Shining For VIXX

Music: In preparation for the musical, I listened to the songs many times before. (I’m generally slow with appreciating new songs, so I always enjoy musicals so much more if I familiarize myself with the music first.) I dare say, it was no chore listening to the soundtrack before, but hearing it live, and seeing the songs fit together with the performance adds a whole ‘nother layer that makes it all that much better. Seriously, I recommend anyone who likes dramatic musical numbers to go check out the soundtrack! I couldn’t begin to try and choose my favorite because each song has its own charm, and the musical themes(?) that weave through the play are delightful.

Characters: To be quite honest, my favorite character might very well be Luigi Lucheni, the narrator of our musical. He is the murderer of Empress Elisabeth, and he helps to tie the whole story together (as I shall explain in the next section). 박강현 (Park Kanghyun) played the character, dare I say, flawlessly. He was flippant and silly and somehow mocked the very story he told while still making you care what happened. He set the tone for the musical, and without him, the play would not move so like a well-oiled machine, nor would we be able to leave the theater with a smile on our faces.

Sophie is the mother of Emperor Joseph, and is the embodiment of the mother-in-law from Hell. Played by 이태원 (Lee Taewon) she was every bit as horrid and unlikable as you would expect. The only nice thing I have to say about her is her dresses were pretty. (But of course, this means she was acted well, and her singing was likewise beautiful.)

Emperor Joseph, the last Emperor of the Austrio-hungarian empire...This was an interesting role, and I had to put aside my 21st century mindset to accept that he fell in love with his much younger cousin. (Granted, he was set to marry Elisabeth’s older sister anyway, but still). I have seen 민영기 (Min Youngki) in three other musicals, I believe, and honestly my opinion of him oscillates back and forth. This time, I’ll say his performance landed on the positive side. Indeed, one criticism I’ve had of him previously was a lack of emotion beyond emotionless military dude (that one was for Mata Hari). Whether it was my rose-colored glasses going into this musical or a better understanding (read closer to my understanding) of the character, I enjoyed his portrayal of the emperor caught between country, mother, and wife.

I don’t know what it is about gods of death, but they sure are drama queens, aren’t they? Or is that just Ryuk and this Death? Having never personally met a god of death, I couldn’t say, but believe me when I tell you that this role was written for (정택운) Jung Taekwoon. Yes, I am biased. Yes, I half stole the sentiment from a friend. But the fact remains: Jung Taekwoon is a painfully brilliant god of death, or ‘Death’, as it were. I mentioned his outfits earlier and how his form lends to the dramatic beauty of the ensembles, but his mannerisms and singing (not to mention his acting) seal the deal. It really shows that Taekwoon has wanted to perform in this role for years with the obvious effort he put into perfecting his performance. Honestly, even now there is a certain level of anxiety I feel when Taekwoon sings live (especially in tiring situations like concerts or musicals), but I think I can truthfully say that I’ve never heard him sing so well. His bows are all dramatic, and every move he makes is like a dangerous tango drawing you in toward death. One particular mannerism that I loved was this way he drew his right hand down his left cheek in a sensual, dramatic gesture that showed of the beauty of his face. That was the amazing thing about this character: his dark seduction. Death never looked so sexy.

Elisabeth, played by 신영숙 (Shin Youngsuk), was of course a tragic character. I read her bio on Wikipedia a while back and cried at the tragedy of her life and circumstances. One of the difficulties of this role is the actress must play Elisabeth from when she is a girl (or rather young woman) until she dies, so to gracefully show such ageing is not a simple task. (Of course other characters besides Death age as well, but from adulthood to being elderly/an older adult.) I liked how the character was not melancholy and wishing for death (as the true Elisabeth very well might have), but that aspect of her was Romanticized and dramatized into a wish for freedom, and Death was that tempting, seductive route to freedom in some ways. Often a puppet in her own life, she is caught between love for Joseph and Death, but in the end Death is the one who can give her the freedom she always longed for. (A personal note here is that I don’t think Youngsuk will be my favorite Elisabeth because her singing style features a bit too much vibrato for my taste, which makes it extra hard to decipher what she says. Plus chemistry-wise, I assume Ock Joohyun and Taekwoon will be the best match.)

Last (of the main characters) we have Rudolf, son of Elisabeth. He was the one child that Elisabeth had more rein over raising, but as we know from The Last Kiss his ending is not a happy one either. There is a child actor who is adorable and brilliant in the role, and then he grows into adult Rudolf, played by 운소호 (Woon Soho). I thought he did well in the role, and I absolutely loved his sort of dance with Death, the seduction to join his “friend”, when he ended his life.

Plot: I...there is a lot to say here, and I’m already past 1.5k here, so I’ll talk about this later. That being said, I loved the cyclical nature of the story. I am a sucker for things that start, flashback a whole story, and end with the opening scene. In this case, the play opens with Luigi Lucheni on trial (by God?) for killing Elisabeth, but he insists that she loved Death and wanted to die. He then goes on to tell the whole story of her life and how she fell in love with Death. There are many elements of characters being puppets and also of them acting like animated corpses. The creepy circus vibe is right up my alley. Luigi ties the story together (as I mentioned earlier) by both narrating, weaving in and out of scenes as minor characters, mocking the main characters, and eventually acting his own role as murderer of Elisabeth. This is a fabulous musical that doesn’t lull for even a moment. 11/10 would recommend!

I noticed Leo doing this...dumb thing where he was like granting people permission to approach him with a nod of his head. He was the first one in the line up and thus had such power. I guess it went to his head. One time in particular he even held his hand up so the person stopped before he decided they could approach him and nodded his head. This guy smh

Unfortunately, despite my frantically trying to jot down all that happened right when I sat down after talking to all of them, I managed to garble and forget some parts of what happened. This is my attempt at an ‘accurate’ replay of the signings.

