Terry, I'm in the Middle of Battle

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

Angel and devil on your shoulder except it’s Terry Pratchett saying writer’s block is fake and Douglas Adams being locked in a hotel room by his publisher so he’d actually work on his manuscript.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

I think as your job satisfaction gets lower and lower you should gain access to an increasingly broad and powerful suite of forbidden magic

i was laying yucky style and i look over to the other side of the couch to see minu doing the exact same and it made me laugh so hard

@videogamecows

I WISH TO PET THEIR NOSE

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed

@videogamecows

what do you mean you havent used mindfulness techniques to accept the state of the torture labyrinth as is yet. its like youre not even trying