Shit MTRCB Permits Say

This may seem like a small thing, but if the MTRCB continues to act as a political body, we need to worry about the kind of ratings they might give to films that go against the accepted government narrative. In the best of times, the MTRCB is a mere annoyance. In the worst of times, it is an active censor of any sort of political dissent. That is shit in the highest order.

If you can find the R18 version, then that will be 100 minutes.

Please take note of this if you want to see The Green Inferno. "Sanitized well enough to conform to R13 standards." What this means in practice is that five whole minutes of the movie has been cut from this version. Is there still any point to screening the film?

This permit asks all the pertinent questions. The second one is the most interesting. Why indeed are they using bananas and cucumbers to demonstrate the proper use of condoms? The question raises more questions. Like, what does the committee want them to use? Anatomically accurate dildos? Or perhaps actual penises? I'm very interested in what the committee thinks is the proper way to teach young people how to use condoms. They clearly have methods of which we are not aware.

I’ll note that Transformers 4 was given a G rating, and that was a film that featured a bunch of people getting killed, at times in horrific ways. But I guess Optimus Prime didn’t say “bayag” at any point, so I guess we’re okay.

For everyone asking: here is what the MTRCB Permits board looks like at Gateway. Most theaters should have something like this near the ticket counter. Megamall still has their permits behind the counter, which should really be fixed. Anyway, if you want to read the permits, this is what you should be looking for.

I’m not certain how it’s all put together, but the MTRCB members are all presidential appointees. Presumably, recommendations are taken from different sectors and a list of candidates is made, and then the office of the president chooses who gets to go in. But I don’t really have insider knowledge on this matter.

I actually once reported SM North EDSA to the MTRCB for having their permits behind the ticket counter, out of reach of the moviegoer. North EDSA has since put up a board beside each of their ticket counters.

I don't even know what to make of this one. Battles of fighting! Make-believe and out of this world thing! It's a bizarre approximation of language. If the writer behind this review took the Turing Test, I'm not entirely sure he or she would pass for human.

Also, where the hell did they see snuff sex in Her?

I guess it’s kind of appropriate that a permit of a children’s film reads like it was written by a child.

HOLD ON TO YOUR CHILDREN! I really love this one. At the very least, it offers some practical advice to parents, even if it doesn’t exactly sound like the kind of thing that ought to be on a government document.

Once again, the MTRCB showing great enthusiasm for a movie. I’m not sure the permit is meant to double as marketing, but I guess I should be happy that they actually wrote something vaguely descriptive in this instance.

The silliness of MTRCB Permits goes back a long way. Back in the dark days of LiveJournal, director Quark Henares was already taking note of the dire absurdity that is funded by our taxpayer money.

Like a fine cheese, Trophy Wife is “matured.”

A VERY INSPIRING FILM! The committee couldn’t hold back their enthusiasm for this G-rated picture, which at one point had Enrique Gil asking Liza Soberano if she wanted to taste his hotdog. One imagines that these committee members went home and promptly asked their respective significant others if he or she wanted a taste of hotdog as well. INSPIRING!