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Me this morning:
ME ME MEEEEEEEEEE
The craziest thing to me about this is that heâs actually built like a caveman
An Experiment | Idol Min Yoongi x OC Fic | Epilogue
Synopsis: Please read the fic here, it's a wonderful romantic story of two complicated adults falling into love. this epilogue is purely indulgent, fluffy husband yoongi, fluffy whipped father yoongi, soft father yoongi and a major romantic looser yoongi
Genre: Idol Yoongi AU, FLUFF, a lot of FLUFF, boyfriend Yoongi, some smut, two people trying to figure out their feelings for each other. Art curator OC, it's just a lot of fluff with some smut because I am terribly single.
Word Count: 21K+ (good lord so i have a long fic writing problem)
AOC Link: here
The room is softly lit by the morning sunlight, Yoongi squints his eyes as he reaches to silence his phone before he turns back, circling his arms around ___ as he pulls her even closer. He exhales softly, taking in the warmth of her body which softly lulls him back to sleep. Yoongiâs just a second away from sleep when ___âs alarm goes off.Â
___ groans immediately and buries her face deeper into Yoongiâs chest. The alarm continues but neither of them moves. "Make it stop," Yoongi mutters, his voice rough with sleep.
"You make it stop." "It's your alarm."
"You found yours first." He opens one eye. "That isn't how responsibility works."
"It is seven in the morning." The alarm continues its relentless assault. With a deep sigh that suggests he has personally suffered a great injustice, Yoongi reaches across her, stretching awkwardly toward her nightstand. His fingertips miss the phone entirely.
___ watches with obvious amusement as he blindly searches for it.
"You're not even looking." "I'm trying to keep my eyes closed."
"You've become spoiled." "By who?" She turns slightly in his arms and looks up at him. The answer is obvious, Yoongi stares back for a moment before finally finding the phone and silencing it.
The room falls quiet once more, neither of them says anything. Then, very carefully, he places her phone back on the nightstand, wraps both arms around her again, and pulls her against him with unmistakable determination.
"Yoongi." âNoâ Yoongi mutters as he shuts his eyes, going back to the very cozy and comfortable position they were in. Itâs like this most morning, neither of them is a morning person but are responsible adults that wake up at 7 am. âHoney we have to start getting readyâ ___ mumbles against his chest but Yoongi just snuggles closer.Â
âWe have a trip to leave for, and with my dad involved you donât want to be lateâ ___ talks as she lifts her head to take a good look at him, âI donât even know how we agreed to thisâ Yoongiâs voice is thick, still a bit hazy from a good nightâs sleep.Â
âI know how, our motherâs divided and conquered, making each of us agree to it individually so that our combined brain couldnât say no to thisâ ___ speaks as Yoongi loosens his grip around her. "Our combined brain isn't a thing," Yoongi says.Â
"It absolutely is a thing.""It's not."
"You have the common sense and I have the social skills." ___ comments like itâs the most sane thing in the world and Yoongi chuckles, his face dropping back into her shoulder. "Should we just say that some work came up for me?" he mumbles, his voice muffled against her skin as he presses a series of absent-minded kisses along her shoulder blade. "Something unavoidable. A last-minute meeting. A studio emergency. A national crisis."
"A national crisis?" "I don't know. I'll figure something out."
"And abandon me with the parents, your brother and sister-in-law and their new baby and Sunhee all alone in a cabin?" ___ asks as she pushes him back enough to properly look at him, immediate outrage colouring her expression. "You'd abandon your gorgeous, beautiful, kind, smart and hot girlfriend like that?"
Yoongi studies her seriously for a moment. "You forgot humble." ___ chuckles as she pulls back completely this time, standing up as she dramatically ties a robe around her. "Hey," Yoongi protests immediately, pushing himself up onto one elbow. "You can't just leave me in the bed like this."
"Watch me." "We have an unspoken mutual understanding about extra five minutes of cuddling every morning." ___ picks up her toothbrush without a shred of sympathy. "That sounds like something you made up."Â
âIt absolutely isnât yesterday morning you made me late for a meeting because you wanted to cuddleâ Yoongi says once he takes a long sip of his water. âYou were late because you got distracted by me in a pencil skirt and we just had to have sexâ ___ talks to him through the mirror as she watches Yoongi walk towards her, his hands snaking around her.
Years of dating have done nothing to reduce the frequency with which he finds reasons to touch her. ___ catches his reflection in the mirror as he rests his chin on her head. His hair is still messy from sleep, his eyes half closed, his expression carrying the distinct look of someone who has not yet accepted that the day has officially begun.
"You're supposed to be getting ready." ___ comments with a mouth full of toothpaste, âI am getting ready, I need the morning cuddling to recharge myself for the dayâ Yoongi whines and ___ canât help but smile. She had feared this once, early on. That the freshness of it would fade for him. That someone who lived as large and publicly and exhaustingly as he did would eventually find ordinary mornings with her ordinary. But he just seems to have settled deeper into it somehow, like he's been growing roots she can't fully see.
"Baby, come on." She spits, rinses, turns in the circle of his arms to face him properly. His eyes open slightly more, tracking her. "I want us to be on time." ___ asks as her hands reach up to fix his hair, almost as long as her bob from years ago.
âWe can save time and shower togetherâ Yoongi suggests with a smirk which earns him a soft smack on his chest, âNone of this around our parents, last time you kissed me good bye and my parents tried to give me the sex talk at the ripe age of 32â He presses his lips together. His eyes are doing the thing where he's trying very hard not to find something funny and failing at a foundational level.Â
"How about this," she says, her hands settling against his chest, "I get in the shower while you make us amazing coffee, and then you get ready because you're quick, and we leave on time." She punctuates it with a soft kiss, which is her first mistake, because his arms tighten around her immediately, pulling her closer with the certainty.
Their lips stay touching, barely, the kiss not quite ending. "I'm not always quick," he murmurs against her mouth. Her fingers find their way into his hair, combing through it slowly, and he makes the quiet sound he makes when something feels good, low and unhurried, his forehead tilting down toward hers.
The bathroom is warm, the coffee isn't made, they are going to be late. She lets herself melt for exactly one more moment, her fingers curling at the nape of his neck, his arms solid around her, the morning quiet and warm and entirely unconcerned with their schedule.
Then she pulls back, firmly with genuine resolve. "Coffee," she says. "Now. Go." He exhales slowly through his nose, the long suffering exhale of a man being asked to do something deeply unreasonable. His arms drop as he steps back.
"Fine," he says. "I love you" He turns toward the door with great reluctance, pausing at the frame to look back at her over his shoulder, hair still a disaster, eyes still half asleep, wearing the expression of someone filing a formal complaint with the universe.
She points at the kitchen. He goes, he canât believe how whipped he is, how heâs planned this entire trip just to propose.Â
âSunhee, you got the dress? You have to make sure that she wears that onlyâ Yoongi whispers in the car as ___ steps out to get them some more water, or rather forced to get water. "I have the dress," Sunhee confirms from the back seat, with the calm of someone who has been briefed extensively and takes her responsibilities seriously. "I have the dress, the earrings, the shoes. I also have backups of the earrings because I know her."
"Good." Yoongi nods rapidly. "Good, good, good-" "Yoongi-ya." His mother's voice booms suddenly from the car speaker, loud enough that both he and Sunhee flinch. She is apparently coordinating from the other vehicle. "We've confirmed with the decorator. The florals will be set up by four. Everyone on the guest list has confirmed."
âAnd you stuck to the guest list? I donât want any random relatives thereâ âWe stuck to the guest list, only 20 people other than us have been invitedâ Mrs Lee speaks and Yoongi can hear how sheâs been crying, hopefully out of joy.
"Aunty," he says carefully. "Are you okay?" A brief pause, a soft sound that she tries to disguise as clearing her throat. "I'm perfectly fine," she says, with great composure. "I'm just very happy."
"I'm not crying," Mrs. Lee says firmly, to someone in the car with her. "You cried at breakfast," Mr. Lee says and thereâs some laughter on their end. Yoongi roped in everyone in their family to help with the proposal, he wanted it to be just right for ___. Was it the wisest decision, definitely not, the mother showed up crying happy tears today, but theyâre all also very excited.Â
âGuys I just need you to keep this going till tomorrow evening, ___ canât know-â âDad, do you guys need more water?â ___ interrupts Yoongi as she knocks on the other car, all he hears is his mother yelp before he hastily disconnects the call.Â
âWhy are you guys so, mom are you okay?â ___ asks her mother out of genuine concern whoâs currently trying to even out her breath. âI am fine, itâs just the altitudeâ Mrs Lee dismisses her daughter, âWeâre still in SeoulâÂ
She gets in, pulls the door shut, and sits for a second. "Baby." She turns to Yoongi. "I don't think my dad should be driving. They're all acting so weird, should I go over there and drive them?"
"What-" Yoongi starts. "Your mother was also acting strange this morning, are they all sick? Did something happen that nobody is telling me?" Her brow furrows with genuine concern now, the kind that means she's started running through possibilities. "Is everyone okay? Is this an intervention? Am I being intervened?"
"Nobody is being intervened," Yoongi says. "You've been weird all morning too." ___ adds turning to Sunhee in the backseat. "I'm a surgeon, ___. I'm always a little weird." "That's fair," ___ concedes, which buys approximately four seconds before she turns back to Yoongi. "Yoongi."
"Mm." "Look at me." He looks at her. Fully, directly, with the particular stillness he reserves for moments that require absolute composure. She searches his face the way she always does, that quiet careful reading she's gotten very good at over the years.
He holds very still and thinks about nothing. He thinks about the weather. He thinks about the coffee he made this morning. He thinks about absolutely anything except the ring sitting in his jacket pocket approximately thirty centimeters from her hand.
"You're sure everyone is fine," she says. "Everyone is fine," he says. She looks at him for one more long moment. "Everyone is just excited for the trip," Sunhee offers from the back, which is both true and the most dangerous thing she could have said.
___ goes very still. "Excited how," she says slowly. "It's just a weekend trip, why would anyone be-" "I meant relaxed," Sunhee says immediately. "Everyone is just relaxed. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Very normal amount of relaxation."
"Right," ___ says. Yoongi pulls out of the car park before she can follow that thread any further. In the back seat Sunhee opens her phone and stares at it with the focused intensity of someone who almost just blew the entire operation and knows it.
He drives, he breathes, he does not touch his jacket pocket. One more day, he thinks. Just one more day.
âIf their engagement party is this small, I canât even imagine what size the wedding is going to beâ the proposal and wedding discussions are in full swing, thatâs all they can talk about. Â
âItâs a proposal today, a wedding in six months and grandchildren in a yearâ Mr Lee adds with a big smile, ___ is his pride and joy, and the only child, he canât wait for this next chapter of her life. âYoongi says that theyâve discussed it all, when theyâre going to have kids, how many,â Mr Min adds and the mothers exchange a look.
It is the kind of look that contains an entire conversation. The kind that has been building since an afternoon over barley tea and good plates and twenty photographs, since a sweater recognized across a kitchen, since two women who missed their calling as matchmakers watched something they quietly arranged become something neither of them could have fully imagined.Â
The car goes quiet for a moment, the comfortable kind, the kind that has too much warmth in it to need filling. "Six months for the wedding might be ambitious," Mrs. Min says eventually. "I was thinking spring," Mrs. Lee says immediately.
"Spring is perfect." "The venue near Hannam-" "I was thinking the same venue" "It's beautiful in April" "We should call them Monday"
"She hasn't said yes yet," Mr. Lee points out, mildly, from the driver's seat. Both mothers turn to look at him. "She's going to say yes," they say, in unison, with the absolute certainty of two women who have never once doubted this outcome.
Mr. Lee faces the road again. "Just noting the order of events," he says peacefully, and says nothing further.
The cottage is just as ___ remembered, the November chill just right for the place, thereâs already an outdoor bonfire going. She looks at the hills going soft in the fading light. At Sunhee, who has gotten very busy with her bag, and Wonik, who is studying the treeline with suspicious intensity, and both sets of parents whoâve gotten very busy with getting dinner together.
Something moves through her chest, quiet and enormous and not entirely nameable. "This is really beautiful," she says softly. His hand presses gently at her back. "Come on," he says. "You're cold."
She is, she hadn't noticed until he said it. She lets him walk her toward the warmth of the bonfire, his hand steady at her back, the voices of their family carrying across the cold air behind them, and she thinks distantly that she has been trying to prepare herself for this feeling for months now.
The food and drinks are flowing in no time, the kind of dinner that stops being about eating and becomes about something else entirely, the warmth of it, the noise, the particular happiness of people who love each other and don't get enough evenings like this.
Everyone is beyond full and nobody stops eating. The drinks are refilled before glasses are empty. Wonik is in the middle of a story that keeps getting interrupted by his own laughter. Both mothers have migrated to the same end of the table and are deep in a conversation that Yoongi is choosing not to investigate. Mr. Lee is attempting to explain something to Mr. Min using a napkin as a diagram.
"She is so precious," he says softly, his hand moving in a slow careful arc across her back, the size of it covering most of her. "I can't believe she's six months already." He shakes his head slightly, careful not to disturb her. "She was so tiny when Sejin-hyung first sent the pictures."
"She still is tiny," ___ says from beside him, watching Hana's face in the firelight. "She's grown," he insists, quietly, with the authority of someone who has been tracking this very seriously. "She's a baby, Yoongi."
"A bigger baby." He adjusts his arm slightly, cradling her closer on instinct, and Hana sighs, a small sound, entirely content. Something in his expression does something ___ doesn't have a word for yet, soft and unguarded and slightly undone, the look of a person being trusted completely by something very small and finding it more than they were prepared for.
___ watches him for a moment. The firelight on his face. The careful way he holds her. The fact that he has barely moved from this spot for forty minutes and doesn't appear to have any intention of changing that.
"You're good with her," she says softly. He glances at her sideways. "She's easy." "She's not easy, she screamed for twenty minutes in the car."
"She was tired." He looks back down at Hana, adjusting the blanket over her with two fingers, gently, so gently. "She just needed to be held."
"Yoongi," she says quietly. "Mm." âShould we have one too? Get started today?â ___ speaks lightheartedly, and Yoongi freezes not expecting this. âI thought it wasnât a conversation for another two years?â
"I'm just saying." She gestures at Hana, at his enormous careful hands, at the general situation. "Look at you, youâre ready to be a dadâ she reaches over to take a long sip of her drink, while Yoongi looks down, the small baby in his arms, if he could freeze time, he would because heâs not ready for Hana to grow even a centimeter.Â
âIâve always been nurturing,â âYes and you know how to fix everything in our house, and you make cheesy dad jokes, you take such good care of meâ ___ speaks softly, resting her head against his arm. âI donât make dad jokes, I am funny and weâre not ready to be parents, weâre still very stupid people sometimesâ Yoongi notes as he looks across the table, watching as now the mothers have also been introduced to the tissue diagram.Â
âVery stupid people who buy expensive vases, where does all my art go when we have children?â ___ asks with genuine curiosity. âI mean Iâll love my children, but my collection will be older than they areâ she continues and Yoongi laughs, they always go into these hypothetically, thinking and over thinking about them.
âWeâll probably need a bigger place, youâll have to continue going on tour, mister, make us more moneyâ ___ jokes not so lightly, there is an impending tour that starts next year, sheâs not ready yet, emotionally at least.Â
âFor the tour, I had this idea, why donât you come with, travel with me, collect pieces from the places we visit,â Yoongi suggests, well heâs been thinking about it long and hard, going away for so long after being engaged is going to be difficult.Â
âItâs a lot to ask, but you could come at least for Europe and South America, you've been wanting to do more studio visits abroad. It doesn't have to be the tour following me around." He glances at her. "It could just be you, doing your work, in the same cities I happen to be in."
The fire crackles beside them. Hana sighs in her sleep. "Yoongi," she says softly. "It's a lot to ask," he says immediately, before she can be gentle about it. "I know it's a lot to ask. You'd be working around my schedule and I know how much you hate working around anyone's schedule-"
âYoongiâ ___ stops him, a firm hand on his thigh, âIâll come, of course Iâll comeâ she adds softly. He knows that if their positions were reversed, if she were the one leaving for six months to chase a dream she'd spent her entire life building, he wouldn't even let her finish asking before agreeing.
That is simply how this works now. Somewhere along the way, compromise stopped feeling like sacrifice and started feeling like love. "Really?" The question is so genuine that it makes her chest ache a little. "Really," she says, smiling. She knows how much Yoongi loves music.
She knows what happens to him when he performs, the way entire arenas disappear and somehow become intimate, the way he comes alive under stage lights despite spending years insisting he prefers quiet rooms and small circles of people. She knows what creating means to him, what performing means to him, what the fans mean to him.
The lake beyond the cabin reflects fragments of firelight and moonlight together. And despite the ring hidden away and the proposal waiting patiently for tomorrow evening, despite the months of planning and secrets and coordination that brought everyone here, Yoongi finds himself thinking that this might be his favourite part.
Sitting beside her while she casually rearranges her future to make room for him as though it isn't even a difficult decision. As though there was never any question about choosing each other.
The day started as usual, slow breakfast, watching a movie while endlessly bickering about the plot, driving into the city for a big family lunch and now this. Impromptu family portraits that Wonik offered to take. Everyone had changed into nicer clothes after lunch, partly because photographs had been mentioned and partly because both mothers possessed an almost supernatural ability to make adults obey dress codes without ever directly issuing instructions.Â
 ___ in a soft silk dress that goes up to her ankles, the heels Yoongi insisted on, the solid solitaire studs he gifted her for their first anniversary, smelling faintly like Yoongi because they couldnât help but kiss when he first saw her.Â
__ wore a soft silk dress that brushed her ankles whenever she moved, elegant without being overly formal. The heels had been entirely Yoongi's idea. She was also wearing the small solitaire studs he'd gifted her on their first anniversary.
The first truly serious gift, the kind that had left her speechless for nearly an entire minute. They caught the afternoon sunlight now whenever she turned her head. âHey handsomeâ ___ mutters to Yoongi as the Min parents pose away.Â
Yoongi was conflicted about a three piece suit with a tie, but he only plans on getting engaged once, the pearlish stripes on his suit completely match her dress, his arm around her waist, glancing sideways every other second, making himself believe that she is real, very real.
All the family adds to the pictures one by one, standing together for a group picture, a family picture. Hana is smiling brightly, freshly awake from her nap, everyone smiling so widely, happily.. Truly happy, the specific kind that doesn't need anything added to it.
Yoongi feels her lean into his side slightly, her hand finding the one he has at her waist, fingers threading through his. âLetâs take a few for the couple in the gardenâ Wonik suggests pointing to the other side of the veranda.Â
Yoongi laces his fingers through hers without much asking, already moving, already pulling her gently away from the group before she's fully processed the suggestion. She follows, because she always follows when he takes her hand like that, certain and unhurried, like he knows exactly where they're going. "Where are we-" "Just here," he says.
She's confused, mildly, in the pleasant way of someone being led somewhere by someone they trust completely. The noise of the group fades behind them as they round the side of the veranda, the November air cooler here, quieter, the last of the evening light sitting low and golden over the hills.
And then she sees it, not bouquets, not cut flowers arranged in vases the way she might have expected, the way anyone might have expected. Potted plants. Dozens of them, arranged with the careful consideration of someone who listened, really listened, over years of conversation. Trailing vines and small flowering things and the particular kind of greenery that belongs in a home rather than a ceremony, that looks like it has a future rather than just an occasion.
She stops walking, her hand goes still in his. "Yoongi," she says softly. Not a question, just his name, the way she says it when something has caught her somewhere too deep for a complete sentence.
"You always say cut flowers make you sad," he says, from beside her, his voice quiet and even, the voice he uses when he's saying something he's thought about for a long time. "That they're already dying when you get them."
___ did say that. Once, early on, offhandedly, the way you say things you don't expect anyone to file away. She turns to look at him. He's already looking at her. Not sideways, not adjacent, not the careful almost-eye-contact she spent the early months learning to read. Directly, fully, the way he looks at her now when he has decided there is nothing left to be careful about.
His free hand moves to his jacket pocket and her breath catches. "I've been trying to figure out how to do this for months," he says, and his voice is steady but she can hear the underneath of it, the particular quality of a man who is not nervous about the answer but is nonetheless undone by the size of the moment. "I had a whole speech. I wrote it down." A small breath. "I lost it somewhere around the third draft."
She lets out a sound that is almost a laugh and almost something else entirely. He looks down briefly, then back up at her, and there it is, the ring, catching the last of the evening light in his hand, and she was right, she knew she was right, it is not too flashy, it is exactly her, it is so exactly her that her eyes fill immediately and she does nothing to stop them.
âI love you, more than I ever imagined, more than Iâd ever allow myself to believe, you bring so much joy to me, my life, my familyâ Yoongi stops for a brief moment, trying to even his breath after he looks across to see his parents whoâre already crying.Â
"You're funny," he says, and his voice has found its footing again, warm and certain. "Kind. Smart. So charming." His thumb moves slowly over her knuckles. "You can talk your way into any room and flirt your way out of almost anything and somehow make both look completely effortless."
She laughs, wet and unguarded. "You bring skills I've always lacked," he continues, quieter now. "The kind I didn't even know I was missing until you just, had them. All of them. Naturally." A small breath. "And you have me so whipped."
"Honey-" "I'm not even ashamed of it," he says, with complete sincerity. "I'm just. Alarmed, sometimes, by the depths of it." His brow furrows slightly, like he's still genuinely processing this information about himself. "It's an unreasonable amount to feel about one person."
She presses her lips together hard, the tears coming faster now. "If you asked me," he says, softly, "I would make time stop. I would go back to the exact moment we met in that elevator."Â
He pauses, and something in his expression shifts, opens, becomes the most unguarded she has ever seen him in all the years of learning his face. "I would do every single part of it again. All of it. The tour, the distance, the fights, the falling in love." His voice drops. "All of it, if it ends here. With you."Â
Yoongi reaches over, wiping a few tears, gently cradling her head, "You forgot hot," she says, mid tears, her voice completely steady, like she's been waiting to say it.
He breaks, the laugh that comes out of him is the biggest she has ever heard from him, sudden and completely helpless, his forehead dropping forward against hers, his shoulders shaking, and she's laughing too now, properly, through the tears, the two of them undone in the middle of what was supposed to be a serious moment and somehow is more perfect for it.
He lifts his head. His eyes are wet at the corners, she notices, and she doesn't say anything about it because she loves him and also because she knows he'll deny it. Yoongi doesnât waste any time getting on his knee, looking at her for a second too long like heâs trying to imprint this memory into his brain.Â
"___," he says finally, just her name, in that particular way, the way that has meant something specific since an elevator and twenty photographs and a jacket that was never really about a jacket. "Will you marry me?"
The garden goes completely quiet. The man who has been, from the very first sideways glance in a basement parking lot, so much more than she was prepared for.Â
Her yes comes out on a breath, soft and immediate and completely certain. "Yes." She shakes her head slightly, laughing again, the tears coming fresh. "Yes, of course yes, was there ever any doubt-"
He's already standing, already reaching for her, the ring on her finger before she's finished the sentence, and then his arms are around her and his warm lips on hers before he can even remember to breathe.
She kisses him back with everything she has. Her hands find his face, his jaw, her fingers curling against him like she needs something to hold onto, and he obliges, his arms tightening around her waist, pulling her closer in the way he does when he's finished being sensible about things.
Yoongi pulls back just enough to breathe and then doesn't go far, his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed, both of them just breathing for a moment in the quiet of the garden. ___ kisses him again, softer this time, her thumb brushing along his jaw, and he sighs into it, his hands spreading warm at her back, unhurried now, like they have all the time in the world.
They eventually turn around, ___ still in Yoongiâs arms as she waves her hand, excitedly showing off her ring as they walk closer. More people are around now, friends, the members, aunts and uncles, the excited mothers who canât stop crying, everyone they love is here.Â
"FiancĂŠ," ___ practices, quietly, to the room, to herself, turning the word over like she's checking the weight of it.
Yoongi cheeses so hard it's almost alarming. The full smile, unstoppable, the kind he usually reserves for moments when nobody is watching. He pulls her closer into his lap without any pretense, his arms coming around her from behind.
"FiancĂŠ," he repeats, and the way he says it makes her melt back against his chest immediately, all her bones making a collective decision to stop working.
"It sounds different out loud," she says softly. "Good different?" "Very good different." She turns the ring slowly on her finger. "How do you feel?" he asks quietly. Not insecurely, just wanting to know, the way he asks things he actually wants answered.
She looks down at the ring. At his arms around her. At the room that smells like the cottage and the bonfire and faintly like his jacket.
"I'm so happy," she says, simply, because it's true and he deserves the uncomplicated version of it. "I'm so, unreasonably, embarrassingly happy." He makes the quiet sound against her hair that means he is too. The one that isn't quite a word but doesn't need to be.
"FiancĂŠ," she says again, softer this time. His arms tighten once. "Keep going," he murmurs, "I like it."
She smiles at the ceiling. "FiancĂŠ." "Mm." "My fiancĂŠ." He buries his face in her hair and says nothing, which is the loudest answer in the room.
They return to the party after a few too many minutes. The mothers have stabilized, relatively. Hana is being passed around like the smallest, most beloved parcel.
"You know," Wonik says, settling into the chair beside the fire with the tone of someone about to say something that will not leave the group alone, "technically speaking, you're already married."
___ looks at him. "We're engaged, Wonik, we just did the thing-" "You own property together," he says, counting on his fingers. "You have a pet."
"Tangie is Yoongi's-" "Tannie prefers you and you buy his food," Sunhee says pleasantly. "That's joint custody at minimum" she continues and ___ smiles flatly at her friend making a very good point.Â
"You have a joint investment portfolio," Namjoon adds with a big wide grin. "He made me do that-" ___ exclaims slightly, hitting her fiance on the chest.Â
"You argued for forty minutes about a vacuum," Jimin adds from across, with the delight of someone who has been waiting to contribute. "A specific vacuum. With strong feelings."
"The suction capacity was relevant-" "You have a shared calendar," Namjoon cuts off Yoongi, the smug smile still there. The fire crackles, someone snickers. Yoongi, beside her, says absolutely nothing, which means he agrees completely and has the self preservation not to say so.Â
The friends continue with the teasing, whatâs even more fun for ___ is hearing every small detail that went into planning this engagement. They just sit and talk over shared drinks, days like these are for that.
âNow I know Yoongi was very strict about no gifts, but I had to get something,â Mrs Lee says as she hands the newly engaged couple a red velvet box. ___ takes it, glancing at Yoongi once before opening it.
Inside, nestled against the velvet, are two rings. Simple, warm, exactly right. She lifts one carefully and turns it toward the firelight, and there it is, engraved on the inside band in small careful letters, today's date.
"Just an early wedding gift," Mrs. Lee says softly, and ___ laughs, barely choking back the tears, her thumb running over the engraving like she needs to confirm it's real.
"In the olden times," Mrs. Lee begins, her voice steady and warm, "the engagement was closely followed by a wedding. There weren't engagement rings, not the way there are now." She pauses briefly, her hands engulfing ___âs hand with an engagement ring. "So my great grandmother gave my grandmother engraved wedding bands as a gift of approval."
"Now," Mrs. Lee continues, softer now, looking between ___ and Yoongi with the expression of a woman delivering something she has been carrying carefully for a long time, "you both might take your sweet time planning your wedding. There will be some discussion in finding the right date." The faintest smile. "Knowing our families, there will be considerable discussion." Mrs. Min makes a sound that is not quite a denial.
"But I wanted to give you this as an early gift," Mrs. Lee says, "so you remember today." She pauses, and when she continues her voice carries something quieter underneath it, something that has clearly been thought about long before tonight. "People often forget that there's a marriage waiting for them after the wedding."
"The wedding is one day," she says simply. "Marriage is everything after it. And I wanted you to have something that reminds you of that. That the two of you chose each other before the venue and the flowers and the dress." Her eyes find ___'s. "That it started here. Like this."Â
Itâs all too overwhelming, and before ___ can overthink this a bit more, Yoongi is softly pulling her in a corner.
âAre these signs, should we just get married today?â ___ spits it out, whispering it like saying it out loud would break the illusion or something. âWeâre spiraling, but it makes total sense doesnât it?â Yoongi adds with agreement that doesnât help ___ at all.
âWe canât, we donât have an officiant or anything. Also because it would be an insane thing to doâ Yoongi mutters as he wipes some sweat, feeling hot on a November night. âWe canât, it would be totally insane but also make complete sense, Namjoon could officiate, he just did officiate another wedding weeks agoâ he continues and ___ rapidly shakes her head.
âBabe it would be totally insaneâ ___ repeats not so convinced. She looks at him. Properly, fully, the way she looked at him in the elevator the first time the pieces assembled themselves, the way she looked at him outside her building when she suggested an experiment, the way she has been looking at him ever since, like he is the most specific and unrepeatable thing she has ever encountered.
He looks back at her with the exact same expression. She is trying to find the rational argument. It is somewhere in there. She can almost locate it. "Everyone we love is here," she says softly, thinking out loud now, the whisper dropping even lower. "Right now. All of them."
"All of them," he confirms quietly. "That never happens."
"It really doesn't." "And we have the rings." She looks down at the velvet box still in her hand. "Two sets of rings. We have an ordained Namjoon-"
"Who is right there," Yoongi points out, unnecessarily, because Namjoon is indeed right there, approximately four meters away, laughing at something Jimin said, entirely unaware that his evening is about to change significantly.
___ looks at Yoongi for a few seconds longer. Not thinking anymore, not really. Just looking at him, reading the face she has spent years learning, checking for the thing she needs to find.
It's there, it's been there the whole time. "Are you sure?" she asks, very quietly. He doesn't hesitate, doesn't look away, doesn't do any of the careful deliberating she fell in love with watching him do. "I've been sure for a long time," he says. "The date was always going to be whenever you were ready."
She exhales, something in her chest settles with a finality that feels less like a decision and more like an arrival. âOkay, then turn around, you canât see me on our wedding dayâ ___ speaks as she pushes Yoongi away, who can only laugh at all this.
"Darling, I proposed to you approximately two hours ago," Yoongi fights back, stumbling slightly from the push, which had genuine force behind it. The pilates she started as a joke is apparently not a joke anymore.
"Turn around," she repeats. He turns around, still laughing. "I cannot believe," he tells the cottage wall, "that this is how this evening is going."
"Okay." Her voice shifts into something more focused, the tone she uses when her brain has made a decision and is already three steps ahead. "I'm going to find Sunhee. You go find Namjoon and Jimin because we need Jimin's brain on this." A pause. "Then come find me at the aisle."
"We don't have an aisle-" "We'll make one," she says simply. "Go." He hears her heels on the stone, moving away, already gone.
Things move quickly once they've decided. Faster than either of them expected, which perhaps shouldn't be surprising given that the people they love have been coordinating a proposal for months and apparently the skill transfers seamlessly to an impromptu wedding.
Jimin takes point immediately, which is exactly why she asked for his brain. Within ten minutes he has quietly briefed the group, managed the mothers before they could reach a volume that would alert anyone not yet in the know, and somehow produced a playlist from his phone that he insists is perfect and nobody has the time to argue with.
___âs parents find her in their bedroom and close the door behind her without being asked. They don't say anything for a moment. Just looks at their daughter standing in the soft lamplight in her silk dress, rings on her fingers, eyes still slightly bright from the proposal, and something moves across her face that is too large for words.
Her mother's hand comes up to her mouth. Her father stands very still, the way he goes still when something is too large to move through quickly, and just looks at her with the expression he has worn at every significant moment of her life. Her first gallery show. Her first time leaving for a trip alone. Every arrival and every departure.
He has always looked at her like she is his greatest achievement and his greatest pride and the thing he is most afraid of losing all at once. "Hi," ___ says softly, because someone has to start.
