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After much delay wow im back with stuff on Samson, the electric charged great white shark who somehow greatly resembles a certain TV host from the 1950s!
-Samson has a business partner named Anthony deLuca (usually just goes by Luca) and he helped Samson start on the process of actually reopening the aquarium as a business. They're best friends, but purely platonic, despite what some new fans of the aquarium might think.
-Samson is a hand-on owner and manager of the aquarium, always fixing everything himself if absolutely possible. There's a few things he does have to call professionals for, but ideally he'd like to DIY the solutions where he can.
-Samson isn't stupid, but he doesn't know a lot of things, and doesn't have the same frame of mind or experience with certain subjects as humans. To fill these gaps in his knowledge he reads a lot, but he struggles with having books in an aquarium since he has to be in human form to read them.
AND....the real problem for the aquarium. The problem they hadn't seen coming. The cult.
When Vincent died, he took the entire cult with him. Or....almost the entire cult. Samson doesn't know the full history of the cult, but he knows they call themselves The New Vision, and they pop up again every 10-15 years almost on a cycle, and they're usually driven by a dissatisfaction with the evolution of media and technology, tho he can never tell if they want to go BACK to the old ways or just want a DIFFERENT future.
The leader of The New Vision is always a slender figure in a suit with a TV-shaped mask that covers the whole head and is called Vox bc they're the Voice of the New Vision. Samson is pretty sure Vox is always a man bc they take direct inspiration from the way Vincent ran his movement in the 1950s but he admits one of the Voxes so far COULD have been a woman. What he knows is the current Vox took over in 2020 and took advantage of his new members feeling angry and isolated by the pandemic, and he is far more ambitious and active than any of the previous leaders. He could even put Vincent to shame with how actively he conspires against everyone around him.
He hasn't said as much openly when he talks to the media, but the latest Vox has an ultimate goal of EMF bombing the world to recreate it how The New Vision wants. The bigger problem is, even with Samson's limited knowledge of technology, he knows THIS COULD ACTUALLY CRIPPLE THE WORLD. (And it could.) Luca is kind of impressed that a cult genuinely has a goal that could work bc normally cults are about ascension and godhood and don't have any way or plan to affect people outside the cult beyond good old fashioned violence. Frankly it concerns him bc who the fuck is the newest Vox? He's way too smart for him to have come out of nowhere with all this knowledge and planning.
The New Vision likes to visit the aquarium bc that's where their original membership died so they treat it like a pilgrimage. Unfortunately the moment anyone clearly identifies themselves as being from TNV they have to be removed from the premises bc they're banned due to previous bad behavior. Samson doesn't like to ban people, but Vox knows who Samson is somehow and keeps sending people to ask him about Vincent and a few have gotten handsy with him since it's the closest they'll get to actually feeling up their God of Entertainment. Security has been hired solely because of them. (Samson can ordinarily handle any regular misbehaving customer himself but TNV always catches him off-guard.)
like obviously Garak seeing himself as a beast, a monster, a threat to Doctor Bashirβs physical and mental wellbeing.
heβs old, broken, cursed to languish in cold and desperation, and the young brilliant doctor brings him a glimpse of happiness.
oh, if only this kind man could truly love him, but alas, Garak is unlovable at his core.
but also Bashir sees himself as a beast β an augment, not quite a human, uneven and unworthy of all his accomplishments because of his parentsβ decision, not his own.
and hereβs this dashing older gentleman, naturally gifted with intelligence and wisdom. if only this kind man could truly love him, but alas, Julian is undeserving of being understood.
Some church person: back in bible times all this "woke" nonsense didn't exist!
Me: FUCK YOU! *neurodiverges ur bible figures*
David, Son of Jesse, King of the Jews was DEFINITELY ADHD it makes everything make so much more sense. His mobility and adaptability in battle, his hyperfixations, his impulsiveness, his love of very strange little stims and tics and the way he sought comfort in those who put up with and accepted those behaviors in him the most? GOD literally had to remind him to eat sometimes in the bible, legitimately, because he was hyperfixating.