As I have mentioned, I was rather nervous before going up to the stage, but upon actually approaching VIXX, I calmed down. Or rather, I wasn’t actually nervous. So I go up to the (unfairly gorgeous silver-haired beauty) Jung Taekwoon. I had sort of tried to think of some things to say, but I didn’t exactly get to say...anything I had wanted to really. Seriously, this guy;; I went up and he said “Hi,” so I said “hi” back. Then he said, “It’s been a while.” Which. It sort of had been? I mean, it depends what he was referring to. I saw him at his musical? And I had seen him the day before at Music Core (where he definitely didn’t see me). If he meant it had been a while since we’d been face-to-face...yeah. It had been about 6 months now that I think of it. Back to the fansign though, Leo glanced at the postcard I had written him and started chatting away. (Now I realize this may have been somewhat my fault because my first line of the letter was something about me possibly not having anything to say at the fansign. He glanced at what I had written and must have seen something about my dream because he suddenly asked what my dream was. I told him I want to be a translator and he immediately said he knows I will become one. Thanks Leo. (This Leo was such a turn around from the poor baby I saw at the LR fansign I went to. Poor sick babyㅠㅠ) He looked at the postcard I gave another time and realized there was Japanese on it. For some reason he was ridiculously surprised and said, “Japanese?!” So I told him I went to Japan. Which he then repeated. So I added that yes, I went, and I saw the hamjji that was so cute (on the postcard) that I had to buy it. He sort of ignored that comment...as he does. He also asked if I like Korea and why I do. I was reminded of the time during a 도원경 fansign when Ken asked what I like best about Korea. Upon hesitating, he offered the answer of “VIXX”, which I readily agreed was the best thing. I tried to use this answer with Leo, but I don’t know if he found it to be too jokey or what, but he was unsatisfied. He further asked if I like Korean food. (Yes.) Then asked if I liked spicy food. (Also yes.) I really feel like I’ve missed something here though because the flow of the conversation seems off...Anyway, we ended with him thanking me and 오래보자s to each other, so I won’t complain. (Except I looked at a video of me that my friend took and realized that I talked to Leo the least of all the membersㅠㅠㅠ He was leading the conversation too muchㅠㅠAgain. However, my friend reminded me that his asking me questions meant he was curious about me, so I feel better about it all haha)

Ravi was after Leo and somehow we managed to not be awkward! It is a miracle! I seriously thought that Ravi and I would be awkward with each other for all of eternity, but finally after 2.5 years of seeing him, 4 other fansigns, and semi-talking to hims once, we may have escaped Awkward Land! I think the first thing he asked me was how I have been (in English), to which I responded in Korean that I was doing well. I had already planned to talk to him about his lyrics/songs, so I told him that I like Navy & Shining Gold. I said I particularly liked the part in the song about being sorry. I also explained that I translate his songs and they are usually really hard (but this one wasn’t). He said hard at like the same time as me too though haha. (I think this was when he said sorry in English.) He said that he should make them easier, but I said no. I like that his lyrics are hard to express in another language because that means they are poetic. I feel like we might have mentioned something else here because we talked for a bit...strange. Anyway, we ended with the typical see you agains. (A side note: I kept being distracted by Ravi’s eyebrow?? The one with the scratch through it?? I kept looking at it when we talked. Even though he had a tissue sticking out of his nose as well because he had a nose bleedㅠㅠ)

Next was our Hyuk baby! I always struggle with what to say to Hyogi because...I don’t know he seems like such a mystery. This time I was prepared with a comment about his song on the album Good Day. I went up and he said hello (안녕하세요), and I replied with the same. I told him that he makes songs really well and that I quite like Good Day. I said that when I just hear the song, I feel great. To which Hyuk replied, “Oh really?” ...This kid;; I added that I like his other songs too. 안아줄게 and Milky Way. He’s really good at making exciting songs. However, this kid continued to not give me any material to work with and said, “Really? Thank you~” At this point, there was a pause where we were just looking at each other and blinking. Upon watching the video my friend shot of me, I couldn’t find this pause, but I swear there was oneㅠㅠ Silly time slowing down on me. Anyway, I figured we shouldn’t just stare at each other for eternity, but I didn’t know what to say anymore and Hyuk wasn’t helping me out either. So I literally said, “I don’t know what I should say.” Then Hyuk smoothly asked where I came from. I decided to lighten the atmosphere by saying the part of Seoul I came from, which made him laugh. (Success!) I continued by telling him I am from California. Then he just said, “California wine!” Cue me not knowing exactly what to do with that semi-statement. I asked if he likes wine, so he said yes and asked for a recommendation. Good thing I like wine too, but honestly I’m still figuring out what I like (and have a bias toward Italian wines for some reason). I thought of this almond wine I’d enjoyed before and tried to describe it. I ended with saying it was a sparkling wine, and Hyuk said, “Oh~ sparkling wine!” That was when he said thanks and we exchanged ‘see you agains.’

Ahhh, then N was nextㅠㅠㅠㅠ He is such a sweetheart and makes my heart all warm and fuzzy every fansign I go to. He seriously must steal so many hearts at fansigns. He makes you feel so special and noticed, you know? I went up to him and he said he remembers me. I wasn’t particularly surprised at this point because I have seen VIXX quite a few times, I know they’ve seen me a few times at least, and I am visually rather different than most fans. Anyway, he said he remembered me and that it had been a long time, right? On the spur of the moment I decided to ask if he knew how long it had been since I started coming to see them. He thought for a moment. Then he said, “I don’t remember exactly, but...3 years?” Although he was asking, his expression was expectant that he was pretty close. I was so...not exactly surprised but happy maybe? I told him it had been almost 3 years. I went to VIXX N Kpop sometimes back in the day. He nodded in understanding saying that that must be why he remembers my face. I told him that back then I didn’t know Korean. He seemed a bit surprised and said my Korean is good now (thanks haha). N said he hoped the radio was helpful and I made sure to say that it really was because he speaks so clearly. And then at the end he said “see you again^^”

Oh Kenneth. That kid was next. He...is always a fun one. He will probably always start in English. He said it had been a long time, so I responded in English that it had been. When he asked if I had been doing well, though, I switched to Korean to say I am doing well. I don’t recall if either of us said much else yet, but I overheard the person next to me speaking to Hongbin in Japanese. That really threw me off because my brain was suddenly like, “Japanese! You should listen to it! I don’t know what Korean isㅇㅅㅇ” I literally put my hands up to block the sound from my right side, and poor little Ken was so confused. I finally got across the point that my problem was hearing the Japanese next to me. The confusion (which he was trying to hide) immediately lifted from his face. Confusion turned to him being impressed and asking if I knew Japanese too. He was like, “You speak 3 languages? Korean, Japanese, and English?” So I told him my history of translating VIXX stuff, starting with Japanese and now mostly just doing Korean. He told me I am a genius (in English). More specifically he said, “Genius이네요!”ㅋㅋㅋ I of course denied being a genius and we said see you again before I moved on.

