight of himself in the mirror. If anything made this real to him, it was the sight of his face, with its unsuppressed expression of lust and yearning.

Under her blouse, she wore only a slip. Impatiently he pushed aside the silk, lifting her breasts from it. He watched his mouth move from one to the other, running his tongue across her nipples. He heard himself groan in appreciation as they hardened.

Tearing his eyes from the mirror, he looked up at Judy. She was very still, as if she was holding her breath. Then he saw her lift her chin. The way she closed her eyes told him she was here with him, fully in the moment now, and no longer thinking about the consequences.

He stood up straight. Gathering her breasts in his hands, he continued to caress them as he kissed his way up to the petal-soft skin under her jaw.  

He whispered to her, “Stay here” as he lifted her with one arm and balanced her on the edge of the sink. She arched back, resting her head against the mirror. Such a sexy girl, he thought. 

Drawing him between her thighs, she reached down and caressed him lightly through his pants. He growled a little and pushed hard against her hand. She kissed his earlobe, then bit it lightly. Her hand moved up and down, tracing the outline of his confined arousal. Her soft sighs against his ear made him even harder. He looked up at the ceiling, lost in his overloaded senses.

“Baby?” he asked. “Say something, anything.”

He felt her smile against his neck.

For a few seconds, she said nothing and just ran her lips lightly down his jaw. Then, as her fingertips slid along the jagged teeth of his closed zipper, she found his ear again and said in a shy whisper,

“I like you, Gene.”

Tingles broke out across his neck. Such a simple phrase, but it meant more than maybe she even knew. Resting his forehead against hers, he breathed against her lips,

“Tell me that again.”

Brushing her lips ever so lightly against his, she kissed him instead.

He wanted to touch her everywhere at once. Her breasts, her parted lips, her hair curling now across her cheek. She looked unfocused and so soft. Gene wrapped his arm around her waist. Pulling her closer, he slid one hand under her skirt and up her thigh. When he found the silk of her panties, he carefully pressed his palm against her. Her back straightened at the contact.

Lowering his mouth to her breast again, he circled the nipple lightly with his tongue and began to rock his palm against her. All his concentration went into making her respond to him. The world narrowed to the thin perimeter of silk between her legs and her nipple hardening beneath his tongue. When he felt her breath quicken, he found the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. The gasp she gave when he touched her there made him feel even more reckless. Gently he slid her panties off.

He sank to his knees before her. He couldn’t remember if the door was locked or unlocked, but he didn’t care anymore. He had waited all day to touch her bare skin. He lifted her skirt and kissed the inside of her thighs as his hands made long strokes up and down her smooth legs. He heard her breathing change. He looked up at her. Bare of all makeup, her face was shockingly vulnerable. Her eyes looked straight back into his.

Pushing her skirt up higher, he felt almost feverish, anticipating the soft sounds she would make when his tongue explored her there. Does Vincente do this to her? he wondered. The old, possessive thoughts were leaping up to the surface again. As if she was made for him alone.

The first touch of his mouth against her was electric. He heard her suck in her breath. Her hand dropped away from his back to clutch the edge of the sink while the other caressed the back of his neck. As her fingers slipped into his hair, her thighs tensed. He went still, and so did she. Silently she waited for him to continue. His was so hard now, he felt as if he would burst through his pants. 

He began to stroke her with his tongue. How could anyone be this silky, he wondered. He felt as if every inch of her body was silk and satin. He could feel her excitement. Her hands slipped through his hair, and she was getting wet. He reached his hands up to fondle her breasts. Off-balance she grabbed at his shoulders. He pulled back slightly, nuzzling her thighs and waiting for her to relax again.

When he told her that he had no plan for tonight, he was telling the truth. All he wanted was to be close to her. He kissed her knee and quietly asked her, “What do you like about me, Baby?”

Just then a loud cough came from outside the bathroom. The proximity was so shocking, it seemed to shake the door.

Gene reeled back from Judy. Aghast, he rested against his heels while she wrapped the ends of her blouse around herself.

