dumbo

I’ve started a “Red Flags and Who Inspired Them” book (my version of a burn book) to keep myself honest about who I let into my life.

An hour after I got into a five car pile up on the highway, my best friend started bullying me about it and if that’s not true friendship idk what is tbh.

sometimes I wish I was an upper class woman in the early 1900’s napping on and off all day.

the amount of times I’ve attempted to make a joke about my car crash and miserably failing is a joke in itself tbh

I’m on the bus and this guy behind me has been talking with his daughter and I’m nosy so I’ve been listening in and he just told her Kanye West was Taylor Swifts dad

I feel like ever since I started going to therapy again, I became unfunny and that’s just not okay.

I’m an atheist, but if I’m thinking something unholy, and there’s a thud, an abnormal noise of some kind, you bet your cotton fucking socks I’m apologising to Jesus.

So, where I work, I see some of the most out of pocket shit ever, like I saw random police officers walking around with guns strapped to their chests laughing and drinking coffee. Like is this a normal day in the life for you guys?? Have some gossip with your work bestie while a LITERAL ASSULT RIFLE IS IN YOUR HANDS. Coffee time BUT WITH A FUCKING GUN??? Wild.

Evidently, Pedro Pascal is being added to my “he’s like a lana del rey song” list.