Rania22

Martin Johnson Heade (1819-1904) American

Two Hummingbirds Above a White Orchid, 1875-1890

Siamo piedi in cerca di scarpe, finché non comprendiamo quanto è bello camminare scalzi sull'erba.

I sat comfortably in his lap, feeling his arms snake around me, fingers dancing along my sides. I thought nothing of it, continuing to let my own fingers move up and down the piano. I hummed along to the notes, trying to tune out his words and off key singing. It was one of those moments again, where I tried to distract myself from what was happening through music.

His lady would not be home for a few hours. That is where I came in, his sinful secret accompanying him to do – well, whatever he wanted. The arrangement was enticing at first, as I had the pleasure to visit and stay (even if it was only for a brief period) at such a grand summer home. He was an average looking gentleman, but the status he held was what drew me towards him. In the beginning it was an exhilarating feeling.

But my elation was short-lived.

With each visit, I grew increasingly detached. I have lost count at this point. How long has it been? Disassociating had become my coping mechanism. It seemed as this was my purpose and life now – forever known as his mistress. Is this title all I am to him? Did my feelings or thoughts matter in the slightest? I had forgotten who I was before his affair. It is all a blur. I try to not think about much when he touches me. It was no longer enjoyable or meaningful, sleeping with him. Of course, I knew better than to speak up.

My fingers froze as I am snapped from my thoughts, noticing the rays of sun illuminating them. The warmth of the light spreads throughout my body, and I turn to face the source. I never paid much attention to the window before, yet the scene before me had me entranced. I could hear the birds and their beautiful songs. The wind shook the trees lightly, the leaves a marvelous and rich green color. What a wonder our world is, and how endless its beauty seemed.

His words went in one ear and out the other and I paid him no mind. Thoughts frantically ran through my head as I continue to stare out into the garden. The world was at my fingertips, opportunities at every corner. I am worth more than this. I am more than just a mistress. I am my own person, not his in any way, shape, or form. I am only trapped if that is how I viewed the situation. I began to slowly stand up from his lap, his playful protests sounding muffled as I began to dream of tomorrow. Little did he know, this sudden revelation would conclude our conclaves. The second my gaze faltered, I would take my leave and never look back.

This is my awakened conscious.

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The above is a short-written prose of William Holman Hunt’s Awakening Conscience, painted in 1853. I decided for this assignment to write from the perspective of the woman, who had become numb with her life as a mistress. You can tell she is one by looking closely at her hands, no ring visible. The comfortable and flirty body language the man encompasses further proves this. What I like about this painting in particular is that we can see the look of awe on her face as she stares out into the garden, reflected in the mirror behind them. It is clear she has come to some sort of revelation, and the action of her leaving the man’s lap could be interpreted as realizing she wants to leave the affair behind. With that prompt in mind, I went into detail to describe what the woman could had thought beforehand – perhaps this was a deal that had been going on for quite some time. It could have taken a toll on her mind and self-worth. To me, the options were endless. The most important part of this narrative, however, is the abrupt awareness to her situation and future the garden scenery prompts. Nature has proven to be inspiring to many, and this was no different. Her realization of a vast world with a plethora of opportunities to take gives her the courage to finally leave. She realizes the “imprisonment” she is feeling is all in her mind – it only has power if she allows it to have power.