Last was Hongbin...with whose interaction I don’t remember very wellㅠㅠ I do know that he said my name (which I just love when he says). Then Ken leaned over (because no one was in front of him yet) and told Hongbin that I know Japanese too. Hongbin was impressed and asked how I learned Korean, so I told him. I also semi-jokingly said that VIXX helped me. (But really though.) I told him that I sort of picked up some of the members’ speech patterns because I had watched so much of their stuff, haha. I think he was somewhat amused at that (or didn’t believe me, who knows?). He also asked where I came from, so I asked if he meant now. He said originally, so I told him I was from California but now live in the area of Seoul I live in. He asked (again--see 도원경 fansign #1) how long I have liked VIXX. I said about 4 years (to keep it simple seeing as that is when I feel I became a fan rather than just liking them). He thought I said 3 years though, so I corrected him. He seemed a bit impressed at the length. I think that is all we talked about before saying our goodbyes.

After going through and getting signatures from and talking to everyone, I had to wait a while for everyone to finish. At the end, 2 people were selected to ask questions. One person asked about the order of VIXX’s names in the fanchant for My Valentine. N explained that the order was just the order that the members stand up for the choreography. (The fanchant was changed to this to match the members standing up instead of the usual age order chant.) They also shared how the members almost laughed when the fans were confused that 2 members were standing up at a time (because the music show they were on had cut the song slightly without warning the fans;;). The second question was whether they had cried when listening to a song before. They each went through and answered and they said goodbye and left. (Leo kept waving until the very end and poked his head back out after the door closed. He even opened the 2nd door, which they hadn’t gone through, to wave again. The fan manager had to point that out for us to see because everyone was already getting up to go. That precious kidㅠㅠ

The first time I saw the play, I cried so much at the end. I knew that Rudolf would commit suicide because they implied such in teaser videos, but I didn’t know that he kills Mary (the girl he falls in love with) as well. That really got me along with the tragedy of their romance and just their lives in general. In some ways, it’s hard for me to fall for their romance as much now. Leo and Luna’s acting is completely fine, but my problem is twofold. One, a few people mentioned the tragic position Stephanie (Rudolf’s wife) is put in. I am personally super against cheating even though I know it was a marriage of power, not love. However, Stephanie sometimes seems to have one-sided feelings for Rudolf and that kills me a little bit. Also, I got curious about how true to history the play was, and let’s just say the play romanticized things a bit. Rudolf and Mary did die, supposedly in a suicide pact. But Rudolf was 31 and she was 17. Plus, he apparently actually liked the prostitute he was seeing and even wrote a love note to her before he died? Not to mention Rudolf apparently had a daughter. Basically, the real crown prince Rudolf seems like someone I wouldn’t want to associate with.

Normally, I’m not one to go on about kiss scenes because there is more important content to deal with. Although that remains true, Leo’s kisses in this are worth mentioning because they are so beautiful. There are people that hate those scenes for their various reasons, but his passionate kiss scenes give me life. My faves are when he and Mary are kneeling and they start to kiss, but he moves up higher and she sort of bends her head back. Maybe it’s the possessiveness of it that I like, haha

Okay, so during curtain call everyone comes and bows, right? Leo is supposed to lead the group bows because he is the main character. Well, towards the end, he is supposed to applaud the orchestra, and I don’t know if he got distracted or something, but he almost moved past it to the final bow. When he was about to grab Larisch’s hand, he realized his mistake and led the applause for the orchestra, but he was bowing apologies and laughing at his error. He even ended up on the ground bowing to them as well, and Taaffe (Kim Jun Hyun) went over and was sort of playfully hitting him. Leo must have bowed in apology a good two more times after that (and his apology bows were 90 degrees, not the usual head bow he does for some reason).

I’d like to add a side note on the Korean (or rather Seoul) musical scene. I saw someone mention somewhere that the Korean musical scene seemed small because actors keep working together. It is small in that Korea, and especially Seoul, is “small”. If you come from the US, Korea is tiny; it’s a 4th of the size of California. Yet, there are a good number of actors and musicals here. Part of why you see a lot of the same actors is that certain ones gain a following, a fandom if you will, and their popularity (and skills of course) keep getting them cast in roles. Also, musicals generally run somewhere from 2-4 months here, so you get a really fast turnover rate (if I’m using that correctly). Basically, actors aren’t stuck in the same role for years like might happen on Broadway. Last, certain musical companies seem to return to actors they casted before. Take Leo for example, he has been in EMK musicals since the first run of Mata Hari. They like him, and the other actors he keeps reappearing with are often actors who have also been in EMK musicals for a while. (However, musical actors aren’t technically associated with these companies; they might be with their own management agency.)

(I realize this wasn’t a very plot-driven post, so sorry if you were here for that content instead of whatever this is;;)

Leo had a great time on stage alone this day. He did the first day as well, but he really savored it, saying hi to lots and lots of people and wandering around all parts of the stage to see and wave at everyone. He was saying how it’s really the only time he’s been alone on stage like that. He also talked about how wonderful the fan-singer relationship was. Some people may not understand it, but they don’t understand all the memories and feelings they share. When VIXX goes on stage in front of other fans at music shows and such, Leo is sort of uncomfortable/embarrassed, but he described seeing Starlights coming in as like meeting another Korean person while abroad. I love that description because if you have ever been struggling to get by in a foreign country with language barriers and that, you will understand this feeling perfectly of how at ease you can feel when coming across someone from your home country.

I don’t remember what song they were talking about, but I think it was Chocolatier. Anyway, Ravi said that people saying it was erotic/scandalous, and Leo acted like he didn’t understand. Sure kiddo.

They were talking about their solo stages, and Leo was bragging talking about his performance of From Way Up there (from the premiere version of Mata Hari). He said that the director of Mata Hari had messaged him to say he heard the response to his performance was great. Then Ravi was half jokingly calling Leo a musical actor, and Leo was like, if I call you a rapper, that’s not making fun of you. So Ravi said he was being sincere when calling Leo a musical actor. Then Leo/Starlights were asking about whether Ravi was going to do any acting. Ravi said that he had to let the other members have their own thing (and that he shouldn’t upstage them basically, haha). But Leo said that Ravi would copy Leo practicing for his new musical and made Ravi sing part of it. Ravi sang it beautifully by the way.