Joseph, Twelfth Son of Jacob, owner of a VERY nice coat.....AuDHD as FUCK. Flip flopping between interpreting dreams well and not interpreting the spoken word well. No concept of boundaries because no one explains it to him. Please please please let him info dump on you. Literally has anyone seen his AMAZING COAT? Yes he's shown you ten times in three minutes, how about an eleventh?
King Saul....man is so bipolar I don't know how he functions. His highs are amazing, but so are his lows. He literally tried to kill David several times, and he LOVES David. (He may have also had a brain tumor, which would have made both his highs and lows WORSE.)
Jesus Christ of Bethlehem. HA. Have you guys actually read the bible? I don't know what my boy would be exactly but there aint a neurotypical bone in his body. He will backhand you for disrespecting women, he has no boundaries, he has so many poetic phrases but responds to few. He once literally chased the moneychangers out of the court of the gentiles using a whip HE MADE RIGHT THERE bc HOW ELSE DO YOU MAKE SURE IT'S JUST RIGHT? Once cursed a fig tree bc it didn't have figs when he wanted them. When he was in his 20s he was attending a wedding and his mom kinda forced him to replenish the wine and he clearly wanted to disappear into the foreground bc "mooooooom". When he was a small child his whole family accidentally left him behind at the temple and instead of panicking he found some priests and started info dumping to them. He has to repeat everything three times not just because they aren't LISTENING (they aren't tho) but because he has a NEED to say things three times. He's the most important person alive but clearly hates being put on the spot and complains pretty much every time someone does it.
there's so many other examples but these were the ones at the top of my head
im not gonna force anyone to read the bible but ya know....put aside the rhetoric and these mofos pretty nd, aint they?
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Someone: stop making Hazbin Hotel OCs
Me: oh my....anyways here's another!
Webster is the Internet Overlord!
Expert ragebaiter, toxic true crime nerd, king of the trolls, he'll doxx you for one corn chip, source of 90% of misinformation deep fakes in Hell, often sends avatars in his place to meetings or doesn't show up at all, opting to spy on them through cameras and bugs instead. Chronically online. Could speak 100% in memes if he chooses to, and sometimes he does just to piss people off.
I went back and forth on when I wanted him to be from. And then, I found it....believe it or not in the song "Welcome to the Internet". The internet was mostly harmless blogs and travelogues and whatnot until the early 2000s, especially after 9/11. Webster is a person who uses the internet to make people feel worse because he feeds off of their pain, he was probably delighted when tragedy hit his country and he could feed off of it. He thirsts for the tears shed by the cyberbullied. He practically invented cyberbullying.
He's probably the ISP for Voxtek! Oh suuuuure, Vox could go with someone else if he wants except OH WAIT Webster is the only real option! He made sure of that!
And I've gone back and forth as well on which animal Webster actually resembles. His most common avatar resembles a piranha, makes him look small and adorable. He's actually a crocodile, though. One reason in particular I chose it is because crocodiles are known to hunt sharks.
Vox is a shark.
Vox rules cybersecurity now, sure, but he's still the TELEVISION overlord. He couldn't have seamlessly integrated to the next step up without some help. Velvette is the social media overlord but even she has to build off the internet. And all of that adds up to even the influencer overlords needing what Webster provides.
As for how Webster died....I wouldn't be surprised if he faced the consequences of his actions and was actually killed by the family member or spouse of someone he bullied online. Laws about misbehavior online and how it physically affects people and spills over into real life STILL aren't well established, so when Webster was killed in probably 2005-7 or so there really wasn't much to stop him and his killer safely assumed taking matters into their own hands was the only way to make him pay for all the damage he'd already managed to do.
my brain likes OCs in pairs, so it's been bugging me to make someone to go with Chasseur, someone who is to Vox like Chasseur is to Alastor
so
Samson was created.
