clover

hi yes me again. this time with an actual chart I'm officially opening commissions! If you're interested, you can contact me through my inbox so we can coordinate what you want! you can also buy me some coffees through the link bellow and request your commission there (the commission will be posted publicly if so is the case, unless you contact me through DMs)

For the longest time, all I had to say about Kazui was that I didn't care for him and just didn't like him because he hurt a beautiful woman. Usually, yes, I don't extend a lot of sympathy to male characters that hurt women (ironic, considering who my favorite is, hence "usually", not always). And because of some fandom experiences I just really didn't want to care about the character.

I just also didn't expect them to be so forefront about his sexuality.

I'm openly a lesbian, here, and in my socials. But I'm not in real life. And while comparing my situation would be insulting since I do have a more supporting/less hostile environment, I still grew up with stigma and have experienced family members being openly homophobic to my face. There are still expectations placed on me even if not imposed, and a silver lining that in the future I will find a man to have a family with like my parents always wanted for me. I don't usually get this personal here, but I feel the need to. Because it was Kazui's character, and the way Yamanaka went over writing him this trial, that's made me face all these facts that I've purposely ignored for years.

And for a franchise as flawed and as disappointing as Milgram can be at times, I can only praise it for how the queer experience was portrayed here. It means a lot to me, as a queer person that still has to hide behind lies, that Kazui's character was handled the way that it was. It was raw, it was horrifying, it was too real. And as much pain as it has brought me, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't have an analysis to post like I usually do with other characters, specially Fuuta (who I do find more relatable than Kazui, funnily enough). But I had a need to talk about him anyway, even if it gets personal. I needed to just be sincere for once, somewhere.

Hi. I will be opening slots of the art style bellow for anyone that donates any amount of money to my friend, who is currently stuck in an abusive household in a foreign country with limited income and being threatened from renewing their visa. They have only a month to gather enough money to at least afford a visa (200-400 dollars) and be able to move out of their mother's home.

My friend's ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/uimimeaning

Important note: I will not be able to start these until next week

I am not home, so I don't have access to my computer until next monday. But once I do these will be swiftly worked on right away and delivered within the week.

I can however start sketching on paper this week. But know the digitalized colored finished piece wouldnt be done until the next one

If you can't donate, spreading this helps just as much.

I know jackalope hates to see me coming

For Amane's Magic is just entirely symbolic and Haruka's reality is a blur so we only see him in his pajamas, and Mikoto could entirely be blamed in memory issues. The rest? Consistent. Repeat. Explainable.

But for Futa, only Backdraft can get away with it. Theres never overlap with real life let alone reality scenes, there is no back and forth with real memories, it's fine. But the other two MVs? And, like, it could be Just Because but the jacket from Appare is in his closet in Jihen Joutou so which means they either looked back on that to give him a random outfit change or this was somehow planned, but like, why? And why only him?

This is literally useless but its like... such a weird thing to be inconsistent about, and if it is intentional I struggle to see any meaning on it at all. And because if I say the Appare scenes are also not real I'll get burnt at the stake for coping to hard to defend this guy. I promise you I couldn't care less, but like, isn't it just a little weird?

The only other explanation is... well, still, Appare isn't real— But more so because his mental state is not as stable as it was in T1 (and he got beat in the head. How has this not been brought up more than once by an off joke from Mu is beyond me, but that's milgram to you) so even if more aware of what he did wrong, the actual memories of the moments are a bit foggy. He knows he owns these clothes, and his memory swapping the outfit he had on throughout that period can really be just... that, his memory failing on less important details. Again, I just find weird cause it isn't framed that way like Mikoto's amnesia is.