They were talking about the VCRs that they filmed and the awkward things that happened. In one scene they were spray painting a car and then throwing paint everywhere. Leo said he tried to copy how Ravi confidently just went up to the car and painted, but then his can of paint didn’t really work so he was having to shake it around. Ravi said that he threw the paint really well and asked if he did that a lot when he was younger, so Leo whined for him to not say that kind of thing because his parents were there that day hahhahaa

Apparently on the day they filmed the VCRs they had fought, so they were not on good terms when they had to film together. Then they kept talking about videos that hadn’t been shown yet that day, but they said the director said they had been shown. One had been shown, but they were also referencing one that came later.

Before their last non-encore song, they were trying to say their closing ment, but everyone just kept saying no~~ after they said anything because no one wanted it to end. Ravi sneezed again, and Leo made the sneeze sounds into his mic, but this time all the Starlights also made the sneezing sound too. Ravi said that the day before he started sneezing around the same time, so he must have an allergy to endings. Leo said he was glad that no one wanted the concert to end, and it put him in an even better mood. If people were thinking “when will it be over?” he would have felt bad, but seeing that everyone wanted them to just start the concert again, he felt great. But everyone just kept saying “no~~” to everything, so he turned to Ravi to ask what to do because his words weren’t getting through to us hahaha.

Ravi of course performed his new song Boiling Point. Honestly, Ravi’s solo music is mostly not my style, but there is no denying that boy can perform. Anything of his that I see live just gets me so hyped.

Leo did From Way Up There, a song from the premiere of Mata Hari that was taken out of this year’s version.

Leo did a slightly different version of 할말 with the most awesome choreography. I think he stole a couple moves from his Up In the Sky performance. (Was it this song where Leo’s shirt was loose and he definitely kept showing his tummy-and back-on purpose? Leo is secrectly fueled by the screams of young girls.)

(Ravi blessed us with his abs by unzipping his jacket after Bomb to perform 아 몰라 일단 Do The Dance.)

To be honest, I was worried about their ments because LR are really not the best with the whole chatting thing. It was…better than expected. Haha Leo of course was reading off the monitor most of the time and Ravi was a little nervous. But they had fun, we had fun, so it’s fine.

I really enjoyed this one time when Leo was by himself on stage and was chatting at us. He bent over some people in standing and asked if they’d eaten. He was also saying how it was the first time that he’d done ments on his own, and he was just so cute.

One time when they were talking, Ravi turned around to cough and Leo made coughing sound effects into the mic. Leo kept doing that a lot, copying Ravi (like a 5 year old).

Before they did their last song (before the encore), they were talking to us, and Ravi said they originally planned to just coolly say it was the last song and go right into it. However, their director talked them out of it, so instead they were just their chatting at us and being adorable. Everyone was shouting for Leo to talk about Siwol, so he told us that Siwol went to live with his sister now. Honestly, Leo is so busy he probably doesn’t have time for a dog, but still. Poor baby being abandoned by his lil’ baby. Then of course we had to ask about Ongdongie. He is of course doing well and was apparently at Ravi’s parents house that night. Everyone was shouting that he should bring Ongdongie, and Ravi joked that his parents could probably bring him within 10 minutes.

They started the encore in the seated area and went around to everyone while singing. They are so wonderful for trying to make sure everyone feels included in the concert~

Track list: Beautiful Liar Remember Error 사슬 (Chained Up) 아름다운 밤에 (On a Beautiful Night) 끓는 점 (Boiling Point) 저 높은 곳 (From Way Up There) Feeling 독 (Poison) - written by Leo with rap making by Ravi 어려운 일 - the song Leo wrote that was too sad to be the title song for Beautiful Liar 그뿐야 할 말 (Words to Say) Bomb 아 몰라 일단 Do The Dance Whisper Chocolatier Today

One of the best things about seeing plays/musicals multiple times is seeing the actors meld deeper into their parts and become more comfortable with the play, their role, and one another. Not even two weeks since opening night, you can already see this improvement. Also, when you have parts double or triple cast, like this one, you get an added layer of intrigue(?) Not only does each actor bring a new perspective to a character, but they affect the actors around them and how they play off each other. It probably seems obvious that the actor in a role changes how the role is played, but I feel like that is easy to forget when you only see one cast. (I think it’s great how everyone kept their own characterization as well because seeing others play the part could influence your interpretation of a scene or the entire character. That’s what separates the pros from the fish(??) I guess.)

This brings me to Ock Joohyun. I first saw her in Mata last year and fell in love. I liked her so much that I worried I wouldn’t like Sophie, but then she brought an entirely different charm to the character making choosing between them impossible. This year we have Cha Jiyeon with her own charm, but Joohyun stole my heart already. I have so much to say about her Mata, I don’t even know where to begin. It may be silly, but my jaw literally dropped a little when I saw how she handled her cigarette. Having been around theatre and having worked with fake cigarettes, I can tell you that it can be awkward to know how to hold and play with one *coughleocough* (I’ll grant that he already improved with that though). It wasn’t just the cigarette though, that’s just what got me paying attention. All of her stage business brought her character to life.

Not only was how she handled the props and filled her space, just her playfulness in general is so charming. As an audience member, I don’t know how you can leave the theatre without falling for her. (Not only with Mata either. Every role she plays, she brings her personal charm onto the stage with her.) Her playfulness is where Mata’s confidence seems to stem from, but it also creates this amazing chemistry with all the other actors around her who can’t help but react to her.

My last specifically Joohyun note is that her line interpretation is to die for. Part of it is she always enunciates very clearly, but it’s also clear that she knows — is — Margaret. She brings her character’s playfulness to her line delivery and also something of her Mata from last year. It’s as if she slipped back into the “body” of Mata, but put on another outfit. She managed to bring some of what made her a charming Mata Hari last year into her new Mata. (Her “I chased them away” when she first meets Armand was such a throwbackㅠㅠ)

Speaking of bringing in elements from last year, it’s fun to see the scenes that were mentioned in conversation brought to the stage. (Have I mentioned that?) But it almost feels like a little secret among those who knew the 2016 version. I wonder what it would be like to see only this one without having the comparison. Actually, an acquaintance mentioned it is a shame how Katherine (Ladoux’s wife) has practically disappeared. I agree and can’t help missing her song to persuade Ladoux to throw Mata under the bus, as it were. However, if I put myself in the shoes of someone who only saw the new version, would I even care that Katherine fades into the background?

