SCIENCE, BIATCH

They were both SHIELD agents, as well as people Daisy Johnson considered family. Moreover, Kora liked Fitz. He was someone she would like to call her friend, if not already. “You aren’t horrible though.” He was right, he wasn’t the best. “There’s always room for learning in everything someone does.” She assured optimistically. 

***

Nothing made him happier than knowing that Daisy had a member of her family with her now. They had all been found family truly, but she deserved to know more about her past, where she came from. Plus, Kora was great. He’d seen the homicidal aspects of his friend’s family. He was glad he’d seen nothing like that from someone he now considered an acquaintance, if not a friend. “My feelings won’t be hurt. Jemma already tells me that i’m shite.” he looks down at their feet, hoping that maybe it will allow for him not to step on her again. “You’re too nice, Kora.” 

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As much as she wishes it weren’t the case, she knows how Fitz feels right now. She experienced the same thing after what happened with Hive. It was a little different from what Fitz did because she was under Hive’s control and didn’t really have her own free will while Fitz basically had a mental break, but the feelings those things left behind were the same. There was an overwhelming sense of guilt and confusion and distrust towards yourself. For Daisy, there was a long time where she wasn’t sure if she was still under Hive’s control. She worried that she might hurt the people she cared about most all over again. It’s easy to see why Fitz would worry about the same thing. 

She sighs, moving closer to him. With what happened, she should be afraid to get too close to him, but the need to comfort her friends when they’re emotional like this is stronger than any fears she might have. She wants to hug him, but she knows that sometimes being wrapped up in someone’s arms can make people feel trapped and even more panicked. Instead, she opts to place a hand on his back, rubbing it in small circles. “I don’t know,” she tells him honestly. There isn’t any sort of guide for how to deal with situations like this. “But I do know that when I got my powers, you were the first person to support my change and make me feel like I wasn’t turning into some kind of monster. You helped me figure that out, so we can figure this out too. Because I can’t believe that same kid is the same one who did what that other Fitz did. He went through different things than you, so maybe those things are the only reason it happened. You haven’t shown any signs of being like him since we got you back, so maybe it won’t happen. I don’t know everything you’re capable of, but I know you. I know it’s not something you’d want to do and you’d do anything to prevent that from happening.”

***

Daisy was the closest thing that Fitz had to a sibling. Other than Jemma, he felt that she knew him the best. They had been through multiple world changing events together. They had seen each other grow, evolve. He thought that, maybe in some ways, she knew him better than even his wife did. Which is why it makes it so hard to wrap his head around the fact that he would ever do anything to hurt her, no matter what the cost would have been if he didn’t. The only plausible answer for all of this is that he’s a monster. He could hurt her again. What about Jemma? What about Alya? Deke? How long would it be before they did something and he snapped? 

In ways, this was worse than what had happened in The Framework. At least then, he remembered the monstrous things he had done, the terrible human being that he had become. He remembered the lives he took, the people he hurt, the weapons he helped create. But this...... He couldn’t. Realistically, he knew he couldn’t remember because it wasn’t him that had done it. It was another Fitz, one that had lived through different things for his friends. How much more would he have to be told? “Daisy....” he flinched when he felt her hand on his shoulder, his throat tight as he struggled not to let the panic overwhelm him. “Stay away from me.” he clenched his hand, trying to stop the shaking that still occurred when he was stressed or scared, worried or frightened. “I can’t....... Alya. What if..... What if I do something to hurt her.... My daughter?” 

@shieldengineering​

Sigyn’s mind had been extremely preoccupied all day, and no matter how many items she bumped into, her mind would just go right back to planning. That was until this moment when the man’s words registered in her mind she stops dead in her tracks and quickly turns. “I am so sorry, all I can say is my mind hasn’t been present in the current moment all day. I do understand, I had several sisters who were younger than me growing up. I am happy to assist if you’d like, after all it is my blunder that caused her to stir.” 

***

A grateful smile takes over his features then. He’s clearly exhausted. Over the years his wardrobe and general appearance had become something he’d given at least a little more time towards. But now he’s wearing an old t shirt and cardigan. His curls are brushed but not styled at all. “That would be brilliant, if you have nothing else to do. Can I buy you a tea or coffee?” 