Her mother laughs, wet and immediate, crossing the room in three steps and folding her into her arms the way she has since ___ was small. ___ goes into it completely, her chin on her mother's shoulder, eyes closing. "My baby," her mother murmurs, into her hair.Â
Her father waits, he opens his arms, and ___ walks into them the way she has her entire life, without thinking, without hesitating. "Dad," she says, muffled against his shoulder. âI know you two have always wanted a big wedding for me-â ___ is cut off almost immediately by her father.
â___ all weâve ever wanted is for you to be happyâ She opens her mouth. He continues, quietly, "Not a specific kind of happy. Not a happy that looks a particular way or happens in a particular venue in April with flowers your mother and Mrs. Min have been arguing about for six months." The corner of his mouth moves.
Her mother makes a sound behind them that confirms the April venue discussion has been very real and very ongoing. "You are so happy, ___. Every time I see you with him." He exhales slowly. "That's all it was ever about." She nods, not trusting her voice.
"Now." He straightens slightly, composing himself , "A big wedding would have been lovely, but this?" He glances toward the window, toward the bonfire light and the sound of their people settling into place, Jimin's soft playlist drifting through the walls. "This is more you."
She laughs, wet and sudden. "It's completely insane." "It's completely you," he corrects, warmly. "Which has never been the same as insane." He considers this. "Usually."
Her father offers his arm, unhurried and steady. "Shall we?" he says.
"Don't let me cry through the whole thing," she says as she holds her father tightly. "No promises," her father says, and his voice wavers just slightly on the last word, which tells her everything about how he's actually doing. She squeezes his arm once.
"Okay, Yoongi, snap out of it before you spiral more!" Jin's hands land on his shoulders, firm and immediate, the grip of a man who has managed this particular human through a significant number of life events and knows exactly how much force is required.
Yoongi is pacing. He has been pacing for approximately four minutes, which for him is the equivalent of a full breakdown. "Hyung, we're being totally stupid aren't we," he says, to Jin, to the garden, to the general concept of his own decision making. "This is not going to-"
"Snap out of it." Jimin materializes on his other side, "You love her. She loves you. This is happening."
"We decided this forty minutes ago-" "Great decisions are made quickly," Jin says, with great authority.
"That is not true-" "Yoongi." Jin speaks as he looks Yoongi square in the eyes, the way he has since they were young, direct and without ceremony. "Look at me."
"Do you want to marry her?" "Yes, obviously, that's not-" "Do you want to marry her tonight?" A pause, shorter than it should be. "Yes." "Then what," Jin says, releasing him, straightening his suit jacket with two efficient tugs, "is the problem."
"Nothing, and you better not ruin this for us or for you." Mrs. Min's voice comes softly from one of the chairs, and every man in the vicinity goes slightly still.
She is sitting with the particular composure of a woman who has been through a great deal of emotion this evening and has arrived, finally, at something quieter on the other side of it. She looks at her son with the expression she has worn at every significant moment of his life, every stage, every milestone, every time he has done something that reminded her of exactly who he is.
"Mom-" Yoongi starts. "Let me finish," she says, gently but firmly. He closes his mouth. "Is this the shotgun wedding I imagined for you?" she says. "No.", The corner of her mouth moves. "Mrs. Lee and I had very strong feelings about the decor"
"But." She stands, slowly, and crosses to him, and takes his face in her hands the way she has since he was small, her thumbs against his jaw, tilting his face down toward hers. "You are marrying the love of your life. Tonight. Surrounded by every single person who loves you both." Her voice holds, just barely. "And that trumps everything else. It trumps all of it."
Yoongi says nothing. His jaw shifts slightly beneath her hands. "You deserve her," she says quietly. "You deserve the love you feel for her. And you deserve the love she has for you, which is" she stops, collects herself, continues, "considerable. And patient. And exactly what I always hoped someone would feel for you."
She smooths his lapel with the same two efficient tugs Jin used, and then looks at him one final time. The quiet that follows is the warm kind. Yoongi looks at his mother for a long moment. Then he leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead, brief and certain, the way he does things when words aren't enough and he knows it.
She pats his cheek once and turns back to her chair with great composure. "Someone get me a tissue," she says, to no one in particular, and sits back down.Â
The garden has already started to come together around them. What began as a proposal venue only a few hours earlier has somehow transformed into a wedding venue through a combination of family determination, questionable decision-making, and an overwhelming refusal from everyone present to let practicality interfere with romance.
The flowers intended for the engagement have been rearranged and redistributed across the lawn. Strings of lights weave through the trees overhead, casting everything in a soft golden glow as evening settles over the cabin. Blankets have been draped across chairs against the November chill, and candles appear to be multiplying every time somebody looks away for more than a minute.
âIf everyone can please take a seat, we will be starting with the ceremony soonâ Jimin announces to the small crowd of family and friends. Namjoon calls out eventually as he makes his way forward. "Everybody sit down before they change their minds"Â
People begin settling into the mismatched collection of chairs. The evening has grown cooler now, the last traces of daylight disappearing behind the hills as the lights overhead become brighter against the darkening sky. Yoongi stands near the edge of the lawn with his parents beside him.
âAre you nervous son?â his father asks softly, and Yoongi chuckles before he can even answer, âA little, am I supposed to be?â he asks candidly. âYes, because this matters to youâ his father answers briefly as his eyes trail off, watching his wife walk towards them.Â
For a moment they stand there together, the three of them, while the garden settles around them. Guests continue taking their seats, conversations growing quieter with every passing second, the excitement slowly giving way to anticipation.
The music begins again, soft enough to blend into the sounds of the evening, and almost immediately Jimin appears with the focused determination of a man who has appointed himself wedding coordinator despite nobody technically assigning him the role.
"Okay, everyone is seated. We are doing this properly," he announces, pointing toward the aisle before anyone can object. "Minâs, you're up first." Yoongi laughs incredulously, shaking his head as Jimin begins directing people with alarming confidence.
He catches sight of familiar faces as they pass, friends and family smiling back at him, some openly emotional, others looking entirely too pleased with themselves for helping facilitate what will undoubtedly become a family story for decades.Â
His mother reaches for his hand briefly, squeezing it once before letting go, while his father rests a hand against his shoulder for a moment, the gesture carrying more affection than either of them would ever comfortably put into words.Â
The aisle empties as he turns around, standing right by Namjoon who flashes him a quick smile and for the first time all evening, Yoongi finds himself looking toward the cabin door, waiting for the woman who is about to become his wife.
The soft Hawaii wind sways them softly as ___ sighs back into Yoongiâs chest as they stare at the vast ocean. âItâs so beautifulâ she murmurs as Yoongi continues to rub circles around her waist. âIt isâ Yoongi murmurs as he plasters a big kiss on her cheek.
It only took them four months to plan a honeymoon after the quick wedding, and the destination was pre decided, Hawaii. The trip came right as they registered their marriage, let their parents throw them a big reception in the city and Yoongi made an announcement on his Instagram, he kept it simple, a lovesick picture from their wedding day.
"Mr. and Mrs. Min," A concierge appears at their elbow with the quiet efficiency of someone trained never to look like an interruption. "My apologies for the wait. Your Villa is ready." Yoongi just nods, his hand steady at her waist as they follow him inside. The suite is everything the pictures promised and somehow still more than that, all warm wood and white linen and floor to ceiling glass looking straight out at the water.Â
âItâs gorgeousâ ___ comments the second the concierge is done talking their through the Villaâs details. âIt is, and as a congratulations for your wedding, weâve arranged for complimentary couples massages for today, please let me know what time would work for youâ the concierge says and ___âs eyes drift to her nametag, not remembering her name.Â
âAnd as a congratulations on your wedding, we've arranged complimentary couples massages, just let us know what time works best for you," the concierge adds, and ___ glances at her nametag. "Thank you, Sarah, but I think my husband has already arranged something for us." The word husband comes out easily, which still surprises her sometimes, she almost instinctively intertwines her hands with his.
Sarah smiles, and then her eyes drift to Yoongi for just a second too long, the particular kind of recognition she's trying to be professional about and not quite managing. "Of course, Mr. Min. We're huge fans, by the way. If there's anything at all you need during your stay."
Yoongi thanks her politely, the practiced warmth he has for these moments, and Sarah excuses herself with one last smile that is maybe thirty percent for ___ and seventy percent for him. ___ watches this with great patience.
"She was a fan," ___ observes pleasantly, the moment the door closes. "She was doing her job," Yoongi mumbles, still a bit groggy as he goes back to hugging ___, his hands back on her warm stomach. "She was doing her job for you specifically." ___ talks pointedly as she turns around, her hands at the nape of his neck.
Yooogi lips twitch with a smirk as he looks down at ___, she has the expression of someone making a completely reasonable observation, which makes it worse somehow. He presses his lips together. "Are you jealous?" he frames it as a question knowing he is right because ___ immediately digs her nails into his hair.
"I was just making an observation," she says, turning back to face the ocean, the strap of her tank top slipping off her shoulder in the process. Yoongi smiles and kisses her shoulder, his teeth grazing her skin softly, unhurried, like he has no intention of stopping anytime soon. "I'm madly in love with you," he murmurs against her skin, his voice low and warm. "I don't even notice anyone else."
His hands travel upward slowly, one cupping her breast, the other running along her waist, her ribs, back again. She doesn't answer immediately, just takes a slow breath as his fingers graze her nipple, soft and deliberate, until she melts back deeper into his chest with a quiet moan.
"I only want to love you," he murmurs between kisses pressed along her neck, her jaw, her shoulder. "Only want to touch you. I only want to kiss you." He turns her around gently, her back now to the ocean and her face tipped up toward him, itâs the same smile, the smile that makes almost everything not matter to him.Â
There isnât much talking as ___ lunges forward to kiss him very desperately as his hands picking her up almost instantly, he walks toward the bed without breaking the kiss, his hands secure and warm, and she goes willingly, fingers digging into his hair.Â
They have nowhere to be, no schedules, no flights, no timezones working against them. It takes her a moment to register that fully, the specific luxury of it, and when she does she slows down slightly, her hands stilling against his chest.
He notices immediately, the way he notices everything about her. "You okay?" his eyes are immediately filled with worry when it takes her a second too long to answer.Â
"We have nowhere to be," ___ mutters like this is only occurring to her, Yoongi canât help but chuckle as he sits down on the bed, her cradling in his lap
He looks at her for a second, hen he reaches up and moves her hands gently from his shirt, takes his time with the buttons himself. "I know," he says quietly. "So stop rushing." Her hands find his face instead, thumbs brushing along his jaw, and he lets her, eyes on hers, unhurried. Outside the glass the sun is beginning its slow descent toward the water and the light coming through, casting a golden light to the room, warm and golden and entirely unconcerned with them.
"Wanna fuck Mr Min?," she asks softly as he pushes off his, standing against the blinding light as she rids all the clothes off her, The smile that comes over his face is the unguarded one, the full version, âYes please Mrs Minâ He barely finishes the sentence before she captures his lips again, her hands at his jaw, pulling him back down to her.
He walks her backward onto the bed, following her down slowly, his hands running the full length of her like he's in no particular hurry, like he wants to take stock of her in this light specifically, warm and golden and completely his. She arches into his touch, fingers curling into his shoulders.
"You're staring," she murmurs, "Youâre gorgeous" he adds, and dips his head to press a kiss just below her collarbone, then lower, his hands spreading warm at her waist. She exhales slowly, her fingers finding their way back into his hair.Â
Outside the villa the sun keeps sinking toward the water, unhurried, the two of them equally so, the whole long week stretching out ahead of them with nowhere to be and nothing to interrupt it. For the first time in as long as either of them can remember, there is genuinely nothing else.
It's day four of the honeymoon when they both desperately need something familiar. They have a few Korean options nearby but settle on an ox bone soup place without much debate, ___ has been craving it for days and Yoongi knows better than to suggest otherwise.
"This is exactly what I needed," she sighs, taking the last of her rice and mixing it into the broth for the final few bites, the particular satisfaction of someone who has been waiting for this specific thing.
Yoongi chuckles softly, phone wedged between his shoulder and ear, reaching over without looking to wipe a grain of rice from her cheek. "She's great, we went on a hike today so we're both a little exhausted," he continues into the phone, and then simply eats the grain of rice off his thumb like that's a completely normal thing to do.
"The pictures look so beautiful. Are you happy, son?" Mrs. Min asks. Yoongi looks up to find ___ very focused on her bowl, chasing the last of the broth with great dedication. "Very much," he says, and means it simply. "Honey, should I order more rice?"
She mutters a no between bites without looking up. "Can I talk to her?" Mrs. Min asks and he hands the phone across the table without ceremony. ___ takes it, swallowing quickly. "Hi Mrs. Min," she says cheerfully and Yoongi goes back to eating, the hike having taken everything out of both of them.
"Mrs. Min? You're Mrs. Min too now, we've talked about this. It's just mom," Mrs. Min says warmly, and ___ gently bites her lip. They have had this conversation several times now, in varying degrees of seriousness.
"I know, I'm still getting used to it," she says, watching her husband eat quietly across the table, his eyes down, giving absolutely nothing away. âItâs fine, take your time, but not too longâ Mrs Min adds with a teasing tone.Â
"A few packages of yours arrived at the apartment, I left them in the guest room when I came to water the plants," Mrs. Min continues, and Yoongi can feel ___'s eyes drift from the phone call to the rest of his food. He constructs the perfect spoonful without looking up, broth and meat in the right ratio, and holds it out. ___ takes the bite immediately, still listening to his mother, like they have been doing it for years.
"And you were right, your neighbour downstairs is definitely an actor, he was very deliberately not making eye contact with me in the lobby," Mrs. Min continues, delivering this with the gravity of someone who has been sitting on the information and is very pleased to finally release it.
"I knew it," ___ says, pointing at Yoongi across the table. He raises his eyebrows. She's been saying this about the neighbour since they moved in, with the conviction of someone whose instincts are never wrong about these things and knows it. "Yoongi didn't believe me."
"Maybe you should listen to your wife," ___ starts, and stops mid sentence when another spoonful appears in front of her face, Yoongi holding it out with complete nonchalance, eyes elsewhere, like he's barely aware he's doing it.Â
"I always listen to you," Yoongi says pleasantly. "When have I not?" "That is true," ___ concedes, which costs her nothing because it's accurate. There's a quiet on Mrs. Min's end that has too much warmth in it. "You two," she says finally, softly, the words carrying something that isn't quite a complete sentence and doesn't need to be.
"What?" ___ asks. "Nothing. I'm just very happy." A small pause, and then with the casual precision of a woman who has been waiting for the right moment, "A happy honeymoon is what leads to children, so extend your vacation by all means if you come back with some good news."
"Mom!" ___ stutters, the word slipping out entirely on its own, propelled purely by embarrassment. She's been getting this from her own mother for weeks now and apparently the other one has coordinated.
Yoongi looks up from his bowl, mildly puzzled, trying to read the situation from her face alone.Mrs. Min, to her credit, lets the stutter settle for exactly one second before she says, very softly, "You called me mom."
___ closes her eyes briefly. "I noticed." Yoongi mouths what across the table. ___ shakes her head at him, which tells him everything. He reaches over and takes his phone back gently. "Mom, let us breathe, we just got married."
"I'm just saying," Mrs. Min says serenely, "the timing would be lovely." "Goodbye mom," Yoongi says, and hangs up before she can agree with herself any further. He looks at ___ as he sets the phone down. She's already looking at him with the expression of someone who has just survived something and needs a moment.Â
"Don't take her too seriously, we decided to wait two years," Yoongi reassures her as he flags down the server. He waits for a response but gets only a soft nod, and then the server is back with the bill and the card machine and the moment passes.
They did decide to wait two years. It was a logical, sensible conversation that they had like two logical, sensible adults, enjoy the marriage first, travel, sleep in, be selfish with their time for a little while longer. ___ had agreed completely and meant it.
She still means it, mostly. The emotional tug is a recent development, and she's fairly certain Hawaii is to blame. Four days of Yoongi with nowhere to be and nothing pulling at him, which means four days of him at his most himself, unhurried and attentive in that quiet way of his, remembering exactly how she takes her coffee, reapplying sunscreen on the back of her neck without being asked, looking at her in the golden late afternoon light like she's the most interesting thing in any room he's ever been in.
And then there's the fitted t-shirt situation, which is frankly unreasonable and she feels she should be able to raise it formally somewhere. She watches him tap his card against the machine, easy and unbothered, and thinks that he's going to be a terrifyingly good father and that two years is simultaneously the right call and a very long time.
She doesn't say any of this. She picks up her bag and stands up. "Ready?" "Yeah," he says, and holds the door open for her, reaching for her hand almost immediately once they're outside, the recent clinginess of a man who has apparently decided that being married means he needs to be touching her at all times. She lets him, fingers threading through his.
"What is it? You've been quiet," he says, and then, reading her correctly as he always does, "I'll talk to my mother about all this." "Are you sure we should wait two years?" ___ interrupts as they get back into the car, the question coming out more plainly than she'd intended. "It's not like I'm getting any younger."
"Don't say that," Yoongi says quietly, the lightness leaving his voice. "I'm just being practical." she adds and Yoongi sighs, sinking deeper into the seat. A discussion like this, at this hour, after a full day of hiking, can easily spiral if they're not careful and they both know it.Â
"You're only thirty three ___, thatâs young-â "It is, but I'm also not twenty five. What if I have fertility issues already? What if we can't conceive? We should have really discussed this in more detail before we got married," ___ rambles, and he recognises the particular quality of it, not an argument, just nerves finding the nearest exit.
Yoongi is quiet for a moment. "Have you been worried about this for a while?" She opens her mouth and closes it. "Not actively. It just, it comes up sometimes." He reaches over and takes her hand in the dark of the car, not saying anything immediately, just holding it. The villa lights come into view ahead of them, warm and familiar after four days.
"We can see a doctor when we get back," he says simply. "Both of us. Get everything checked, know exactly where we stand." He glances at her. "Then we decide together, with actual information. Not just fear."
___ looks at him for a second. This is the thing about him that still catches her off guard sometimes, how quickly he moves from emotion to solution without making her feel dismissed. "Just like that?" "Just like that," he says.Â
"We're not waiting two years because it's a rule. We're waiting because we thought we wanted to. If that's changed, it's changed." The car stops but neither of them moves immediately. "I'm not pressuring you, am I?" ___ asks softly.
Yoongi takes a deep breath. "___, we're married. We're supposed to talk to each other, we're allowed to have a change of heart. But I also don't want us making decisions out of fear, that's not a good place to start something like this."
She nods slowly, looking down at their hands. "You're right." "I usually am," he says, and she laughs despite herself, the tension in the car loosening slightly. He squeezes her hand once. "Let's make a deal. We enjoy the rest of this honeymoon, we go home, we see a doctor together and we know what we're actually working with. Then we have the real conversation."
"And if everything is fine?" "Then we decide what we want, not what we originally planned." He looks at her steadily. "Plans change. That's allowed." She's quiet for a moment, and he lets her be, the way he always does when she needs to sit with something before she can respond to it properly.Â
"Okay," she says finally, "Okay," he repeats, and brings her hand up briefly, pressing his lips to her knuckles in that quiet way of his that says more than most people manage with full sentences. "Now can we please go to bed, my legs are still dead from that hike"
Hawaii is long forgotten the second they get busy with their lives, the professional ones they'd set aside for a while. It happens quickly the way it always does, ___ with a string of artist trips planned, Yoongi and the members deep in the final stretch of the album. Two months pass and the memory of salt water and nowhere to be becomes something distant and warm, the kind of thing you reach for briefly before the next schedule pulls you forward.
Yoongi sits in the conference room, the album played back so many times now that he hears it in his sleep. They're close, a few decisions away from done, which somehow makes the disagreements harder.
"Love Song should be the title," Hoseok says, with the conviction of someone who has been saying this for three days. "It's the kind of song that pulls people in immediately."
Jimin nods. Namjoon and Yoongi say nothing, which in this room means they're thinking something different and choosing the right moment to say it.
"The intro is too soft for a title track," Namjoon starts carefully. "That's the point-" Hoseok begins. Yoongi's phone lights up on the table. He glances at it, ___. He picks up without excusing himself from the conversation, which the members clock immediately. "Hey, you land?"
Her voice on the other end is wrong. Too quiet, slightly unsteady, the particular quality it gets when she's running on no sleep and something else she hasn't named yet. "I'm outside. I know you're in a session, I just, can I come up for a few minutes? I just need to be there with you."
âOf course, where are you?â Yoongi asks, trying his best to manage his sudden panic, there are knocks on the door before ___ can answer. Mr Shin and her standing on the other side, Yoongi is across the room before anyone says anything. She lets out a long breath the second he reaches her, like she'd been holding it since Hong Kong. He takes the carry on from her without a word, his other hand finding the small of her back, steering her gently inside.
"Sorry," she says quietly, to the room, to no one specifically, her voice still not entirely even. âCan we talk, just us, weâll only be a few minutesâ ___ tells the members who nod rapidly with support. Yoongi just shuts the door behind them as he leads them to their studio.Â
âBaby whatâs wrong? Youâre scaring meâ he mutters as the door to his studio shuts, finally just them in his dimly lit studio. "I don't think it's wrong, I just," she stops, pressing her hands together, "I needed you to be here when I, oh god." She laughs, slightly hysterical, pacing the small room in a way that tells him her brain has been going like this since somewhere over the Pacific.
"Hey." He steps in front of her, stopping the pacing simply by being in the way. "Whatever it is, just say it." She looks at him, then at her carry on, then back at him. "I might be pregnant." The words come out in a rush. "I picked up tests on the way here because I needed you to be there when I took them and I didn't know where else to go and the flight was fourteen hours and I've been sitting with this the whole time and I just-"
"Okay," he says, very quietly, very steadily, she stares at him. "Okay?" "Okay," he says again, and takes her hand. "Where are the tests?" It's quiet in the small studio bathroom, ___ doing what needs to be done and setting the tests by the sink before burying herself in Yoongi's chest, both of them standing in the dim light waiting.
"I was so nauseous the whole time in Hong Kong," she starts, the rambling returning now that the worst of the telling is over. "And my client made a joke, he said maybe you're pregnant, because I couldn't be in the same room as the chicken they'd ordered, and I laughed it off but then I realised I'm three weeks late and I just." She exhales. "I couldn't think straight after that."
Yoongi runs his fingers slowly through her hair, a weak attempt to calm her down that is equally a weak attempt to calm himself down, and she can feel that in the way his hand isn't quite steady. "Three weeks," he says, more to himself than to her.
They stand like that, not looking at the tests, not yet, her face pressed into his shirt and his chin resting on top of her head, the timer on his phone counting down quietly on the edge of the sink. "We had a plan," she mumbles into his chest. "We had a fertility appointment next week for god's sake."
"___," he starts and the timer goes off. Neither of them moves for a second. Then Yoongi pulls back gently, just enough to reach past her, and picks up the test. She watches his face instead of looking herself, the way she has always read difficult information through him first, and she sees it immediately. The particular stillness that comes over him, the jaw shift, the eyes going soft in a way she has only seen a handful of times.
"Yoongi." He looks at her, and his expression does something completely unguarded, something she doesn't have a word for yet, the look of a man whose entire chest has just quietly rearranged itself. He turns the test toward her.
Three positive tests, ___ stares at it for a long moment. Then her eyes fill, fast and immediate, and she doesn't try to stop them. "Oh," she says softly, which is the only word that comes.
He pulls her back in without saying anything, his arms wrapping around her fully, and she feels him press his lips to the top of her head and stay there, breathing slowly, his whole body exhaling something enormous and quiet into her hair.
"Oh my god, can we get an emergency sonogram, should we call Sunhee-" she starts, pulling back, the shock giving way to the part of her brain that needs to do something immediately.
"Hey." His hands come up to her face, gentle and certain, tilting it up toward his. "Breathe first." "I am breathing-" His thumbs brush along her jaw, and she feels some of the frantic energy in her chest settle slightly under his hands. "We can call Sunhee. We can get a sonogram. We can do all of it." He looks at her steadily. "But first just, be here for a second."
She looks at him, really looks at him, and sees it again, that quiet undone expression from when he turned the test toward her. "Are you happy?" she asks softly, because she needs to hear it plainly.
He lets out a long breath, the kind that carries something too large for a single exhale. "I'm terrified," he says honestly. Then, quieter, "I'm so happy I don't know what to do with it. I love you, every day more somehow."
"Okay," she says, her voice catching, "because I love you too, I just, I can't believe I'm..." she stops, laughs softly at herself for not being able to finish the sentence, the word still too large to say out loud in this small bathroom. "We're going to be parents."
"We are," he says, like he's trying it out, seeing how it sits, "You're going to be a dad." Something shifts in his expression at that, something she files away carefully, the particular look of a man genuinely blindsided by his own feelings. "Yoongi."
"Give me a second," he says quietly, which is the most honest thing he could say as he gets very emotional, the more he think, the more he spirals internally, "We need to get you home. Did you drink coffee today? Can you drink coffee? Oh god, did you eat enough protein on the flight, airline food has no-"
"Yoongi." "The carry on, I'll take the carry on, you shouldn't be-" "I just found out thirty seconds ago, I think I can still carry my own bag-" "You've been carrying it since Hong Kong, that's hours, that's not-" He stops himself, runs a hand through his hair, exhales slowly.Â
She watches him do it with the expression of someone trying very hard not to find this completely adorable. "Sorry," he says. "I'm spiraling." "A little bit," she agrees kindly.
"I just need to." He gestures vaguely at nothing. "Do something." "I know." She takes his hand, steadying him the way he steadied her few minutes ago, the two of them taking turns at it. "Iâll call Sunhee first. She'll tell us exactly what we need to do and in what order and it'll give your brain something to work with."
He nods, already reaching for her again, itâs been a heavy couple minutes but he can find a second to kiss her, his eyes brimming with tears almost immediately. She reaches up and wipes carefully beneath his eye with her thumb, and he lets her, which is how she knows exactly how undone he actually is. "We're going to be okay," she says quietly.
"I know," he says. "I know we are." He exhales slowly, pressing one careful kiss to her forehead, then straightens, collecting himself with visible effort. "Call Sunhee."
"Twins?" Jimin, Namjoon and Hoseok exclaim in unison as Yoongi finishes rambling, the three of them staring at him from across the studio sofa with varying degrees of shock on their faces.
They'd had the first sonogram that morning. Sunhee had pulled strings, gotten them in quickly, held ___'s hand through the initial panic and then looked at the screen with the particular stillness of a doctor trying to stay professional about something that is not professionally neutral. "So," she'd said carefully, "there are two heartbeats"
___ had gone completely silent. Yoongi had said what three times before Sunhee showed them both. "Twins," Jimin repeats, slower this time, like the word needs a second pass. "A month along, both healthy, and yes, twins," Yoongi confirms, running a hand through his hair.Â
"And I couldn't freak out because ___ was already freaking out and someone had to be reasonable and I was reasonable for two hours and now I need to not be reasonable for a few minutes."
"Two children, Namjoon. Two, at once, in Seoul, with our apartment, the studio visits she has planned through spring, our album rollout-" He stops. "I need to call my accountant."
"You don't need an accountant, you need to breathe," Hoseok says. "I need both." Yoongi sits down heavily on the sofa. The members are quiet for a moment, looking at him with the collective expression of people who are extremely happy for someone and are also watching that someone have a mild crisis in real time.
Jimin puts a hand on his shoulder. "Hyung." "What." "Twins," he says, and smiles so widely it takes up most of his face. "You're going to have twins."
Yoongi looks at him for a long second. Something in his expression cracks open slightly, the panic giving way to something underneath it that has been there since the sonogram, since he saw two heartbeats on a screen in a small room with his wife gripping his hand hard enough to lose circulation.Â
"Where is ___?" Hoseok asks, handing him a bottle of water.
"At the office cancelling her upcoming work trips because apparently she can't fly right now and Sunhee broke that news with very little warning and ___ took it better than I expected which actually worried me more." He uncaps the water, takes a long sip. "Where is Jin hyung? He has children, he's done this, he knows the order of operations. Do I need to set up two separate trusts? Is that something I do now? Are they individual trusts or-"
"Hyung," Namjoon says carefully. "I'm just asking." "You're spiraling and financial planning." "That's not what I'm-" He stops and exhales. "That might be what I'm doing." Jimin takes the water bottle from him gently before he crushes it. "Jin hyung is in Jeju until Thursday," Hoseok offers. "But I can call him."
"Call him," Yoongi says immediately. "You also have google," Namjoon notes. "I've been googling since the sonogram and that was a mistake, do not google twins pregnancy complications, I'm begging you, I made that mistake for the both of us already." this only makes the spiral worse and Jimin softly kicks Namjoon for that.
"Okay," Jimin says, redirecting with the practiced ease of someone who has been managing this particular human for over a decade. "We have the photoshoot tomorrow morning. So how about until then you go home to your wife and actually take care of her instead of sitting here catastrophizing at us?"
Yoongi looks at him. Then at the others. Then at his phone which Jimin still hasn't given back. "She said she was fine," he says, but he's already standing.Â
"Go home hyung," all three of them say, in varying tones but with identical intention. He goes, pausing only to take his phone back from Jimin, who releases it with the expression of someone making a calculated decision. Yoongi is halfway down the hall when he turns back briefly. "Don't tell anyone."
"Obviously," Jimin says. "Not even Taehyung-" "Go home," Jimin says, pointing toward the exit with great finality, and Yoongi goes.
Yoongi does return home, with groceries that heâs gotten approved by Sunhee, itâs going to be a busy nine months for Sunhee as well. He swipes through his phone, calling her and it rings inside their bedroom.Â
___ is deep asleep, her breathing evening out as she stays still, Yoongi noticing his shirt she chose right away. He tiptoes around the room, and gets into bed beside her with the careful movements of someone trying not to disturb anything. She stirs anyway, turning toward him automatically the way she always does, her eyes barely open.
"You came home," she murmurs. "Jimin kicked me out," he says, and pulls her in gently, her back to his chest, his arm settling warm around her middle, careful, more deliberate than usual. She notices, of course she notices.
"I went on the internet and with twins I'm going to get so massive honey, like the pictures I saw-" "I think for the sake of this pregnancy we should both abstain from googling anything and just bother Sunhee directly," he says, and she laughs despite herself, the sound still slightly frayed at the edges from the day.
"For now we just need to focus on you being happy and healthy. Now that you're up, should I make you dinner? From today, lots of folic acid, iron rich foods, actual protein, no more freeballing with meals-â but all I want right now is a cheeseburgerâ ___ mutters and almost immediately the arms around her are gone.Â
âIâm going to make one, well two, three? As many as you wantâ
âHow do we tell our parents? Our dadâs are going to be chill, but the momâsâ ___ is huddled over a counter with a massive blanket while Yoongi eats, she has no heart to tell him thatâs sheâs losing her appetite by the second.Â
âI donât know, I am scared of what theyâd doâ Yoongi talks distractedly as he hands her a glass of water. ___ pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders, looking down at the glass of water, then back up at him. She should tell him about the appetite situation. She will, in a minute. "Should we tell them together? Separately? Do we call or do it in person?"
"In person," Yoongi says immediately. "Definitely in person. My parents would never forgive a phone call for something like this." "So we have them over."
"Together or separately?" he asks, which is a real question because both options carry significant risk.
They look at each other, "Separately," they say at the same time, which means they've both already imagined what the two mothers in the same room simultaneously receiving this information would look like and have made a sensible decision.
"I think we call your parents for lunch, give them the news and then immediately schedule my parents for dinner so there's no gap, because whoever finds out first is not going to sit on it for more than twenty minutes," ___ says, with the certainty of someone who knows exactly which mothers she is dealing with.
"That's smart," Yoongi says, plating the burgers with carrot sticks and celery alongside because fries would be pushing it, day one and all.Â
She pulls the plate toward her, picks up the burger and takes one bite and then sets it back down, which he notices immediately but says nothing about, just slides the glass of water closer to her hand. "Is this what having twins is like, making sure each feels loved and constantly-" she stops, gesturing vaguely at nothing, trying to locate the end of the sentence.