I don’t know if it is a matter of chemistry with Joohyun and having acted with her last year, but I thought Narae as Anna did so much better than the first night I saw her?? Perhaps Mata being more playful brings the same out in Anna, but their banter made them feel more like a mother and daughter. Funnily enough, Mata sometimes felt like the mother in their relationship. When Mata makes Anna kiss her forehead after fighting, and when Mata protects Anna after being arrested, Mata seems more like the mother figure. In a way, that made their relationship even more relatable for me because sometimes I feel like the mother with my mom, haha. That kind of mother-daughter relationship can become fluid once the “daughter” is old enough.

I also like the contrast between Anna joking with Mata and her snap into a distant, non-feeling servant-character when Ladoux enters the dressing room. This really emphasized her dependence on Mata and her role in life as a background character. (Honestly, Anna is arguably the most tragic character in the play. She lived her life through someone else, whose life also was pretty darn tough, and then has to live on after the person she cared for most is killed. I literally teared up a bit just thinking of this. Anna’s life would make a great spin-off book like those fairy tales told from an unexpected character’s perspective.)

The way Armand (Leo) just throws out super depressing facts about himself and his past makes his character even more tragic. He’s already accepted his position in life (and death). He grew up used to being beaten, saw most of his pilot buddies die, figures he won’t see the end of the war, and as baby Armand would run out and watch the puppet show when his parents fought. Yet all of this he reveals as if saying he used to run on the track team. Experiencing all of that and still living each day makes me think that without all those outside factors, he may have turned out more like the sweet Armand of the 2016 version of the play.

Armand’s life view goes right along with the new version of the crash song (If You Fall). Last year I remember thinking that it was dumb of the men to be so excited and ready to go die, but this year with the tone of the play, placement of the scene, and Armand’s characterization it has a different feel. Armand has already seen his friends die around him for a year, so even though he knows his mission is suicide, he seems to have realized and accepted it’s his time to die as well. However, being a soldier he has to help his subordinates get over their fear and just do their duty because they have to follow orders anyway, so they may as well do it courageously.

This is all so out of order chronologically;; Jumping back to the hotel scene in Lyon (this is the name in English, yes?), I loved how Joohyun handled the marionette and talked about her past. When Armand says that the two of them are so different, she responds, saying they aren’t that different, by moving the marionette as if it were her then Armand moves like a puppet when he replies. As Mata— Margaret—tells the story of her past, she cradles the doll as if it were her Louisa (or is it Louise;;). This is one of those times that Mata feels paradoxically both childlike and motherly.

The hotel scene really highlights the chemistry between Ock Joohyun and Leo, but honestly all of their scenes together are a joy to watch because you can see how comfortable they are together. They seem completely at ease with each other, and their teasing is just super fun. It may be that Leo just got more comfortable in his role in general, but the way he hugged Mata in the hotel was much more like a person actually would hug another person without being an awkward kid about it. My last note about them is that the way they sing together is...what’s another way to say super fun? Leo definitely is one of those kids who likes harmonizing with others, so when the two of them sang together, there was that added element. (I’m 99% sure that’s not how he and Jiyeon sang together.) This vocal chemistry(?) was very apparent when they sang C’est Le Vie out on Mata’s rooftop.

Another thing about Joohyun’s Mata that I liked was how she showed her inner nervousness (and feelings in general) to the audience. In particular, during the German general’s party, we saw her nervousness about her mission and being a spy when a spy was announced to be at the party. The other time she did this (showing inner emotions) was when she got off the train in Berlin to go see Armand in the hospital. I nearly laughed at her slouching and lowering her voice so as to not seem like Mata Hari.

Skipping forward again, one thing I liked about Ladoux’s song lamenting his actions prior to the court scene (All That We Had To Do) last year was that because Ladoux was such a bad guy, the song really showed that he knew he had gone too far. It served to show he wasn’t all bad. However, in the new version we already know that, so the song is perhaps not as revealing.

As for the court scene itself, or rather Mata’s dance break during it, Joohyun’s space work made the meaning of dance to her obvious. (It may be cheating because I saw an explanation she gave about the scene, but her actions were so clear that I think it would have been apparent anyway.) It was as if Louisa had become dance for her as well as her source of inner strength. Watching Mata then (and later when she cradled the last bouquet of flowers Anna brought her) made me think of Margaret as a mother. Somehow, until seeing the play this time, I had never really given that much thought to Mata as a mother. Yes, she had a child, but it mostly felt like she had just buried that part of her deep inside. This time, her motherliness was a constant part of her, even having lost her child.

I don’t know if it was the actors or me, but it was as if my ears and eyes were open to the story and drinking it in. Because I was so focused, I thought I wouldn’t cry (as if the emotional part of me was blocked by my absorption of the story). My eyes teared up a little a couple times, but I was fine. However, when Mata cried at Armand’s death, emotion took back over and a few tears escaped. (Honestly, how can you not cry when Ock Joohyun does though?) And Mata’s “One Last Time” is so heartbreaking, especially the kiss she blows when she is finally shotㅠㅠㅠㅠ Actually, that’s one thing about the last version it was a same to see go. I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned this as well. Not having the circular aspect of the play, opening and closing with the firing squad scene.

I almost need to take notes during the musical...or at least intermission because I thought of so many things to say, but only remember a few things.

About this cast: I do like Cha Jiyeon as Mata, but I can’t wait to see Ock Joo Hyun again because I already know she and Leo have fabulous chemistry. Kim Joonhyun played Ladoux last year as well. He has great characterization, and personally I like his singing and line delivery better than Moon Jongwon, who I saw at the preview. However, and I had this problem last year, he is not super easy to understand particularly while singing. I remember my friend (who doesn’t know Korean) really liked him, but that was probably because he portrays emotion very well as he sings. I think this is where the problem with his enunciation comes from. It gets lost in sounding good/emotional. Kim Nayoon’s Anna...I can’t say I like it better because the two of the actresses are so different. I feel like she kept her character closer to what it was last year, and the silliness/childish feeling she brings to the character make her endearing to both Mata and the audience as well as make her heartbreak more poignant.