Aquariums haven't had a very good track record with treating their animals well. They've gotten better lately, but in the 1950s when Vincent Whittman was at his peak of popularity, sharks, his favorite animals, were always more of a temporary side show attraction. They literally couldn't be kept in captivity for longer than a few days to sometimes even hours. There were stories of sharks on display in the 1950s suffocating from lack of space or even dying because they crashed themselves into the walls of their tanks hard enough to shatter the glass and flinging themselves onto the ground.
Vincent chose an abandoned aquarium for his chapel to address his cult, but when aquariums closed in previous decades they didn't always take the animals with them. Samson was a great white shark, and great whites generally didn't last long in captivity. (Even now, the longest record for keeping a great white shark in captivity is 189 days, set in 2024) They assumed he'd die quickly after they left him behind, and they didn't have the means to release him or take him with them.
Then Vincent found a lone starving shark in a tiny tank when he was looking for a location and he loved it immediately. A shark! HIS shark! He spoke kindly to Samson, even fed him! Vincent likely didn't exactly know what sharks were supposed to eat, not any more than your usual citizen in the 1950s, but he loved to feed Samson all the same. Meat, right? Like beef? And pork? Maybe other fish? Samson was finally being indulged by his new favorite person! Someone who wouldn't abandon him....maybe.
Then it happened. The electricity ripped through the entire aquarium, killing Vincent and his followers and even a huge chunk of the remaining animals. Samson included.
Then Samson woke up. There was so much food. But. It was his people. He nibbled a few, they didn't move. Usually when he nibbles people, they scream and thrash. He and all the remaining animals discussed what they should do about the bodies. There were people in uniforms coming in, discussing moving the bodies. But these belonged to them! THEIR people!
The sight of a giant great white shark, inexplicably survivng in very little water and sparking with electricity was more than enough to drive the cops and reporters away. A few reporters delivered a few short articles on the electric shark at the abandoned aquarium inexplicably watching over the body of recently deceased Vincent Whittman, to which the public responded with either vague curiosity and confusion or blatant denial.
Vincent's body was a huge concern to the animals. Without a doubt the humans would come for him. He was important to the humans. But he was important to the animals too! He FED them! He was nice to them when all the other humans abandoned them! The other animals came to the conclusion first and had to convince Samson- he fed us. Samson he fed you. The only way to keep the humans away from his body for good would be to eat him. "He FED you, Samson. He can FEED you. You need more food than the rest of us anyways."
The bodies were never fully recovered from the aquarium. Vincent's body, notably, was never seen again. But a figure resembling Vincent has been seen around the aquarium for the past 70 years since, moving things, arranging things, cleaning and repairing things. He's even been seen in the area buying supplies. And....they're fairly certain that's Vincent Whittman exactly. He looks and sounds exactly the same but Vincent died. Right?
Follow him home to the aquarium, and you'll find lots of people living there, inexplicably. None of the people there are people. Samson has a theory, he's read a lot of books about it-it's not magic, exactly....but also it kind of is. It has to do with the energy of emotion! The more energy imbued into a space, into a bond, the more power it holds over everything contained within it and taking certain ritualistic actions within that space solidifies the power held by the things residing there. Death is also something that spikes that energy. So basically when Vincent and his followers all died simultaneously in a space Vincent loved a lot, it spread its energy out to everything in the space....the animals.
And the ritual was finalized by the animals eating the bodies left behind.
Samson is the only one with more than two forms-shark, human, and mermaid form. The other animals can only be fully human or fully animal. (they aren't all fish, by the way, some are crabs or urchin or shrimp or whatnot)
other changes involve the fact that since gaining human form, the animals require a lot less food to get by. This is especially useful for Samson, who used to require hundreds of pounds of meat to be fully fed and move properly. He still eats a lot for his supposed human frame (far as bystanders are aware, this skinny twink bizarrely eats like twice his weight every week) but he can eat way less than he used to. "Not that i was ever fully fed as a shark, ha ha....Vincent tried, but....even on his salary he couldn't afford to feed me everything I needed."