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“Keeping from you?” she asks, her words finally starting to have some more emotion and bite in them now that she feels like she’s under attack. Still, her voice is low, yelling in whispers because she’s still acutely aware that Jemma and Alya are in the other room, and she doesn’t want to disturb them or risk waking up Alya. “Do you think this is easy for me to bring up to you? Between then and now, I barely even saw you with everything that was going on! I barely even had time to process what happened to me because there was always something else to deal with, and a lot of those things were because of you, by the way. So sorry not sorry for saving your ass, but don’t get mad a me.” She knew, deep down, that he wasn’t actually angry with her. He was angry at the situation and freaking out at thinking that any of this was possible, but she wouldn’t stand for it being directed at her. “Yeah, it is terrible,” she agreed, her voice not able to come down from a hostile tone. “But it’s also confusing. Because I don’t know if that was just because of what that Fitz went through for him to do something like that or if I need to be worried about you doing the same thing too.” She was practically choking on her words, her eyes starting to water because of her emotions. She didn’t want to feel these ways. She didn’t want to look at Fitz and wonder if he might snap again and strap her to a table to operate her. Who knew if she’d even survive the next time. “You’re my friend, Fitz! You’re my family! I can’t stand what happened, but I also can’t give up on you.” She pursed her lips, shaking her head at herself as her tone calmed down. 

***

Fitz knows his words sound more accusatory than he means them to be. But if he’s to be blamed for things that he didn’t do, he feels that he should have some idea on what he was doing at the very least. He can’t look at her, not now. He feels like he’s world is spinning, off it’s axis. He got like that, when there were things he didn’t know about himself that were slipped to him. Like when he had married Jemma. He had no recollection of his bloody wedding. And now he’s being told that he hurt one of his best friend’s in the universe. He can’t conceive a world where he’d do anything like that, except maybe the Framework, where he had done worse. If he could do something like that to daisy, who he’d known for years and years, what else was he capable of? Would he hurt someone else? Could he hurt his family? He drops his head down, trying to breath, give himself a moment to think logically. But logic is failing him. “I can’t......” he whispers the words, not for fear of waking up his daughter but because he physically can’t get his voice any higher in those moments, trying not to let the panic settle like he feels it is. “You’re my family too. And I did that to you. What else am I capable of?! I can’t..... I can’t be here. What if I hurt one of you again?!” 

“Oh shit, sorry. I was looking the other way.” She admits as she stops dead in her tracks. Glancing down at the child in the stroller before looking up to the man. “She is beautiful and” Helena pauses for a moment as she glances away “… its been a long while since I helped get one to sleep but I do remember the struggle.” A light laugh escaped her as she remembered a glimpse of trying to put her little brother to bed. “Although its funny when they hit the age that they start negotiating. Have you tried warm milk and soft humming?”

@shieldengineering​

“Oh, thank you.” Fitz smiled gratefully at the woman, thankful that there was someone that understood what he was going through, at least in this moment. He loved his friends, but they didn’t always understand how tiring it was with a child. Especially one as inquisitive and active as Alya. “I haven’t tried the milk.” he said thoughtfully, eyebrows knit together as he looked back at his daughter, “She’s just missing someone close to her.” he looked back up at the woman, “Would you like to sit?” 

Bobbi hadn’t noticed the Brit at first glance, but his voice was firmly recorded in her memories. She haven’t heard much of him lately, even when she was back in doing a few missions for SHIELD. “Alya? Hi! I’m Bobbi”, the blonde said waving to the youngster. The initial shock of bumping into someone she did knew in the big NYC began to fade when she saw to the eyes of the little one. There was something about kids that made Bobbi feel calm.

“That long as it been since last time we saw each other?”. She felt the need of hugging him, but then again felt maybe they had lost that connection ove the many years they had lost contact, so she instead only placed a hand softly in his shoulder. After she momentarily left SHIELD, she did a thing or two with an Avenger or two, or all in her own. By the time she knocked in the door of SHIELD again she was sent in with a brand new team, and she hadn’t asked much of her former teammates.

*** Sometimes Fitz was extremely grateful that his daughter was as flexible as she was. There was just a wide smile on her face when Bobbi introduced herself, a happy wave, before introducing herself “I’m Alya Fitz-Simmons.” in a clear voice that made him so proud. Even as she swiped another fry from her plate, ignoring the broccoli that he hated but tried to make her eat so Jemma wouldn’t be cross with him, he adored her and these moments they had together. 

“Well, a lot has changed since we last saw each other.” It had been hard on him, when Bobbi had left the team. They had been friends, at least he had considered her one. But she was right. It had been years. They’d been to outer space, the future, the past, and back again. “Do you wanna sit down?” he motioned to the seat next to him on the counter, “Uh.... Catch up?” 

“Fitz.” Jemma sighed softly. “Everyone is looking for Daisy. And I’m sure no one would fault you if you needed to take a break. Which you do.” Her gaze shifted over to Alya for a moment. “At least let me take over.” 