My friend and I were talking about how Armand and Mata fell in love last year versus this year before the show, so I was paying attention to what the attraction was. Last year, Armand’s youth and innocence were an obvious pull for Mata who had lost that part of her. This year, Armand is not so painfully innocent and cute, so it’s a bit more puzzling to see why they fall in love. What I noticed today was that the two of them have painful pasts they have managed to move on from and they both yearn for a simple life. It really kills me hearing Armand say he’s used to being beat up because that’s how he grew up. Also, when he mentioned his parents fighting when he was younger...he definitely has that slightly broken past charm going for him. His past matches right with Mata, whose father was abusive and then she got stuck with a drunkard abusive husband. No wonder she turned cynical. (Okay, not exactly cynical...but well...maybe haha;;)

I really like their little rooftop song about what they will do after the war (if they survive). Mata with her cafe and Armand with a little plane he’d buy. It’s really depressing when Armand casually mentions he doesn’t imagine he’ll live to see the end of the war. Those poor pilots really did have a high death rate, didn’t they?ㅠㅠ I feel like it’s really these similarities between the two that bring them together rather than the differences that brought them together in the last version. Personally, I like the idea of people being together because of similarities. Opposites attract sounds nice and all, but in reality, does it work that well?

I mentioned this last time, but the story has sort of pulled away from just the romance to highlight the horror of war. That seems to be a major theme this time. We saw glimpses of that last year, but it is inescapable this year. Along those lines, Ladoux seems like less of a bad guy and more of a result of war. by which I mean it is very obvious how he is driven by his responsibilities as a general. Granted, he has personal motives with Mata, but he’s less “bad”. The mellowing of these characters makes them more believable, but also feels like we’re maybe missing out on some characterization?

Ladoux’s wife, Katherine, is practically no longer an important character. Watching the play again, I almost wonder if her absence was an attempt to remove her being the excuse for Ladoux's bad actions? Seeing as Mata is such a strong female character, I wonder if the playwright was trying to not undo his work in that regard by having another female be the reason Mata is killed. Instead we have a new character who Ladoux is responsible to that we can somewhat blame. (Is he Katherine’s dad or just a higher officer? I missed that bit;;)

It is also interesting that the German general was pulled up into a larger role. In some ways I feel it was unnecessary. I think that a lot of the things that were unclear/implied last time are explicitly said or shown this time. That’s not bad per se, but I felt like the German general didn’t have to be quite so explain-y in his multiple phone calls, but maybe that’s just me.

The last thing I recall wanting to mention today was that I noticed Leo’s stance and walking. I remember being surprised last year when he sat as Armand the first time with his knees wide apart because our Leo sits with his legs crossed 99% of the time. I was very proud of him tonight seeing him stand and move in character. I know it’s to be expected, but Leo has such a distinct way he holds his body, I imagine it took some practice to move in character. (Granted, certain costume pieces like boots and poofy airman pants probably help feel the character and how he would move.)

Cast: 마타하리 - 차지연, 라두 대령 - 김준현, 안나 - 김나윤

I’m not really sure where to begin to talk about this version of the play. I’d like to go through it sort of scene by scene, but I’ve already forgotten a lot. Also, the order/contents is a bit different than last year, so I don’t know it well enough yet.

I think the major difference is that they basically pulled the story out of the Moulin Rouge onto the streets of Paris. The 2016 play was showy and fun and dance-y, but this one highlighted the destitution of real people in Paris. It brought the focus to the war and the sadness that comes with it.

Rather than opening on Mata Hari’s “performance” before the firing squad and then moving into a fun opening number in the Moulin Rouge, the opening number is the ensemble as citizens of Paris being frightened during an air raid.

Then we move to Mata’s dressing room where Ladoux comes in for the first time. There are two things I’d like to note here. One, Anna (Mata’s seamstress) seems much more subservient this time around. But the funny thing is it seemed like they were trying to show they had a closer relationship than last time, but I think the fun banter they had in 2016 made them feel closer than this version. Two, Ladoux merely implies that he knows Mata’s true identity and only subtly asks her to be a spy, so her panic song is more questioning how much he knows and worrying about the life she has built for herself. I don’t know why I liked this so much, but I was sitting there with my mouth literally hanging open during this scene, haha.

(Just a warning here that I probably won’t go over every scene this time!)

The Armand meets Mata scene this time was such an entirely different introduction to his character. Where we had Mata save him from the river in 2016, this time she was being harassed by drunk airmen while Armand is smoking near another building watching the scene unfold. Eventually he saves her from the men when they get too demanding/handsy. But our Armand is still not a “perfect” knight in shining armor because he basically just gets beat up by the 3 guys. However, Armand gets an invite back to Mata’s apartment (as an invalid) where they hang out and chat through the night. Then Mata invites him to the roof to see the sunrise (as a man!). I just loved this scene because in 2016 we didn’t get to see the times when their relationship grew like that? I feel like we saw the results of the time they spent together more than the actual time together.

Skipping along to when Mata goes to Germany, I found it interesting that Mata’s interactions with the general(?) were at a public party rather than her “seducing” him at his hotel. And when she left to go meet up with Armand in another town...it was so cute. It really showed that their growing bond goes beyond the physical. Actually, I think they only kissed once in the whole play. It seemed like they were trying to downplay physical love to show that their relationship was different than what Mata had with other men.

My friend who went with me didn’t enjoy Act 1 as much as I did because she felt it was a lot more telling than showing (and she doesn’t know Korean). For me, however, I really loved it because there was so much conversation? I did love the showy, performance feel in the 2016 version, but this time around everything felt more subtle, and I love subtleties. I suppose they make me feel special when I get them, haha.

So, the writer decided to make me cry in Act 1 by changing things up a bit again. When Ladoux finds out about Armand and Mata spending the night in a hotel together, he dismisses Armand from his spying on Mata duty and orders him to go take pictures of the German air base (a suicide mission). Armand then writes a super sad letter to Mata that basically is saying goodbye, but if by some slim chance we ever meet again, I’ll never say goodbye again. Cue the waterworks. Actually, none of the tears spilled over at that point, they just made it hard to see.

Then we had a sadder rendition of “If You Fall”, Armand’s pep talk to the other airmen basically. It felt less glorious this time and more like, hey we got to do this so just fake it ‘til you make it. Haha, maybe that’s a bad description. Then he leaves and Mata gets to the hanger too late to see him one last time and sings her sad little song before intermission.