Attitude-wise, Samson is probably the opposite of Chasseur. He has a family, and he's very team and family oriented. Everything he does is for the good of everyone he's in charge of. He needs to protect them from the humans! They trust him to protect them because he's the biggest and strongest. He's the one with the electric powers, and the giant form. They're all more durable than they used to be, but he knows very well that humans can be wildly unpredictable. Vincent wasn't the first human he met, after all. He still remembers how they used to ogle him and call him a stupid fish, giving him no room to swim, barely any food, prod him when he didn't "perform" properly.
Nisroc is the angel of independence and free will, born of the excess energy created by Lucifer's rebellion. Heaven has...mixed feelings on him. One of the worst days of Heaven's existence created a completely new angel with their own domain and power stemming from the free will Lucifer's rebellion created in humanity.
He was created with his own divine weapon, and a unique ability. On the one hand, this makes him incredibly powerful to a certain degree and it most likely means that God himself approves of Nisroc. On the other hand, he's limited and he just reminds Heaven of Lucifer constantly.
And Nisroc was assigned to Michael as his new assistant. Part of it is to keep Nisroc under the watchful eye of an archangel, and part of it is to make someone keep an eye on Michael. He's a war veteran several times over and sometimes he's...not okay.
I roleplayed as a version of Nisroc for a while so im just gonna take the character I used and transpose him slightly.
Nisroc's unique divine weapon is a whip, for the record. He can grab things with it, swing on it, and even bind people. Since he has a natural divine weapon, he can technically hurt other angels, too....don't make him aware of it, though. And his unique ability...is a doozy in the Hazbinverse, when you think about it.
Nisroc can release any kind of binding or contract that is not mutual or willed. Basically, if a contract becomes one-sided only meant to trap someone, he can sever it. (For instance: since Alastor was no longer upholding his end of the deal with Rosie, it would have fallen under Nisroc's domain to sever if he chose, just to choose something that explains this better. Or if Valentino stops providing the fame and money Angel gets for his work, Nisroc could technically sever that one as well.)
Nisroc is stymied, however, by the fact that he is a literal twink and doesn't have the physical strength to fight proper overlords. One of his strongest weapons against them is his ability to conjure and banish a weapon against them at will. It has its uses, but it's far from practical. And how often does severing contracts come up, anyways? Especially considering his domain of free will only allows him to sever the contracts that aren't wanted or beneficial to both sides.
Imagine Michael finally visits the Hazbin Hotel to see Lucifer and Charlie, and he's accompanied by a small twinky dark-haired angel who keeps trying to rein Michael in when he's getting manic. Michael is very strange about explaining exactly who his assistant is, but his assistant has opinions and he won't hesitate to share them with you. He doesn't seem to physically possess a verbal filter, he's wholly unlike anyone else they've ever seen from Heaven. Nisroc is the most bizarre angel they've ever seen, he's...not quite the same as other angels, but he's not a demon. If anything, he feels like...a human.
I've been begging my brain to stop giving me Hazbin Hotel OCs but then it gave me
Michael
and im like, y'know what, yeah
Michael is an identical twin to Lucifer....or he used to be. Back in the day, they used to be identical, not even the other archangels or seraphim could tell them apart. Except...well, Lucifer was the creative one, the artsy one. Michael was the clever one, that's why he was the one entrusted with the army and the organization. After the rebellion and Lucifer was cast down, the visual divide between the twins grew larger.
Some might even mistake Michael for the kinder twin, since he still glows with gold and lilac tones. His long tousled golden curls, pearly whites, and soft voice....isn't he just the perfect image of a divine angel?
