Rowan - He/Him - Grown up fool
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@shiisiln
Rowan - He/Him - Grown up fool
Weird and adorable plushies at my etsy shop!
My webcomic, The Paulverse
Weird zines

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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yknow I'm feeling a bit brave so I will venture to say what this blighted essay's pitch actually is: reading project hail mary (novel and film) as a ravishment fantasy. in both main threads of the narrative grace is brought wildly out of his element and pulled into the orbit of a mysterious foreign stranger who is significantly stronger / richer / more powerful than him, forced to accept unsolicited lavish gifts and personal praise despite protests and discomfort, and made to live in isolated locations in extremely close proximity to these people with no say in the matter, all of which are common motifs in ravishment fantasies. on her own, stratt also brings in other common motifs of restraints, drugging, being above the law, multiple kidnappings (I'm doing crazy things with the classical definition of "rape" as in "abduction" and its shared etymology with "rapture" as in "being taken to the heavens"), and the very specific yet still common motif of "otherwise trustworthy partner goes too far and doesn't take 'no' for an answer." rocky on his own brings in the overprotective flavor common to a lot of dark romance novel heroes, i.e. "I make sure you sleep and I like to watch you while you do it, I make sure you eat enough even if you've got baggage about it, I make inhuman displays of strength when you're injured, and as long as I'm around I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you ever again."
the issue I was running into with researching this a few weeks ago is that almost all of the scholarly writing on the content of people's forced-sex fantasies focuses solely on women's fantasies and starts with the research question of "why would women enjoy imagining such a horrible misogynistic thing?" despite surveys often showing that men have force-fantasies (where they are the one being forced) at very comparable rates to women. my hypothesis for a bit was "either men's fantasies are exactly the same as women's or they're completely different in [x] way," which was disproven interestingly when I did finally find something about men's force-fantasies: in content they are almost exactly the same as women's fantasies but the emotional motivations are often different in [y] way, which I hadn't expected. and [y] also super applies to my buddy ryland, perhaps even more than my original [x] hypothesis.
my hopes for writing this are twofold: a) to address the question I sometimes see phm audience members come away with of "if grace likes his life by the end and doesn't seem that mad about all of that, is the message supposed to be 'violation of bodily autonomy is good, actually?'", and b) to lightly resist one of the prevailing notions in the study of forced-sex fantasies, that ravishment fantasies are solely abstracted and fantastical and pleasurable and are completely 100% separate from fearful paranoid imaginings of / flashbacks to realistic sexual violence.
#i am seated at the table i am SEATED at the table#phm#i was not in fact kidding when i said phm was a STEM bodice ripper
TLT as tumblr text posts (pt. 2)
my mutuals hate mail game is insane
Hey kids! Don't smoke. Just don't do it. It affects your body in the worst ways possible, even if you never get cancer.
Hey kids who smoke! You are still fucking worthy of love, dignity and respect and anyone who mistreats you because of your addiction alone is a fucking cop.
There is hope for you, and hope beyond coping with smoke. Specifically, the younger you are, the safer you are to quit. Specifically, even if you cannot quit, you are not wrong. You are not evil or gross.
Smoking is a vice. Vices can be managed, cut back and replaced.
If anyone tells you go cold turkey on most drugs in a high stress period of your life if they are not causing insane self harm or harm to others, they are like a puritan and a cop who is going to inadvertently hospitalize you or give you a stress attack. Quitting cigarettes cold turkey while braving exterior stress can make your health worse should you relapse.
Consider counting cigarette intake down before quitting entirely. So you don't have intense panic attacks.
You often need to be stable to quit. It is okay when you aren't.
Dear young smokers, please fucking survive.
Listen to me. There is love and safety possible for you. There is still time.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”
There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”
There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.
okay look i know this isn't relevant to this post past the second paragraph but. here's the thing. the facts of the case are as follows:
1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019
2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later
3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass
4) this happens. all the time
more importantly:
5) my current partner is on tumblr
6) they love to incessantly send me posts
WHICH MEANS:
7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:
8) they really, really are ganging up on me with her. god help us if there's an afterlife and those two ever actually meet. "eternal rest" my ass, i will never know peace again
A few months ago my mom got our dog a really nice like $60 dog bed that Ellie just absolutely refuses to sleep in because she’d rather be in bed with my mom or on the couch. So my mom gave Josh and I the bed to see if Vincent would like it and it’s an immediate hit, he jumped in as soon as I put it down and won’t move
I’ve never seen this cat knead before and now he can’t stop!
seeby
Do Speak Up
continuing with the awkward linking but I would still prefer to queue ahead of time >=T
I’m such a “yay <3” person like unironically a hip hip hooray type of personality

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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do you ever think about how sometimes it just... takes one random message? and suddenly you find yourself with a best friend or in constant conversation with someone who lives on the other side of the world but is just as much of a freak as you are or maybe you find yourself in love with someone without a last name but with so much kindness and affection in their words and presence. crazy how life and love and friendship just happen
I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem
The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys
Fuck AI, look at my handsomest boy instead, he helps me in the garden by digging holes next to where I am digging. He is not helping at all, but I appreciate his spirit, we are bonding.
i dont care what you’re doing take 1 minute out of your day to watch this you wont regret it YOU NEED SOUND
Sweet precious babies!
collection
when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"
me: I will raise him no differently than the two 80-lb labs I had growing up. absolutely no hoity-toity frou frou little yapyap dog stuff. he's gonna be a good ol' fashioned, rough-and-tumble, capital D-O-G—
—never mind. the boy yearns to be ensweatered
to celebrate the popularity of this post, I ordered him another set of the linen jammies in yellow. now he looks like paddington bear
the etsy seller threw in a little miniature hermes silk scarf as a freebie and I dare you to tell me he doesn't know how handsome he looks in it. whenever we take it off of him he broods like he's a wealthy victorian orphan child in desperate need of a seaside holiday to restore his delicate aristocratic constitution
went out for pints with the lads last night.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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WET BEAST WEDNESDAY
one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday
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