Dottie’s voice boomed through the wood door.

“Judy? I’m going to bed.” 

Judy slid down from the sink. Shakily she called back. 

“Okay!”

Gene silently got to his feet.

“Are you staying?” Dottie asked.

Judy reached out and clutched Gene’s hand.

“No. Going home.”

The sound of Dottie’s feet shuffled down the hallway. Judy began to rapidly button her blouse. Then Dottie’s voice called again,

“Did Gene get home alright?”

Judy’s eyes widened in surprise. Then she looked at Gene, her eyes full of mischief.

“Yes, hours ago.”

The dull sound of Dottie’s bedroom door closing made Judy’s knees buckle. 

Judy threw herself into Gene’s arms. She was trying to choke back an attack of giggles. He held her tightly. Her warm squirming body. The soft hair. The emotions that coursed through him rooted him there and the sudden realization.

He loved her.

He named it right then and there, in Dottie’s cramped bathroom. He loved her.

They left Dottie’s. Hand in hand. Wild and excited as teenagers, they ran across the lawn toward Judy’s car. Breathless, Gene caught her up in his arms. Leaning against the car door, he kissed her, drinking her in, his hands lost in her hair. He didn’t think anything would ever come close to the joy of this moment. She met him in that way she had. Giving him everything. 

*********

He drove her car, taking them to their place. He had convinced her. Even if they couldn’t spend the night, they had to be together. Now. What good was it to torture themselves trying to stay apart?

He looked out of the corner of his eye. The wind was lifting her hair. Her teeth were pressing down on her lower lip, to refrain from gasping at his speed.

He grinned. Finally, she yelped,

“Gene please slow down!”

He glanced at the speedometer and laughed. He was only driving forty miles per hour. He slowed to twenty and fondly took her hand.

He felt incredible. The world was a vista of possibilities with this warm, lively woman beside him. She was his. Her lips would be parting under his soon enough. Her heart would be pressed against his heart. Her head would be cradled in his hands, with a face that could change from angelic to erotic in a blink of an eye. 

He brought her hand to his mouth and stroked it back and forth across his lips.

“Come here.”

She slid across the bench-seat and nuzzled his cheek lovingly. Then she quickly scooted back to her side of the car. 

He tugged on her hand again, urging her to come back to him.

She shook her head, a secret little smile playing across her lips. 

“You need to keep your eyes on the road.”

But she kept her hand in his; lightly tracing each of his fingers as he drove. 

*****

At the mouth of the darkened lane leading to the Alsop’s gate, Gene switched off the engine. Judy looked through her purse for the key to the iron gate. She was nervous. His intensity thrilled her. Never before with a man had she been able to shut off the performer in her head. For her, sex had been an effort, giving herself over to their pleasure, always trying to anticipate what they wanted, and working to deliver it to them. With Gene there was no thinking, only feeling; intense, loving, and explosively carnal. It was all mutual pleasure. Being with Gene was a new experience for her. She was unprepared for a man who reacted so powerfully to her touch. She loved how she felt in his arms. She loved the low groans he made at the smallest brush of her skin against his. The slightest press of her lips against his earlobe and his fingers would instantly tighten on her waist.

But it wasn’t just sex. She saw the yearning look in his eyes. It was as if he had never been loved in the way he needed. It made her feel bold and secure. She had something he needed. Something that only she could give him. And she wanted to give it to him. She was ready to give instead of take. The neediest parts of herself receded when she was with this man.

Gene stilled her hands as she rooted through her purse.

“We have time.”

She put her purse down and turned to him.

“Do we? It’s quite late.”

Gene nodded at the dashboard clock.

“It’s only nine.”

Judy looked incredulous.

“Golly, I thought it must be two am by now!”

He understood. So much had happened between them in a relatively short amount of time.

“Are you tired?” he asked her.

She shook her head and smiled.

“I should be, shouldn’t I? But I’m not.”

