Now I’m here, less than a week from graduation. Sitting in my car about to go into high school for the last time. All the people I know and knew here and all of the memories will be behind me after next week.

Congrats to all other graduating seniors and especially the ones who didn’t know they’d make it. We did it!

Noah Kahan out of body. So amazing. I don’t wanna talk about how many times I cried (at least six). It was such raw emotion the entire thing and you could feel pretty much everything he was feeling in those moments. From the cinematography to the settings to the narrative to the message, you could feel the heart and soul of the people in it not just Noah himself but his family and friends. The movie itself does such a great job shedding some light on the themes of the songs and just a scratch of the surface of what happened, enough to give context but not put everyone’s entire life on display.

The touch and themes of mental health in the film are amazing. You feel how lost Noah is at some points and the frustration with not hitting some notes and addressing the anxiety and shame that comes with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. Something many are too scared to share at all never mind to the whole world. It takes a strong person to put themselves out like that and advocate for others not to feel shame about it, truly a step for breaking the stigma around mental health disorders and mental health in general.

Ya I am actually

“I cannot unsubscribe to my man trial, it’s been charging me for six months!”

“I AM MARTIN”

“I am the Martin I speak for the Krat brothers”

“I am the Martin I speak for the animals”

“I am the Martin I speak for the men”

“It’s like a gym membership….”

“Well I know I’m not trans, that’s for sure”

“Are all men so itchy???”

“These doctors are as bad as the membership customer service representatives”

“I have more chest hairs than my dad”

“why am I itchy???”

“Why is my voice cracking”

“Is this what puberty is like for guys?”

“This is like a trans guy’s dream”

So I’m a junior in high school right now (11th for anyone out of the US) and I saw a tik tok about a girl and her best friend singing “slipping through my fingers” in mama Mia as their final show of their spring musical and one of them is in 12th and graduating in a few weeks from the video and the other is in 11th. The spring musical next year is mama Mia. I’m going to do technical for it. I will never recover. Like literally I don’t know how I’m going to make it through that show it’s going to be beautiful but I will be bawling my eyes out from either backstage or from the mic cart of the lighting desk.

I finally got my own surfboard about three weeks ago and I went out like two or three times and was like “meh these waves are fine” I didn’t catch anything but I’m really rusty and I was getting kind of close and really I just need to work out my arms a bit and stalk the other surfers on the pier (I learn from watching, fuck off, it really works just study the people who know how to do something and it’s a lot easier to pick up things). But now I keep looking at the surf report and I’m like “what is this dogshit?” Just give me a fucking hurricane so I can have some waves.

Also you may or may not get context. Depends on my mood through this typing rant.