Then you talk to him, and by his own admission in private, "I don't have the natural inclinations towards empathy my brother does. He's punished with inactivity in Hell because he instinctively loves them and wants to reach out to them. I...don't have that. I can sympathize, but empathy is beyond me."
And just because Michael is the less creative brother doesn't mean he's not capable of making some rather complex designs, and traps and...wait, who's the king of hell again? Right, Lucifer. Not Michael.
Don't play competitive games against Michael. He's cutthroat when there's a single winner to be declared. He'll be everyone's friend when it's teamwork, but he will sell you to Satan for one corn chip in multiplayer competitive.
Michael is the sort to 'nip a problem in the bud' more often than not, and many believe he might have even sold out Lucifer because he foresaw giving humans free will as a huge problem that would spiral out of control and thus Lucifer had to be cast down before it became something they couldn't handle anymore. He's very much in the camp of "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", and is seen about Heaven doing things that are considered weird and ineffective on a daily basis. (it's mostly routine maintenance and probably at least half the reason why Vox's laser didn't do MORE damage)
A lot of people believe there are only two relationships between twins, and that's either 100% in sync or sworn enemies. Lucifer and Michael have a difficult relationship in that they definitely loved each other but they're were different people and had different reactions to everything.
Michael wants to visit Lucifer, there's actually nothing stopping him from visiting Hell to see his brother. He's the head of the militia, the big brother of all angels, he could totally do it! He doesn't, however, and he has a million excuses publicly for why. The actual reason: he thinks Lucifer hates him. He thinks Charlie will have been conditioned to hate him. He's pretty sure the sinners will all hate him by virtue of being an angel in a position of authority.
When they're excited, the twins are actually almost identical for reals. Their tones are the same, their eyes light up the same, and they have the same laugh.
Lucifer is obsessed with ducks, and has an apple cane. Michael prefers cats and his cane has a dove on it. Why cats vs Lucifer's ducks? Michael will chuckle and "let me tell you a story about a frog and a scorpion sometime"
Michael's fight logic depends on how many people are involved. If he has other people with him, it's "live to fight another day". If he's alone, it's "no perfect wins". The second strategy involves fighting as dirty as possible because it won't affect anyone else so he'll do whatever he can to make sure his opponent isn't getting away neatly no matter how the fight ends. "The thing about fair fights is that they don't exist. I have been in enough wars to know that."
If Lucien ever got into trouble with Vox, like being dragged to hell via his connection to his great grandfather, Absalom would agree to swap places in a heartbeat. And Lucien would do the same for him. (Absalom would probably try to ban Lucien from being dragged to hell by Alastor bc "I'M the expert in voodoo here, I'M the one who knows how to get out by myself, I need you here on THIS side setting everything up again and I am NOT letting you self-sacrifice over me"
just in general the idea that, despite whatever relationship their ancestors have, these boys would happily sacrifice for each other unless the other literally asked them not to.
Absalom agreeing to be Vox's captive in Lucien's place and Vox doesn't know what to do with this tiny human version of Alastor? He sounds kind of like Alastor, and even kinda looks like him, except Absalom actually has updated to modern technology and listens to him? He critiques Vox frequently, but he offers it constructively. "I just don't know how well this plan was thought through. Have you tried asking a small child if it sounds good? If the child says it just sounds cool, maybe put it through the chopping board a few more times; Lucien's had a few sales plans in the past that have been like that too. Just think it over a few more times, it's got potential."
Lucien taken captive by Alastor would be a menace bc he's of the opinion that as an overlord and a serial killer he's actually mid. He's got reasonable complaints, but Lucien is the visual entertainment major and he is so well aware of media circus and how it all works and he doesn't know why someone who got into the media optics so early in the existence of the entire field wouldn't know how terrible his plans are???? "Your whole career is one long hundred year spanning Batman Gambit, and you don't even know who that is...."
