if I ever went to the Golden Globes I would wear a gown made of folded Starburst wrappers like those purses and wallets the cool girl in your grade who is now a niche tattoo artist would make in 2006 and sell for five dollars

Is it the sound of my premature Moët bubbles at 10:23 pm on December 30th or is it the HOA-installed sprinklers through the cracked window of our corner house spilling recycled water over the non-existent grass in the empty shared space outside of our work-in-progress fence line by the tree that the hummingbird visits once or twice a month if we’re lucky? Either way the sound smells like a fire burning close by and I’m chilly so thank goodness for a Blue kitten nibbling my ear whilst snoozing across my neck as a scarf purring me to sleep soon while a cracked Pepper kit keeps a close watch on said noisy window

everyone always feels bad for me and I refuse to be felt bad for

so ur telling me that people are actually going to be looking at me @ my wedding this weekend??? Hate it

oh to lead a life exciting enough to feel like I am worthy of a “do not disturb” feature

the end of my wits leads to the beginning of what, exactly?

No time to miss Joan but it finally caught up to me

feeling like sleeping in my plywood closet until someone pry-walls me out

Fuck yeah, little one

irony ivory and the kitchen grout needs cleaning