When I went into the lobby for intermission, I passed by the composer and told him I liked the music. He was very nice about it, but I get the feeling he isn’t the chatty type? Or that was me projecting as usual, haha.

Act 2 opened with Mata going to the hanger to get news about Armand, and she and the female ensemble sang a depressing song about waiting for their loved ones. I cried again during this song, haha. Eventually Pierre (who was scared to go fly until Armand gave him a pep talk) comes back but says Armand’s plane was shot down. Then we see Armand singing about wanting to get back to Mata before he is captured and sent to a German hospital.

Mata goes to Ladoux’s home and asks for news on Armand. Ladoux basically tries to seduce her and says she can’t go see Armand in Berlin. She of course ends up going anyway. (Oops this is getting summary-ish;;)

The hospital scene this time is more tragic because you see the nuns treating other wounded soldiers as well. Then Armand accidentally reveals that he knows who Ladoux is and tells Mata that everything from the beginning was planned, so they fight. Mata leaves and she, Ladoux, and Armand sing the “What Am I to Do?” song. Cue the tears again. They moved Armand’s reminiscing about the past up from the courtroom to him when he is in the hospital being all sad, and he runs away from the hospital when the nun leaves him alone outside.

Anna’s song about how she lived her life through Mata seriously got me as usual (it’s what made me cry the first time back in 2016). Then when Mata is arrested and goes to court...wow. It’s such a different play without the Emcee character narrating and without the “show” feel. It’s more real and relatable, I guess. Anyway, there is a moment when Mata goes into her mind and dances. I felt like it was a scene that showed how she hides behind/depends on the strength of her Mata mask. It did feel sort of weird and out of place to suddenly have that break though. Then all of a sudden, our Armand shows up and tries to save the day, but gets in a tussle with Ladoux and accidentally gets shot (he had the gun, but was struggling with Ladoux when the trigger gets pulled). Having Armand actually die on stage in Mata’s arms made everything 8 million times more sad. Seriously getting dehydrated from crying at this point.

Mata’s firing squad preparation was heart-wrenching again. Her and Anna’s interaction really gets to me. Plus she was wearing red throughout the whole play but was wearing black to mourn Armand’s death. It was the same dress that she wore last year but was black instead of redㅠㅠ (Personally I like the red one, but I get the symbolism.) Of course her final song had me shaking with tears again. Man I cried so much this play.

Anywho, I do have some more thoughts probably, but I’ll leave it at this for now, haha.

Right before it was time to go up, I heard the Chinese girl next to me sigh again, so I turned to her and said “Nervous?” She said she was. Then I asked in Korean if she knew Korean, and she does. We chatted for a bit, and she told me she likes Hyuk. I told her I had nothing to say to Hyuk haha. She said she had nothing to say to Hongbin. Yeaahh, I get that;; Like. I tried to think of things to say, but nothing came to mind? I’m much better with letters I think. Plus they are cute boys, not even considering the fact that they are VIXX. You know? Just me? Anyway…

We gathered our albums and letters and numbers (mine was 97 if you recall) and went to the line to go speak to VIXX. I wasn’t too nervous anymore, but I mostly didn’t have much to say (except Leo to whom I had at least 3 things I wanted to say). The girl right in front of my new Chinese friend was the one that sometimes goes to fansigns and dances/sings for the members. I love that Ravi can’t even watch her when she does her littke performances. Well, thanks to her the line was moving slowly, so I pretty much had plenty of time (too much;;) to talk to them. (I know, how could it be too much? But I’m not great with rambling on about this and that in those situationsㅜㅜ)

Ravi is really a sweetheart. And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. He is so much more gorgeous in person! No matter how pretty the pictures, they don’t do him justice. (All the members are better looking in person, but I’ll never get over the amazement(?) I felt when I first saw Ravi up close.) So I went up to Ravi and gave him my letters. (I had 2 because one was art that I wrote on the back of and the other was my regular letter hahaha) I embroidered words on paper hearts for each member, and I embroidered “엉덩이 아빠”(Ongdongie’s dad) on Ravi’s hearts. (I stuck these hearts on the outside of the envelopes.) He read it out loud and laughed at it, so that was a great moment. I told him I’m going to busan and he said 수고많았어요(You’ve worked hard…sort of;;). I said Nooo, not reallyㅜㅜ Then I asked if there was anywhere worth going in Busan, and he gave me the most apologetic face and told me he didn’t really know. I never want to see Ravi’s apologetic face againㅜㅜ I don’t want to make him feel sorry for any reason. It almost hurt because he had no reason to be sorry, I was just saying words at that pointㅜㅜ Ravi should always only be happy. (Granted, Ravi makes great expressions during fansigns. I think he exaggerates his emotions so he doesn’t seem so worn outㅜㅜ) I had soooooo much time, so I also told him that he read my letter at the last Seoul concert. He said, “Oh the paper airplanes?” and did a little paper airplane throwing motionㅜㅜ I said yes, and that I was sorry that I called him 라바(Raba) in the letter. He said it was okay and held my hand while looking at me like…I don’t know? The face he makes that seems like he’s saying “It’s okay, I’m just grateful for your support”…or something. Anyway, it was a beautiful expression that made me very happy. (I just realized we’re idiots that were apologizing to each other for no reasonㅜㅜ)

(I always feel awkward with Ravi, but at fansigns I feel less awkward with him than I expect? I think the problem, if you want to call it that, is he has this image of being silly and playing around with the other boys? But he also can be very sincere? I am sort of the same way, and I feel like we both sway into sincere mode with each other. It would probably be less awkward if we could both be in fun mode, but alas, ‘tis not to be.)