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i can see problems rising already about Chasseur seeking a relationship with Vox despite being a regular deer originally
Chasseur currently sits somewhere between human and deer
he started as a deer, but he's so completely different from them now that they definitely don't recognize him as one of them. He's some kind of creature that can just look like them sometimes.
meanwhile to humans, Chasseur is either a completely inhuman creature, OR maybe he's a human that can turn into a deer-like....thing.
He's had a hundred years to learn how humans work. And he has to integrate with them sometimes, after all. When New Orleans flooded around the time Katrina hit, he probably even helped some humans escape solely because he was bored and he could. As for the truly foregone humans he found....well, those were meals. But people just stranded by water? Well, he's a benevolent king of his territory, isn't he? He can help them out, they're so helpless to such minor things, it's cute.
So we kind of hit the monster territory for Chasseur. Not close enough to his initial animal mindset to be recognized, but also not human enough to be properly integrated with society.
I bet when he talks to other deer, they respond to him as a polite note. Not because he's a deer. He's someone who can talk to them, even if some part of him wants to bc he knows at one point he WAS a deer? But the other deer know he's not a deer anymore. Not really.
If Chasseur had enough downtime, the loneliness of being such a bizarre cryptid might even get to him.
But he lives in New Orleans, and one way or another something is always happening to distract him.
i had a thought of Vox getting stuck on Earth but he's found by a giant dark deer with glowing eyes and it just watches him before realizing even though he smells of blood he clearly isn't dying anytime soon. Chasseur changes form so he can examine his new prey carefully
Vox is face to face with a naked Alastor look-alike that keeps touching him and examining him left and right. Chasseur thinks he's shiny and loves how it buzzes when he licks the TV head.
Chasseur loves the aesthetics of modern technology even if he doesn't know how to use any of it. It's pretty. Vox is pretty. Every time Vox makes a spark he loves it, it's beautiful.
Vox almost humors Chasseur, thinking of him like a pet that just happens to be able to look human, but Chasseur thinks it's hilarious. If Vox wants to treat him like a pet in that he feeds him treats and whatnot, sure.
But he's not a pet. He's a wild animal.
And he's a hundred years old.
And he has this buzzing in his head that has allowed him to slip into human society when he wants. He's talked to other deer, but they don't know how he does it. They're so simplistic in comparison to him. It's like he's not properly a deer anymore. Whatever power was imbued in Alastor's body got passed on to Chasseur, so now he's neither human nor animal, but something else entirely.
Humans have tried to curry favor with his human form. Animals have tried to curry favor with his animal form- to the animals, he feels like a human keeper, ruling over them with his grasp on organization and hunting and human patterns. But the humans think of him as an animal, an impulsive creature with no morals. He has morals! He just doesn't think of eating food to be a moral quandary???? (And the other deer don't even know what a moral quandary is, smh.)
So Chasseur is greatly offended that Vox also thinks of him as only an animal. He likes the treats, and the scratches behind the ears, and the fact that he lets Chasseur relax in his lap sometimes....but it's not because he sees him as a person. He found this person in his swamp! Took him to his house and found him food and drink and clothes! Doesn't that make Vox....HIS pet?
"I'm nobody's fucking pet!"
"And I'm not your pet either. I rule this swamp." Silence. "So let's start over, friend- they call me Chasseur."
".......Vox."
Chasseur is excited to tell the other animals he has a friend. The gators think Vox is a pet, and wonder if he'll let them eat him. No???? If anyone's going to eat Vox, it's gonna be him??? He's keeping this human, and if he dies again, Chasseur will eat him. Simple. But really, Vox is a friend. The deer watch him bring Vox food and lick him and snort and bump his head frequently and are like
"oh that's your FRIEND, huh?" Chasseur denies it. This is his new FRIEND. The deer aren't buying it. "Wish I had a FRIEND like that."
he was originally a white-tailed deer! probably the runt of his herd, and they ordinarily only live about 5-6 years, maybe 10 if they're lucky. (they can reach upwards of 16 in captivity) so pre-magic Chasseur had effectively lived most of his life on the corpses Alastor accidentally fed him.