"Equally attended to?" Yoongi offers, "Yes."Â
Yoongi goes away for work in the ninth month, a single schedule he'd specifically asked to be kept clear, one that got filled anyway with the particular inevitability of things that happen despite everyone's best intentions. He's in the car from the airport now, Jimin beside him, the message from Sunhee sitting open on his phone.
"Hyung, you're going white," Jimin says. "We're almost there." "I know." Yoongi presses his hand against his forehead, elbow on the window, trying to breathe with some regularity. His leg won't stop moving. "I know, I just, I specifically asked for January to be clear, I said it in every single planning meeting-"
"I know." "I was very clear" "You were," Jimin agrees, with the tone of someone who is going to say whatever keeps this man functional for the next twenty minutes.
The hospital corridor is busy in the contained way hospitals always are, and Yoongi moves through it too quickly, Jimin half jogging to keep up. He follows the directions Sunhee sent, rounds the corner toward the right wing, already bracing himself, already trying to locate some version of calm he can walk in with.
He pushes open the door and to his surprise ___ is watching something on the television mounted to the wall, blanket pulled up, expression entirely unbothered. Both mothers are seated quietly on either side of the room, hands folded, posture suggesting they have been gently but firmly told to stay calm and are doing their best.
âHoney? I thought your water broke, why are you still here?â Yoongi asks as he comes closer, doing his best to detect any signs of discomfort. "Because I'm not dilated enough yet, we still have a few hours-" she says, which is when both fathers walk in behind Yoongi, carrying the collective anxiety he'd brought through the door and then some.
"We got you ice chips, coconut water, a banana and a yoghurt," Mr. Lee announces, setting everything down on the bedside table with great care. "There's also fruit available at the nurses station, oatmeal, applesauce," Mr. Min adds, slightly breathless, "and the nurse mentioned popsicles, she said you can have a popsicle, what flavour would you like, I'll go back-"
"Dads," ___ says, addressing all three of them with the calm authority of someone who has been managing people's emotions through her own discomfort for several hours already. "If I need anything I will ask you. There is no need for any of you to be panicking. I am the one who is going to be pushing two children out of me, so I am going to need some peace and zen in this room, please."Â
The fathers migrate to the sofa with the quiet compliance of men who have been correctly identified and redirected, and Jimin finally steps forward from where he's been wisely staying out of it near the door.
"You're going to be running that household with an iron grip, aren't you," he says, and Yoongi laughs despite himself, still slightly pink from the reprimand. "Someone has to," ___ says pleasantly.
"Fair enough." Jimin leans down and kisses her cheek. "Good luck with the pushing." He straightens, considering something. "Should I go find Sunhee and flirt with her a little, make sure she's in a good mood for the delivery? I feel like I should contribute something to this situation." He's already moving toward the door. "You know what, I'm going to find her anyway."
"Jimin come back here," ___ says, modulating between wanting to raise her voice and maintaining the zen she just instructed everyone else to have. Jimin comes back, to his credit, with the expression of someone who knows he's walked into something.
"You and Sunhee and your little situation," she continues, keeping her voice low and even, which is somehow more effective than if she'd raised it. "Having your fun, hooking up with my best friend and thinking she's not going to give me every single detail."
"She tells you things?" Jimin asks, with genuine alarm. "She tells me everything, Jimin, we've been friends for twenty years." Yoongi is very glad he is holding her hand and not standing where Jimin is standing. "I'd say it's more than just fun-" Jimin starts carefully.
"Then ask her to be your girlfriend," ___ says, the instruction delivered with the same calm authority she used on the fathers few minutes ago. "You either ask her properly or you leave her alone entirely. No more avoiding your feelings and having-" she lowers her voice another register, acutely aware of the four parents seated six feet away on the sofa, "-crazy sex behind our backs while she pretends she's fine with the arrangement."
Jimin opens his mouth. "I thought we were just, it's not an arrangement exactly, it's more like we have the sex without the dinner part that usually comes before it," he says, and even as the words leave his mouth the realization is visibly arriving, crossing his face in slow stages like a weather system moving in.
"Jimin," ___ says patiently. "That's," he stops, "That's just dating but worse isn't it." "That's just dating but worse," she confirms. Yoongi looks at the ceiling with the expression of a man choosing not to be involved in this at all, which is the correct choice and he knows it.
"Today?" Jimin asks finally, gesturing at the general situation, the hospital room, the monitors, the parents on the sofa. "What better day," ___ says. "I'm literally bringing new life into the world, it's a very good omen." She settles back against her pillow with great finality.
"Jimin, do the right thing," ___ says, with the particular finality of someone closing a topic. "Or I will call your mother and I will have some very strong words to share with her. I do not care that you're a multi millionaire BTS member."
"Yes ma'am," Jimin says immediately, with the energy of someone who believes this threat completely and has no interest in testing it. He's out the door before anyone can say anything further.
Yoongi watches her with the expression he gets when she's done something that he finds both slightly alarming and deeply attractive and doesn't know what to do with that information given the current setting. "Now," she says, taking a sip, "is Jungkook downstairs or not, because his ex called me a week ago and I have things to say to him."
From the sofa, both mothers look up with identical interest. "Absolutely not," Yoongi says, "you are not mediating Jungkook's relationship situation while you are in active labour."
"I'm in early labour, there's a difference, I have hours-" A contraction moves through her then, quiet but visible, her hand tightening around his. She breathes through it steadily. "Okay," she concedes quietly. "Jungkook can wait." "Thank you," Yoongi says, and doesn't let go of her hand.Â
Their new home is swarming with people, the kind of warm chaos that comes from too many people who love each other in a space that is finally big enough to hold them. Yoongi had been quick about the house, once it became clear that their Seoul apartment was not going to survive twins, he'd found the place in nearby within two weeks, which ___ maintains is the fastest he has ever made any decision in his life including proposing.
"This is Jihan," Yoongi emerges into the living room with the particular confidence of a man who has spent three months learning how to carry two babies simultaneously, "and this is Jihee." One on each arm, both of them blinking at the room with the vague suspicion of people who have just woken up somewhere loud.
The room does what rooms do when two very small people enter them, every conversation stops. "Oh my god," Jimin says, from the sofa, already standing. "They're so tiny," Hoseok says, which earns him a look from ___, who appears from behind Yoongi looking like someone who has not slept properly in three months but has made her peace with it.
"They were smaller," ___ shares with a soft look in her eyes. "Can I-" Jimin is already crossing the room with his hands out, the question mostly rhetorical. "Wash your hands first," Yoongi and ___ say at the same time, without looking at each other, with the synchronized exhaustion of two people who have been saying this to every person who has come within three feet of their children for months.
Jimin goes to wash his hands. Taehyung is already behind him, then Hoseok, a quiet orderly queue forming with surprising efficiency given the general chaos of the evening.
Jungkook hangs back slightly, watching Jihan in Yoongi's arm with an expression that is doing several things at once. "Hyung," he says quietly. "He looks like you."
Yoongi looks down at his son. "You think?" "Around the eyes," Jungkook says, and something in his voice is soft in a way he's not trying to manage.
"Jihee has his frown," ___ adds from beside him, accepting Jihee back from Yoongi's arm and settling her against her chest with the ease of something practiced. "She's had it since day one. The nurses thought something was wrong. She just looked annoyed."
"She was annoyed," Yoongi says. "She came out second." The twins are eventually passed to the grandfathers, the two people who other than their parents can hold them without either of them immediately deciding the situation is unacceptable.Â
"How are you two holding up?" Namjoon asks, dropping onto the sofa beside them. "Twins haven't broken you yet?" ___ looks at Yoongi, Yoongi looks at ___. The look lasts approximately one second too long. Namjoon reads this immediately. The couple might have gotten into a big argument about something insignificant right before the guests arrived.Â
"Well I clearly touched an open wound," Namjoon says, rubbing the back of his neck. "We've been fighting more," ___ says, because she's never seen the point in being anything other than direct with Namjoon. "It's a lot more work than we expected. And not just a lot more, twice as much. Twice everything."
"Twice the feeds, twice the crying, twice the not sleeping" Yoongi adds. "We haven't slept properly in three months," ___ says, and the way she says it is very calm and also contains the entirety of what three months of not sleeping properly actually feels like.
Namjoon is quiet for a moment, which is the right instinct. "I'm not going to offer solutions because I genuinely don't know what this is like," he says, standing. "But talk to Jin hyung at some point tonight. He's done this." He looks between them once more with the expression of someone who loves them and knows when to leave well enough alone. "Now I'm going to go meet my niece and nephew."
"Wash your hands," they both say. "I know," he says, already heading toward the kitchen. ___ watches him go and then lets the sofa hold her for a moment, the party moving around them, voices and laughter and the particular warmth of a house full of people who showed up. Yoongi is still beside her, shoulder against hers, neither of them moving.
"We should talk about this morning," he says quietly as he brings his arm around her shoulder, bring her closer, "We should," she agrees as she folds up her feet and leans against his chest.Â
Neither of them starts immediately, across the room Mr. Min is now showing Jihee the window with the same enthusiasm Mr. Lee had shown Jihan the ceiling light earlier, and Jihee is tolerating this with the expression she was born with, vaguely unimpressed, entirely her father's daughter.
"I know you said no full time help," Yoongi says quietly, his eyes fighting sleep and losing slightly, "but we need a nanny. I feel like we haven't had a single moment that's just us since they arrived." She doesn't argue, which tells him she's already been thinking the same thing and was waiting for one of them to say it first.
"And," he continues, quieter now, the party noise covering them adequately, "we haven't had sex since they arrived and I know you don't feel like yourself right now, I know that." He pauses, choosing the words carefully the way he does when something matters. "But you grew two human beings and then pushed them both out and I need you to know that is genuinely the most incredible thing I've ever watched anyone do. You have never been less attractive to me than you think you are right now."
She's quiet for a moment. He watches her process it, the particular way she receives a compliment she actually needed, not deflecting it immediately, just sitting with it. "That was a very long way of calling me sexy," she says finally.
"I was being thorough," he says, "because I really, really need to have sex with my wife." He adds the last part quietly enough that it stays between them, his head dropping to rest on top of hers. She laughs, soft and genuine, the first one that's reached her eyes all evening. "We should get a nanny," she says. "We're so fixated on doing everything ourselves that we're not taking care of each other at all."
She pulls the blanket from the back of the sofa over both of them without ceremony. "I thought it meant we were failing at being parents" "We're not failing," he says. "We're just two people who had twins and didn't ask for enough help."
"It feels like failure sometimes." "It's not." His hand finds hers under the blanket. "We're doing the most, ___, don't for a second think we're failing." She's quiet for a moment, looking across the room at her father, who has somehow gotten Jihan to sleep against his chest without moving a muscle, wearing the expression of a man who has discovered a superpower.
 "I just thought it would feel more natural by now," she says softly. "Everyone talks about how instinctive it all is and I'm still googling things at 3am and second guessing every decision."
"I googled whether babies can sense tension last week," Yoongi says. She turns to look at him. "What did it say?" "Nothing helpful." She laughs quietly. "My point is," he continues, "we're both doing that. All of it. Together. That's not failing, that's just what this looks like from the inside."
She leans into him a little more, the blanket warm, the party a comfortable noise around them. "I love them so much it's frightening sometimes," she says, almost to herself. "I know," he says. "Me too." His thumb moves slowly over her knuckles. "The frightening part means we care enough. That's not a bad sign."
She doesn't say anything for a moment, just sits with that, letting it settle somewhere it needed to go. Across the room Jihee is being passed carefully from Mrs. Min to Jin, who accepts her with the practiced ease of a man who has done this many times and knows exactly how to hold something this small and this important.
"We're good parents," Yoongi says quietly, like he's deciding it as he says it. "We're good parents," she repeats, trying it out and it doesn't feel like a lie. That's something.
Jihan is about two steps away from a painting when Yoongi swoops in and lifts him with one arm, the motion practiced and swift, the motion of a man who has been doing this for weeks now and has developed genuine reflexes around it. Jihee has his other hand in both of hers, holding on with the particular grip of a child who has decided she is in charge of this situation.
The twins can walk and that is all they want to do. Walk, and touch things, and walk toward things they should not touch. Last week Jihee walked directly across Yoongi's back at seven in the morning because he wouldn't get up, planting each small foot with great deliberateness, entirely unbothered by his protests.
"Okay, listen," Yoongi says, crouching down to Jihan's level while keeping one hand firmly on Jihee's, addressing his ten month old children with complete seriousness. "We need to look put together for mom tonight. This is not our home, so we are not touching anything, we are not walking into anything, and Jihan, specifically, we are not going anywhere near the art."
Jihan looks at him with the expression he was born with, vaguely considering, not yet convinced. "This show is important," Yoongi continues. "Mom worked on this before you two arrived and she's been working on it since and tonight is a big night for her so we are going to be good."
Jihee pats his knee agreeably and Jihan looks back at the painting. "Jihan." Jihan looks at him, the kids do understand what he says, at least to some degree. "No."
It had taken ___ longer to get back to work than she'd planned, longer than she'd wanted, the guilt of it pulling in two directions at once, the wanting to be home and the wanting to be here, in a gallery, doing the thing she spent years building. The show had been pushed twice. She hadn't complained about it once, at least not out loud, though Yoongi had seen it on her face on the difficult days and said nothing, just made sure the coffee was ready and the nanny's schedule was covered.
Tonight the gallery is full and warm and exactly as she'd imagined it, and she is across the room talking to a collector with the particular ease of someone back in their element, and Yoongi watches her from a safe distance with one child on his hip and one attached to his hand and thinks that she looks like herself again, fully, in a way that makes something in his chest loosen with quiet relief.
___ notices the leather jacket right away, the thing that started it all, a flash of memories come back to her as Jihee makes a determined attempt to pull the collar sideways while Yoongi adjusts it back without breaking his conversation with Namjoon.
Something moves through her chest, quiet and enormous. She excuses herself from the collector mid sentence, politely, with the promise of a follow up, and crosses the room. "Hi honey," ___ whispers as she appears at Yoongi's side, Jihan immediately latching onto her leg with both arms, the greeting of a child who has decided this is his preferred anchor point.
"Hi baby," Yoongi's voice is soft as he reaches over and pulls her in for a quick kiss, his lips lingering just above hers, not quite done, until Jihee plants a firm hand on his face and pushes with the casual authority.Â
___ laughs against his mouth. "Are they all sold?" Yoongi asks, pulling back and removing Jihee's hand from his face gently. "Because I wanted to buy the one Jihan kept reaching for earlier. I think he has good taste." "Yoongi, that's a three million dollar painting."
"And our son likes it." "He also likes putting his hands in Tang's water bowl." "His taste is varied," Yoongi says, entirely unbothered. "It's a sign of a complex palate." She looks at him for a moment with the expression she reserves for when he's being completely serious about something she cannot tell if he's joking about. He looks back at her with complete straightness, âWhat? Something to remember the kids first gallery showing?â
Yoongi is a sentimental soft father, he walks the line of spoiling and parenting his children very dangerously, but he strikes the balance somehow. Heâs saved so much so far, ___ wonders whatâs going to happen when they start bringing home hand painted trees.
"I actually asked the artist to commission something for us," she says, and leads him through the gallery to a small rectangular oil painting hung near the back, away from the main collection, slightly apart, like it was always meant to be found rather than displayed.
Yoongi goes still when he sees it. It's his birthday, the artist has captured it exactly, the particular quality of that afternoon light, warm and slightly gold in an oil painting. Jihan on Yoongi's shoulders, both hands gripping his father's hair, Yoongi's hands steady at his ankles. ___ turned up toward Yoongi, Yoongi bent down toward her, mid kiss, neither of them paying attention to anything else. And Jihee in ___âs arms, face completely and without any apparent regret, in the birthday cake.
Yoongi looks at it for a long moment without saying anything. "The artist worked from the photo," ___ says quietly beside him. "I sent it to her in March and it just got ready." He nods once, slowly, still looking. Jihan, from his position attached to ___'s leg, spots the painting and points at it with one finger, recognizing something without having the words for what he's recognizing yet.
"That's you," Yoongi tells him, crouching down. "And that's your sister." He points at Jihee in the cake. "Very accurate." Jihee, as if sensing she is being discussed, looks at the painting and then looks away with something close to a smile.
Yoongi straightens up and looks at ___ and she can see it, the quiet undone expression that he still hasn't learned to hide from her after all this time. "Thank you," he says, and his voice is rough at the edges in a way he's not trying to manage.
"Happy late birthday," she says softly and Yoongi pulls her in with his free arm, careful of Jihan still attached to her leg, and presses a kiss to her temple and stays there for a moment.Â
The house is quiet and warm, which is new. Not the middle of the night quiet, not the held breath quiet of two sleeping children, but a genuine, sustained, mid-morning quiet that stops Yoongi in the hallway for a moment because he can't immediately locate the source of it.
He's been in the US for three weeks. He's jet lagged in the particular way that makes everything slightly unreal at the edges, and he's been moving on autopilot since the airport, the car, the front door. He picks up a small shoe near the entrance automatically, then a stuffed animal from the hallway, then pauses because there are no other sounds. No small feet. No Jihee's running commentary on everything she encounters. No Jihan's focused, determined silence that always means he's doing something he shouldn't.
He checks the living room. The playroom. The kitchen, where there are dishes drying and a half drunk cup of coffee on the counter that has gone cold.Â
He finds ___ in their bedroom, firmly, completely, and entirely asleep. Diagonal across the bed in the way she only sleeps when she has it entirely to herself, one arm over her face, dead to the world. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his hand on her shoulder gently. "Hey."
Nothing, "___." She makes a sound that is not a word and itâs his cue to talk, "Where are the kids?" A long pause settles as ___ tries her best to wake up, barely moving, "My mother picked them up, theyâre going to stay with my parents for the weekend," she says finally, into the pillow.Â
"Why though?" Yoongi asks, crawling into bed beside her. That wakes her up. Not all at once, but enough. She moves the arm from her face and looks at him with the particular stillness of someone confirming they heard correctly. Because it is not like Yoongi to forget things. It is especially not like Yoongi to forget this specific thing.
"Why though," she repeats, very evenly. He looks at her and it clicked almost instantly, he made the entire group move around their schedule just to be back for this weekend, "___-" "No, it's fine," she says, sitting up with great composure, pulling the blanket around herself. "You've been travelling. You're tired. It's completely fine."
"It's our anniversary," he says immediately as he reaches for her, heâs way too tired and jetlagged, he can feel his brain lagging.Â
"Is it?" she asks innocently, not even looking at him as she throws the blanket aside. "Is it our third wedding anniversary that my husband has already forgotten about? I mean, it serves me right for marrying a musician. You're busy making albums, you're on tour, you're flying around the world. Of course that's all much more exciting than remembering your wife."
She swings her legs over the side of the bed with far more dramatics than necessary, making a show of sighing as she stands. "Baby, I am so sorry, it just completely slipped my mind." "Don't 'baby' me, Min Yoongi."
She turns towards him with the most offended expression she can manage, folding her arms tightly across her chest. "Our anniversary, and here I was going around town looking for the perfect gift for you while you probably don't even have anything for me, do you?"
"Oh?" she narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Well, don't you dare tell me you invested in stocks for me again because I will actually try to kill you."
"It was a diversified portfolio." Yoongi adds matter of factly and ___Â stares at him for exactly two seconds before pointing an accusing finger at him. "You see? This is exactly what I'm talking about."
He lets out a tired laugh, rubbing both hands over his face before pushing himself upright, his hair sticking up in every direction, "___, come on," he groans. "I literally moved the entire tour schedule so I could be home this weekend."
He reaches for her again, this time managing to catch the sleeve of her robe before she slips away. "I just forgot for, like, five seconds." Her eyes widen dramatically at that, "Oh," she gasps. "So you do agree that you forgot."
"No, that's not what I..." Yoongi starts, leaning against the bathroom doorframe while she pretends to ignore him, smiling ever so slightly through the mirror as she reaches for her toothbrush.
It takes him another second, "...Holy fucking shit."
"What?" "You were fake mad." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "You were fake mad." He lets out a long breath, pressing a hand against his chest. "I genuinely thought I'd fucked up. I swear to God, for a second I thought you were going to leave me."
She snorts, "It was three minutes." "It felt like a year." He shakes his head dramatically. "The thought of losing you, Jesus Christ, I think I'm having a heart attack." She instinctively takes a step towards him before he ruins it with the smile he can no longer hide.
"Oh my God," she laughs, shoving his shoulder. "You're almost thirty-seven, Yoongi. You can't fake having a heart attack." "Hey, I'm not that old," he mumbles, catching her wrist before she can turn back to the sink. "Besides, I'm in the best shape of my life."
He slips both arms around her waist from behind anyway, pulling her back against him until she relaxes into his chest without thinking twice. His chin finds her shoulder while one hand absentmindedly rubs slow circles against her stomach, the other reaching around her for his toothbrush.
"You really scared me," he admits quietly, his voice softer now, she catches his eyes in the mirror, the teasing disappearing from her face. âI didnât mean to, youâre usually on top of stuff like this so I just wanted to have some funâ ___ muffles with a mouth full of toothpaste.
âI am, and I do have a gift, and itâs not stock, but I did invest some moreâ Yoongi adds and ___ rolls her eyes at the last part, He laughs under his breath before the two of them fall into the comfortable silence of finishing brushing their teeth, shoulders bumping every so often in front of the sink that somehow never felt quite big enough for the both of them.
As soon as she sets her toothbrush down, she barely has a second to react before a pair of familiar hands slides beneath her. "Yoongi!" ___ squeals as he effortlessly lifts her off the floor, one arm hooked beneath her knees, the other around her back.
"What happened to thirty-seven?" he asks, unable to hide the grin spreading across his face and she instinctively loops her arms around his neck, laughing as he adjusts her higher against him.
âHoney your shoulderâ "Darling itâs fine, I've also been looking forward to doing this for three weeks." The confession slips out so casually that she stops laughing. He'd been counting down the days until he'd be home, until he could wake up beside her instead of in another hotel room, until he could hold her without a screen between them.
She smiles, brushing a hand through the messy hair at the back of his head, "I missed you too." "I know." Yoongi answers confidently as he walks them back to the bed.Â
She shakes her head fondly before leaning down the last few inches herself, their lips meeting in an unhurried kiss that tasted faintly of mint and home. He holds her a little tighter, reluctant to put her down now that she is finally back in his arms, and when they eventually pull apart, he rests his forehead against hers for a moment longer.
"Happy anniversary, I love you so so much" he whispers against her lips, ___ smiles, her thumb brushing over his cheek. "Happy anniversary, I love you so so so much too"
âOh this is also a special concert for me because itâs my childrenâs first BTS concertâ Yoongi shares softly and the crowd erupts into cheers immediately. âThey're wearing those tiny protective headphones,â Jimin adds from beside him, unable to hide his grin. âThe twins are ridiculously cute.â
âThey are,â Yoongi agrees immediately. The other members burst out laughing at how quickly he answers. âI think we're all really grateful that we're still doing this,â he continues, looking out across the crowd. âObviously it's not as extensive as it was when we were younger. We all have different priorities now. Most of us have spouses, some of us have children, and we've built lives outside of this.â
Several members nod, âBut being able to come back here, stand on stage together and still see all of you after all these years...â He pauses, glancing at the members beside him. âIt's something I don't think any of us take for granted.â The crowd cheers loudly and he takes a deep breath as his eyes look around for his family, they should be up there in the box.
âAs Yoongi hyung said, weâre glad to be back, we hope Army loves our new album and we hope you enjoyed the tour, letâs start with the last song!â Namjoon yells the last part as the rest of the group spreads out, singing and greeting the fans.
The final bows take longer than expected. By the time BTS finally disappears backstage, the stadium is still buzzing with energy, thousands of fans slowly making their way home.
"Where are ___ and the kids?" Yoongi asks Mr. Shin as they make their way towards the green room, pulling his in-ears free as his eyes instinctively scan the hallway. Before Mr. Shin has the chance to answer, the dressing room door swings open.
Jungkook walks in first with Jihan sitting proudly on his shoulders, tiny protective headphones hanging around his neck while his small fingers remain tangled in Jungkook's curls. Every few seconds he gives another experimental tug, earning nothing more than an exaggerated groan.
"Buddy," Jungkook laughs. "I need at least some of my hair."
Behind them, Jimin walks in with Jihee happily holding onto his pinky finger, the little girl swinging their joined hands between them as she chatted away about something only the two of them seemed to understand.
The moment they spot Yoongi, both twins light up, "Appa!" Jungkook barely has time to crouch before Jihan is scrambling down, Jihee letting go of Jimin's hand just as quickly as they both run towards their father.
Yoongi kneels instinctively, laughing as they collide with him at full speed, the kids are immediately talking about the concert, about the fireworks, their father on stage and Yoongi canât help but laugh, kissing the tops of both their heads before looking around the room.
"Where's your mother?" â___, Sunhee and Ara have been gossiping for the last ten minutes and keep telling shut up to each other every two minutes, why is it making me nervousâ Jimin shares as his eyes dart outside the room.
Almost as if summoned, the sound of laughter carries down the hallway before ___ appears around the corner beside Sunhee and Ara, the three of them still completely engrossed in their conversation.
"I'm telling you," Sunhee says between laughs, "he absolutely knew." "He did not," Ara argues. "He did." "He didn't." ___ shakes her head, "You two are impossible." Only then do they realize they've reached the dressing room.Â
"There they are," Taehyung says, throwing his hands into the air. "The gossip club has finally arrived." "We heard that," Sunhee replies as she finally gives Jimin the kiss heâs been looking for, they need to stop fighting before concerts
"I wanted you to." Taehyung replies as he gags to the camera, playing it up for the documentary camera.
Ara laughs, shaking her head as she walks over to Jungkook while ___ makes a beeline for Yoongi and the twins, immediately crouching beside them.
"Did you two behave?" she asks, smoothing Jihan's hair where the headphones had flattened it before straightening Jihee's hoodie. The twins nod at the exact same time, both staring up at their mother with matching wide eyes that almost always meant they were trying to look especially convincing. They might have been four now, talking from sunrise until long after bedtime and insisting they are "big kids," but standing in front of their mother like this, they still looked impossibly small.
"They were perfect," Jimin says proudly, an arm settling comfortably around Sunhee's waist. "Honestly, I think they were better behaved than Jungkook." "I heard that," Jungkook replies, feigning offence.
Before the argument has a chance to grow legs, Namjoon claps his hands together. "Okay, before we find something else to argue about, can we please get dinner?" he asks, already reaching for his jacket. "I am starving."
"You say that after every concert," Jin laughs. "And every concert, I'm right." No one argues with that.
The group slowly begins filtering out of the green room, managers discussing reservations while the members naturally slip back into conversations that had been continuing for years. The documentary crew follows a respectful distance behind, cameras still rolling as they capture the end of another tour.
The second the twins hear the word dinner, they're gone. "Race you!" Jihan yells before taking off down the hallway, Jihee squealing as she immediately chases after him.
"Hey!" ___ calls after them. "No running!" Neither child even pretends to slow down, "They're definitely sugar high," Yoongi says, watching them disappear around the corner. Jungkook raises both hands innocently.
Their eyes stay on the kids till Namjoon is holding each twins hand, âHey, remember your first BTS concert?â Yoongi asks as his hand comes around her, practically walking out as he hugs his wife, the documentary crew still filming them from a few steps behind.
â2019-â âNo ___, the one that I invited you toâ he whines and ___ laughs out loud, âMy second bts concert, I was tired and had a massive crush on a cute manâ She glances up at him, the corners of her mouth lifting.Â
âThe same man you asked out on a date as an experiment, god ___ you really had a massive crush on me didnât you?â Yoongi teases and ___ chuckles sarcastically, âOh I was the one that was down bad? You were the one who texted me asking about a jacket, you didnât even have any movesâ
âOh I had moves, my move was to invite you to a BTS concert," he repeats with charming overconfidence. "Then I sat back and watched you fall hopelessly in love with me." She laughs so hard she has to lean into him, his arm instinctively tightening around her waist to keep her close.Â
"So..." she says, looking up at him. "Mission successful?" "Oh, very much so." He answers without hesitation, "I won." She shakes her head, still smiling.
"You are unbelievably full of yourself." "And yet..." Yoongi cups ___âs face with one hand, brushing his thumb across her cheek before leaning down to kiss her.
It isn't hurried or dramatic.It's the kind of kiss that comes after years of shared mornings, long tours, quiet nights, anniversaries, children, arguments they never remembered, and choosing each other every single day in between.
When they finally pull apart, he rests his forehead against hers with the same smile he'd worn the first time she'd ever looked at him like that. "I'd still invite you to that concert," he murmurs. "I know."Â
"I'd still ask about the jacket." She laughs softly. "I know." "And I'd still fall in love with you." For just a second, neither of them says anything.
"Appa," Jihan groans from beside the car, "we are hungry" Jihee nods seriously and ___ bursts into laughter as Yoongi sighs dramatically, finally pulling away.
"See?" he mutters. "No respect." "You've raised honest children." Yoongi smiles, reaching for ___âs hand one last time before opening the car door for her. "I suppose that's another mission accomplished."
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that IS my man indeed.
mine â seo changbin âââââââ
⤡ part of the weight of love: eight ways to STAY series
[ ⸠] â eunchae has never doubted that she belongs with you and changbin, not until your unexpected pregnancy begins to change the shape of the family she has always known. as excitement builds around the baby, a few careless words leave her wondering whether love can shift, divide, or quietly make room by pushing someone else aside. changbin has no intention of letting his daughter carry that fear alone, especially when she is the one who made him a father in the first place.
[ â ] â 11.8k
[ â ] â marketing!changbin x attorney!reader themes of adoption & infertility mentions of child bullying biggest fan dad DADDY!CHANGBIN graphic & detailed smut fingering pregnant sex bin worships reader legit
long note under the cut!
[ âď¸ ] â what the actual fuck guys. 8/8 completed now. literally bittersweet for me. what an emotional roller coaster i've taken you on. i am not sorry one bit. i really set out to make every imperfect home perfect in its own way, and i really hope i've been able to do that. i don't talk about it very much, especially not on here, but i grew up without a fatherâit was always just me, my mom, and my older brother. my dad came back into my life at 22 and then passed away two years ago before i could truly get to know him. this series is dedicated to the fathers who stayed despite the difficulties and errors. happy belated father's day to them. and for all the kids out there who didn't have the 'perfect' upbringingâwhether that was an absence of both parents/single parent, those who had parents that fought constantly, those whose parents got divorced, those who didn't have parents, those who were raised by other family members for whatever reason...this is for you <3
The first thing Changbin does every morning is check on you.
The second thing he does is check on Eunchae.
It has been that way for years, so steady and familiar that your body knows it before your mind has finished waking up. Before coffee. Before his phone starts buzzing with messages from his team. Before your own inbox collects client updates and court notices and politely worded emails that never feel as polite as they initially sound.
He wakes, grumbles, kisses whatever part of you is closest, then drags himself out of bed with the heroic determination of a man preparing to battle daylight itself.
This morning, his hand finds your stomach before his mouth finds your cheek.
Twenty weeks. You are halfway through a miracle that still feels strange to name.
âThereâs my tiny roommate,â Changbin whispers.
You open one eye. âI thought I was your roommate.â
âYou snore. Youâre my annoying upstairs neighbor.â
âIâm carrying your child.â
âAnd doing beautifully, my love.â He leans down to kiss your belly, then looks up at you with a grin that is far too awake for the hour. âBut also, you kicked me last night.â
âThat was not me.â
âOh, if it was tiny roommate, then itâs fine.â
For years, mornings like this did not belong to you.
Not the hand on your stomach or the whispered nonsense. Not the little stack of pregnancy books on Changbinâs side of the bed, each one marked with colored tabs he insists are yours despite the fact that you have never once purchased a lime-green sticky note in your life.
