𝑱𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒂

‘ julia. ’ if he could say any more in the moment, he still wouldn't. all the words that could be mustered, or laughed, or screamed at the top of his lungs would always boil down to the one sound anyway. julia. he's aware that they're still watching his eyes when they close, forcing back the sting of tears. one eye feels the pain. the other never will again.

i should have taken care of you, they say. with whatever will he still has, he holds them to his chest, chin resting over their head — searching for closeness, or another way to hide ? even he can't be sure. ‘ we could go. ’

A hand rested on his side as they were pulled in. Their thumb caressing his skin. She had seen the sheen in his eyes. It must have hurt. All the weight on his shoulders, all the burden he carried, they wanted to help him hold it all. Ease his pain. But what could they do but hold him tightly and silently. It was the least they could do.

Julia rested their forehead on his chest once more. How could they feel a pain that was not theirs? The look in his eyes, the silence surrounding them, his admission. Can they really leave when the Syndicate's hands are at his throat and Vicious' are at hers? A heavy feeling in their chest. They knew the odds.

"I can widthstand anything if you're okay."

They didn't want him to face the risk. As long and they came home to him, it would be enough. They can't complain about their life; they wouldn't have known happiness had they not crossed paths. He made their life make sense. All the bad times were worth it the moment they met him.

"I just want you to be safe." Even if they had to appease Vicious and deal with his outbursts. They would for him. "I want to keep you safe." They had failed to keep him safe from Vicious' once. That would be the last time.

"I guess you have a torelable personality..." They pursed their lips as if in thought. A smile held back. "I wouldn't mind dealing with it when we're old and wrinkly." Another peck, already in their own world. "I bet they would agree with me. Handsome, funny..." Julia threw the remaining of the cigarette to the ground. "Who wouldn't want to follow you wherever you lead them?"

Endearing. A peck to his lips. "I don't know, you should ask them." Another peck to his cheek. "If I were them, I'd go to the end of the world with you." A hum and another drag. "I'm telling you, you're a good looking one."

"Let me think about it" They hummed. A drag of the cigarette. "I don't know if I'm the sharing type. Is there any chance I can get your whole heart?" A grin adorned her lips. "I think your special person will understand the circumstances."

so, yes, it's easier in the moment to believe he's sorry for another reason — a kinder, truer reason now that they've walked off with his heart. he has to be better than the selfish wanderer they met all those months ago. should julia mean what they say ( and even what they don't ) then he has to be prepared.

still the wanderer tonight — but one with a purpose at least — he meanders around the corner of the building, smelling his target before seeing it. sure enough, between a full dumpster and the side door, an unopened bottle rests atop a garbage bag. X marks the spot.

checking his six, and then the key still stuck to his palm, he carries their treasure with him under the arm. they won't be meeting at annie's tomorrow — at least, not if he can help it. he'll do his part. he'll follow the instructions to a T. he'll trust, as long as he can, that julia's orders are really coming from them.

Sweaty hands wiped against their skirt, ears still bright red. His actions replayed over and over again in their mind. I'd do more than that if you asked. His voice, his eyes. Did he genuinely mean it? There was no reason to lie to them. The clack of their shoes the only thing that kept them from getting lost in thought.

Why had he done that? A bit of a stumble as they walked in. An apology. A bow. At least he helped with the faux fever, their cheeks were still flushed.

'Can you tell him I might have caught something?' A plea to the manager. Their absence, an issue they'd deal with later. Vicious would not be waiting for them, anyway. He never was.

The time was ticking. Hard to not be anxious now. Would he be there? Would he smile the same way upon seeing her? Sell the act. A shiver and a whimper, putting on an old coat they had forgotten. Don't make him wait long. 'Yeah, overtime tomorrow. Going directly home.' The only truthful thing they had said up until now. They would be taking him home.

A distant call and a nod. It felt like a trap. Was it always this easy to get off work? They'd worry about it later. They could deal with the consequences after. They had something more important to focus on, right now. Spike.

Heart beat faster as they walked out the back door. Eyes locked to the floor. They feared he would have left by now, that they'd have to walk back home. That they weren't worth waiting for. Julia held the coat even tighter. A deep breath. Look up.

A wide smile, eyes glistened. "Hope you didn't miss me too much." A whisper as Julia rushed to his side. "Sorry for the wait. I'll make sure to make it up to you." They nudged him, handing him the only helmet available. "Should we? Make sure to hold tight."

Smile widened. "She might've lucked out..." Julia winked. "You're a really good looking one." They took the cigarette of his hand, placing it in her mouth. Theirs, now. "You could steal someone's heart looking at them like that."