Deer are opportunistic omnivores, meaning they usually only eat meat to supplement their diets or in emergencies when they need extra protein and nutrients and they typically only eat small animals like birds or rats. You could, under totally normal circumstances, see a deer devour a squirrel whole. They're also known for feasting on the piles of guts left behind by hunters sometimes. Chasseur being a deer eating meat is actually not one of the weird traits about him.
Chasseur doesn't like gators bc the ones he grew up around were territorial and ate most of the good food before he could get to it. Now he's bigger than them, he likes to think of himself as a good "person" bc he gives part of his prey to the gators.
Chasseur's human form resembles Alastor's human body, save for a few details such as his eyes being green and having vitiligo markings matching the spots and marks of his deer body, including a white patch extending from the lower back almost to the back of his thighs as a representation of his tail. If he so chooses, he can probably still conjure his tail, but the human who looked like this didn't have a tail so Chasseur just doesn't think about it much in human form.
Chasseur straight up steals things in human form, but it's not exactly like people can do much about it. A man walks into your shop and just grabs an armful of ice cream or apples and walks out. If you grab him, he can manhandle you with a single hand, and his eyes glow with the fires of hell, and nothing about him feels natural. A CRYPTID just walked in and stole food from your store, are you REALLY going to follow that up?
Chasseur lives in Alastor's old cabin. It's been left alone mostly because the cryptid deer has been seen around it and maybe city hall wants to do something but the locals aren't touching it. He mostly wears the clothes left behind in the cabin, but sometimes he has to steal clothes too. He is still trying to figure out how currency works.
He has at least a couple of suits custom tailors by a local seamstress. Chasseur showed her the old suits from Alastor's closet and asked if she could make more??? He has...money? Humans like money. The seamstress was very concerned bc this client talks like he doesn't speak human words often, and money is a brand new concept to him? His eyes glow and his whole vibe is otherworldly, but underneath it all is a regular threat, like being in close proximity to a bull about to charge for fun. Her client is an animal in a high tension environment. So she treated Chasseur like an animal. And....it worked. Chasseur got two suits, she got probably way too much money bc the deer doesn't know how much you're SUPPOSED to pay people, and she also got a story about how the local cryptid shapeshifted into a person to buy a suit from her.
on the one hand i was gonna stop making OCs for Hazbin and try to use what i already have
but then i didn't
in the bayous of New Orleans, just out of town, in the older quarters, they say there wanders a deer they've come to call Le Chasseur, "The Hunter". The deer has been seen wandering about for a hundred years, and it's unmistakable
it's large, it's dark, its eyes are large and green and glow in the dark
it hunts slowly, but it will never feed until it's certain you're dead. If you encounter it while you're injured, your blood will draw it in but it will simply stand there and watch you. It will wait for you to die as long as possible. As though the deer knows it can have any meal it wants, it's abandoned the thought of only eating meat as an emergency. It prefers meat. It wants yours, but it's patient. It can wait. It can wait as long as necessary.
They say it can even change form into a monster, or a human. But it watches and waits regardless which form it takes.
But why does Le Chasseur exist?
Well....
Let's go back to the 1920s, when a certain radio host used to hide his prey in the bayou once he was done with them. The gators fed well, but a small thin deer watched too. He couldn't get much meat, the gators always took everything. Ordinarily the deer only ate a bit at a time to supplement his feeble diet, he was the weakest one in his herd, he was left behind and abandoned. He's a scavenger, scrounging for whatever plants and meat he can find. Ordinarily all he can find are birds or tiny rodents, but the radio host brings enough bodies to the swamps that even the deer can eat richly sometimes.
he almost thinks he loves that human
but he'd love to know what the human tastes like more. If the people the human brings taste so good, how does he taste?