Doctors had given you words softened at the edges.
Unlikely. Difficult. Very low chance.
They had said them gently and sympathetically. They had said them while you sat too still in cold exam rooms, Changbinâs hand wrapped around yours so tightly your rings pressed into your skin.
Some appointments ended in tears; others ended in silence. Then came Eunchae.
A beautiful one-year-old with round cheeks and curious eyes. A stubborn tuft of hair sticking up at the crown of her head no matter how carefully anyone tried to smooth it down.
You remember the first time the social worker placed her in your arms. You remember being terrified. Not because you doubted your love. But because it arrived so suddenly. One moment, she was a little girl you had only seen in photographs and paperwork. The next, she was your daughter.
Not by blood, but by love, and the quiet certainty that she belonged with you and to you.
Changbin cried before either of you made it to the parking lot.
He still denies it, but the evidence exists in photographs. Eunchae had been small enough to fit comfortably against his chest, clutching the front of his shirt with one tiny hand while he looked at her as if he couldnât quite believe she was real. He kept saying her name under his breath that day. Eunchae. Eunchae. Eunchae. As if practicing a prayer only he had been entrusted with.
You donât remember her first steps because of a video. You remember them because both of you were sitting on the living room floor when it happenedâChangbin holding out both arms while she wobbled forward on soft, uncertain feet. He had cheered so loudly she sat down and cried, offended by his enthusiasm.
You remember the first time she called you Mom. You remember the first time she called him Dad. You remember her first scraped knee, her first favorite song, her first day of preschool, her first fever that kept you and Changbin awake through an entire night while you took turns holding her against your chest.
You remember every version of her.
The baby inside you is not replacing a dream. The baby is joining the family Eunchae help build.
From down the hall, a door creaks. Changbin freezes, lips still near your stomach.
A soft thump follows. Then another.
Then a small voice calls, âDad?â
He straightens immediately, like a soldier hearing a command. âDuty calls.â
âYouâre ridiculous.â
âIâm loved.â
âYouâre ridiculous and loved.â
He points at you while backing toward the bedroom door. âThatâs family life, baby.â
You hear him pad down the hall. A pause. Then Eunchae shrieks with laughter. âDaddy!â
âWhat?â Changbin says. âYou smacked my arm first.â
âYou scared me!â
âI walked around the corner.â
âToo fast!â
âI was walking normally.â
âNo, you were doing your dad walk.â
âMy what?â
âYour dad walk.â
âI have a dad walk?â
âYou do.â
âI thought I was too young for a dad walk.â
âYou make noises when you stand up now,â Eunchae says.
âLow blow.â
You laugh into your pillow, one hand settling over your stomach as the house wakes around you.
By the time you make it downstairs, Eunchae is sitting at the kitchen island with her hair still messy from sleep, wearing a pajama shirt with strawberries on it and socks that donât match. One is yellow. One is purple. Neither bothers her.
Changbin stands at the stove in an apron Eunchae gave him for Fatherâs Day last year. He had worn it so often the letters had started fading.
Thereâs pancake batter on the counter, pancake batter on the stove, and somehow pancake batter on his forearm.
You take in the scene and sigh. âShould I ask?â
âNo,â Eunchae says immediately.
Changbin turns around. âYes. Ask.â
âWhat happened?â
âI was making a heart.â
âYou made Australia,â Eunchae says.
Changbin looks down at the pan. âAustralia deserves love too.â
You cross the kitchen and press a kiss to Eunchaeâs head first. She leans into it without thinking, still focused on the pancake. Then you kiss Changbinâs shoulder because it is the only part of him not currently dusted in flour or batter.
He catches your wrist before you can move away and pulls your hand against his chest.
âGood morning, counselor.â
âYou only call me that when you want something.â
âI want admiration for my pancake art.â
âDenied.â
âBiased judge.â
Eunchae giggles into her orange juice.
At eight years old, she has Changbinâs sense of timing and your ability to detect nonsense from across a room. She is all sharp little observations and big feelings, her heart constantly arriving before the rest of her. She loves art, hates mushrooms, likes soccer because she gets to run, and believes any movie can be improved with singing.
She knows sheâs adopted. Always has. You have never hidden it from her. Never whispered about it behind closed doors, or treated it like a secret waiting to be revealed. It is simply part of her story. One chapterânot the whole book.
Most of her baby photos hang in frames throughout the house. There are pictures of her learning to walk across the living room, pictures of Changbin asleep in a rocking chair with her sprawled across his chest, pictures of birthday cakes and playgrounds and Halloween costumes and the day the adoption was finalized, when she wore a yellow dress and tried to eat the corner of the courthouse pamphlet.
Eunchae doesnât remember a time before you and Changbin. As far as she is concerned, you have always been Mom and Dad.
Which is why, when the fear finally finds its way into her heart, it settles somewhere much deeper than either of you realize.
Changbin slides the strange pancake onto Eunchaeâs plate.
She studies it. âIs it supposed to be the baby?â
âNo,â he says.
âGood.â
âWhy good?â
âIt looks weird.â
He places a hand on his hip. âI wake up early to feed this family and this is the thanks I get.â
Changbin makes her a better pancake on the second try. Not a heart, but close enough that he stands over her shoulder until she agrees itâs pretty enough.
He is still hovering when your phone buzzes beside your plate. You glance down. A message from your sister.
Jisoo: Donât forget Saturday. 2 pm. Mom is already marinating enough meat for a military unit.
You type back a quick reply.
Changbin peers over. âFamily party?â
âMy cousinâs new house.â
He groans. âRight. The housewarming.â
âYou forgot?â
âI remembered partly. Not fully.â
Eunchae looks between you. âAre the twins going?â
âProbably,â you say.
Her face brightens. She likes Changbinâs cousinâs kids because they are close enough in age to play with and chaotic enough to keep her entertained.
Changbin kisses the top of her head. âYou excited?â
âI get to tell everyone about the baby.â
âYouâve already told everyone about the baby.â
âI know.â Eunchae beams. âIâm gonna tell them again.â
Changbin laughs. âFair enough.â
âGrandma cried last time.â
âShe did.â
âAnd Uncle Chan almost dropped his drink.â
âShe did cause a little chaos,â you say.
âA lot of chaos,â Changbin corrects.
Eunchae looks entirely pleased with herself. âIâm gonna do it again.â
âThatâs my daughter.â
You point your fork at him. âDonât encourage her.â
âToo late.â
Eunchae grins and returns to her pancake, already planning her next announcement.
It is easy, in that moment, to believe joy can stay untouched just because it is deserved.
You should know better.
But the kitchen is warm. Changbin is humming off-key at the stove. Eunchae is talking with her mouth full, explaining how she will teach the baby everything important, like how to draw stars properly and why asparagus is suspicious.
So you let yourself have the morning.
You let yourself have the illusion that nothing can reach you here.
The housewarming party happens under a bright sky, in a backyard that looks too small for the number of relatives trying to occupy it.
There are folding tables covered with plastic cloths, trays of food balanced along every surface, children tearing through the grass with the particular energy of kids who have been given juice and no supervision. Uncle Yoo is grilling. Your cousins Seungmin and Junho are arguing about baseball. And your nephew Jeongin brought a speaker and keeps increasing the volume one notch every time an older auntie lowers it.
Changbin is in his element. He drifts from group to group with a bowl of fruit in one hand and Eunchaeâs abandoned sweater in the other, talking to everyone and somehow getting louder with each conversation.
âYouâre going to scare the baby out early,â you mutter as another burst of laughter leaves him.
His eyes widen.
âDonât even joke about that.â
Before you can respond, he places a protective hand over your stomach.
âStay put, okay?â he tells the baby. âWeâve got at least a few more weeks.â
You laugh. âTalking to them already?â
âOf course.â He leans down slightly. âAnd theyâre listening. Right?â
Eunchae skips ahead, then runs back to loop her arms around your waist as much as your growing bump allows.
âCan I go play?â
âShoes stay on,â you tell her.
âI know.â
âStay in the backyard.â
âI know.â
âYouâre eating something before dessert.â
She looks offended. âI know.â
Changbin bends down beside her. âIf anyone offers you a second cupcake before food, what do we say?â
Eunchae considers. âYes?â
âNo.â
âMaybe?â
âNo.â
âAsk Mom?â
Changbin nods. âPerfect.â
You stare at him. âThat is not what we say.â
Changbin shrugs. âI never said I was the strict parent.â
Eunchae laughs and darts off toward the cluster of cousins near the patio.
You watch her go, her ponytail swinging, yellow clips shining in her hair. She looks back once to make sure you are still there. You wave. She waves back, quick and bright, then disappears into the blur of running children.
For the first hour, everything is ordinary.
Relatives touch your belly and congratulate you. They ask how you feel and tell you whether you are carrying high or low with the confidence of people citing peer-reviewed research.
Changbin stays close enough that his hand brushes your back whenever he passes. He gets you water before you ask. Brings you food before you realize you are hungry. Announces to three different people that you are not lifting anything heavier than a napkin, which is humiliating and sweet enough that you forgive him after the second time.
At some point, one of his aunts asks if she can see the ultrasound photo. Changbin produces it instantly from his wallet.
You stare at him. âYou printed one?â
âI printed four.â
âWhy?â
âIn case of emergencies.â
âWhat emergency requires an ultrasound picture?â
He looks genuinely confused by the question.
His aunt coos over the image. Changbin beams as though he personally put that child in youâŚwhich he did.
Across the yard, Eunchae plays tag with the twins and two younger cousins. Her cheeks are flushed. Her laugh carries over the noise, bright and familiar, and Changbin turns automatically at the sound.
He always does. Even mid-sentence. Even mid-bite. Even if twelve people are talking to him. Eunchae laughs and Changbin looks.
Near the dessert table, you find yourself cornered by one of your older relatives, a woman you have met maybe twice and remember mostly because she has the talent of turning compliments into small injuries.
She smiles at your stomach. âYou must be so happy,â she says. âAfter all this time.â
âWe are,â you answer, polite but careful.
âAnd Changbin too, Iâm sure. A real baby of his own.â
The words land with a dull, ugly weight.
For one second, your body goes completely still. Beside you, Changbinâs expression changes so fast it might have been invisible to anyone who didnât know him well. The warmth drops first. Then the smile. Then everything else goes quiet.
You feel him step closer.
âWhat did you say?â he asks.
The woman blinks, perhaps hearing the edge in his voice too late. âI only meant-â
âNo,â he says, not loudly, but firmly enough that nearby conversation thins. âDonât soften it now.â
Your hand finds your stomach, just because you need somewhere to put it.
She clears her throat. âI just meant, after adopting, it must be different to have one thatâs actually-â
âEunchae is my daughter,â Changbin says.
A few heads turn.
He keeps his voice controlled, but there is a heat underneath it you know he is fighting to hold back. Changbin can be loud in happiness, loud in frustration, loud because silence has never suited him for long. But this is different. This is the kind of anger he doesnât waste.
âShe is not practice,â he continues. âShe is not almost. She is not less than this baby.â
The womanâs mouth opens, then closes.
You step in before Changbin says something that will be remembered at every family gathering until the end of time.
âWhat you said was hurtful,â you tell her. Your courtroom voice arrives before you think to summon it, calm and clean and impossible to ignore. âWhether you intended it that way or not, you need to understand that.â
âI didnât mean anything by it.â
âThen be more careful with what you mean next time.â
Changbinâs jaw flexes. You touch his wrist. He looks at you, then toward the yard. âWhereâs Eunchae?â he asks.
You follow his gaze.
At first, you spot only the twins by the patio. Another cousin near the hose. Two little boys chasing each other with sticks they absolutely should not have.
Then you see her. Half-hidden near the side of the house, standing very still.
Your stomach dropsâEunchae is looking at you.
Then one of her cousins calls her name, and she turns away before you can read her face.
âEunchae,â Changbin calls gently.
She does not seem to hear him. Or perhaps she does and she chooses not to. Before either of you can reach her, the twins tug her back toward the yard, and she lets herself be pulled, smaller than she had looked ten minutes ago.
Changbin curses under his breath. âShe heard.â
âMaybe not all of it,â you say, even though the words feel thin.
âShe heard enough.â
You both watch her for the rest of the afternoon.
She plays. She smiles when spoken to. She eats half a hot dog and asks for watermelon. But something in her has shifted just slightly off-center, the way a picture frame can hang crooked enough to bother you even if no one else notices.
When you call her over to sit with you, she comes. When Changbin asks if she wants to help him steal another plate of fruit, she says yes. When he lifts her onto his hip even though she is getting too big for it, she laughs and tells him he is embarrassing. But her hands stay curled in the front of his shirt. Tight.
You notice and so does he.
That night, after you get home, Eunchae falls asleep quickly. Almost too quickly. No sudden urgent question about dolphins, or negotiations for one of your husbandâs famous stories. Just pajamas, teeth, bed, lights out.
Changbin stands in her doorway longer than usual, one shoulder pressed to the frame. From the hallway, you can see the soft glow of her nightlight across his face.
âShe didnât ask about the baby tonight,â he says.
You step up beside him. âI know.â
âShe always asks.â
âI know.â
Inside the room, Eunchae sleeps curled on her side, stuffed rabbit tucked against her chest. Not the same one from when you brought her home. That one sits carefully preserved on a shelf now, too fragile for everyday use. This one is newer, softer, bought by Changbin after the original lost its second ear.
He looks at her with a tenderness so deep it makes your throat ache.
âI wanted to say more,â he admits. âAt the party.â
âI know.â
âI wanted to embarrass her so badly she never came to another family event.â
âShe did that to herself.â
âNot enough.â
You slip your hand into his. His thumb moves over your knuckles.
âWe should talk to Eunchae tomorrow,â you say. âNot corner her. JustâŚopen the door for her.â
Changbin nods, but his eyes stay on her. âOur daughter,â he says quietly, as if answering something no one has asked.
âYes.â
âSheâs our daughter.â
You squeeze his hand. âYes, Binnie.â
He lets out a breath through his nose. Not quite a laugh. Not quite anything else. And when you tug him gently toward your bedroom, he follows.
The house settles into quiet around you. The refrigerator hums downstairs. A car passes outside, headlights sliding briefly across the wall. You change slowly, one hand braced against your lower back because pregnancy has begun introducing small inconveniences with great confidence.
Changbin notices immediately. âBack?â
âA little.â
He comes up behind you, hands careful at your waist. âSit.â
âIâm fine.â
âSit, counselor.â
You raise an eyebrow at him. He points at the edge of the bed, so you sit.
He kneels in front of you and reaches for your foot, easing off one sock, then the other. His hands are warm around your ankle. Broad. Familiar. The same hands that clap too loudly at Eunchaeâs games, that fix broken toys with questionable skill, that hold ultrasound photos like sacred documents.
âDo you think sheâs okay?â he asks.
You look down at him. âNo,â you answer honestly. âBut I think sheâs trying to be.â
His face tightens. âThat makes it worse.â
âI know.â
He rests his forehead against your knee for a moment.
You run your fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face. âWeâll talk to her,â you say. âWeâll keep talking to her. As much as she needs.â
He lifts his head. âWhat if she believes it?â
âShe wonât forever.â
âThatâs not the same as no.â
âNo,â you agree. âIt isnât.â
Changbin closes his eyes for a second, breathing slowly through whatever wants to come out too sharp. When he opens them again, his gaze is gentler. âYou know I love this baby,â he says, hand settling against your stomach. âI already do. So much.â
âI know.â
âBut EunchaeâŚâ His voice thins slightly.
You cup his cheek. âShe made you a dad.â
His eyes shine. He nods once, then leans forward and kisses your stomach, softer than he had that morning. Then he rises, bending to kiss you.
At first, it is just comfort. A familiar press of lips, warm and lingering. But grief and gratitude have always lived close together in your marriage, and tonight they fold into something quieter, something that asks to be held rather than explained.
Changbinâs hand slides to the side of your neck. His thumb brushes beneath your jaw. You lean into him, letting him step between your knees, letting the weight of the day loosen under the steadiness of his touch.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours.
âI love you,â he says.
âI love you too.â
His mouth finds yours again. The kiss starts gentle. Changbin has always kissed you like heâs memorizing youâslow, deliberate, his lips parting against yours with enough pressure to make you lean back just slightly. His tongue touches your lower lip, and you open for him, and the warmth of his mouth floods through you like a sip of wine held too long on the tongue.
His hands move to your shoulders, easing you backward against the pillows propped at the headboard. The shift in position makes your belly rise between youâa round, taut swell that still surprises you when you catch your reflection. Twenty weeks. Halfway to meeting the child that wasnât supposed to exist.
Changbin follows you down, bracing himself on one elbow beside your head, careful not to put weight on your middle. His other hand finds the hem of your sleep shirtâhis, an old gray t-shirt stretched soft with years of washingâand pushes it upward, exposing the firm globe of your stomach.
âLook at you,â he breathes, palm spreading flat over the crest of your belly. His hand is warm, the pressure grounding. âLook at what youâre doing. Growing our baby right here.â
You cover his hand with yours. âIt doesnât feel real yet.â
âI know.â He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then your jaw. âLet me make it feel real.â
The shirt comes off over your head. Changbin tosses it somewhere behind him without looking, his eyes fixed on your body with an intensity that would have made you self-conscious six months ago. Before the pregnancy. Before your breasts grew tender and heavy and your hips widened and your belly rounded into something undeniably fertile.
Now, the way he looks at you makes you feel anything but self-conscious.
âChrist,â he mutters, and the word is reverent. âYour titsââ
His thumb brushes the side of one, feather-light, and you gasp. Theyâve been so sensitive lately that even the drag of fabric hurts, but thisâhis calloused fingertips tracing the underside, the heat of his palm cupping the weightâthis is different. The sensitivity sharpens into something electric, something that arcs straight from your nipples to the space between your legs.
âTheyâve gotten so big,â he says, voice dropping. âSo full. Are they sensitive, baby?â
âYes.â The word comes out breathier than you intended.
âGood.â He lowers his head. âIâll be gentle.â
The first touch of his mouth is barely thereâa whisper of lips against the swell of your breast, the soft skin above where your bra would sit if you were wearing one. He kisses a slow path toward the center, deliberate, patient. By the time his tongue circles your nipple, youâre gripping the sheets.
âChangbinââ
âShh.â His breath is hot and damp against your skin. âLet me. Iâve been wanting to taste you.â
His mouth closes over your nipple, and the wet heat of it pulls a broken sound from your throat. He suckles gentlyâgod, so gently, like youâre something delicate and precious and heâs terrified of breaking you. His tongue strokes the tight peak, and your back arches without permission, pushing more of your breast into his mouth.
He hums against you, a low vibration of approval, and moves to the other side.
âSo beautiful,â he says between kisses, between the slick slide of his tongue. âSo fucking beautiful carrying my baby. You have no idea what it does to me.â
You do have some idea. You can feel it pressing against your thighâthe rigid length of him through his sweatpants, the heat of his arousal. Heâs been hard since he knelt between your legs.
His mouth leaves your breast with a wet sound, and he lifts his head to look at you. His lips are swollen, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. Thereâs a strand of saliva still connecting his lower lip to the damp peak of your nipple, and the sight of it makes your inner muscles clench on nothing.
âI want to make you come first,â he says, and itâs not a question. âWith my fingers. I want to feel you get ready for me.â
His hand skims down the side of your belly, following the curve of your hip to the waistband of your sleep shorts. He hooks his fingers in the elastic and pauses, waiting for your nod before he pulls them down and off.
Now youâre bare beneath himâpregnant and exposed and trembling slightly with anticipation. The lamp on the nightstand casts warm shadows across your skin, highlighting the new stretch marks that have begun to bloom along the lower curve of your belly. You started noticing them last week. Silver-pink lines, delicate as brushstrokes.
Changbin traces one with his fingertip.
âThese,â he says, voice rough with feeling, âare proof of what youâre doing for us. For our family. Theyâre the most beautiful thing Iâve ever seen.â
Your throat tightens. âBinââ
âI mean it.â He meets your eyes, and the sincerity there is almost too much. âEvery change in your body. Every new curve. I love all of it. I love you.â
Before you can respond, his hand slides lower.
His fingers find the thatch of hair between your thighsâneatly trimmed because youâre still vain enough to keep it that way, even though bending over is getting harder every weekâand then dip into the cleft beneath, where youâre already slick and hot and waiting.
âAlready wet for me,â he murmurs approvingly. âYou feel that? How ready you are?â
You feel it. You feel the way his middle finger glides through your folds, spreading moisture upward, circling your clit with a touch so light itâs almost not there. Your hips roll toward his hand involuntarily, seeking more pressure.
âGreedy,â he teases, but his voice is thick. âIâve got you. Iâll give you what you need.â
He settles more comfortably beside you, one leg hooked over yours to keep you open, and his hand works between your thighs with practiced precision. He knows your body better than you do, you think sometimes. Knows exactly how much pressure, exactly which rhythm, exactly when to slide two fingers inside you and curl them forward.
Thatâs what he does nowâtwo fingers sinking into the wet clasp of your body while his thumb circles your clit in slow, steady rotations. The stretch is a sweet ache, a reminder of how long itâs been since you last had him inside you. The nausea of the first trimester made sex difficult, and then there was the exhaustion, and thenâ
âOh,â you gasp, because his fingers have found that spot. The one that makes your vision blur at the edges. âThere, right thereââ
âI know, baby. I know where you need me.â
He works that spot with insistent pressure, his fingers moving in a come-hither motion that makes your thighs tremble. His thumb never stops its lazy circling of your clit, never rushes, never falters. Itâs maddening. Itâs exactly what you need.
âLook at me,â he says. âI want to watch your face when you come.â
You force your eyes openâwhen did you close them?âand meet his gaze. His expression is rapt, almost devotional. A man watching his wife fall apart under his hands. A man who spent years believing heâd never get to do this, never get to watch her belly grow round with his child, never get to see her like this: flushed and panting and so wet the sounds of his fingers moving inside her fill the quiet room.
âYouâre so beautiful,â he says again, and the repetition doesnât diminish it. Each time he says it, it sounds like a new discovery. âSo beautiful with my baby in your belly. Going to make you feel so good. Going to make you come so hard, and then Iâm going to be inside you. Would you like that?â
âYes.â The word is a sob.
âTell me.â
âI want you inside me. I want to feel you. Please, Changbinââ
His fingers press deeper, harder, and his thumb increases its pace on your clit. The dual sensation is overwhelmingâthe internal pressure and the external friction, both building toward something catastrophic.
âThatâs it,â he croons. âThatâs my good girl. Let go for me. Iâve got you.â
The orgasm hits you like a wave of heat. It starts in your core, where his fingers are still moving inside you, and radiates outwardâthrough your belly, down your thighs, up into your chest until your nipples tighten and your breath catches and your back bows off the mattress. A sound tears from your throat, something between a moan and a cry, and Changbinâs free hand comes up to cover your mouth just as you rememberâ
Eunchae is sleeping down the hall.
His palm muffles your cry, and the knowledge that you have to be quiet, that your seven-year-old daughter is just two doors down.
Changbin works you through it, his fingers gentling but not stopping, drawing out the spasms until youâre twitching and oversensitive and pushing weakly at his wrist.
âEnough, enoughââ
He withdraws his fingers with a wet sound that makes you blush even now, after all these years. And then, holding your gaze, he brings those glistening fingers to his mouth and licks them clean.
âI love the way you taste,â he says, and the casual obscenity of it makes your spent cunt clench again. âI could do that all night. Just taste you until you canât remember your own name.â
âLater,â you manage, still breathless. âRight now I want you.â
âYeah?â Heâs already shifting, already reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants. âYou want to ride me?â
You nod. Itâs the best position nowâyou on top, controlling the depth and the speed, making sure he doesnât press too deep and trigger the discomfort that sometimes comes with pregnancy. He learned that from the pregnancy books.
Changbin shucks his sweatpants and boxers in one motion, kicking them off the bed. His cock springs freeâthick and flushed dark at the tip, a bead of moisture already glistening at the slit. Heâs beautiful like this. Heâs always been beautiful, with his muscular body and his sharp jaw and his eyes that can go from playful to intense in a heartbeat, but thereâs something about seeing him aroused, seeing him hard and wanting you, that never gets old.
He lies back against the pillows, settling himself in the center of the bed. His hands reach for you.
âCome here, beautiful.â
You move carefullyâeverything is careful now, with twenty weeks of baby balanced in your bellyâand swing one leg over his hips. The position puts you directly above him, your knees bracketing his waist, your belly a proud curve between you. His cock stands up against his stomach, so close to where youâre wet and open and ready.
âLook at you,â he breathes, and his hands come up to frame your belly, thumbs stroking the taut skin. âLook at you like this. Pregnant and beautiful and about to take me inside you.â
You brace one hand on his chestâthe solid muscle there, the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palmâand reach down with the other to guide him into place. The head of his cock nudges against your entrance, and you both groan at the contact.
âSlowly,â he says, though the tremor in his voice betrays how much he wants to thrust up into you. âTake your time. Whatever feels good.â
You sink down.
The first inch is always the most intenseâthe stretch of your body making room for him, the way he fills you so completely that for a moment you canât breathe. You pause there, letting yourself adjust, and Changbinâs hands tighten on your hips.
âGod,â he grits out. âYou feelâyouâre so tight, so wetââ
âYou made me that way.â You sink another inch, then another, until heâs fully seated inside you and you can feel the press of his pelvis against your clit. âYour fingers, your mouthââ
âIâd do it again right now if I could.â Heâs breathing hard, his chest rising and falling under your palm. âIâd keep you on my mouth all night. But I needed to be inside you. Needed to feel you.â
You start to move.
Itâs a slow rhythm at firstâa rolling of your hips thatâs more grind than ride, keeping him deep inside you while you rock against him. The position puts pressure exactly where you need it, his pubic bone rubbing against your clit with every rotation. Your belly brushes his stomach, and he reaches up to cradle it, his palms warm and reverent on the swell of new life between you.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs. âJust like that. You feel so good. You feel like mine.â
âI am yours.â The words spill out of you, unplanned and utterly true. âAlways. Iâm yours and this baby is yours and everythingââ
His hips buck up, just slightly, just enough to make you gasp.
âSay it again.â
âIâm yours.â
He thrusts up again, harder this time, and you cry out. His hand flies to your mouth againâhabit now, necessityâand muffles the sound.
âQuiet, baby,â he says, and his voice is strained with the effort of holding back. âQuiet, or youâll wake her.â
Changbin thrusts up into you again, and you forget everything but the feeling of him moving inside you, the stretch and slide and fullness of it. Your pace increases, riding him faster now, your thighs burning with the effort. Pregnancy has changed your staminaâyou tire more easilyâbut the pleasure overrides the ache in your muscles.
âYou like that?â His voice is a low growl. âYou like riding my cock?â
âYes.â The word is muffled against his palm. âYes, yesââ
âYouâre so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Look down. Look at yourself. Look at your body taking me.â
You look. You see your bellyâround and taut and dusted with those new stretch marksâand below it, the place where your bodies join. The sight of his cock disappearing into you, slick and glistening, makes your inner muscles clench.
âFuck,â he groans, feeling it. âDo that again.â
You squeeze around him deliberately, a trick you learned years ago that never fails to make him lose his composure. His head falls back against the pillow, throat exposed, and a strangled sound escapes him.
âYouâre going to make me come,â he warns. âIf you keep doing that, Iâm not going to last.â
âThen donât last.â Your voice is hushed, breathless, meant only for him. âI want to feel you come inside me. I want to feel it. I wantââ
His hand leaves your mouth and grips your hip instead, and he begins to thrust up into you in earnest, taking over the rhythm, driving into you from below while you brace yourself on his chest and hold on. The sound of skin against skin fills the room, wet and rhythmic, punctuated by your gasps and his grunts.
âI love you,â he pants. âI love you so much. I love your body, I love this belly, I love what we made togetherââ
âChangbinââ
âCome for me again. One more time. I want to feel you come around me before I fill you up.â
His hand snakes between your bodies, thumb finding your clit with unerring accuracy. He rubs tight circles against the swollen bud, and the combination of his cock inside you and his fingers on you sends you hurtling toward the edge again.
âThatâs it,â he urges. âThatâs my girl. Let go. Iâve got you.â
The second orgasm is sharper than the first. It crashes through you with a suddenness that steals your breath, your vision whiting out at the edges, every muscle in your body tensing and then releasing in waves. You forget to be quiet. The moan that tears from your throat is louder than you intended, and Changbinâs hand is back on your mouth instantly, pressing firmly, muffling the sounds you canât seem to stop making.
He fucks you through it, his thrusts growing erratic as your inner muscles milk him, as the sight of you lost in pleasure pushes him toward his own release.
âGoing to come,â he grits out. âGoing to fill you up, going toââ
His hips slam up one final time and he buries himself deep, his cock pulsing inside you as he spills. The groan he lets out is muffled against your chestâheâs pulled you down, pressed his face between your breasts, and the vibration of his release rumbles against your skin. His hands are everywhere, clutching at your hips, your back, your belly, holding you against him like heâs afraid youâll disappear.
You stay like that for a long moment, both of you panting, both of you trembling with aftershocks. His cock softens inside you but neither of you moves to separate. His face is still pressed between your breasts, his breath warm and damp against your skin.
Morning comes with rain.
Not heavy enough to keep Eunchae from school, but enough to make the windows fog at the edges and the pavement shine dark beneath the tires.
She eats cereal quietly. Too quietly.
Changbin tries three separate times to make her laugh.
First with a banana held to his ear like a phone. Then with a dramatic reading of the cereal box ingredients. Then by pretending to slip on the kitchen mat in a performance so committed you nearly stand up out of concern.
Eunchae smiles at the last one.
You meet Changbinâs eyes over her head. He sees it too.
At the door, he crouches to zip her jacket.
âI can do it,â she says.
âI know.â He zips it anyway, then taps her nose.
She wrinkles it.
âHey,â he says. âYou know you can talk to us about anything, right?â
Her fingers tighten around the strap of her backpack. âI know.â
âAnything,â he repeats.
âI know, Dad.â
Changbin doesnât push. Instead, he kisses her forehead. âHave a good day, princess.â
At school drop-off, she waves before going inside.
The days after the party do not fall apart all at once. They fray.
Eunchae still talks about her classes, but not as much. She still eats dinner, but pushes vegetables around with more concentration than necessary. She still climbs onto the couch beside Changbin during movie night, but she sits with a few inches between them at first, as if testing whether the space will be noticed.
It is.
He stretches his arm along the back of the couch and waits. Ten minutes into the movie, Eunchae leans into his side, and his hand comes down around her.
The nursery becomes another quiet battlefield. Before the party, Eunchae had been excited about it. She wanted yellow curtains. No, green. Actually, clouds. She had drawn six possible wall designs and taped them to the refrigerator. Changbin had treated each one like a client proposal, nodding seriously with his chin in his hand.
Now, when you ask if she wants to help choose a rug, she shrugs. âYou can pick.â
Changbin looks up from the assembly instructions for the crib. The crib is upside down, but he doesnât seem aware of this. âBut you have strong opinions,â he says.
âIt doesnât matter.â
Your fingers pause over the fabric samples.
Changbin sets the instructions down. âIt matters if you care.â
âI donât.â
She says it too quickly. Then she leaves the room.
Changbin stares after her. A screw rolls across the floor and bumps into his knee. He looks down at it. âI hate this crib.â
âYou put the side panel on backward.â
âI hate this crib,â he repeats.
You sit back on your heels, one hand resting on your stomach.
He glances at you. âI know,â he says quietly.
You donât have to tell him what youâre thinking. That is marriage tooâknowing when the other person is afraid.
The bullying begins on a Thursday, but you both have zero clue at first. All you know is that Eunchae comes home with her drawing folder bent at one corner and her mood folded somewhere deeper.
She says she is fine. She says school was fine. She says everything is fine with the exhausted patience of a child who has recently discovered the adult usefulness of the word.