He smiled back. They had been together for over 24 hours. They had only been apart for the hours it took between leaving the Alsop’s this morning and arriving at the studio. Both of them should have been dragging by now.

She asked worriedly, “Are you tired?”

“Not when you’re around.”

Hesitating a little, she asked,

“You’ve been away from home a long time… shouldn’t you...?” her voice trailed away.

Gene’s face went still.  

“I left word that I was staying at the studio tonight. I know how selfish this sounds, but…right now, you and I are the only people I’m thinking about.

Judy covered his hand with hers. Hesitating he said,

“Judy, I haven’t always been faithful in my marriage. But you’re the first woman that’s ever-”

He stopped and looked at her earnestly.

“I think you know what I’m trying to say.”

“I do, but I think I still need to hear it.”

“This is more than attraction. Much more.”

She nodded.

He looked at the two feet of space between them. He was about to ask her to come closer, thinking that he needed to persuade her, to coax her. 

But then she said “Gene,” in that way that melted him. Sliding over to him she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“My Gene,” she whispered as she slid into his lap.

He groaned, instantly aroused. He had never stopped being aroused. The entire day it had simmered like a pot on a back burner. He cradled her in his arms, squeezing her shoulder and running a hand down the length of her leg.

“Why do you like me so much?” she asked, in that voice that went straight to his groin. She was already slipping her hands under his shirt. She skimmed them across the hard expanse of his chest. He could barely think with her lips this close to his. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip before gently biting it. She sighed with pleasure. He kissed the little indentation and told her,

“Like isn’t a strong enough word Baby. I’m way past the liking stage.”

She murmured against his lips,

“Already?”

He didn’t answer. He kissed each lip, urging her to open her mouth to him. His hands caressed her shoulder blades as he slid his tongue along hers. Gene kissed her better than anyone she had ever kissed. Why she was surprised by that she didn’t know. Just his kiss alone sent deep shivers of desire radiating through her. She felt like a doll in his arms. She lay back letting him touch her. Enjoying the broadness of his chest, and the cradle made for her between his thighs. The feel of all that hard muscle through his pants aroused her to no end.

She tilted her head back, as his finger made rhythmic circles over her breast, coaxing a response through the layers of her blouse and slip. 

“Gene?” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

She laid her cheek against his chest and told him,

“I’m way past ‘liking’ too, and it scares me.”

Gene covered her head with soft kisses,

“Baby, I promise you-“

Judy turned abruptly. She raised herself up so that she could straddle his lap. She placed her palms flat against his chest and shook her head as she lowered her mouth to his. Stopping just inches from his mouth, she whispered,

“Gene, don’t say anymore.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, the urgency growing within him.

“Alright Miss Garland, if these are my last words for the night then all I can say is…”

Distracted, Gene ran his hands down to the round curves of her backside. Judy giggled. But when he kneaded her through her skirt she moaned.

She arched against him. “What were you going to say?”

Sensuously he kissed the hollow of her neck,

“I was going to say, where’s that damn gate key?”

Judy tried to rouse herself. She felt so good pressed against him. Her purse seemed miles away from his body.

“I’ll get it.” She murmured.

Gene shook his head, “Later.” For a while, they just kissed. Each listening to the sounds of the other. Warm and safe within, the world outside the car went silent. Until for Gene, there was only her.

Judy lifted her head. The distant moonlight haloed around her hair. She had never looked so ethereal to him as she did now. She stirred the recesses of his imagination as no other person had done. He raised his hands to her face. At his touch, she opened her eyes.

As he drew her down for another kiss, he felt her body turn rigid against his. He briefly wondered why. He watched, uncomprehending, as her eyes widened and her dreamy gaze turned to one of confusion.

And then she screamed.

It was a terrifying noise. And in a split second, she was off his lap. Slow to react, Gene watched her shrink herself back into the shadows of the seat. Her eyes seemed not to blink as she stared past Gene’s shoulder. He turned toward the driver’s side window. A deep chill ran through him as he stared aghast at a man’s face peering in at them.