Then there was an incident. A human hunter shot the radio host while he was disposing of a body. The gators frenzied immediately to the body, while the deer watched the host. The hunter was trying to hunt deer, the human skull isn't tough enough to withstand a bullet the way their skulls are. The deer watched as the radio host desperately attempted to drag himself away, blood everywhere, skull filling with blood and the deer simply walked and watched and waited
it waited
it took several minutes. the hunter who shot him had already fled, perhaps out of fear, or perhaps to get help. They wouldn't make it back in time. The gators were ravenous, and the deer has been waiting for this meal for so long. And he's patient. What's a few more minutes when it's already waited years. If the herd that abandoned him could only see his luck now, they'd hate themselves for missing out, right?
the radio host tastes different than he expected. Better. And something buzzes and tingles in the meat, like that newfangled electricity the humans have in their cities and streets. It's delicious, it's the best thing the deer has ever eaten, he can't stop.
Things weren't the same after that. The deer saw other deer, but they were born and grew and died and he ate them and he stayed strong, and when he wanted he could even change his form...he looks like the man who used to feed him that delicious treat, and he can go into town and take other foods. And he can be large and menacing too.
He loves it.
And now it's been a hundred years and Le Chasseur continues to simply live and eat. He's called a hunter, but he doesn't even need to hunt you...not when he knows exactly how to make you freak out and prepare yourself for him.
And if he does actively hunt you....well damn boy. The hell did you do? Animals don't typically hold grudges easily, but you must have done something nasty for the hunter deer to hate you. He doesn't hate anyone. He's a DEER. He's opportunistic, not malicious.
But imagine the crew ends up on Earth and they're being followed by Chasseur. He's really creepy and he keeps staring at them and it takes forever to realize he's drawn by the smell of blood and he's just following them to make sure he gets first dibs on their corpses. He's just waiting. (Charlie would probably think it's cute in deer form bc he's just being a DEER! Then he takes human form and....well, it's less cute, but he's still just being a deer, right? Vaggi freaking out bc "he's not cute, he's waiting for us to die!" "he's just following his animal instincts! he's just hungry!" "if he was hungry he'd just find it somewhere else, he's HUNTING us, Charlie!" )
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We all know Hal looks gorgeous with long hair, but have you ever considered Sinestro with long hair? I'm sure he'd hate it, call it impractical, but I bet he'd look majestic.
i have considered sinestro with long hair!!!! well as long as shoulder length anyway. in the flop era au i've imagined them going on a roadtrip at some point and end up in a cabin up north living their weird isolationist hermit cozy lives for a winter
I had a dumb thought that it'd be fun if, with absolutely no context or pressure
Absalom and Lucien created Vtuber models that look almost exactly like Alastor and Vox
They're actually called Sommeil Nuit and Vox Machina and nickname their show Nox and Vox. They're indie, not corpo, so everyone knows what they look like and they perform as themselves frequently
How shook they'd be to find out their Granduncle/Great Grandfather look exactly like their Vtuber characters. What were the ODDS?
Extra fun fact: bc Absalom is the one involved in more traditional theater, he's the one who makes their Vtuber costumes and props and he hates when fans get too handsy bc his radio staff is DELICATE and he's probably had to remake Vox's TV head mask like five times bc people keep touching and grabbing and even kissing it sometimes. It has electronics in there, man! Lights and circuits and fans so Lucien can breathe and not overheat, you guys need to stop grabbing at him. He knows, the TV man is hot, but every time Absalom has to remake the mask it's an extra one to two weeks of work. Could you just, like....try to tear his shirt open instead or something? The clothes are way easier to repair.
Vox meets Absalom in costume somehow and is startled that Alastor is suddenly being....nice? WHY? Why would he tend to a weak nearly passed out Vox? And Absalom is confused bc "I, a decent human being-" YOU WHAT
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