Changbin makes her favorite dinner that night: kimchi fried rice with a fried egg on top. He shapes the rice into a heart on her plate.
She pokes it with her spoon. âThis looks like Australia again.â
He brightens. âSo you admit my pancake had geographical merit.â
âNo.â
He pulls at his collar with a grimace. âTough crowd.â
âAt least sheâs honest.â
Eunchae smiles, but halfway through dinner, she asks to be excused.
Changbinâs smile fades once sheâs gone.
You set your spoon down. âSomething happened.â
âYeah.â
âIâll email her teacher tomorrow.â
âI can call.â
âYou have meetings.â
âI can call between meetings.â
âYou have three back-to-back presentations.â
âI can fake a Wi-Fi issue.â
You give him a look.
He sighs. âFine. You email. Iâll support from a distance. But I want updates.â
The teacher replies the next morning with concern but no clear answers. Eunchae has been quieter, yes. She spent recess near the art room yesterday. No, there has not been any reported conflict. Yes, she will keep an eye out.
It is the kind of email you have written and read in different forms for years. Professional. Kind. Not enough.
You read it twice at your desk between client calls, one hand pressed to the side of your stomach as the baby shifts inside you.
Movement still catches you off guard. A reminder of a life growing inside you.
You close the email and stare at the framed photo beside your computer. Eunchae at six, sitting on Changbinâs shoulders at the zoo, cheeks round with laughter, Changbin pretending to roar below her.
You had taken the picture right before she dropped an ice cream cone on his head. He kept it as his lock screen for six months.
Your phone buzzes.
Changbin: Did teacher answer?
You: Quiet at school. Nothing specific.
Changbin: I donât like nothing specific.
You: Me neither.
Changbin: Should I pick her up today?
You: Itâs my turn.
Changbin: I can come too.
You: To school pickup?
Changbin: Yes.
You: Youâre at work.
Changbin: Minor obstacle.
You stare at the message, smiling despite the worry sitting under your ribs.
You: Stay at work. Weâll talk tonight.
Changbin: I am calm and reasonable.
You: I know.
Changbin: I only refreshed my email 46 times.
You: Very calm.
Changbin: Extremely reasonable.
At pickup, Eunchae is one of the last children to come out.
Usually, she bursts through the doors with her backpack bouncing and three thoughts already spilling out of her mouth. Today, she walks beside another girl from her class. Not close beside her. Just near enough that you notice when the girl says something and Eunchaeâs face changes.
You canât hear the words, but you see the effect. Eunchaeâs shoulders draw in. Her hand tightens around her backpack strap. The girl looks toward you, then away, and disappears toward the pickup line.
âHi, sweetheart,â you say when Eunchae reaches you.
âHi.â
âHow was school?â
âFine.â
There it is again. The little locked door.
You walk to the car together through the thinning rain. Eunchae climbs into the back and buckles herself in before you can ask about her folder, about recess, about the girl who had spoken to her with a smile too sharp for childhood.
At home, she goes straight upstairs.
Changbin comes home twenty minutes later with takeout, flowers, and a small pack of strawberry gummies.
You look at him from the kitchen island. âWhat is all this?â
âSupplies.â
âFor what?â
âI came prepared.â
âYou bought fried chicken.â
âI did.â
Eunchae doesnât come down until you call her twice. She eats half a piece of chicken, three fries, and none of the gummies.
Changbin notices every bite she doesnât take.
You both let the evening pass carefully, as if too much pressure might crack something open before Eunchae is ready.
That night, when you go to tuck her in, she is sitting on the floor beside her bed, looking through an old photo album.
Your heart softens. âCan I sit?â
She nods. You lower yourself carefully beside her. Getting down is no longer graceful at twenty weeks. Getting back up will be a private tragedy.
Eunchae flips a page. There she is as a toddler, sitting on Changbinâs stomach while he lies flat on the living room floor, one hand lifted in surrender. Her little face is triumphant.
âYou were so proud of yourself,â you say.
âI beat Dad.â
âYou did. He still talks about it.â
Her fingers hover over the photo. âWas I heavy?â
You smile. âYou were tiny.â
âBut he said I crushed him.â
âHe was being dramatic.â
âHeâs always dramatic.â
âTrue.â
She turns another page. Her first day of kindergarten. Her cheeks are rounder. Her backpack is almost as big as her body. Changbin is crouched beside her, giving two thumbs up while you wipe tears from under your sunglasses in the background.
Eunchae studies the picture for a long time. âYou cried?â
âA lot.â
âWhy?â
âBecause you were growing up.â
Her face is unreadable. âWere you sad?â
âA little,â you admit. âBut mostly proud.â
She nods then closes the album.
You wait.
Her voice comes out small. âIâm tired.â
There are a dozen things you want to say, but you decide to let her sleep. âOkay.â You push yourself upright with one hand on the bed and the other on your stomach. âDo you want your door open?â
âA little.â
You kiss her forehead. She lets you.
At the doorway, you look back and find her watching you.
âMom?â
âYeah?â
âDid you want a baby before me?â
You turn fully.
Eunchae sits very still under her blanket, only her eyes visible above the edge. You walk back to her bed and sit carefully beside her.
âYes,â you answer, because she deserves honesty. âYour dad and I wanted to be parents for a long time.â
Her eyes drop. You touch the blanket beside her hand, not trapping it, just offering. âBut we wanted you,â you say. âNot a baby that could have been anyone. You, Eunchae.â
She swallows. âThatâs not the same.â
âNo,â you say softly. âItâs better.â
Her eyes flick up. You brush her hair from her forehead. âWanting to be a parent was one thing. Becoming your mom was something else.â
For a moment, she looks younger than eight. Then the moment passes as soon as it arrives. She nods and rolls onto her side. âGoodnight,â she says.
You sit there until her breathing evens out. When you leave the room, Changbin is waiting in the hallway. His face tells you he heard enough.
You close Eunchaeâs door most of the way.
âShe asked if we wanted a baby before her,â you whisper.
Changbinâs eyes close, and his mouth presses into a line.
You step into him because you need to, and he wraps both arms around you, careful of your stomach. His cheek rests against your hair. âI hate that sheâs thinking about this,â he says.
âI know.â
âI hate that sheâs thinking about this alone.â
You close your eyes. Down the hall, Eunchaeâs nightlight glows softly through the crack in her door.
âShe wonât be alone forever,â you tell him. âWe wonât let her.â
On Friday, you leave court early after a morning that feels longer than it has any right to be. Your client cries in the hallway after mediation. You sit with her for ten minutes, one hand on her shoulder, trying not to think about the fact that your own daughter is somewhere across town learning how to hide pain from you.
By the time school lets out, the sky has cleared. You wait near the usual spot with other parents, one hand resting on your stomach while you scan the doors.
Children spill out in clusters. You see Eunchaeâs classmate from yesterday. Then the twins from her art club. Then her teacher, standing near the front doors, talking to another parent.
No Eunchae.
You check the time. Three minutes late. Then five. Then ten.
Your heartbeat starts to climb.
You walk to the teacher, keeping your voice even through years of professional training and twenty weeks of pregnancy.
âHi, Ms. Park. Iâm looking for Eunchae.â
The teacherâs expression shifts. âShe didnât come out?â
âNo.â
âShe was here at dismissal.â Ms. Park looks toward the doors, then back at you. âLet me check the classroom.â
You call Changbin before you even decide to. He answers on the second ring. âHey, whatâs-â
âSheâs not outside.â
Silence. Then his chair scrapes sharply in the background. âWhat do you mean?â
âShe was here at dismissal, but she hasnât come out. Her teacherâs checking.â
âIâm leaving.â
âChangbin.â
âIâm leaving now.â
His voice is already different. Focused.
You press your fingers to the bridge of your nose. âIâm at the school. Iâll call you as soon as I know more.â
âIâm already coming.â
You donât tell him not to. There would be no point.
Ms. Park returns five minutes later with an administrator. Eunchae is not in the classroom. Not in the bathroom. Not in the art room. And her backpack is gone.
Your body goes cold from the inside.
You call her friendâs mother. No, Eunchae isnât there.
You call the twinsâ parent. No, they didnât see her after school.
You call the community center near the school.
No. No. No.
Every answer is small and polite and useless.
Changbin arrives with his tie loosened and his hair disheveled from running his hand through it too many times. He gets out of the car before it is fully settled into the parking space. âAnything?â
You shake your head. His face changes. For one second, you see all the fear he is trying not to show you.
Then he takes your face in both hands. âBreathe,â he says.
âI am.â
âYouâre not.â
âIâm trying.â
âOkay. Then try with me.â
You inhale because he does. Exhale because he does. The baby shifts low in your belly, and your hand presses there automatically.
Changbin sees. âIâm going to look,â he says. âYou stay here with the school.â
âChangbin-â
âI know where she might go.â
You know tooâthe park. The old one. The one ten minutes away by car, longer on foot. The one where Changbin taught her to ride a bike. The one with the faded blue swings and the crooked tree near the basketball court. The one where you had taken photos every year on her adoption day until Eunchae declared at seven that annual photos were too much pressure.
You swallow hard. âCall me the second you know.â
âI will.â His voice softens. âIâm going to find her, okay?â
You nod because you need to believe him.
Then heâs gone.
The minutes after that are some of the longest of your life. You stay at the school because someone has to. Because if Eunchae comes back, someone has to be there. Because your body cannot handle you running through streets calling her name, no matter how badly your heart wants to tear itself out and go looking.
You answer questions. You provide a description of what she is wearing:Â Yellow sweater, light blue jeans, white sneakers with little flowers drawn on the sides in permanent marker, purple backpack, and hair in two braids because Changbin had done them that morning, slightly uneven but made with love.
Your hands shake when you text your sister-in-law. Then your neighbor. Then Eunchaeâs soccer coach.
You are speaking with the school administrator when your phone rings.
Changbin.
You answer so quickly you almost drop it. âDid you find her?â
âI found her.â
Your knees weaken. You grip the edge of the office counter.
âSheâs okay,â he says immediately. âSheâs okay. Sheâs with me.â
Your eyes burn. âWhere?â
âThe park. By the old court.â
You close your eyes. Thank you, you think, to no one and everything. âIs she hurt?â
âNo. Sheâs upset, but sheâs not hurt.â
âPut her on.â
A pause. Then his voice lowers. âBaby, sheâs not ready yet.â
The gentleness of it undoes you more than anything else could. You press a hand over your mouth.
Changbin hears the sound you try to bury. âIâm bringing her home,â he says. âOkay? I have her. Iâm not letting her out of my sight.â
âTell her I love her.â
âI will.â
âTell her Iâm not mad.â
âIâll tell her.â
âAnd tell her-â
âI know,â he says softly. âI know.â
After you hang up, the school office swims slightly in your vision. Ms. Park helps you sit. Someone brings water. You thank them automatically, politely, as if your daughter has not just cracked your chest open from across town.
At the park, Changbin finds Eunchae on the bleachers beside the old basketball court. She is sitting with her backpack between her feet, arms wrapped around herself, staring down at the pavement.
For a moment, he canât move. Relief comes first, so violently it almost knocks the breath out of him. Then fear. Then anger, hot and immediate, rising up the back of his throat.
He wants to scold her. He wants to ask if she has any idea what she has done, how scared you are, how dangerous it is to leave school without telling anyone, how many things could have happened.
He takes one step and Eunchae looks up. Her face is blotchy from crying.
The anger vanishes so quickly it leaves him hollow.
âEunchae,â he says.
Her chin trembles. âIâm sorry.â
He reaches her in three strides and drops to his knees in front of her, hands hovering because he doesnât know whether touching her will make her bolt or break. âAre you hurt?â
She shakes her head.
âDid someone touch you?â
Another shake.
âDid someone follow you?â
âNo.â
Her voice is rough from crying.
Changbin exhales, but it does not steady him much. âYou scared me,â he says.
âI know.â
âYou scared your mom.â
At that, her face crumples. âI didnât mean to.â
âI know, baby.â His voice cracks around the edges. âI know you didnât.â
She wipes her face with her sleeve. He notices the bent corner of her drawing folder sticking out of her backpack. Notices the damp spots on the front of her sweater. Notices the way she is making herself small. Too small.
He sits beside her on the bleachers instead of staying in front of her. For a while, he says nothing.
The park is quiet this time of afternoon. A few cars pass on the street beyond the fence. The swings move slightly in the breeze, chains creaking softly. Somewhere nearby, a dog barks once, then gives up.
Changbin looks at the court. âYou remember learning to ride your bike here?â
Eunchae sniffs. âYou let go.â
âI did not.â
âYou did.â
âI ran beside you.â
âYou let go and then screamed.â
âI screamed encouragement.â
âYou screamed, âOh no, sheâs doing it.ââ
He winces. âBad wording.â
Despite herself, Eunchaeâs mouth twitches.
He holds onto that tiny almost-smile carefully. âYou were so mad at me after.â
âI fell.â
âYou did.â
âYou said falling was part of learning.â
âThat sounds pretty smart.â
The almost-smile disappears. Her hands twist together in her lap.
Changbin waits. His whole body wants to do something. Fix it. Lift her into his arms. Carry her home. Shield her from every careless word ever thrown in her direction.
Instead, he waits.
After a long silence, Eunchae says, âThey said Iâm not your real daughter.â
Changbin goes still. Some part of him knew it had to be about that. The fear had been circling for days, and now it has finally landed between them. âWho said that?â
She shrugs.
âKids at school?â
Her eyes fill again.
He turns slightly toward her. âEunchae.â
âThey said when the baby comes, you wonât need me anymore.â
His chest hurts. Itâs physicalâsharp enough that he has to look away for a second to keep his face steady.
She keeps talking because now that it has started, she cannot stop it. âThey said the baby is actually yours because itâs in Momâs stomach, and I wasnât. And at the party, that lady said it too.â
His hands curl into fists on his knees.
âThey said youâll love the baby more,â she whispers.
Changbin looks at her then. At his daughter. At the baby who learned to walk across his living room. At the toddler who used to fall asleep with one hand tucked under his chin. At the little girl who made him attend a stuffed animal wedding and then scolded him for crying during the vows. At the eight-year-old sitting beside him with a fear too big for her small body.
âDo you believe that?â he asks.
She doesnât answer, but itâs answer enough.
Changbin swallows. âEunchae.â
Her eyes stay on her shoes.
âLook at me, please.â
It takes a moment, but when she finally does, he feels something inside him break cleanly in two. âDo you think a baby changes the day I became your dad?â
Her brows pull together.
He shifts closer, enough that their knees touch. âYou made me a dad,â he says. âYou.â
A tear slips down her cheek. He wipes it gently with his thumb. âBefore you, I didnât know how to pack a diaper bag. I didnât know which lullaby worked when you were tired but fighting sleep. I didnât know how scary a fever could feel at two in the morning. I didnât know I could clap that hard because someone stacked three blocks without knocking them over.â
Her mouth trembles.
âYou donât remember this,â he says. âBut I do. I remember all of it.â
She listens with wet eyes.
âI remember your first steps. I remember your first words. I remember the first time you called me Dad. I almost dropped a bowl of rice all over the carpet.â
A small breath leaves her. Almost a laugh. Almost a sob.
âMom yelled at me about it.â
âShe did?â
âShe said, âSay something back, genius.ââ
Eunchae wipes her nose with her sleeve.
Changbin pretends not to see. âSo I said, âYes?â because apparently that was all my brain could do.â
This time, she does laugh. Tiny. Broken.
He smiles, though his eyes burn. âYou were there for my first Fatherâs Day,â he continues. âYou were there the first time I cried because a preschool teacher said you shared crayons nicely. You were there when I learned that knowing how to do ponytails is a skill.â
âYour ponytails are still bad.â
âThey have improved.â
âTheyâre crooked.â
âJust lean a little and it evens out.â
She looks down again, but this time her shoulder rests against his arm.
He lets out a slow breath. âEunchae, listen to me. There is nothing this baby can take from you. Not your room. Not your place. Not my love. Not Momâs love. Nothing.â
âBut the baby is yours.â
âYou are mine.â
Her face twists.
He turns fully toward her now, voice firm. âYou are my daughter. Not almost. Not pretend. Not because paperwork says so. You are mine because every day of my life says so.â
She starts crying again, and he pulls her into his arms. This time, she goes. Her backpack slides sideways off the bleacher. He ignores it. Eunchae presses her face into his shirt and sobs like she has been holding it in for longer than either of you knew.
Changbin cups the back of her head, rocking her once, twice, not too much because she is eight and already sensitive about being treated like a baby.
âIâm sorry,â she cries.
âYou donât have to be sorry for being scared.â
âI left school.â
âThat part we are going to talk about,â he says, kissing her hair. âBecause you cannot do that. Ever. I mean it, Eunchae. You scared us so much.â
âI know.â
âBut being scared? Being sad? Asking us if youâre still loved?â He pulls back enough to look at her. âYou can always do that.â
She hiccups. âEven if it makes you sad?â
âEspecially then.â
Her fingers clutch his shirt again. âWhat about Mom?â
âShe is worried out of her mind, and she loves you so much she told me to tell you three things in ten seconds.â
âWhat things?â
âThat she loves you. That sheâs not mad. And then she started a third thing, but I said I knew.â
âWhat was it?â
Changbin brushes hair from her damp cheek. âThat youâre ours.â
Eunchaeâs face crumples again. He hugs her until the worst of it passes. Then he picks up her backpack, stands, and holds out his hand.
She takes it.
On the walk back to the car, she stays pressed close to his side. Halfway there, she says, âAre you still mad?â
âYes.â
Her hand stiffens in his. He squeezes gently.
âIâm mad that someone hurt you. Iâm mad that you walked away from school. Iâm mad that you thought you had to be alone with all of this.â He opens the passenger door, then crouches in front of her. âBut I am not mad that you told me.â
She nods.
âAnd Iâm very relieved I found you,â he adds. âBecause if I had to run any farther in these shoes, I would need medical attention.â
She looks at his dress shoes. âYou ran in those?â
âYes.â
âTheyâre ugly.â
âThey are professional and super uncomfortable.â
Changbin helps her into the car. Before he closes the door, she says, âDad?â
âYeah?â
âCan we tell Mom together?â
His heart softens. âYeah, princess. We can tell Mom together.â
When they get home, you are waiting by the door. You try not to rush at her. You fail miserably.
Eunchae barely gets one foot inside before you are kneeling carefully in front of her, pulling her into your arms as best as your stomach allows.
She breaks again the second you touch her. âIâm sorry,â she sobs.
You hold her tighter. âMy baby,â you whisper into her hair. âYou scared me so much.â
âIâm sorry.â
âI know. I know you are.â
Changbin stands behind her, one hand on the door, face drawn with exhaustion and relief. You meet his eyes over Eunchaeâs head.
The three of you end up on the living room floor because Eunchae doesnât want to sit on the couch and you canât bring yourself to let go of her yet. Changbin brings tissues, water, and one of the throw blankets from the basket. Then he sits close enough that his knee presses against yours.
Eunchae tells you everything. She tells you about the comment at the party. About the girl at school who said adopted kids are only family until real kids come. About the boys who laughed when someone said the baby would get her room. About how she stopped wanting to help with the nursery because what if helping made it happen faster.
You listen. Changbin listens. Neither of you interrupts except to ask small questions. When sheâs done, she looks wrung out.
You take her hand. âEunchae,â you say, âI need you to hear me very carefully.â
She watches you.
âThere is no version of this family where you matter less.â
Her lips press together.
âThis baby is not coming because something was missing,â you continue. âYou were never a placeholder. You were never what we settled for. You were the child who made us parents.â
Changbin rubs a hand over his face and looks toward the ceiling. You know why. He is trying not to cry again.
You keep going. âWhen the doctors told me I probably couldnât get pregnant, I was sad. Your dad was sad too. But when we brought you home, that sadness didnât follow us the way it used to. Because we had you.â
Eunchaeâs eyes shine.
âYou were not second best,â you say. âYou were not the almost-family before the real one. You were our family.â
Changbin clears his throat. âAnd for the record,â he says, voice rough, âif someone says otherwise, I will be handling it.â
You glance at him. âCalmly.â
âDefine calmly.â
âWithout threatening anyone.â
He looks at Eunchae and shakes his head slightly. Eunchae lets out a watery laugh.
You smile and squeeze her hand. âWeâll talk to the school,â you tell her. âThe adults need to know what happened.â
Her face falls. âDo I have to tell them?â
âNot alone,â Changbin says immediately.
âAnd not all at once if you donât want to,â you add. âBut they need to help keep you safe.â
She nods, hesitant but listening.
Changbin leans forward, elbows on his knees. âAlso, because you left school without telling anyone, there does have to be a consequence.â
Eunchae groans into the blanket. âI know.â
âNo tablet this weekend.â
Her eyes widen. âThe whole weekend?â
âYes.â
âThatâs forever.â
âIt is two days.â
âThatâs basically forever.â
Changbin nods solemnly. âTime is difficult.â
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.
Eunchae looks at you, betrayed. âMom.â
âI support your father.â
âYouâre a lawyer. Can you object?â
âUnfortunately, his case is strong.â
Changbin pulls you close. âThank you, counselor.â
Eunchae slumps dramatically against your side. After a moment, she whispers, âCan I still sleep in your room tonight?â
Changbinâs answer comes at the same time as yours. âYes.â
âYouâll need entertainment, so I will perform dramatic bedtime stories,â he continues.
âNo voices.â
âI will do voices.â
âNo voices.â
âSome voices.â
âOne voice.â
âTwo.â
âDad.â
âFine. One and a half.â
The school handles the bullying with the kind of careful seriousness that makes you grateful and exhausted at the same time. Meetings are held. Parents are called. Apologies are arranged.
Changbin attends the meeting in a suit, looking every bit the marketing team lead who has won over rooms full of executives, except now his jaw is tight and his hand keeps brushing Eunchaeâs shoulder.
You speak more than he does. You know how to keep your voice calm when you are angry. You know how to ask precise questions. You know how to sit across from adults and make it clear that politeness is not the same as passivity.
Changbin watches you with an expression you recognize.
Later, in the car, he says, âThat was terrifying.â
You look over. âWhat?â
âYou.â
âI was professional.â
âYou destroyed them.â
Eunchae, from the backseat, says, âMom used her lawyer voice.â
Changbin looks in the rearview mirror. âExactly.â
You fight a smile. âNobody was destroyed.â
âThey were dismantled.â
âBinnie.â
âWith class.â
Eunchae giggles.
You keep your eyes on the road, pretending not to notice the way Changbin glows at the sound.
On Saturday morning, Eunchae has a soccer game.
She almost says she doesnât want to go. You can see it hovering around her as she eats toast at the kitchen island, cleats already on, uniform slightly wrinkled because Changbin forgot to take it out of the dryer until twenty minutes before leaving.
He stands behind her, trying to redo one of her braids.
Trying is a generous word.
âDad,â she says, staring at her reflection in the dark microwave door. âItâs lumpy.â
âItâs fine.â
âIt looks bad.â
âIt looks unique.â
You walk over and gently take the hair tie from him. He surrenders it without protest. âFine,â he says. âYour mother may assist my creative direction.â
âIâm fixing it.â
âCollaborating.â
âFixing.â
Eunchae smiles into her toast.
At the field, the grass is damp from early morning sprinklers, and the air smells like sunscreen, cut grass, and coffee from the parents who look like they would rather still be asleep. Folding chairs line the sidelines. Younger siblings chase each other near the fence. Someoneâs dog keeps barking every time the whistle blows.
Changbin arrives carrying three water bottles, two jackets, a blanket, orange slices, a folding chair, your purse, Eunchaeâs extra socks, and a hand-painted sign that says GO EUNCHAE in letters so bold they can probably be seen from space.
You stare at it. âWhen did you make that?â
âLast night.â
âYou were supposed to be sleeping.â
Eunchae covers her face. âDad.â
âWhat?â
âThatâs so embarrassing.â
He lowers the sign slightly. âIs it too much?â
She peeks at him through her fingers. For one breath, the old fear passes over her face.
Changbin sees it. His expression gentles. âI can put it away,â he says. âIf you want.â
Eunchae looks at the sign. Then at him. Then at you.
You smile, hand resting on the curve of your stomach. âItâs a very nice sign,â you say.
âIt has glitter,â Changbin adds.
Eunchae bites her lip. Then she reaches for the sign. Changbin hands it over carefully. She studies the painted letters, the uneven stars around her name, the little soccer ball in the corner that is more oval than round. âYouâre going to yell?â
He looks offended. âWho do you think I am?â
âDad.â
âYes?â
âNot too loud.â
He considers this. âNo promises.â
She laughs.
When the game starts, Eunchae runs onto the field with her team, ponytail bouncing, cleats flashing over wet grass. For the first few minutes, she looks over too often. Checking.
You know what she finds every time. Changbin on his feet. You beside him, one hand over your stomach, the other waving whenever her eyes search for you. The ridiculous sign held high between both of you.
âGo, Eunchae!â Changbin shouts.
Several parents turn. He doesnât notice. Or care.
âThatâs my daughter!â
Eunchaeâs head snaps toward him. Her face goes red, but she smiles.
A few minutes later, she steals the ball from another player and sends it downfield with a determined kick.
Changbin nearly loses his mind. âYes! Thatâs it! Thatâs my girl! Did everyone see that? Suck it, Hwang!â He points at one of the soccer dads at the end.
âBinnie,â you laugh, tugging lightly at his sleeve. âVolume.â
âIâm cheering!â
âYouâre acting like a fan girl.â
âThen they should sell light sticks.â
You laugh harder than you mean to, one hand bracing your stomach.
Eunchae is waiting near midfield, bouncing lightly on her toes. She looks over her shoulder, searching for you both.
You lift one hand. Changbin lifts the sign. Together, loud enough for her to hear, you cheer her name.
Eunchae grins. Unhidden and certain.
Then she turns back to the game and runs.
Who are yall going see?đ
Got7 and Seventeen.
End of story
seo changbin x BYREDO [c] [c] [c] [c]
no one picking up my calls about seo changbin then I remembered I have tumblr lmaooooo
LOOK AT HIS FUCKING HANDS IM REELING

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seo changbin đŚ in íě§ě ě¸íŹë¤ (Hyunjin's Cells) #2ď˝[SKZ CODE] Ep.98
seo changbin x BYREDO [c] [c] [c] [c]
CHANGBIN @ BYREDO EVENT
Kija's World Premiere
Pairings: Minho x female!Reader, Minho & kid!character
Rating: T
Genre: Dad!Minho, fluff, Uncle!Stray Kids, single mother!reader, meet the family, SKZ Code
Summary: âBy the way,â Minho said, âour social team is going to be announcing the community center SKZ Code on Monday.â
Oh yeah. That.
It'd been nearly a month and a half since filming, and almost a month since you and Minho started dating. It felt like a done deal but the world hadn't actually seen Kija yet.
But now they were going to, and a part of you was still nervous about how they'd react.
What better way to distract yourself then by hosting a watch party for the big premiere?
Word Count: 6.1k
A/N: Aaaand Kija is BACK baby! Check out Baby Matchmaker if you haven't already! This is a sequel to that. I kept thinking about what Reader's reaction would be to the video, the comments, and all of that, as well as what Stay would think of Kija and here we are! (This is where I was doing a ton of research trying to determine when exactly they *recorded* this SKZ Code vs when it came out LOL I estimated mid to early January) ENJOY
â˝áľáśŚáľáśŚáľáľĘł áľáśŚËŁáľËĄ áľĘłáľ áľĘ¸ áľáľâž
(writing masterlist)
It's not like you meant to hide the filming from your sister, it just sort of slipped your mind until your normal phone call a week after it happened.Â
It also happened to be the day after you and Minho's first date.Â
âOkay, okay, but enough about my week,â your sister, Jae, said. âHow's things with you? How's my favorite nephew?â
You blinked as you realized what all had happened since you last spoke with her. You laughed sheepishly. âSo things have actually been a bit eventful. Did I tell you Kija was in a project for JYP?â
You knew fully well you hadn't.
âWhat?â Jae screeched. âWhat do you MEAN Kija was in a project for one of the biggest K-Pop companies? How? When? Tell me more!â
You laughed a little more naturally this time. âOkay, sorry, I know I should've told you sooner.â
âYou should have!â
âBut the last week has been a bit of a whirlwind and I just forgot, I'm sorry!â You apologized.Â
Jae huffed. âWell make it up to me by spilling the deets, come on!â
âI think Iâve mentioned my coworker, Sojun, before, right?â You asked.
âYeah, I think so,â Jae replied.
âSo his sister works with JYP, and apparently they were looking for some boys around Kijaâs age for a project relating to one of their boy groups,â you explained. âHis sister remembered him saying he had a coworker with a kid and asked about me, so he told me about it and gave me her contact information.â
âWhat kind of project was it?â She asked excitedly.
âI didnât know at first, either, and honestly I was a bit nervous about how public facing this would all be. I donât exactly plaster Kijaâs face online, and I still donât plan to,â you continued. âBut, he said it was paidâŚâ
Your sister hummed understandingly. âHey, no, I donât judge you at all for that swaying you a bit. Kids arenât cheap, especially for single moms, alright? Iâm sure you put a lot of thought into it first, too.â
You sighed. âI really did. I asked a lot of questions and I did decide to do it. It was going to be a filmed thing where one of their groups, Stray Kids, was going to be running a fake daycare for a day.â
âOh my god, Stray Kids?â Your sister interrupted. âYou used to love them! Were they nice? What was it like?â
You laughed. âIâm getting there. It was a bit surreal, meeting them, honestly, but they were all super nice. There were three other kids involved in the filming, too. Kija did really well. I wasnât too worried about him, but he ended up latching onto one of the boys a bit more than even I wouldâve anticipated.â
âOh yeah? Was he good with Kija, too?â
âHe was so good with Kija,â you admitted. âThe boys did a dance session with them, story time, a photo shoot, they tried to do a little scooter race, and then they did lunch and a nap, so it was a full day.â
âSounds like it, oh my gosh, and thatâs going to be posted somewhere?â
You nodded, even though your sister couldnât see you. âYeah, the contract said the finished product would be posted sometime in March or April, though they didnât give a specific date.â
âYou have to tell me the second you know when itâs going up, yeah?â Your sister said. âOh! Maybe we could have a watch party!â
You laughed. âYeah, maybe that could be fun.â
âSo, the guy who was good with him. Tell me about him, like how did he do? How was Kija with him?âÂ
You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks. âHis name is Minho and he just⌠was so patient and sweet with Kija. At the beginning when Kija was still a bit unsure, he just sat next to him and talked until Kija finally came over to him. Kija kept demanding his attention through out the shoot, too. At one point, during the dance session at the beginning, Kija got a bit overwhelmed and ran over to me and Minho came over to check on him.â
Your sister cooed. âAw, he sounds so sweet!â
âAnd um⌠he may have asked me out later, too,â you admitted.
âWHAT?â Your sister screeched excitedly. âA kpop idol asked you out? I mean- of course he did, youâre a catch, but WHAT? Why didnât you lead with that?â
You laughed again. âYou asked about your nephew, not about me.â
âMe wanting to know about you shouldâve been implied,â she argued. âDid you say yes? Was he cute? How did he ask you out?â
âWell, we talked some after the shoot was over,â you started. âIt was nice, and I kept thinking about him afterwards, too. I figured, though, that it was one and done, but then he texted me.â
Your sister squealed excitedly.
âI think heâs cute,â you continued, smiling, âand we had our first date last night.â
âAh!!! Iâm so happy for you!â
âThank you,â you replied, still beaming. âIt was super nice. He asked if I wanted Kija to come along, but I said I wanted to get to know him one on one, too. He ended up taking me to this nice restaurant and he even got me flowers and walked me back up to my apartment after.â
âGood! As he should!â Your sister said firmly. âWere the flowers pretty?â
âThey were,â you reassured her. âAnd when he came upstairs with me to walk me home, when we picked up Kija, Kija was so excited to see him.â
âBut was he excited to see Kija?â
âHe was,â you sighed fondly.