***

Fitz’s hand reached out across the table to encase hers in both of his, eyes meeting hers. He was tired and he knew that since he had finally gotten her asleep, they should go home and he should too. But he couldn’t sleep, not with one of their best friends missing. “Just stay here for a bit?” it’s a selfish request. He knows she was in on the meeting with people that were going to do their very best to help Daisy. But he feels he hasn’t seen her in so long. “I uh.... We work better together.” 

It was from Daisy’s long list of photros that Kora recgonized him. Sure she’d actually met him herself very briefly, but she hadn’t much reason to remember his face. She’d been consumed in so much. Though, his name was something etched into her mind as the person Nathaniel was desperate to find. Nowadays, she heard his name and thought of Daisy’s tales of him, Jemma, Coulson, May, Monkeys, and so much more. “Actually I don’t…” There weren’t many babies in Afterlife, at least none that she’d been allowed near. Not that Kora could blame them, back then she’d been practially a bomb. “You’re Fitz, aren’t you?” She was 90 percent sure she was correct, though he did look a bit scruffier than Daisy’s pictures had shown him to be. 

***

“Kora.” There’s recognition in his tone as he looks at her, his face red. He’s embarrassed that it was so easy to snap at someone who he thought was a random stranger. But he’s running on fumes now. “Uh..... Yeah, that’s me.” He wonders how much Daisy has said about him, the things he’s done when he wasn’t him. “ Do uh..... You can sit, if you like.” he gestured for the empty seat across from her, “How are you?” 

Jemma sat down and studied him for a bit. “We’ll find Daisy soon.There are a lot of people that are helping to look for her.” She did feel bad that he was with Alya most of the time. “You need to rest. Why don’t we go home and I can take over. ”

***

Fitz frowned, looking at her over the computer screen. He knew that she was as worried as he was about their friend but he didn’t want to stop. This was the time to keep going. Soon, hopefully her kidnappers would get complacent and make a mistake, something they could capitalize on. “I’m fine. Not tired.” he brushed her off, looking back at the screen, focusing on the facial recognition software and the code in front of him. “I’m going through her known enemies, filtering out those that were unm... Very clearly not there. Prison, dead, other side of the bloody planet. Things like that.” 

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Daisy nodded. She understood really. She didn’t feel like she hid much about herself. Maybe a little, but most of it was just things that hadn’t come up yet. Some things didn’t need to be talked about unless there was a reason for it. Even what she was talking about now, the only reason she even thought to bring it up was because she was alone in Fitz’s presence, and her last experience with that had been traumatizing. Part of her thought it was a relief that he was so distraught about even the thought of doing something like that to her. It was a vast contrast to how the other him had reacted to the fact that he’d done something like that. She didn’t know if she was supposed to comfort him now. It was complicated, having been hurt herself but still feeling the urge to make him feel better about it. “It was back when there was that rift beneath the Lighthouse,” she explained, saying it like it was just some mission report she was reading off. It was easier to distance herself from it, act like it happened to someone else and not her, not them. “He said that we had to seal that rift shut, no matter what,” and apparently no matter who got in the way. “He needed my powers to stabilize the Gravitonium, but I had an implant in blocking my powers because of the Kree. I wanted it to stay there because everyone in the future told me that my powers would lead to the destruction of the planet. I wouldn’t have agreed to have the implant that blocked my powers removed, so … he didn’t give me a choice.”

***

Fitz could hear the emotionless tone she had and now it all made sense. The tension between them that had not changed since they got back to their own time, the way she didn’t seem comfortable around him without Jemma anymore. He had tried to push it off, blaming it on everything they had been through. They all deserved a break. But no.... He had hurt her, taken away her consent and done something awful. Something that he never would have done. God, it sounded like..... The Doctor. Had his personality from The Framework meshed with him so thoroughly? Was he this terrible person that his counterpart had been hurt the people he cared about most in the world? His hand gripped the bottle tightly before he puts in down. It makes a loud sound when he slams it and he’s thankful, later on, that it doesn’t break. He doesn’t need to give her another reason to be afraid of her. “What else are you all keeping from me?” he doesn’t mean for it to come out so accusatory, but it does. He feels like he’s spitting fire as he talks, his bad hand shaking, “Why are you here then? I..... I wouldn’t forgive me. You shouldn’t. It’s..... It’s terrible.” How did he know that he wouldn’t end up that person, one that could hurt someone he considers family without thought? Had he hurt more people? Could he hurt his family? “How can you stand it?”