Jaehwan…ah Jaehwan is such a cutie. That’s his job I guess, but still. I didn’t really have anything to say to him, but I had an idea of something to do. I asked him if he’d eaten, and he said yes. So I asked what he ate. He said 도시락(lunch box). I told him to eat “this” for dessert and proceeded to make 2 finger hearts and turn them into a hand heart, then offered my hands to him. He sort of laughed at me but took the “hearts” out of my hands and “ate” them. (In retrospect…no even at the time, I felt so dumb for doing that;;)

I had prepared something to say to N because he is great and perfect and deserves all the love in the world. I said 오빠, 저 궁금한 게 있는데요 (I have something I am curious about/want to ask). He looked up at me, and I said 못 하는 게 있어요? (Is there anything you can’t do?) I was trying not to smile, and he was doing the same. He promptly said 운동, sports. So I said noo~ Then he was like “Really? Okay ㅋㅋㅋ” I told him I am going to Busan and asked for a recommendation of where to go, and he recommended two places. The first I don’t recall, but the second was Haeundae Beach. (Because of him I packed my swimsuit and may even wear it for the first time in 3 years //ㅅ//)

Next was Hyuk and just… I don’t know why I feel so awkward with him? I think it might be the Ravi Syndrome again where he is more serious in person than with the members. Also he is a tiny baby but also a MAN?? So how do I deal with that??? I had super extra time, so I told him that I’ve been listening to 안아줄게 a lot and am looking forward to seeing it again at the Busan concert. He asked if I was going to Busan alone but then repeated the question in English. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand him, but I probably didn’t hear him. Ah… it may have been because I said, “Yes, I’m going tomorrow,” and he thought I was answering wrong. But…the ‘yes’ was directed at his question;; Sorry Hyogiㅜ

Bean…I love Hongbin, but there is also a level of awkwardness there. (I’m going to go out on a limb here and just say that perhaps I am the problem and am just an obnoxiously awkward person who projects that onto others;;) Anyway, I gave him my letter that had 친구야(friend~) embroidered on the hearts (on the envelope if you recall). He looked at it and said, “Oh, are we friends?” So I answered 네 (formal yes) again (like during the Fantasy fansign I went to), and I want to smack myself. The whole point of us being friends is to speak informallyㅜㅜ (Yes, I realize that’s technically not how that works, but 99% of the time I end up speaking formally anyway, as proven by my habitual 네) I said I was sorry that my letter was sort of long (it was 2 pages…which I can write to Leo easily, but not really the other members). He said it was fine and seemed sort of pleased actually? He even did a hand hold with me this time! Haha (I think all the other members did too, but I was paying attention to Hongbin because I remember specifically that he didn’t grab my hand at the Ilsan fansign.)

(A note on the letters that I should probably save for the end: I am pretty proud of myself for writing them all a good sized page of words. Not that they were great letters, but I did it. And as I mentioned, my letter to Bean was two pages, but that is because I was explaining how I became a VIXX fan in response to him asking me about it at the Ilsan fansign. Leo’s I of course wrote last because I can always ramble at him more. Poor guy;;)

Leo…I don’t even know. It was such a scramble of this and that. I gave him the same drawing that I gave Ravi. (It was a drawing of LR that I commissioned from the ever-talented and lovely @mireykim whose drawing is pictured above. You can commision her here! ) I told him I didn’t draw it and asked if he knew the artist. He said he didn’t…but maybe it’s just because he didn’t recognize that picture? Who knows. Then I asked him if he knew who a certain letter was sent to, and he said no. (The letter in question has a complicated backstory;;) I told him it was me, and he said, “Really? Thank you!” and grabbed my hand and like…wouldn’t let go? It was really precious and he was looking at me with such grateful eyes and I’m ready to die nowㅜㅜ I then told him that I’m the person that calls him 핑쿠핑쿠 왕자(pinku pinku prince) in letters. He sort of nodded, and I don’t know if it was in understanding and being like, yes I know that person, and it’s you! Or was the nod ah, yes… please let’s not speak of this again. Or perhaps the nod was just to placate me. We’ll have to add it to the drawer of “too many things that will have to remain unsolved about  Jung Taekwoon.” He also asked me where I was from again, haha;; Also, he commented (in English) that I am very tall. I was trying to tell him how tall, but I don’t think he heard, and we were talking about the next thing already. Later, I of course realized I should have sarcastically acted surprised that I’m tall. (If you are tall, you will understand what I mean. What are you supposed to say when people comment on your height? I do realize that I am tall, you know?) Also, why did Leo keep using English with me? Is my Korean worse than I think? Was he just being considerate/showing off? Not that I mind because I love his English. As long as he knows that I know Korean, then we’re fine. (I just remembered that at the end he said, "See you later (my name)!"ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ)

(It was frustrating when I was thinking later that night about all the things I could have/should have said to all of them in those awkward moments when the members and I stared at each other in silent panic not knowing what to say….I was probably the only one panicking, but…yeahㅜㅜ)

Let’s see if I remember the missions they had to do… One was Ravi had to do the 탕수육 game with a Starlight with the “word” 빅스타라잇 (VIXXStarlight) and the loser had to grant the wish of the other. (The 탕수육 game is the one where each person says one character/syllable in the word and the other person says the next part until someone messes up.) It was sort of a mess, but Ravi ended up winning. He said that his wish was to grant the wish of the Starlight, so she asked for a hug. When he hugged her Ken said it was too short, and the Starlights agreed, so he hugged her again for a tiny bit longer.

They played a concentration type game that I didn’t quite understand, but Leo lost and was supposed to come into the audience for a minute to have eye contact with us. Him being Jung Leo, however, he was going around really quickly and trolling people with their cameras and was looking at which memeber people’s video camera tripods were pointed at. He also said to not take pictures at one point because, once again, Jung Leo.

They did a game where they had to draw a square and triangle at the same time with both hands. Ravi emceed because (according to him) there was no way he’d be able to do it. Silly little Bean and Leo at the end weren’t very good, but Hyuk was surprisingly good, as was N. Ken…tried and wasn’t bad per se. In the end, N was chosen for first place, so he got to choose the two members who would have to do a pose to…show how close they are I guess? Show their chemistry? He chose Ravi and Hyuk, and when the Starlights had no suggestions for what pose they should do, he decided they should do the thing where they put their foreheads and hands together and then look out at the audience. It was great.

During question time, people kept passing on their questions, and I totally get it because what do you ask that is interesting and hasn’t already been asked before? One person asked if they had thought about their next concept. They were hilariously hedging about and ended up saying that it was a yes or no question and the answer was no. Of course they can’t tell us if they do have a next concept, but it was quite amusing nonetheless. Another person wanted to pass their question and N asked if they could word it as “Can I pass?” so that it could be a question.

At some point, Hongbin and Leo were completely ignoring the current mission/instructions and made paper airplanes and both threw them to see whose plane would fly furtherㅜㅜ

Also Leo kept yawning during the whole fansign. (Actually, they all looked pretty sleepy. It seemed like before each new person went up to get a signature, Ravi would reset his face into pleasant sort of smile so that he didn’t look super tired. Poor babiesㅠ)