âHe better have been. Now you keep me updated on him, okay? If he asks you on another date, you tell me.â
You laughed again. âI will, I promise.â
You kept up your promise, gushing to your sister the days after the zoo date, and squealing to her excitedly whenever you both agreed to put a label on it.
You also let her know when you found out about the SKZ Code release date.Â
Minho had picked you up from work that day. The plan was for a date night at your place, with him insisting on cooking for you and Kija. Then, since it was a Friday night, he'd spend the night and you could enjoy a nice day together tomorrow.
When you got in the car, he leaned over and gave you a kiss, one hand resting on your leg as he began the drive back to your place.
After asking about your day, he brought it up.
âBy the way,â he started, glancing over at you before looking back at the road, âour social team is going to be announcing the community center SKZ Code on Monday.â
âOh?â You replied.
He nodded. âThe first part is going to come out this coming Thursday, and the second part will come out the week after that.â
You blinked. âItâs going to be two parts?â
Minho gave a light laugh. âYeah, our SKZ Codes usually are.â He glanced over at you. âIt was a few hours of filming, to be fair. Too long to fit into one video without cutting out too much.â
âI guess that makes sense,â you replied. âI wasnât sure. Itâs not like Iâve really filmed anything before.â You hummed. âI should text my sister and let her know. She wants to see it, too.â You looked over at him. âWhat time do you think itâll be posted?â
âProbably late ish,â he admitted. âThe company tries to hit as many timezones as possible with posting times, so around 8pm.â
You immediately relayed the information to your sister. âI mean, thatâs not too late at least, and I can ask to work from home the next day, too.â
âGonna stay up late watching it over?â Minho teased playfully.
âAh, actually my sister suggested a watch party originally,â you said. âI wouldnât be surprised if she came into town just for it.â
âThat sounds fun, celebrating Kija's big debut,â Minho noted.
You licked your lips. âWould you want to come? I don't know if it's weird watching yourself on screen, and maybe it's too early to meet the family but-â
Minho's hand moved to grab yours, interrupting your rambling thoughts. You glanced up at him from where you'd been staring at your lap.
âFirst of all, I would love to meet your sister,â he reassured you. âSecond,â he shrugged, âyou get used to seeing yourself on screen after a while. We've done watch parties for some of our music videos and such before.â
âWould Thursday evening be okay then? Or should I push it to Friday?â
Minho brought your hand up and kissed the back of it. âYou tell me which day works for your sister and I'll be there, okay?â
You smiled, cheeks dusted a soft red. âYeah, okay.âÂ
Turns out your sister, as you expected, was all too eager to come into town to throw a watch party. She even took off work on Friday so she could spend the night and hang out over the weekend.
Minho then tentatively asked if you wanted to get the other boys involved.
It came up over lunch on Saturday as you were finalizing the details of your sister's arrival time over text.
âI know they can be a lot, so you're welcome to say no, but they'd love to celebrate Kija's moment too, if you'd like.â
You looked around your apartment. âGod I don't know if all of you can even fit in here.â
âWe can bring some extra chairs over,â he offered. âOr we can hold it at my place if you want.â
You thought about it for a moment before shaking your head. âNo, I'd like it to be hereâŚâ You worried at your lower lip for a moment. âThey won't think it's too small right?â
âThey'd never judge you for your place,â Minho said firmly. âIt's very well kept in here and trust me, we've lived four in a dorm before. This is luxury compared to that.â
You let out a slow breath and nodded. âYeah okay,â you pointed at him, âbut I will need help buying food. That's too many mouths to feed.â
Minho laughed, leaning in to kiss you gently. âDeal.â
So now suddenly you were going to have your sister coming into town, she was going to meet your boyfriend, and one of the most popular kpop groups was going to be at your place for a watch party.Â
Easy.
Simple.
Not stressful at all.
You were so focused on the upcoming party over the weekend that you forgot the official Stray Kids account was going to be announcing the SKZ Code on Monday.
It honestly didn't even occur to you that said announcement might include your son's face.
It was Sojun who brought it to your attention just after your lunch break on Monday.
âNoona,â he called excitedly as he walked over to you. âKija looks so cute in the promotional material!â
The look on your face must've betrayed the fact that you had no idea what he was talking about.
âDid you not see them?â He asked, turning his phone to show you. âI thought maybe they would've told you as part of your contract deal or something.â
You shook your head. âNo, they didn't tell me. I sort of forgot.â
You gently took the phone from his hand so you could have a better look at the announcement.Â
The post was from their Twitter account. The text was simple, stating the episode names, numbers, and what dates they would air. Underneath was a pastel themed collage of the boys with the kids, presumably stills from the episodes themselves.
There was one picture of Kija in the lower left corner from storytime. He was seated in Minho's lap and Han, in full pig onesie, was seated next to him. Kija was looking up at Han in awe and the two boys were looking at him fondly.
You wanted to check the comments, but you handed Sojun his phone back. âThank you for showing me.â
He beamed at you. âI'm excited to watch it. I bet he was so cute.â
You smiled. âHe had a good time. It's gonna be adorable, I'm sure.âÂ
You and Sojun talked for a little bit more before returning to your work. Once he was gone, you pulled out your own phone and quickly searched up their Twitter.
How did it already have tens of thousands of likes? It was posted 20 minutes ago.
You tapped on the comment button and tentatively scrolled down.
@ fivesteps2skz: oh my god, my heart is already exploding
@ skzmagicskooldropout: MINSUNG PARENTS ARE REAL!!!
@ dwaekikiki: why is Changbin so cute all alone on his scooter?? đÂ
@ mongmongbby: i didnt know i needed Seungmin making faces at a toddler until this exact moment
@ sunshineracha: IM LIVING I MISSED THE BABY CONTENT
@ ooh.i.like.it: these babies are so so so cute, i canât wait for this omg
You werenât sure why you were expecting negativity, but the comments were just gushing over the boys and babies alike.
It made you smile a bit. Hopefully the reception to the video would be just as positive.
You sent the link to the post to your sister and went back to work.
Contact name: Sister Sister
Y/N: [link]
Y/N: the video announcement from Stray Kids! Figured youâd want to see it
Sister Sister: oh my goddd
Sister Sister: KIJA LOOKS SO CUTE
Sister Sister: thatâs Minhoâs lap heâs sitting in right?
Y/N: yeah it is
Sister Sister: ya know, i get why you went out with him then
Sister Sister: he looks so SOFT ugh
Sister Sister: canât wait to bother him on Thursday~
Y/N: *Jae*
Sister Sister: its my JOB as your favorite and primary family member to harass him playfully to make sure heâs right for you
Y/N: just dont be too hard on him ok?
Sister Sister: no promises ;P
The week both flew by and dragged on. Any free time you had was dedicated to cleaning your place and figuring out what food you needed for the evening. Minho stopped by in the evenings to help out, and he reassured you repeatedly that everything was going to turn out fine.
âItâs just a hang out,â he said. âI promise the boys donât have some sort of high, wild expectations about this.â
âI know,â you sighed. âI just donât normally host a lot of people like this. I want it to be fun.â
âAnd it will be, because you and Kija are there.â
Your sister made it to your house right after work on Thursday.
You beamed as you saw her standing outside of your place. Immediately you were engulfed in a hug.
âItâs so good to see you,â she gushed.
âIt is,â you agreed, holding her close, âI missed you.â
After a bit, she finally pulled back. âAlright come on, come on, I want to see my nephew.â
You laughed, quickly punching the code to get into your building before leading her inside.
âIâll grab him while you put your stuff down in your place,â she said cheekily.
âOh such a hardship for you, Iâm sure,â you teased, grabbing her overnight bag from her.
Jae just winked at you and made her way over to Misoonâs apartment door. You snorted, rolling your eyes fondly as you unlocked your apartment.
You heard Misoonâs voice behind you.
âOh Jae! Itâs so lovely to see you again. Itâs been too long.â
âIt has been too long, Misoon. I hope Y/N hasnât been working you too hard.â
âOh she could never, and I love seeing Kija. He makes me feel young again.â
You set your sister's stuff in your bedroom and threw down your work bag, too. You made it back to your front door just in time to see Kija squealing excitedly and running into your sister's arms.
You were so thankful your son had someone like your sister in his life.
Kija started babbling excitedly to Jae, who held him on her hip happily. You waved to Misoon, mouthing a thank you to her as the two made their way over to your place.
Kija spotted you once your sister walked closer. He squealed. âEomma!âÂ
You beamed, leaning over to give him a big kiss on the cheek. âHey baby. Is imo here?â
âMomo,â he agreed happily as he patted Jae's chest.Â
âThat's right, your momo is here,â Jae agreed. âNow I heard you got some new cat plushies since I saw you last.â
Kija immediately perked up and squirmed in her arms. Jae laughed, setting him down and following him as he happily toddled over to his bedroom to show her his collection.Â
With him thoroughly distracted, you headed into the kitchen to start prepping for tonight.
The plan was for everyone to be here by 7:30, though most of the boys would probably be here around 7. Minho was going to be coming over in the next half an hour to help you with setup, and Jisung would likely be joining him.
Speak of the devil, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled it out to check and noticed it was a new message from the man himself.
Contact name: Minho đ§Ą
Minho: just got off work, going to head home to change and grab some stuff then i'll be headed your way
Minho: is it okay if Jeongin comes along, too? His schedule got done earlier than expected and we're trying to take as few cars as possible
Y/N: sounds good <3 and yeah thats fine! As long as he knows it's gonna be boring for the first hour lol
Mimho: oh i'll put him to work, don't worry
Y/N: đ fair enough
Minho: is there anything else you need me to grab on my way?
Y/N: i don't think so, but we can always run and get it if we think of something
Minho: sounds good
Y/N: see you soon! Drive safe
Minho: will do đ¸
âMinhoâs gonna be here in half an hour,â you called out to your sister.
âOkay,â your sister called back. A moment later, she popped her head out of Kijaâs room. âDo you need me to do anything with Kija?â
âWell,â you started, glancing around the kitchen, âI have an outfit picked out for him for tonight, but I donât want to change him into it until he eats dinner, in case he spills all over himself.â
âWhen has he been eating?â She asked.
âNormally in about an hour from now, but we could probably feed him in the next 30 minutes or so,â you snorted. âMaybe after he calms down from Minho showing up.â
âNo way Minho will be more exciting than me,â your sister said as Kija toddled over to you, holding up his black cat plushie to you.
You cooed at Kija. âWho is that baby?â You asked. Not looking up at your sister, you continued, âYouâll be old news by the time Minho shows up, sorry.â
Jae gasped dramatically, putting a hand to her chest. âHow dare you.â
âKi,â Kija said proudly as he held up the plushie. You nodded along.
âThatâs right, thatâs a kitty.â
It felt like you had so much to do, and yet you knew you had time as well as help on the way. For example, you wanted to move the furniture in the living room to make room for more people, but you had three boys almost here who you knew would be happy to help.
Youâd started on some of the food, but you knew Minho had made some at home and would help more when he got here, too. Plus, if you started too early, itâd be cold when people got here.
You had an outfit you wanted to change into, and you wanted time to do your hair and makeup slightly, but you also couldnât do it too early since you still had more cooking to do.
You just had the itch to be productive, when you knew things still needed to wait. It was slightly agonizing, honestly.
But you managed to stay busy until the buzzer at the door finally sounded.
You hurried over to let them in. Kija was currently in the living room standing by the couch. He had his plushie scattered around him and was babbling to your sister as he trotted the toys along.
âKiki, guess whoâs coming?â You asked playfully, making your son look over at you with wonder.
âMinhoâs on his way up,â you said.
Kija immediately looked around, lips parted in shock. You giggled. âHeâll be here in a sec, okay?â
As if he heard you, there was a knock on the door. Kija screeched excitedly, and you had to scoop him up before he barreled over to the door himself. âHang on bud, give me room to open the door first.â
Kija squirmed as you unlocked the door and opened it up.
The second he spotted Minho on the other side, he was trying to throw himself out of your arms.
Minho laughed, immediately stepping forward so you could let him go. He scooped up the boy and held him up high before giving him a kiss on his nose.
âHi Kiki, yes, Iâm excited to see you too,â he cooed.
âMimo!â Kija giggled.
âUgh,â Jisung groaned, putting the back of his hand up to his forehead. âI know he knows your name, but every time he says it in person my heart melts.â
Minho gave Jisung an unimpressed look over his shoulder. âThey were just over at our place last weekend.â
âEvery time!â he emphasized.
Jeongin rolled his eyes fondly and then smiled at you. âNice to see you again Y/N. Thanks for having us over.â
âOf course,â you replied, stepping back to open the door further. âThanks for coming.â
The three boys stepped inside, toeing off their shoes, as Jisung tried valiantly to steal Kija's attention from Minho.
âBy the way,â you said, gesturing to your sister, âthis is Jae, my sister. Jae, this is Jisung, Minho, and Jeongin.â
The four of them bowed and gave greetings to each other. You could see Jae eyeing Minho playfully. She was definitely going to corner him later.
âOkay,â Jisung said, clapping his hands and breaking the moment, âso what do you need us to do?â
Very quickly, everyone was assigned a task. Jisung and Jeongin were put to work rearranging the living room. Jae stole Kija back to work on feeding him dinner. Minho joined you in the kitchen focusing on making food.
You had a little over an hour before the other boys were going to start showing up. Your sister quickly got Kija fed and changed and Minho eventually shooed you away so you could get changed as well.Â
Before you knew it, there was another buzz at the door.
You scurried over and let the person in. Taking a step back and looking around the apartment once you did.
Plates, cups, drinks, and utensils were all set up. Another chair had been dragged out from your room and Changbin was supposedly bringing a few more. The boys had gotten the TV setup to be displaying the Stray Kids YouTube channel.
Why were you feeling stressed all of a sudden?
Minho, ever observant, clocked your sudden triple checking of everything. He stepped away from the stove and put a hand on your lower back.
âEverything is set up. It's fine,â he told you softly but firmly.
You nodded, trying to take a deep breath. âIt just feels like that moment before you leave the hotel and you're convinced you've left everything behind.â
He snorted. âWell you live here, and there's a corner store just around the corner if we did forget something.â
âYou're right, you're right,â you agreed softly. âThank you.â
Minho hummed, kissing the top of your head. âAnytime.âÂ
Just as Minho made it back into the kitchen, there was a knock at the door. You took another deep breath before opening it up.
âHey guys,â you greeted, smiling.
Changbin and Hyunjin were on the other side, both holding different folding chairs. âHey Y/N,â Changbin beamed. âThe other three shouldn't be far behind, promise.â
âOh it's no worries,â you reassured as you stepped back to let them in. âYou can just set up those chairs in the living room. Thanks for bringing those by the way.â
âOf course,â Hyunjin replied, smiling. âGlad we could help.â
You quickly made more introductions with the boys and your sister. Kija happily toddled around, elated at how much attention he was getting.
As the last of the food was being finished and put out for people to eat, the door buzzed once more.
You let Chan, Felix, and Seungmin in and noticed they were carrying bags.
You looked at them, confused. You didn't remember them mentioning bringing anything else. âWhat's all this?â
The three of them just grinned and you realized the other boys were hiding smiles, too.Â
âWe wanted to get Kija presents to celebrate his big debut!â Felix explained excitedly as he pulled out a gift bag.
âOh my gosh, you guys are too much,â you groaned half-heartedly. âYou know his birthday is literally next month, right?â
âThat's over 30 days away, practically a month and a half,â Seungmin argued.
âKiki,â Jisung called, squatting down and waving a bag at your son, âlook what I got!â
Kija was quickly enraptured by the presents, and the boys were all delighted as he tore them open. You sighed fondly, standing by Minho, who was definitely also holding a bag.Â
Traitor.
Some of Kija's gifts included a stuffed camera, a beret, a picture book about cats, a Stray Kids themed t-shirt, a stuffed Han Quokka, a cute pair of sunglasses, and a star-printed onesie.
âBecause he's a star now!â Felix said, grinning.
Jae threw her hands up in the air. âI didn't know we were supposed to bring gifts. You guys are making me look bad!â
As the boys apologized to a laughing Jae, you turned to look at Minho. âWhat about your gift?â
He held up the bag. âThis is for you, actually.â
âOh,â you replied softly as you took the bag from him. âMin, you didn't have to get me anything.â
âI know,â he said simply, gesturing to the bag.
You huffed fondly but began to move the tissue paper aside to reveal what he'd gotten for you.
In the bag was a small frame containing a picture of you, Minho, and Kija from your day at the zoo.
âMinho this is so sweet,â you cooed, looking up at him.
He gave you a small smile. âI thought about grabbing a screenshot from the footage, as a memory of that day, but I wanted you to be in it, too.â
âNo this is perfect,â you reassured him. You leaned up and kissed his cheek. âThank you.â
Once the presents were cleaned up, well minus the beret which Hyunjin put onto Kija's head, everyone began to grab plates to eat.Â
It was honestly nice, just sitting around with a bunch of friends and enjoying a hot meal. It'd been a while since you'd gotten to do something like this.
It'd probably been at least since before Kija was born.Â
Kija sat between you and Minho, happily opening his mouth to steal some of your food anytime he wanted some. He had his camera plush in his lap beside his snow leopard plush.Â
He was content as could be.
âNow guys, don't be surprised if Kija falls asleep before this video is over,â you warned lightly. âHe's normally asleep by 8:30.â
âAw but he's gotta see himself on the big screen,â Hyunjin whined.
You snorted. âHe might not even realize it's himself up there to be fair.â
Food was quickly cleaned up and everyone grabbed a seat in the living room as the time finally ticked over to 8pm. Jeongin refreshed the page and there the video was.Â
The video opened on a shot of the boys looking exhausted. Kija was seated between Minho's legs, happily playing with a car as the other boys were strewn about the room.Â
âHow are we supposed to do this for five hours?â Seungmin groans.Â
As the camera zoomed out and Seungmin started laughing, a caption appeared on the screen reading, âWhat happened to Stray Kids?â
Jae started laughing, too. âWhat, you guys couldn't handle a couple of kids between the eight of you?â
âThey're a lot of work,â Hyunjin whined.
âWasn't it like one kid per two full grown man?â She teased.
The video cut to the SKZ Code intro animation. It still featured their SKZoo characters, but had clearly been updated since the last time you'd seen an episode.
âI can't believe you guys are up to 93 SKZ Codes now,â you noted.Â
Han leaned forward to look at you, eyes narrowed slightly. âHave you seen a SKZ Code before?â
Instead of answering, you turned and gave Minho a half-hearted glare. âDid you not tell them?â
He shrugged, smirking. âIt didn't seem relevant.â
You glared at him for a moment longer before looking back in Han's direction. âYes, I've seen a SKZ Code before. Well⌠most of them until I stopped watching.â You felt a blush climbing up your cheeks. âI definitely considered myself a fairly active Stay at one point.â
âAnd now you hate us?â Changbin gasped dramatically.
âNo, but having a kid kinda changes your priorities⌠and finances,â you explained.Â
âWho was your bias?â Seungmin asked, a mischievous glint in his gaze.
Your sister started laughing again as you looked away from all of them. âI never could pick-â
Your sister laughed louder.
Hyunjin pointed at her. âYou know something.â
She snorted. âOf course I do.â She glanced at you and then back at Hyunjin. âWho was the one with the rabbit again?â
âNo way,â Felix gasped, looking over at you.Â
You felt a hand slide over your shoulder as Minho tugged you closer to his side. Kija was now seated in his lap.Â
âHyung, you knew?â Jisung asked.
âOf course, she told me already,â Minho replied simply. âIt's because she has taste.â
Once the intro was over, the episode started with the cameras just on the kids. Kija was up on the stage, playing with some of the toys.
It felt odd seeing something you'd watched happen from just a slightly different angle. It almost made it feel unreal, even though you knew it had happened.
The episode was fun to watch, especially since your sister had no point of reference for it, so her reactions were very enjoyable.Â
It was also interesting to see different angles for some of the moments you remember, like seeing the kids playing upstairs, or the moment when Minho fell down the stairs and they zoomed in on Kija kissing the top of his head.
The other fun thing was the captions added by the editors. One in particular that made you giggle was when Seungmin said, âHe already found a new cat friend.â
The editors added whiskers to Minhoâs face and the caption read, âDoes he mean Lee Know or the stuffie?â
The boys managed to get Kija interested in the TV a few times during the episode. In particular, he seemed to like the close ups of Minho, or anytime the boys were laughing. Hyunjin scooped him up during the dancing section and shimmied around the room with him, making him giggle.
Honestly it was a fun evening. Kija even managed to stay awake during the whole video, though he kept yawning and rubbing his eyes. As the video was showing a preview for the next part, Minho turned Kija around in his lap so he could easily rest his head on his shoulder.
Kija snuggled into Minhoâs neck, one of his hands grasping at his shirt. You saw his eyes flutter shut and not open again.
âWow,â your sister said as the video came to a close, âI canât believe Kijaâs a superstar now.â
You wrinkled your nose. âGod I hope not.â
âWhat do you mean?â Hyunjin protested. âHeâs so cute he deserves to be a superstar.â
âI just⌠donât want him to get used to random strangers coming up and knowing his name,â you replied.
âHonestly I doubt itâll happen,â Chan told you. âEven we can walk around fairly often and not get bothered, so a single SKZ Code wonât make him suddenly super well known.â
Minho hummed in agreement. âHeâll be okay, I promise.â
âThat video was so cute though,â Jae commented. âSo, same time next week, right?â
You smiled. âI mean, if you all want to. I know you guys are pretty busy.â
âIâll be here for sure,â Minho said.
The boys all agreed that theyâd check their schedules and let you know.
âEven if not, I still appreciate you all being here for this one.â You smiled. âIt was a lot of fun. And thank you for the gifts for Kija, too.â
âKija deserves all of the gifts,â Hyunjin said seriously.Â
The boys stuck around for another hour, the ten of you just hanging out and chatting, while they also slowly helped clean up. Kija continued to sleep through all of it. You told Minho he could put him down in his bed, but he just shrugged and continued holding him.
Eventually, the boys began to leave. You gave them all hugs goodbye, when you realized that Jisung and Jeongin were leaving with Changbin and Hyunjin.
You glanced at Minho. âAre you staying?â
He smiled. âIf youâll have me.â
âDonât you have work in the morning?â
He shrugged. âI have a late start tomorrow.â He stepped closer, sliding one hand around your lower back. âPlus, Iâd much rather wake up with you.â
You giggled softly. âIâd rather wake up with you, too.â
âHey!â Jae said. âDonât forget Iâm still here.â
You gave Minho a soft kiss on the lips before turning and glaring playfully at your sister. âWhat, so I canât flirt with my boyfriend if youâre here now?â
âNot until after I give him the shovel talk,â she replied, putting her hands on her hips before turning just slightly to look at Minho. âYou seem really nice, and I noticed how you look at my sister and Kija, so I like you. I donât care if youâre an idol, though. If you hurt her, youâll have me to answer to.â
âI donât plan on hurting her,â he replied softly yet firmly, âbut if I do, Iâll deliver myself to you personally.â
Your sister narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before nodding. âGood.â
You blinked at her and then raised an eyebrow. âOkay so I can kiss him now?â
âYouâre a grown woman, who am I to stop you?â
You laughed and Minho snorted, leaning in to kiss your forehead.
The three of you continued to wind down for the evening. Minho finally put Kija to bed before helping you set up a place for your sister to sleep.
Finally, you got ready for bed, yourself, crawling in under the covers next to Minho.
âShould I check the comments on the video?â You asked him softly after a moment.
Minho turned his phone so you could see the screen. He already had the YouTube app open on his phone. âTheyâre all positive. People love him, and the other boys, too. Some people are joking about this being a ploy to âraise the baby rateâ here in Korea but,â he shrugs.
You rested your head on his chest and Minho angled his phone so you could read some of the comments, too.
@ iceforskz.122: oh my god i donât even have ovaries and theyâre exploding
@ woofwoofmong: I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED CHAN IN A WOLF ONESIE UNTIL NOW
@ minminminracha: Minho saying âthis oneâs mineâ??? HELLO??? EXCUSE ME SIR???
@ skz-lover-444: 2min fighting for Kijaâs attention is giving me life
@ gimbappp77: poor Suho )): i just wanted to hug him, baby was overwhelmed
@ sparkys2020world: if Minho doesnât steal Kija, Iâm going to oml
@ leebitbitme: if this is baby propaganda its working??? where can i buy one of these??
âSee?â Minho said. âThey all adore Kija, just not as much as I do.â
You laughed. âWell, you adoring Kija is half of why youâre here.â
âAnd the other half?â
âI hope itâs you adoring me.â
Minho smiled softly, turning so he could pull you further into his arms. âYeah, Iâd say it is.â
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An Experiment | Idol Min Yoongi x OC Fic
Synopsis: Mrs Min is persistent, she wants her son to get serious about dating and takes the matchmaking process in our own hands. Min Yoongi doesn't think he has the time or the space for a relationship, but it all changes after a few annoying texts from his mother and an elevator ride.
Genre: Idol Yoongi AU, FLUFF, a lot of FLUFF, boyfriend Yoongi, some smut, two people trying to figure out their feelings for each other. Art curator OC, it's just a lot of fluff with some smut because I am terribly single.
Word Count: 25K+
"Mom, I don't want you intervening in my dating life anymore!" Yoongi's voice carries down the hallway the moment his phone buzzes with yet another contact saved under a name like Park Soomin - nice girl, works in finance, very pretty âĽ. He stares at it for a long second before tossing the phone onto his bed. "I don't want you to help me find a girlfriend. I don't have time for a girlfriend."
He yanks open his closet and pulls out the last of the clothes he needs to pack, draping them over his arm with the practiced efficiency of someone who has lived out of suitcases for the better part of a decade. New York. Weeks of back-to-back schedules, press runs, radio slots, and performances and his mother was out here playing matchmaker like he was a man of leisure.
"I'm sure they're all great," he continues, softer now, more tired than annoyed. He means it, genuinely. It's never about the girls. "I just don't have the time." He pads out of the bedroom, heading toward the living room where he'd heard her shuffling around not twenty minutes ago, the familiar sound of her rearranging things that didn't need rearranging.
But the room is empty. Yoongi stops in the doorway, a dress shirt still folded over his forearm, and looks around. The television is off. Her reading glasses are sitting on the arm of the sofa. A half-drunk cup of tea steams quietly on the coffee table.
He blinks. "âŚMom?"
He walks further in, checking the kitchen, empty, then their bedroom. Nothing. He stands very still for a moment and replays the last several minutes in his head. The bedroom, the closet, the hallway rant. Had she even been home? Had he just been pouring his heart out to an apartment?
He drags a hand through his hair and exhales slowly through his nose. His phone buzzes again on the bed, distant but audible. Probably another one.
Her phone rings for a while before she picks up, âWhere are you?â Yoongi speaks to the phone as he continues packing. "I'm at the Lee's place." Her voice is bright, unbothered, the voice of a woman who has done nothing wrong in her entire life. "Their daughter is visiting. You should come over." A brief pause, then, as though it's a perfectly reasonable addendum: "Now."
Yoongi stops folding. "Their daughter," he repeats. "She's very sweet. She works in the arts world too, works as-" "Mom." He sets the shirt down. "I leave for the airport in twenty minutes"
"It won't take long, just come and say hello, what is twenty minutes-" "Why are you even there?" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "You went to the Lee's just⌠did you plan this? Did you leave so I couldn't argue with you in person?"
The pause that follows is a fraction too long. "Their daughter got some amazing desserts from Spain" she says finally, with great dignity. He laughs before he can stop himself, a short, disbelieving exhale and sits down on the edge of the bed amidst the half-packed chaos. "I'm not coming over."
"Just to say hello -" "I'm not coming over, I'm going to New York, and when I come back we are having a real conversation about this." He stands again, reaching for the shirt. "Enjoy the desserts"
"She has a very nice smile, so beautiful, perfect height for you" "Bye, Mom, Iâll see you in two weeks" He hangs up. Stares at the open closet for exactly three seconds, then gets back to packing. His phone buzzes again, information for the Leeâs daughter, like heâs really convinced by the hard sell his mother gave.
The elevator dings and slides open, and Yoongi steps in without looking up, wheeling his carry-on in front of him. He adjusts his mask, tugs his beanie down a little further, and stares at the floor numbers like they owe him something. He does not notice, at first, that he is not alone.
She's standing in the corner with her coat half-buttoned and her bag hiked up on one shoulder, the posture of someone who had also left a situation slightly faster than was polite. She'd walked into her parents' living room an hour ago expecting a quiet visit and had instead been subjected to an unsolicited slideshow. Her mother and Mrs. Min, two women who clearly missed their calling as matchmakers, had walked her through approximately twenty photographs. Career highlights, candid shots, one that looked suspiciously like a press photo with the watermark cropped out.
So she recognizes him from a maternal ambush conducted over barley tea and the good plates. She says nothing at first. The doors slide shut.Â
"Congratulations on the album," she says, pleasantly, the way you'd say it to a colleague in a lift. "My mother played me three songs from it this morning. Without warning."
That gets him, his head turns. Not just the sideways glance he'd given her when she shifted her bag a proper turn, eyes finding her face with something between confusion and alertness. The look of a man trying to locate the context.
"She what?" "The one with the soft intro," ___ continues, thinking back. "She said it proved you were sensitive. I think that was meant to sell me on you."
Thereâs complete silence from Yoongiâs side, he just stares at her. She can only see his eyes above the mask but it's enough she watches the exact moment the pieces assemble themselves.Â
"The daughter," he says slowly. "You're ___ Lee?" he recalls from the last contact information his mother sent. "And you're the son" She tilts her head. "Twenty pictures, by the way. I counted."
He makes a sound that isn't quite a word, more of a groan. His hand moves to the back of his neck. "I'm so sorry," he says, and he means it with his whole chest.
"It's fine." She smiles, and there's no edge in it, just genuine amusement. "Honestly the album part was good. I'd have preferred to find it on my own terms but-" she lifts one shoulder, "-here we are."
"Well, great to meet you." She steps out of the elevator first, one hand coming up absently to tuck a piece of her bob behind her ear before it falls back against her jaw anyway. Her coat is oversized, something vintage-feeling in a warm camel tone.
"I saw you guys in concert in 2019 and now we're being set up." She glances back at him with a grin that's more amused than anything else, fingers brushing through her bob again, a quick, unconscious sweep. "Funny how life works."
Yoongi follows her out into the basement, and for a moment he just looks at her. The way she says it, not starstruck, not awkward, just stating a fact, like it's a mildly interesting observation about the weather, catches him somewhere off guard.
He's used to two kinds of reactions. The overwhelmed kind, and the overcorrected kind, people who perform so hard at being normal around him that it becomes its own thing. She is neither. She's just standing there in her excellent coat, bag slouched on one shoulder, apparently entirely comfortable with the absurdity of the situation in a way that he, who has been mentally managing this airport run since Tuesday, is decidedly not.
"I'm sorry about my mother," he says again, because it warrants repeating. "You've said that already." "It deserves two apologies."
She laughs at that a real one, quick and unguarded, her hand going up to push her hair back from her face. It falls forward again immediately. She doesn't seem to mind. "She means well. They both do."
"I didn't know any of this was happening," he says, and he needs that on the record somehow. "I found out when she sent me your contact details. I was in the middle of packing."
"My mother sent me a voice memo," ___ offers. "Forty seconds. Very thorough." He closes his eyes briefly. "What did she-" he starts, then stops. "Actually, I don't want to know."
"She called you a great catch." ___ says it with complete neutrality, like she's reading from a grocery list. "Said you're the perfect husband material." A small pause. She tilts her head. "She mentioned the cooking specifically. Twice."
Yoongi stares at the concrete floor of the basement parking lot and says nothing for a moment. "The cooking," he repeats. "She seemed very proud of it."
