Smonk W33d

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

fuck like a green onion

Nge glazing is crazy you know in your heart the answer is unravel

hi we are a24 we make good movies sometimes and sometimes we make bad ones!

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

#my family does this thing#when we've majorly unfucked a room or done chore that we were putting off#or whatever. Any sort of household Improvement.#'Come brag on me.'#I means come look I cleaned/rearranged/did dishes/put away the laundry#and the scripted response is 'oh nice it looks SO much better in here now'#like my mom did this when we were kids.#'girls comr brag on the garage I finally organized it so I can get my car in there'#and we go and 'ooh' and 'aah' and tell her how nice it looked and how she did a good job#and we could have her 'come brag on' us for like doing the dishes or cleaning our rooms#I do it to my wife now too#it's a dialogue that means#'I did a chore and it feels like an Accomplishment even if it objectively wasn't a big thing. Please acknowledge this.'#and#'Wow you sure did do a thing. It has improved our material circumstance even if only in a small way. Thank you for doing it.'#like yeah scrubbing the pans is my Job and it's a Little Task but sometimes it feels like a Big Task#and it's nice to have an Accepted Script where I can just demand 'I have functioned as an independent adult praise me with great praise' - by @thepioden

Let’s fucking go

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

the point where I draw a line on yuribaiting has changed as I've gotten older, but so has my philosophy relating yuribaiting as a whole. it used to be that I stood wholly against it and took every single punch to the gut, but now, I have a much more "rat style" relationship with it: I'll keep eating the bait out of the trap as long as you keep refilling it -- and sometimes I even remember to stop before you add the poison

I often do not, though. I often eat the poison until I get a resistance to it, which is "win-win" as long as I don't die badly

but I often do.

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

thank god some sumerian editor wasn't all "gay shit doesn't sell"