"I made her one birthday dinner-" "Apparently it was very good." ___ is visibly enjoying this now, just slightly, the corner of her mouth giving her away.
He looks up at the ceiling. "I have to go to New York," he says in the tone of a man who has never wanted to board a flight more in his life. ___ laughs, warm and bright in the dim parking lot. "Go," she says, waving a hand. "Your perfect husband reputation is safe with me."
"Please forget everything she told you." "Absolutely not." She hoists her bag up and turns toward the exit, one hand ruffling to find her car keys "Have a good flight, Yoongi-si."
She disappears around the corner, still smiling.
His manager is at his elbow. "The car's ready." "Yeah." Yoongi watches her go for just a beat longer than necessary, the camel coat disappearing around the corner. "Yeah, okay."
The private lounge is quiet in the way airports never quite manage to be anywhere else â insulated, dim, the chaos of Incheon existing somewhere beyond the frosted glass. Their bags are lined up near the door. Someone has already claimed the couch. There's coffee on the table that Yoongi is already on his second cup of.
He sits down, sets his phone face down out of habit, and looks around at the others.
"Are your mothers also aggressively trying to set you up with someone," he says, with the careful delivery of a man who has been sitting on this all morning, "or is something wrong with mine?"
Namjoon looks up from his phone slowly, the way you look up when you want to assess the energy of a room before committing to a response. Jimin, who has been reorganizing his carry-on for the past ten minutes, stops and looks up. "What happened?"
"She left the apartment," Yoongi says. "While I was in my room packing, I thought she was in the living room⌠I was talking, going on and on-" he gestures vaguely, "-and she was already gone. At the neighbor's place."
"Doing what?" Hoseok asks. "Setting me up." He says it flatly. "Their daughter was there too. She sent me her contact details before I even knew any of it was happening. Then called me and told me to come over." He pauses.Â
"What did she do to sell you?" Seokjin asks, because he knows how mothers operate and he wants the full picture. "Apparently she played her our music." Yoongi stares into his coffee. "To prove I was sensitive. And she told her I could cook."
"She said I was the perfect husband," Yoongi continues, with the energy of a man reading from a police report. "To a stranger. That she had never met before."
"To be fair," Hoseok starts. Yoongi looks at him, Hoseok closes his mouth knowing when to not fan the flames.Â
"And then," Yoongi says, "I ran into her. The girl. In the elevator on the way down."
The lounge goes very still. "The girl your mother set you up with?" Namjoon says slowly.
"In your elevator." "Yes." "She was just, there?" "Apparently she left early too." He wraps both hands around his cup. "She must have been flustered by the set up too."
Then Taehyung, who has been sitting in the armchair with his chin in his hand and the expression of someone watching a very satisfying drama, asks the only question that matters.
"Was she cute?" Yoongi opens his mouth, closes it, looks down at his coffee, sets it down, picks it back up, like he doesnât know what to say or what to do with his hands.
"We're boarding soon," a manager says. âLetâs get goingâ but none of the members move, waiting for Yoongiâs answer
âHyung!!" Jimin says, slowly, the way you speak to someone who has already given themselves away. âWe should go, board" Yoongi offers as he stands up.
"Was she cute?" Taehyung repeats. "She was- " Yoongi stops to clear his throat, "It was a thirty second elevator ride."
"That's not a no," Hoseok observes. "That's not what I-" He picks up his coffee again even though he's not drinking it, just to have something to do with his hands. "She was normal. She was a normal person. Can we drop it."
"He's flustered," Jimin says to Namjoon, delighted. "I'm not flustered, I'm tired, there's a difference-" "Hyung." Taehyung is grinning now, fully, without shame. "Just say she was pretty."
Yoongi stands up, reaches for his carry-on, and says nothing. Which is, somehow, the loudest answer in the room.
Every monthâs second Friday dinners with Sunhee and Wonik are non-negotiable. They have been, for years, the kind of standing plan that survives busy seasons, travel schedules, and the general chaos of three people who probably have no business being as close as they are given how differently their lives run.Â
They're halfway through the meal when ___ sets down her chopsticks. "I want to tell you guys something," she says, "but you need to swear on your life and mine that you won't overreact."
Wonik looks up. "That is the single most alarming way to begin a sentence." "Swear first." "I'm not swearing on anything until I know the category of information I'm dealing with," Wonik says reasonably. "Is this a work thing, a family thing, or a-"
"Swear." Sunhee is already sitting up straighter. She has the posture of someone whose instincts are firing. "I swear," she says immediately. "Wonik, swear."
"Fine, I swear, I swear." "Okay." ___ picks up her glass, takes a sip, sets it down. "My mother set me up this morning. With the son of her friend Mrs. Min."
Sunhee's chopsticks hit her bowl, the sound is very loud in the small restaurant. "Say the full name," Sunhee says, in a voice that is very carefully controlled. "Say his full name out loud right now."
"Sunhee-" "___." Her eyes are very wide. "Say. The name."
___ looks at her. "Min Yoongi." Sunhee puts both hands flat on the table.
"I met him in the elevator," ___ continues, talking over whatever is happening on Sunhee's face, "for about thirty seconds. It was fine, he was normal, we were equally mortified because his mother had already sent him my contact details-"
"What about you?" Wonik asks. "Did you get his number?" "No." ___ shakes her head. "I meanâŚhe's. You know how famous he is. That's not really something you just-" she gestures vaguely. "I have his mother's number. That's it."
"You have his mother's number," Wonik repeats. "She put it in my phone herself. Before I could leave." "Resourceful woman," Wonik says, almost admiringly.
"You were in an elevator," Sunhee says slowly, still processing, "with Min Yoongi." "For thirty seconds, yes-" "Of BTS."
"Sunhee-" "SUGA!" "I need you to not do that-" "How are you this calm right now? How are you sitting there like that?"
"Because it was thirty seconds in a basement parking lot and then he left for the airport," "Did he seem interested?" Wonik asks, cutting straight through it.
___ opens her mouth and closes it, well she couldnât see much of his face other than the eyes, and his eyes were more irritated at his mother than interested, "He apologized twice for his mother."
"That's not what I asked," Wonik says. The table is quiet for a second. "He watched me walk away," ___ says finally, very casually, into her drink.
Sunhee makes a sound that is not words, close to a manic laugh. "You said you wouldn't overreact," ___ reminds her.
"I SWORE I WOULDN'T OVERREACT, I DIDN'T SAY I WOULDN'T HAVE FEELINGS-" "Same thing" ___ says with an incredulous laugh as she downs her shot of soju.
"It is absolutely not the same thing!" Sunhee shouts as she downs her drink. Wonik refills everyone's glass quietly, the expression of someone who knew from the word swear that it was going to be a long dinner.
Yoongi thinks about ___ the way he thinks about songs that aren't ready yet, circling it, not touching it, waiting to see if it still feels like something after enough time has passed.
It does. The contact has been sitting in his phone since the morning he left for the airport. ___ Lee. His mother had sent it with a string of hearts he had not acknowledged. He'd told himself he saved it by accident. He'd told himself a lot of things.
He's in the back of a car heading to some schedule. His life is mostly cars heading to schedules, he's come to understand, when he opens the contact and stares at it for long enough that the city outside the window blurs entirely. It's the jacket that does it in the end, or that's what he tells himself.
He picks up his phone, puts it down and picks it back up.
Yoongi: Where did you get the jacket you were wearing?
___ is in Hong Kong, sitting cross legged on her hotel bed with client notes open on her laptop, when her phone buzzes. Unknown number, she frowns at it slightly.
No hello. No name. No context whatsoever. Just that, from a number she doesn't recognize, as if the conversation had already been happening somewhere she wasn't aware of.
___: Who is this?
His response comes quickly, even if itâs pretty late in New York, mostly because he had been on his phone watching something when he couldnât sleep. Yoongi immediately sits up, realizing what heâs done, just asked about a jacket without introducing himself, of course sheâs skeptical.
Yoongi: from the elevator
She stares at that for a second. Then it lands, all of it at once, the basement parking lot, the beanie, the mask, the carry-on, their motherâs voice doing their best to convince her.
She puts her laptop to the side, the client notes can be taken care of later in the day.Â
___: It's vintage. There's no link I can send youÂ
She has a ghost of a smile as she helpfully types.Â
___: I can lend it to you
___: No youâre rich rich, buy it from me
In New York, Yoongi reads that last message and something in his face does a thing he's glad nobody is around to see. He is not good at whatever this is, thatâs what heâs realizing.
Yoongi: How much
___ reads that and laughs, a real one, sudden enough that it surprises her. She pushes her hair back and looks at the ceiling for a second.
___: I'll think about it
In New York, Yoongi chuckles as he turns around in bed, a real laugh, like heâs amused, like he wants to talk more, like heâs fascinated.
Yoongi: Take your time
He puts the phone on his chest and stares at the ceiling of his hotel room, the city humming its endless New York hum somewhere beyond the glass, and he thinks that this is perhaps the most words he has willingly initiated with someone new in a very long time.
He also thinks that I'll think about it is not a no. He falls asleep twenty minutes later with the phone still in his hand, which has not happened in recent memory either.
___ thinks about that for a moment. The hour it must have been in New York. The fact that he had her number this whole time, sitting there, and this is what finally made him use it. A jacket. An excuse so thin it was practically transparent and he'd sent it anyway.
She wasn't even looking, she rarely is when she finds the best things. She'd ducked into the thrift shop on a whim, killing twenty minutes between a gallery visit and a lunch she was already slightly late for, and there it was. Black leather, clean lines, interesting hardware on the collar. The kind of jacket that looks like it has a history without looking tired.
___ takes the mirror selfie without thinking much about it. One hand holding the phone up, the other shoved in the jacket pocket, her hair slightly disheveled from pulling it on. She looks at it for approximately one second to confirm it's not blurry.
___: Tan will wash you out a bit
___: How about something like this?Â
She sends the message with the image as sheâs already buying the jacket, something in her telling her that she just needs to get this today.
Yoongi is somewhere over the Pacific, when the flight's wifi finally decides to cooperate. His phone loads a backlog of messages and he's scrolling through them automatically, half asleep, when he sees her name.
He sits up as the picture loads. The jacket is perfect. He knows it immediately, the same way he knows when a song is working, something just settles.He stares at the photo for longer than necessary.
In the seat beside him Namjoon is reading, headphones on, entirely in his own world. Across the aisle Jimin is asleep, nobody is watching as he smiles at his phone like an idiot. He makes no effort to mask the smile as he types back.
Yoongi: I like it
Yoongi: Where are you?
Her reply doesnât come instantly, it comes as heâs being driven home from a long flight, trying to stay up to fight the jet lag.
___: Hongkong for the Art Basel event
___: I was there, now I am at the airport, waiting for my cab to pick me up
___: Do you like it?
Yoongi doesnât stop to contemplate as he types, Jimin looking at him suspiciously as he does so with a faint smile.
Yoongi: Yes
___: Good, then you can pick it up from my studio when youâre free
He reads that once and then again.
A studio. She has a gallery. She was at Art Basel. He turns that over quietly, this small new piece of her that just landed without ceremony in the middle of his exhausted morning, offered the same way she offers everything, casually, like it costs her nothing, like she isn't handing him a reason to see her again wrapped in a sentence about a jacket.
He's smiling again as he mutters, "I think I've done something stupid," he mutters, to nobody in particular, to the window, to the general concept of his own decision making.
"Yes," Jimin says from approximately four centimeters away, "flirting via jacket is stupid." A beat. "It's also very you." Yoongi turns to look at him. Jimin is gazing out the window with the serene expression of someone who has absolutely been reading every message off the bright screen this entire time and feels no guilt about it whatsoever.
Yoongi: I can come by monday morning if that works for you
Yoongi: Send me the address
He locks his phone for a brief second before it buzzes again.
___: Perfect, but donât come in too early, Iâm useless before 10
Yoongi: Iâll be there by 11 then
Yoongi puts his phone in his jacket pocket and closes his eyes, the city still moving outside, home getting closer. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't particularly try to.
___ spends a bit longer getting dressed that morning, which is not the case on a monday morning when she doesnât have any clients to meet, she doesnât even go into work on a monday most weeks. She straightens the pale white dress one last time when she drops her handbag and goes around switching on the studio lights.
âWhere are you off too? I thought you didnât have any scheduleâ his mother asks as he continues to fix his hair, âJust some work came up, Iâll be back by dinnerâ he announces as he tries on three different pairs of glasses, landing on the same dainty oneâs heâs been wearing for weeks now.
Yoongi is there quicker than imagined, parking the Mercedes quietly as he puts on a mask on, he doesnât know who all are going to be there, and heâd much rather not have this visit becoming a bigger deal than it needs to be. The studio is located in a quaint neighbourhood, plants all around the glass door entrance as he walks up, coffees hand, he didnât want to show up empty handed.Â
The door announces him, not a bell exactly, just the particular sound of glass and marble connecting, his footsteps suddenly loud and deliberate in the quiet of the space. He slows instinctively. His sunglasses are on his head, pushed up to get a proper look, and his eyes move around the room the way they do when he enters somewhere new, taking inventory, settling, trying to understand a space before the space understands him.
"You're early." He turns.
She's coming from the back of the gallery, and he stops. Not visibly, not in any way she'd necessarily catch, but something in him just pauses for a moment and takes inventory of her the same way he did with the room.
The dress is pale linen, short, simple in the way that only works when someone has a very good eye for what suits them. Her hair is pinned away from her face today. She looks entirely at ease in the space, the way people look at ease in places they've built for themselves.
And then he notices the tattoos. He doesn't stare. He notices, the way he notices the jacket, the coat, the glasses she isn't wearing today and darts his eyes away
"Traffic was light," he says. She glances at the carrier in his hand and one brow lifts slightly. "That's more than one coffee."
âUh yeah, I didnât know how you take your coffee, thereâs an iced americano, hot latte and an iced latteâ he explains and ___ smiles, picking up the hot latte for herself. âThank youâ she murmurs and he hums to himself, picking up the americano for himself.
âSo, this is my uncleâs gallery, Iâve been working with him for god, ten years nowâ ___ explains as she walks a few steps ahead of him, showing him around, he hums every once in a while, heâs not very talkative, as sheâs noticed.
He does the mental math quietly. She would have been young when she started, almost 20.
"We work with private collectors mostly. Finding them legacy pieces, introducing them to new artists, hosting shows sometimes." She pauses in front of a series of smaller works along the eastern wall, studying them for a second like she's seeing them for the first time. "It's quite fun, actually. Every collection is different. Every collector is different." A small smile. "Some of them are insane, but in the best way."
He looks at the series she's stopped at. Three pieces, related but not matching, a conversation between them rather than a repetition. "How do you find the artists," he says.
She turns, slightly surprised, not that he spoke, but at the specificity of it. Most people ask about the collectors. "Everywhere." She leans against the wall beside the series, arms crossing loosely, the tattoos catching the track lighting. "Art fairs. Studio visits. Sometimes someone sends me something and I can't stop thinking about it." She tilts her head. "Sometimes I find them in thrift shops in Hong Kong."
He looks at her then, and there it is again, that sideways almost-eye-contact, landing just adjacent to direct. The corner of his mouth does something small.
She pushes off the wall and keeps moving. He follows, hands in pockets, in no hurry, taking everything in.Â
"Your uncle started it?" he asks, after a moment. "Mmhm. Thirty years ago, almost." She stops at a large photograph mounted simply, no frame. "He took me to my first auction when I was nine. I didn't understand any of it." She pauses. "But it did flame the fascination inside meâ
He looks at the photograph. Then at her, briefly, the way he does, quick, considered, like he's filing something away.
Yoongiâs phone is vibrating in his pocket, he knows that itâs his manager checking if heâs on the way to practice. Theyâre currently in the beautiful backyard, what Yoongiâs leart is that this used to be ___âs grandparents home before it was turned into a gallery. Sheâs on the other end of the bench as she places her empty coffee cup down.
âAnything that caught your eye in there?â ___ asks and he briefly looks at her before he looks away, his eyes falling on her red heels, quite high for a monday.Â
âA few thingsâ he confesses with a faint smile as he looks around, at anything but her. âIâm not cultured enough to understand art so havenât bought much as of lateâ he offers more, he knows that sheâs been the one leading the conversation, he doesnât want her to think that heâs not listening.Â
"I don't think people need to be cultured to understand art," she says. "There's art in almost everything." She says it without any weight to it, not a lecture, just a thing she actually believes. Â
He looks back down. At the floor, at the middle distance, briefly at her hands where they rest against her knee, the tattoos more visible from here, something intricate in the design, leaves or maybe something older than that, he can't quite tell without looking properly and he's not going to look properly.
She's in the middle of saying something about the artist, a story beginning to take shape, her hands moving slightly the way they do when she's getting to the good part of something when his phone rings.
Loud with no respect for the moment whatsoever. He pulls it out and silences it immediately, the name on the screen requires no explanation. He closes his eyes for approximately one second.
âYou need to leave donât you?â ___ asks as she stands up, âI do, we have a tour starting in two weeksâ Yoongi offers as she leads them back in, her heel slipping in some mud before he catches her briefly.Â
âThank youâ she murmurs, steading herself as she fixes her posture, all he does is softly smile as he drops his hand from her arm.
âSo, the jacket, itâs a vintage Ralph Lauren jacketâ ___ speaks as she appears from her office, a bag in her hands. âThank you, I donât think I own any vintage piecesâ Yoongi shares as she hands him the bag, their fingers brushing just for a second.
âUm, how much-â âPlease, no, consider it a giftâ ___ says with a soft smile, the smile that is making Yoongi late for practice. He holds the bag and looks at it and then looks at her. She can see him trying to find another angle on this and coming up short.
âWe have a few concerts in Goyang, you should come,â Yoongi suggests and she presses her lips together like sheâs thinking long and hard about it. âYou got me a jacket, let me get you concert tickets, our come by rarelyâ he brags a bit, trying to sell her on this.
âSure, but can I get a plus one on that?â ___ asks knowing full well Sunhee would quit on the friendship if she doesnât get him a ticket. The plus one confuses him, like thereâs someone already in the picture and she catches that confusion almost immediately.Â
âMy friend, sheâs a huge fan, she wasnât able to get ticketsâ she says and he huffs, not quite a laugh but adjacent to one and looks away, and she watches him do it with the ghost of a smile that she doesn't bother hiding because he isn't looking at her anyway.
âOf course, Iâll text you the details?â he asks as he mentally prepares himself to leave. "Thank you," she says. "I really enjoyed the 2019 concert." She turns one of her rings, slowly, around her finger. Then another. He glances at her hands briefly. "And Sunhee fainted, which in this situation I think counts as a good sign."
He looks up at that. "She fainted?" "Briefly. She was fine." ___ pause, looking up at him "Mostly fine." The almost-laugh again, slightly more this time. He looks away before it becomes anything. "Okay." He takes a small step toward the door. "I'll see you. I really, really need to go."
He still doesn't turn around, she notices. "Yes, please." There's warmth in it, no edge. "You're a busy man, Yoongi-si." He turns then, just slightly, and there's something in his expression that she hasn't seen yet, something a little looser than his usual careful composure.
"Let's just -" he starts, stops and tries again. "We should talk informally. I'm not that strict, and not that much older than you"
She looks at him. He looks somewhere adjacent to her, the way he does, the tips of his ears faintly pink in the studio light, and she realizes with some delight that this small thing, dropping the formality, asking for it plainly, has cost him something, not much.Â
She tilts her head. "Okay," she says simply, no teasing. She gives him that much.
He nods once, like something has been settled. "I'll text you," he says.
"Go," she says. He is almost jogging out of the gallery. The glass door swings shut behind him and she stays exactly where she is for a moment, rings still warm from where she'd been turning them, the studio quiet around her.
Yoongiâs mother has made something good, as promised. The table is full and warm and she is asking about his week with the particular casualness of someone who has decided not to ask about anything specific, which means she is asking about everything specific indirectly.
He answers in the usual way. Fine, busy, yes he ate properly in New York. No he doesn't need her to call his manager about the schedule. His phone is face down beside his bowl.
He picks it up, checks it once, puts it back down. His mother says something about his aunt. He nods. She says something about the weather this weekend. He nods again.
His phone buzzes twice in quick succession. Then once more when he finally turns it over.
___: So I see you sunday?
___: I have to meet this client in Dubai and I fly in late afternoon on saturday, can I come to the stadium with a suitcase?
___: Canât do saturday because Sunhee has a scheduled c-section for a patient
He reads them once, then again. He's smiling at his phone before he's decided to, the particular involuntary kind, and he catches it and schools his expression back to neutral approximately one second too late.
His mother is looking at him. "What," he says. "Nothing," she says, in exactly the tone she used that morning about the glasses. She turns back to her food with the serenity of a woman who has already won something and knows it.
They've been texting for two weeks now. Properly, not just the jacket, not just small talk, but the kind of texts that start about one thing and end up somewhere else entirely an hour later. She's funny over text in the same way she is in person, dry and quick, and she asks him questions that are more specific than people usually bother with.
He'd much rather call her. He knows that about himself already, that he'd rather hear her voice than read the words, that a call would be easier and faster and better in almost every practical sense. He's not ready to call her yet. He's not entirely sure what that means but he knows it's true.
Yoongi: Iâll have someone from the team meet you, theyâll take care of everything
Yoongi: Your friend is an OB-GYN?
___: Yes, sheâs also my doctor, and will be for free for the rest of my life so I gotta treat her right. Also because I love her
He reads that and something about it lands warmly, the easy way she says it without any performance in it. He's about to type back when , "Have you reached out to any of the girls I sent you?"
He looks up, his mother is across the table, expression pleasant, chopsticks down, in the posture of someone who has been waiting for a natural opening and has decided this is it.
"No," he says. "None of them?" "None of them." She considers this with the gravity of a woman receiving disappointing quarterly results. "There was a very nice one, works in finance, you said you wanted someone independent"
"Mom." "And the architect, you didn't even look at her profile-"
"I looked." "For how long?" He doesn't answer that. She sighs with her entire body. "The concerts are this week?"
"Thursday, Saturday, Sunday." "Which day can we come? Me, your dad and your aunt-" "Saturday," he says immediately with no hesitation whatsoever.
She blinks. "Saturday? Not Sunday?" "All the parents will be there on Saturday" Yoongi says this like itâs a sure think which he knows isnât, but heâs going to have to plan it so that it is.
"Your aunt was hoping for Sunday" He picks up his chopsticks with great authority. "Iâll have to check, but I already have your tickets for Saturdayâ
âOkay, but what about the Leeâs daughter? Mrs. Lee said she's very busy with work, always travelling, very independent, the hair cut was a disappointment to the parents but sheâs still such a pretty woman, and sheâs short enough for youâ âIâm not that short momâ âItâs my fault, I should have married a taller manâ His mother says with complete sincerity and Yoongi stares at her.
"That's" he stops. "What does that have to do with " "Your father is a good man." She picks her chopsticks back up serenely. "But the height. I should have thought more carefully."
"Dad is right there." From the other end of the table, his father, who has been eating in peaceful silence through this entire conversation with the practised serenity of a man who checked out of these discussions some years ago, looks up briefly.
"She's not wrong," his father says. "Dad." "I'm just agreeing with your mother." "You're agreeing that you're too short"
"I'm agreeing that she should have thought more carefully." He goes back to his food. "Very different thing." Yoongi looks between them. His mother is eating with great satisfaction. His father has returned to his bowl.
___ hasnât changed in a barâs bathroom before, so this is a first as she slips herself in a black dress right from the airport. Her hair is not the best, but thatâs the good part about having a bob, it doesnât need a lot of styling. What does need help is her face.
âHow do you have no makeup?â ___ asks with disappointment as she slides back onto the bar stool, sheâs swapped the beer for hard liquor because the dress she packed doesnât allow for a beer belly.
âI have chapstick, but itâs not hygienic to-â âI have like five lip products but nothing for my face, I need to start carrying around a cushion foundation or a tinted sunscreen or somethingâ ___ says as she she downs her drink, third drink of the night and with the little amount of rest sheâs had all week, she knows sheâs going to be hitting a wall soon.
â___ are you nervous?â Sunhee finally asks as the food comes, it would be normal for Sunhee to be nervous, but ___ is never nervous. âI donât know, I am mostly tiredâ ___ offers as she stuffs her face with the fries, food should help her. Sheâs about to speak up again when her phone buzzes loudly against the table.
Yoongi: Iâve forwarded your contact to my manager, heâll find you and get you guys to your seats
Yoongi: Iâll see you after the concert
___: All the best for the concert, Iâm sure itâs going to be great
She types as Sunhee pays the bill, ___ might be nervous but Sunhee is anxious to leave this pub and be at the venue as soon as she can
Yoongi: Thank you, Iâll see you soon
___ doesnât have a change to respond back before her phone is already ringing. Itâs all too quick from there, they barely find a cab to the event, which Sunhee spends meditating like she does before operating, this is as she says, a spiritual experience for her.
âWhy am I the only one that drank?â ___ asks as they sit down in their seats, the massive crowd all around her leaves her awestruck for a second. âI am on callâ Sunhee answers, her eyes wandering, her short answers give her away.
âCome on, chill out, weâre going to be having a lot of funâ ___âs just the right kind of drunk now, the four drinks when everything is amazing and all you can think about is a drunk cigarette. The crowd around her is the kind of happy that's collective and contagious and she can feel it getting into her bloodstream alongside the liquor.
"Sunhee, your hand is shaking." Sunhee looks down at her hand. Places it flat on her knee with great effort. âThat's adrenaline," she says. "It's a physiological response, it doesn't mean-"
The lights drop all the sudden, Sunhee grips her arm so hard ___ loses circulation for a moment. The crowd becomes something else entirely, a single enormous sound, and ___ feels it before she hears it, in her chest, behind her eyes, somewhere wordless and immediate. She stops thinking about the cigarette immediately as the music starts playing.
Between the singing and dancing that ___ and Sunhee have been doing, they almost miss Sunheeâs phone going off. She reads the message and is immediately a different person, âMy patient just went into labourâ she announces to ___ as sheâs picking up her bag.
âHowâll you get back?â ___ yells over the music, "I'll call a cab-" "Are you sure-"
"___." Sunhee stops for a second and looks at her properly for one second, the exit forgotten. Her expression does something warm and knowing and slightly unbearable. "Stay."
"I was going to stay-" "I mean after." She squeezes her hand once. "Stay after."
___ opens her mouth and closes it, not able to form any words at the moment. The crowd surges around them as the last few songs begin to play, enormous and bright, and Sunhee is already moving toward the exit, bag on her shoulder, phone to her ear, slipping through the crowd with the quiet efficiency of someone who has somewhere more important to be.
___ sees him, her eyes almost involuntarily finding him every now and then, smiles to herself seeing him so happy on stage, his cute mannerism that sheâs finding too endearing. How the crowds cheer for them, the heart that they sing and dance with, this kind of passion could move anyone.
The final note ends, the roar that comes after is physical, a wall of sound, and the boys walk back out for their bow, all of them, together, the stage lights warm on them, and the crowd sends everything it has left toward the stage in one long unbroken wave.
___ stays seated as the people around her continue to gather their stuff and move around, ready to leave. She's not sure where to go or what the protocol is or whether there even is a protocol, the text that said see you after suddenly very present in her mind now that after is here.
She's still sitting when someone appears at the end of her row. Yoongi's Manager, the same one who met her outside the venue, was efficient and unhurried, with the quiet competence of someone who has done this exact thing many times.
"Ms. Lee." He nods once. "If you'll follow me."
She picks up her clutch and stands too quickly, smoothing her dress in one swift motion, she walks as she reapplies her lipstick, hoping this can mask the lack of makeup.
She follows him through the emptying stadium toward the back, the crowd thinning around her, the stage growing closer, the noise of the night shifting into something quieter and more specific the further in they go.
The hallway outside the green room is not what she expected, though she's not sure what she expected exactly. It's busy in the contained way of post-show logistics, staff moving with purpose, and people. Guests, she realizes, a few of them, recognizable faces standing in the particular way that recognizable people stand when they're in a space that isn't quite public, relaxed but not fully, aware but performing unawareness.Â
Jimin notices her first as they emerge from the resting room, having caught their breaths after the concerts and now ready to greet their guests. His eyes land on her and then move to Yoongi in the same second, quick and unnoticeable to anyone not watching for it. She catches it.
The group collectively greets a few people as ___ stands on the side, not wanting to be in peopleâs way when Yoongi stops right in front of her.
Still slightly out of breath, towel around his neck, water bottle in hand, his eyes find her sneakers first. They make her considerably shorter than him and she watches him register this, his gaze traveling up slowly before it finds her face.
"Hi," he says softly, a small smile spreading on his face, sheâs about to say something when he pulls her by the arm, away, in another quiet room, away from the people.Â
"Oh my god, you guys were incredible. I think my throat actually hurts from how much I was cheering, which has never happened to me before in my life-" Yoongi sets his water bottle down and disappears behind a curtain at the far end of the room, changing, and she can see his silhouette moving and hear the quiet sounds of someone pulling off a jacket, a shirt, the efficient undressing of someone who just wants to be in normal clothes as quickly as possible.
"-the production, the stage is so massive, and the crowd, every one having the best times of their life, my hearts still beating like crazy, I canât even imagine what yours is doingâ she talks naturally, like a person who had a life altering experience and needs to share it. Thereâs a faint laughter from his end as he continues behind the curtain.Â
âSeriously, the scale of this is crazy, you guys were amazingâ He says nothing for a moment. She can hear him pulling on something.Â
He's tired, she can hear it underneath the silence, the particular quality of exhaustion that has gone past the point of showing itself and become something quieter. He performed for three hours, he's been doing this for days and he's here, behind a curtain, listening to her talk about the lighting.
She stops talking suddenly, very aware of how much sheâs rambled on, "Sorry," she says. "You're exhausted." âI want to hear everything you have to say ___â he speaks softly as he emerges from behind the curtain.Â
âI always have a lot to say Yoongi,â she stops, copying the same emphasis he just placed on her name, âYou might get tired of how much I have to sayâ she continues as he stops by a table, dropping all the clothes he was just wearing now that heâs in a simple jeans and black shirt.Â
Yoongi isnât just tired, heâs exhausted, exhausted enough to do what heâs done each night after a show, and rush home. But he simply takes a seat on the sofa opposite to hers, he wants to continue listening to her voice.Â
âSeriously, it was amazing, congratulations, I would have brought flowers or something if I didnât directly come from the air-â âYou have freckles around your nose, theyâre umâ Yoongi interrupts. It comes out before he's made a decision about it. The exhaustion, probably. The way tiredness removes the small delay between thinking and saying, the buffer he usually relies on.
The briefest pause where his senses catch up with his mouth and he considers his options and decides on honesty anyway. "Very pretty."Â
The silence between them is the particular kind that has too much in it to be comfortable and too much in it to break carelessly. âYour friend? I didnât see her-â âOh her patient went into labour so she had to rush out, but she caught most of the concert and is now probably prepping to deliver a babyâÂ
âOhâ thatâs all Yoongi can muster now that the buffer of a friend is gone, when Yoongi was imagining seeing her after the concert, he kept imagining the friend. âYeah, but I should get going too, you must be tiredâÂ
âI am tired, but I can still drop you home?â Yoongi asks, knowing full well that he should have probably asked her for dinner, given the thin smile on her lips. âPlease, I can find my way-â âThereâs going to be a lot of traffic ___â Yoongi offers and she smiles briefly as he says her name again, the particular softness that he uses.Â
"It's late," she says. "Which is why there'll be traffic."
"Yoongi-" "My car is already outside." He says it simply. "It's not out of the way." She looks at him for a moment. He looks her straight in the eyes for a second, like he really means this and isnât offering this out of some formality.Â
âYou donât know where I liveâ she says with a teasing tone as they both stay seated, not quite ready to move onto what comes next. âToday I learn your address thenâ
The car is quiet, not the uncomfortable kind, but the kind where neither of them knows what to say. None of them imagined the string of events that led to this, it almost makes Yoongi chuckle to himself as he thinks about how vehemently against this he was, his mother canât know any of this yet. Not until he knows why he keeps reaching for his phone for her text back, why he saved her address without thinking about it, why he's sitting in a car at midnight when he should be in bed.
He doesn't know yet. He'd like to figure it out quietly, without his mother's involvement, which is the only way anything survives in its early stages.
âSo, the tour, you guys must leave soonâ ___ speaks up as they stop at a red light, the traffic is indeed awful. âYes, Japan, then the US, Mexico, back to US and then back in Korea around mid Juneâ Yoongi hears himself say it. All of it, laid out in sequence, the shape of the next several months suddenly made concrete in the quiet of the car.Â
Somewhere in the middle of the list he understands, clearly and exactly why he told his mother he didn't have time for a girlfriend. Why he'd meant it. Why it was true then and remains true now regardless of freckles or the jackets or the way she says his name.
He can't do this to someone. The disappearing, the timezone math, the months of existing primarily as a name on a phone screen. He knows what that looks like from the inside and he knows what it asks of the person on the other end and it's a lot. It's always been a lot.
"Mid June," she says quietly, doing the math the same way he just did. "Mid June," he confirms with a long exhale.
"Do you get used to it?" she asks. "The schedule."
He thinks about it for a few seconds, deciding on how honest he should be, "You get used to moving," he says. "You don't really get used to leaving."
The car stops at another light. Somewhere outside a group of people are spilling out of a restaurant, loud and warm on a Sunday night, and she watches them through the glass.
Sheâs almost thirty two, a gallery she loves, clients she's spent years building relationships with. A life that moves exactly the way she designed it to move. She doesn't need to complicate that. ___ knows this.
She can't quite bring herself to be realistic about this, even if she has been realistic about way less complications in the past.
"What are you thinking about," he says, he needs to know just what sheâs thinking because he knows it canât be good.
She glances at him, he's looking ahead at the road, not at her, but his attention is entirely on her answer. "The tour," she says. Which is true but not all of it.
He nods, something in his jaw shifts slightly, the way it does when he's decided not to say something.
"Yoongi." "Mm."
"It's a long time to be away." "It is," he says, simply with no argument, he knows there isnât one.
The light turns green. "Do youâŚ" she starts and stops to try again "Is there ever a point where it gets easier? The coming back. Picking things back up."
He's quiet for a moment. "Depends what you're picking back up," he says.
She looks at him. He's still looking at his hand now and the city lights are moving across his face in slow intervals and she thinks distantly that this is an unreasonable amount of person to have discovered in an elevator.
She looks back out her window. "I'm not twenty anymore," she says, mostly to herself.
"Neither am I." "I mean-" she turns her rings once. "I used to be better at not thinking ahead."
"What do you see?" he asks. "When you think ahead." She's quiet for a long moment, outside Seoul continues, indifferent and bright.
"A very long tour schedule," she says finally. He exhales through his nose. Not quite a laugh, almost a laugh like heâs had this discussion before, "Yeah, thatâs just the first leg" he says quietly.
The car moves through the city and neither of them solves anything and somehow that's alright, the silence settling back around them like something they've agreed to for now, the kind of quiet that isn't an ending, just a pause.
The car stops outside her building and they both get out, the night air cool after the warmth of the car. She tilts her head back slightly to take in the street, familiar and quiet, and he falls into step beside her naturally, walking her to the entrance the way he'd stood up to walk her out of the green room.
They stop at the entrance. The streetlight catches everything, her hair, her rings, the white sneakers. He's still in his cap and mask pulled down, hands in his pockets, adjusting his cap without meaning to, forward, back, forward again.
Neither of them starts the conversation. She looks up at him and he looks somewhere just past her, and the comfortable quiet of the car has followed them out onto the pavement.
"I think we should go on a date," she says. He goes very still as his eyes find her.
"A real one." Even, practical, like she's proposing something with a clear agenda. "Before Japan. Before our rational sides catch up with us and decide this is a terrible idea." A beat. "An experiment. To find out if there's actually anything here before we decide there isn't."
He knows what he should say. He's been doing the math since the car, since she said mid June in the quiet way she said it. He knows what this looks like, the beginning of something, the successful experiment she's predicting, and he knows what comes after that too, what he'd be asking her to sign up for.
___ deserves someone who comes home on a regular basis. Yoongi knows this.
"You know it won't stop there," he says quietly. "If the experiment works."
"I know," she says. "The tour is-" "I know, Yoongi."
"I'm just saying you might-" "I know." She says it gently, firmly, the way she says things when she's already thought them through and doesn't need him to think them through on her behalf. "I'm aware of what I'm suggesting."
He looks at her for a long moment, the way sheâs fidgeting with her rings, "Okay," he says.
"Okay?" "One dinner." He holds her gaze. "Before Japan."
She nods once, that's when he looks down.
The height difference from here, standing on the pavement, is⌠notable. He does the mental calculation of exactly what his mother said and feels the smile coming.
"What," she says immediately. "Nothing." He presses his lips together and fails entirely. "My mother said you were short enough for me."
She stares at him. "She said that."
"Among other things." "Short enough for you," she repeats.
"Her words, not mine" "And what do you think?" He looks down at her from the full, considerable distance of his height, cap crooked, mask around his chin, and says with complete straightness,
"I think she was right."Â She laughs brightly and he lets himself smile properly this time, all the way, and for a moment they're just two people standing outside a building at midnight laughing about height and mothers and the specific absurdity of how they got here.
She steps back and looks up at him one last time. "Goodnight, Yoongi." "Goodnight, ___."
She turns and goes inside, the door closing quietly behind her, he stands there a moment longer than he needs to. Reaches up and adjusts his cap.
Gets back in the car and looks at the ceiling for a long moment, the city moving quietly around him.
He knows how this goes. He knows himself well enough to know that one dinner won't be one dinner, that the experiment is going to tell them both exactly what she predicted it would, and that she said I'm aware of what I'm suggesting with the confidence of someone who has never actually done this before. Not with someone like him. Not with a schedule like his.
She'll be realistic about it eventually. Everyone is, eventually. He just hopes she is the anomaly in the experiment that his dating history has been.
"-so you just decided, so young, that music was your calling?" "I didn't decide anything." He turns his glass slightly on the table, a small rotation, thinking about how to explain it to someone who hasn't lived it. "It was more likeâŚthe decision had already been made somewhere and I was just catching up to it."
She rests her chin in her hand, elbow on the table, the way she settles in when she's properly interested in something. She's been doing it on and off all evening and he's stopped pretending not to notice. "That's how it feels with the work I love too," she says. "Like you didn't choose it so much as recognize it."
He looks at her. "Exactly that." The restaurant is quiet around them, the kind of quiet that Tuesday buys you, a handful of other tables, low light, no one paying attention to anyone else.Â
"Okay," she says, picking up her glass. "Worst part of the job. Honestly." He thinks about it and she waits, turning the stem of her glass between her fingers, patient.
"The losing yourself of it," he says. "Not in a dramatic way. JustâŚ" he pauses. "You're performing a version of yourself for long enough and you start to lose track of where that version ends."
She's quiet for a moment. "Does it come back?" she asks. "The original version."
"I'm still figuring that out." She nods slowly, like she's filing that somewhere careful. Not with pity. He'd noticed pity immediately and she seems to know that.Â
"Your turn," he says. "People assume I do this because I come from money," she says, the same even tone she uses for everything. "That it's a hobby dressed up as a career. Something for a well bred woman" She pauses to take a sip of her wine. "I would have done this regardless of the money. The money just meant no one could stop me from starting early."
He nods. That he understands, the specificity of a thing choosing you rather than the other way around. She looks at him for a moment. Something shifts slightly in her expression, a decision being made.
"Can I ask you something personal?" she says. "Weâve been doing that for some time now" Yoongi notes with a light chuckle.
"More personal." He leans back slightly, arms loose. "Okay."
"Do you actually want this? Not the date, notâŚ" she gestures between them. "In general. A person. Do you want one or do you like the idea of wanting one?"
The table goes quiet. He looks at her steadily and she looks back, unhurried, leaving the question exactly where she put it.
"That's a good question," he says. "I know."
He takes a sip of his wine as he prepares to talk, "I miss it," he says simply, like something admitted for the first time in a while, to someone actually listening. "Having a girlfriend. Having someone who⌠knows your schedule well enough to know when you're tired before you say it. Someone to call when something happens. Good or bad." He pauses. "Someone to just, be there."
She's quiet as she leans in, like she wants him to know sheâs listening. "I've told myself that life makes it impossible," he continues. "And it's not untrue. It's hard, it's always been hard." He glances up at her. "But I think I've been using it as a reason not to try. Which is different from it actually being impossible."
"That's honest," she says. "You asked."
"I did." ___ says with a small smile. "Your turn. Same question."
She exhales softly, "Yes," she says, without hesitation, which means she's known it for a while. "I'm not complicated about it. I just want someone, I've always wanted someone." She turns her ring once. "I've just been spectacularly unlucky."
He looks at her., and then her glass, and then the residual of her lipstick on the glass, "Unlucky how?"
She laughs, short and genuine, the kind that comes from a story that has lost its sting and kept its absurdity. "The last person I was serious about decided to move to London for work and forgot to mention it until two weeks before he left." She picks up her fork. "Before that there was someone lovely in every way except that he was still in love with his ex. Which he also didn't mention."
"I have good instincts about art," she continues, "and terrible instincts about men. Which is a very specific combination of traits to be living withâ He presses his lips together, like heâs trying to suppress a smile.
"You can laugh," she says. "I'm not laughing."
"You're doing the thing where you're not laughing." He looks away briefly and then back at her, the wine really helping him look at her, "I'm not laughing at you."
"I know." She sets her fork down. "It's tiring, mostly. Being caught off guard by people when you're not someone who gets caught off guard easily."
The table settles into a quiet with something real in it now. The lightness still underneath but something more honest sitting on top as their plates get cleared, signaling a clear end to their date, or at least their time at the restaurant.Â
"How's the experiment going," he says, after a moment as he quietly places his card in the bill book.
She looks at him, steady and warm. "Terribly," she says with a pleasant smile.
He smiles into his glass. "Yeah," he says. "Same." Yoongi reaches into his pocket for his mask as they step outside, pulling it up with the practiced ease of someone who has done it ten thousand times, adjusting it once.
The street is empty and still. Tuesday midnight belongs to no one in particular. "I'll walk you home," he says, naturally, already falling into step beside her. âItâs a long walkâ ___ retorts as they walk, hands brushing every now and then.
âItâs a two minute walk ___â Yoongi offers plainly as he doesnât move away. They fall into step together and talk as they walk, nothing important, nothing that needs to be, she says something about a show she's been meaning to see, he says something about a track he's been sitting on for weeks, small things, the kind of conversation that exists just to keep the evening going a little longer.
Itâs all light and breezy till they reach a crossing, he reaches out and takes her hand. His hand just finds hers as they step off the curb, the way you do something you've been doing for years. Fingers wrapping around hers, already looking both ways, already moving.
She looks straight ahead, hoping her hair masks some of her blush. They cross, but he doesn't let go.
She doesn't say anything. Neither does he. They just keep walking, her hand in his, and she looks at the street ahead with the expression of someone being very deliberate about not smiling and not quite managing it.
He looks at the building and looks back at her. Her hand still in his, the evening sitting between them with nowhere left to go, he leaves for Japan tomorrow, the night air cool and still around them.
She tilts her head up at him. "Do you want to come up?" she says. "I have dessert. Ice cream" she says as she tries to tug her hand to gesture with her hand, which he doesnât let go.
He's looking at her with the particular expression she's learning, the one that isn't quite a smile but is adjacent to one, the one that lives mostly in his eyes, quiet and certain and slightly devastating at close range.
"Ice cream," he repeats. "Yes."
"What kind?" "Does it matter?"
He considers this with complete seriousness. "Somewhat."
"Yoongi." "I'm asking a reasonable question-"
"Come upstairs and find out," she says, and turns toward the entrance, and this time he lets her hand go, only to hold the door open for her, which she walks through without looking back at him because her face is still doing the thing and she needs another three seconds before she can be a normal person again.
Her apartment is exactly what he would have guessed and nothing he was fully prepared for.
Organized chaos, the particular kind that has a system even if the system isn't immediately visible. Paintings leaning against the walls in clusters, some framed, some not, some wrapped in brown paper with labels in her handwriting. Books on every surface, some closed, some splayed open face down. Magazines stacked in a way that suggests they're referenced rather than decorative.
It's lived in. Genuinely, thoroughly lived in, and it suits her so precisely. They end up on the sofa without deciding to, the way they keep ending up places without deciding to. Her legs tucked under her, turned slightly toward him. Him at the other end, bowl in hand, looking at the painting propped against the wall directly across from them.
They talk. The ice cream disappears somewhere in the middle of a conversation that moves from her uncle to his producing to a collector in Geneva who cried when she found him a specific work he'd been searching for for eleven years. He tells her about what it feels like when a track finally becomes what it was supposed to be. She listens the way she always listens, fully, without waiting for her turn.
It's past one when his phone lights up on the cushion between them. Mom.
She sees it the same moment he does. He reaches for it. "Pick up her phone," she says sternly, the tone of teasing right there.
"I'm not -" "Do not cut your poor motherâs phone, she might be sick and worried" ___ adds dramatically and he huffs and picks up the call anyway.
"Mom." "Where are you?" Sheâs wide awake, unbothered by the hour. "You're never out this late, are you sick-" "I'm not sick-"
"Have you eaten?" "I had dinner" "With who-"
___ opens her mouth with that same teasing smile and his hand moves before he's decided to move it, swift, certain, palm covering her mouth completely, cutting off whatever she was about to contribute to this situation as he closes the distance between them.
She goes still as he keeps his eyes forward, continuing the phone call, entirely composed. "With a friend, Mom, I'll be home soon"
___ looks up at him over his hand. She very aware, in the specific silence of having nothing to say because there is a hand preventing her from saying it, of his hands. The size of them. The warmth. The way it covers most of her lower face with a kind of easy certainty that she is finding deeply inconvenient given the current context of a first date and his mother on the phone and her own heartbeat which has made a unilateral decision she hasn't approved.
"You sound strange," his mother says. "I'm fine."Â
"Which friend?" "Mom -" ___ raises her eyebrows at him. He finally looks at her, briefly, and whatever he sees makes him look immediately back at the painting on the wall across the room.
His hand stays and she stays still beneath it.
"Come home soon," his mother says. "Soon," he confirms. "Go to sleep"
He hangs up with a huff and neither of them moves. His hand is still there, warm against her face, and the apartment is very quiet around them, the painting on the wall offering no commentary whatsoever.
Slowly, with the careful deliberateness of someone making a considered decision, he lowers it. She looks up at him. He looks back at her, right beside her.
"You were going to say something," he says shyly as his hand comes to rub his neck.
"I was going to be helpful," she says. "You were going to be a problem." "Same thing," she says with a smile, and her hands come up without much deliberation and fix his hair which the sudden movement moved out of place.
He goes very still, not uncomfortable. Just, very still. The way he goes still when something catches him off guard in a way he wasn't prepared to be caught. Her hand drops back down, briefly touching his thigh when she leaves them.
He's looking at her now, properly, the full direct version he allows himself in small increments, and from this close it's a lot. âI didn't expect to have this much fun," he confesses, his voice quieterl, like he's admitting something he hadn't planned to. "Not that I doubted you, I just-" he pauses, choosing the words carefully the way he does, "I haven't been on a first date this good in a while."
He looks at her when he says it, waiting for her reaction with the particular stillness of someone who has said a true thing and is now at the mercy of what happens next.
"I know," she says, and there's warmth in it, no teasing yet, just the honest version first. "I was kind of rooting for you to be this brooding, nonchalant musician, actually. Would have made it all much easier."
"Easier," he repeats. "To not like you," she says simply, reaching for her glass of wine. "I had a whole plan. You'd be aloof and a little difficult and I'd think, well, lovely person, interesting work, not for me." She takes a sip. "Very clean. Very uncomplicated."
"I almost cancelled," he says, after a moment. She raises an eyebrow. "Not because-" he stops, tries again. "I almost talked myself out of it. On the way over." He turns his glass slightly on the table, the small rotation she's noticed he does when he's thinking. "I do that. Find the practical reason not to."
"What changed your mind?" she asks. He's quiet for a moment, looks at the table, at his glass, briefly at her hands where they rest near her wine. âI really liked the feeling of seeing you after the concert," he says. Simply, without dressing it up, the way he says true things when he's decided to say them. He pauses. "I kept thinking about it on the drive over and I couldn't find a practical reason that was bigger than that."
She looks at him for a moment, this careful, deliberate man who thinks before he speaks and means everything he says and had apparently spent an entire car ride arguing with himself about her and lost. "The feeling of seeing me," she repeats, softly.
"Yes," he says. He's looking at her now, noticing how she looks in these dim lights.
They talk for a while, about something and nothing in particular, the night settling into the easy rhythm that has become theirs without either of them formally deciding. She tells him about an artist she'd found earlier in the year, eccentric beyond what that word usually covers, a man who'd moved deep into the woods over concerns about wifi radiation and could only be reached by a forty minute hike up an unmarked trail. "I showed up in the wrong shoes," she says, gesturing at her feet like the memory is still personal. "He didn't apologize. Just handed me a cup of something that tasted like tea and started showing me the work." She pauses. "It was extraordinary. The work, not the tea, the tea made me sick."
He's smiling properly now, elbow on the sofa back, chin in his hand, watching her the way he watches things he finds genuinely interesting. "Did you sign him?"Â
"I'm working on it," she says. "He doesn't have a phone so it's mostly letters." A beat. "Actual letters. With stamps." He laughs, low and warm, and she tucks her feet further under her, satisfied.
He talks about tour, stories that surface easily now in the comfortable quiet of her living room, the way they don't always in interviews or in rooms full of people waiting for something quotable. A night in SĂŁo Paulo where the rain came down so hard they could hear it over the speakers and the crowd stayed anyway, every single person, standing in it. The particular feeling, he says, quieter now, of standing in the wings before a show when everyone is there together, all seven of them, and the noise of the crowd coming through the walls like something alive.
"You miss them," she says, not a question. "It's different performing without all of them," he says simply. "It'll be good to be back."
She looks at him for a moment, the lamp throwing everything soft and warm, his profile against the dark of the window, the city quiet beyond the glass. She's been thinking about something, something which is a lot to ask on a first date, but asks anyway.
"How does it work?" she says. "A relationship. With you on tour." She says it evenly, no weight of accusation in it, just the genuine question, the one that has been sitting underneath the whole evening. "Practically. What does it actually look like?"
He's quiet for a moment, turning his glass slowly. "A lot of texts," he says. "Voice notes when there's time. Video calls that get cut short because of schedules." He pauses. "Having them fly out for tour dates, as often as I can, as much as they can" He looks at the glass, talking in hypotheticals.Â
âThe hardest part isn't the being away," he continues. "It's not being there for the small things. The ordinary ones." He glances up at her briefly. "Someone has a bad day and you're in a different timezone and a text isn't the same as being there."
She's quiet for a moment, turning her ring. "No," she agrees. "It isn't."
"I'm not going to pretend it's easy," he says, and she can hear the care in it, the way he's choosing honesty over reassurance because he thinks she deserves the honest version. "It asks a lot of the other person."
"It asks a lot of both people," she says. He looks at her then. "You'd be the one leaving," she continues. "That's not nothing either." He holds her gaze for a moment, something shifting slightly in his expression, like she's said something he hadn't expected to be said. "No," he says quietly. "It's not."
Itâs about three am when Yoongi yawns for the first time, ___ chuckles as she stands up, theyâve talked for a while, they could keep going, but he also leaves for the tour tomorrow.
âWhat time do you leave tomorrow?â ___ asks as she walks over to the kitchen and refills her glass, âAround 7 pmâ Yoongi says as he checks his watch, very aware of the time. He stands up, swiftly putting on his jacket.
âI should go, we both have stuff in the morningâ He says as he stands awkwardly, he isnât sure how to say goodbye, or if he even wants to.
âYeahâŚyeah we doâ The silence that follows is different from the ones before. He shifts slightly, hands sliding into his pockets, then out again, like he canât quite decide what to do with them.
Heâs not usually like this, but thereâs something about this, about her, thatâs throwing off his usual rhythm.
âTonight wasâŚâ he starts, then stops, he exhales lightly, glancing away for a second before meeting her eyes again. âA successful experimentâ ___ adds as she walks over, stopping just a few steps away from him.
â___,â he starts again, quicker this time, like if he hesitates he wonât say it at all. âIâd like to see you again.â
The words land between them, steady but unpolished, so painfully honest. âMy life is complicated,â he continues, glancing at her briefly before looking back, like heâs choosing not to hide behind anything. âBut I feel like weâve got something good.â
He pauses there, watching her, trying to read her before he goes any further. He continues quietly, âsomething realâ
For a second, she just looks at him, and then her smile grows. âI was hoping youâd say that,â she admits, closing the small distance between them.
Now theyâre close, closer than before, close enough that she can see the growing blush on his face, âBecause I was about to say the same thing.â
That catches him off guard, just slightly, his expression shifting to relief and something more warm. âGood,â he says, softer now.
âYou know,â she adds lightly, her voice dropping just a little, âfor an experiment, this went pretty well.â
âMm.â âAlmost like we should repeat it.â
That earns the faintest hint of a smile from him. âI was planning on it.â
Her eyes flick briefly to his lips before returning to his eyes, the movement subtle and quick, but not quick enough to escape him, and in that fleeting moment something in him settles, something quiet but certain, like a decision finally catching up to a feeling heâs been circling all night.
His hand lifts again, more deliberate this time, coming to rest at her waist, fingers curling slightly as if heâs grounding himself, or maybe holding onto the moment just a little longer, like heâs aware of how easily it could slip past them if he rushes it.
He doesnât rush, and he doesnât overthink it either, which for him is saying something, because thereâs usually a pause, a calculation, a reason to hold back, but not now.
He stops just short of her, close enough that the space between them feels intentional rather than hesitant, close enough to feel the warmth of her breath, to give her the chance to pull away if she wants to, to change her mind, to set the boundary before he crosses it.
But she doesnât, instead, she closes that last bit of distance herself, leaning in just slightly, just enough to meet him halfway, and thatâs all the confirmation he needs.
When he kisses her, itâs softer than expected, not because heâs unsure, but because heâs choosing to be careful with it, choosing to let it build rather than take, and thereâs something in that restraint that makes it feel more intentional, more real.
Her hand comes up almost immediately, pressing lightly against his chest, not to stop him but to steady herself, or maybe to feel something tangible in the middle of everything that suddenly feels a little too charged, a little too new.
And thatâs what shifts it, that simple contact. It deepens the kiss, not dramatically, not all at once, but enough to change it from something tentative into something that lingers, something that holds, something that neither of them seems in a hurry to end.
___ didnât know how to feel when Yoongi sent her the flight tickets. She isnât even sure if theyâre in a relationship, how does one qualify this as a relationship when it went from a phenomenal first date to flying across continents for the second one.
Theyâve been constantly in touch with each other, texting, calling, even video calling a few rare times, each sending pictures from their day, and usually ___ would have classified this as something too difficult for 31 and moved on, but heâs just charmed her. His soft laughter, sending her flowers to the gallery, song samples that he genuinely wants her thoughts on.Â
She's found herself laughing into her phone more than she has in recent memory. While she drives to work and he's somewhere between cities, still half asleep, voice low and unhurried. While he eats dinner and she scrapes together a lunch at her desk, their schedules overlapping in whatever small window the timezones allow. The video call where he talked her through using a power drill for twenty minutes with the focused patience of someone who genuinely could not rest until she could hang the paintings in her living room.
___ pushes all the doubts aside as she moves through the airport, itâs still early morning and a significant amount at the San Francisco airport. ___ spots Mr Shin right away, Yoongiâs manager standing there with a warm smile as he waves his hands to greet her.Â
"Morning, Ms. Lee." He's quick, stepping forward to take her bag before she's even fully registered the intention. "How was the flight? Did you eat?" "I'm fine, really-" but the bag is already gone, and he's already moving, and she has learned enough about the people in Yoongi's orbit to know that efficiency is a personality trait they share collectively. She falls into step beside him.
The car is black, tinted, parked just beyond the terminal in the kind of spot that suggests someone made a phone call. Mr. Shin rounds the front of it and she follows, and that's when she sees him.
Yoongi is standing on the far side of the car, away from the flow of arrivals, away from the small clusters of people watching the arrivals gate. He's in a cap and a mask, hands in the front pocket of his hoodie, she isnât sure if heâs smiling, but his eyes light up for sure.Â
She stops for just a second. Then she keeps walking and he straightens slightly, the way he does when he's trying to look like he wasn't just waiting, and she would tease him about it if her own face wasn't currently doing something she'd prefer it didn't.
"Hi," she says, stopping in front of him. "Hi." His eyes move over her briefly, the way they do, quick and considered. âLong flight?" Yoongi asks, almost instinctively taking the massive handbag from her hand, their fingers brush, the simple touch is enough to wake him up.
âYeah, there was so much turbulence, I didnât get a minute's sleepâ ___ shares as they stand a few steps away from each other, none of them ready to be bold this morning. âHow do you look this beautiful after fourteen hours of no sleep?â Yoongi comments, a compliment filled with genuine curiosity.
___ blinks once. Then she breaks into that familiar laughter, the real one, sudden and unguarded, her hand coming up to hit his arm softly. "That's not-" she starts, still laughing, shaking her head. "You can't just say things like that."
"I'm just asking," he says, and he's smiling now too, the full version, the one that takes over his whole face when he's not paying attention to stopping it. "You're not just asking, you're-" she gestures vaguely at him, at the general situation, at whatever this is, and he watches her do it with quiet satisfaction.Â
âMr Min, weâre ready to leaveâ Mr Shin speaks before he gets into the driver seat, theyâre in the car quickly, ___ is the first to yawn then Yoongi when she laughs again, there isnât much being said, both of them just glad to be in each otherâs presence.
âIs there anything specific you want to do before you fly to LA?â Yoongi asks after three complete minutes of silence, he has five days before their dates in Stanford, but ___ has combined this trip with some work trip.
âGolden gate bridge for sure, lots of coffeeâ ___ talks as she looks ahead at the GPS, itâs going to be thirty minutes till they reach the hotel, âand eat all the food we can in Chinatownâ she turns to face him, Yoongi is currently taking very serious mental notes, hoping he remembers this all.Â
"Everything," she adds, because she means it. "Dim sum, noodles, everything." "Everything," he repeats, solemnly, like he's committing it to memory.
The city slides past in the early grey light, the fog sitting low over everything, soft and unhurried. ___'s exhausted in the particular way that crosses the point of feeling like exhaustion and becomes something closer to weightlessness, the fourteen hours and the turbulence and the airport and the adrenaline all catching up at once now that she's finally still.
He's warm beside her, warm and solid and here, actually here, not a voice through a speaker or a name on a screen, and she is tired enough and brave enough that when her head tips sideways and finds his shoulder.Â
âIs this the shoulder with the surgery?â ___ snaps out of it, lifting her head slightly just to confirm things. Yoongi is still for a second, "No," he murmurs. His arm comes around her, slow and easy, like it's the most natural thing, settling at her back with a gentleness that she feels all the way through the exhaustion.Â
âIâm glad youâre here,â Yoongi shares a few moments later, knowing sheâs fully awake. âEven more glad that you can stay a monthâ he murmurs softly into her hair as his hand gently rubs her shoulder. Her hand finds the fabric of his hoodie, fingers curling lightly against it, too tired to talk. Yoongi rests his cheek gently against the top of her head and looks at the road ahead with the expression of a man who is trying very hard not to think about how much he already doesn't want this month to end.Â
___ feels like a zombie dragging herself, barely awake yet fully awake, full of food, desserts and coffee that they kept stuffing each other with. Yoongi walks back to the park bench, water in hand and he too feels like heâs ready to call quits on the day even if itâs only 6 pm yet.Â
âYou donât look too well, do you have a fever?â Yoongi asks as he hands her the bottle, wiping his hand against his jeans before checking her temperature. ___ almost immediately falls into his touch, her eyes closing, her whole body leaning slightly into his hand like she's been needing to rest against something for a while now and this is close enough.Â
"I am just-" she starts, then stops, organizing her words with some effort. "I can see how much you've planned, I know you looked things up and I know you had the whole route figured out and I genuinely loved today, all of it, the food and all of it-" she opens her eyes and looks at him, earnest despite the exhaustion, "-but can we just go back to the hotel and sleep." A pause. "You should stay out," she adds, because she means it, "get some air, do something, I just really really need to crash."
He looks at her for a long moment. His hand has moved from her forehead to the back of her neck, resting there lightly, and she hasn't moved away from it. âLet me call a car, we can go to that restaurant some other timeâ he whispers mostly to himself as ___ sighs with relief, going back to resting against the bench back.Â
âI promise Iâll be a lot more fun tomorrow morning, I just need to sleepâ ___ mumbles and Yoongi canât help but be fascinated by this new side to her, the extremely exhausted that makes her whiny. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" he asks, looking at her sideways, and his arm comes around her naturally, his hand finding her far shoulder and drawing her back toward him, her head settling against him with the ease of something practiced.
"I hadn't seen you in so long," she says finally, her voice quiet and honest, the filter that exhaustion removes making everything simpler. "I didn't want to waste time sleeping."
He goes still, not visibly, not in any way she'd catch in the state she's in, but something in him just stops for a moment and sits with that. âPlease just tell me the next time youâre too tiredâ Yoongi pleads as a car rolls in, hoping itâs theirs.
"Come on," he says gently, standing and bringing her with him, his hand steady at her back. She goes without complaint, leaning into his side, and he keeps his arm around her as they walk toward the car, her steps slow and his matching them without thinking about it.Â
âAre you sure you donât want to eat anything? Room service? Have food picked up?â Yoongi talks as he swipes the key card, âI canât, I feel nauseous alreadyâ ___ answers with great delay as she picks up the pace, walking up to it but struggling to open it.
âNeed any help?â Yoongi asks and ___ simply nods walking to the washroom, she is optimizing the time, going straight to washing up while Yoongi finds her pyjamas. He helps her out, wiping her face that she left damp, helping her remove her rings and watch, and is almost fascinated by the speed in which she gets into bed.Â
Yoongi slips into bed approximately twenty minutes later, hoping sheâs already asleep and it seems to be true until she stirs towards him. âI am so sorryâ ___ mumbles and Yoongiâs eyebrows knit as she moves even closer, or he does, Yoongiâs not sure.
â___ you flew across continents for me, youâre allowed to be tiredâ Yoongi speaks softly, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. âI know, itâs just that I thought weâd be having sex and instead weâre falling asleep at 6 pmâ she speaks against his arm and something in his chest does a complicated thing and he presses his lips together and looks at the ceiling for a moment, and the laugh that comes out of him is low and quiet and completely helpless, the kind that sneaks up on him.Â
âWe have an entire monthâ Yoongi reassures her, he isnât sure what the move is, this is technically their second date, but he also wants to cuddle her, maybe even kiss her if he could be just a bit braver. âI counted, and with your work and mine, we only have 17 days togetherâ
He pulls her in, properly, his arm coming around her, and she goes without stirring, fitting against him with the ease of something that has been doing this for years instead of days.
"Seventeen days is a lot," he says softly, into her hair. She makes a small sound, almost agreement, almost already dreaming. âWe can still have a lot of fun, just tell me the next time youâre tired like this" he says, quieter now, his head leaning down but ___ seems to be fast asleep against his chest.Â
Yoongi has rules about this sort of thing. No sleeping in the same bed before the fifth date. No inviting someone on tour before you're actually together. No cuddling before, he looks down at her, well.
He looks back at the ceiling. The rules were built for a specific kind of situation. A careful, sensible situation where feelings arrived in an orderly fashion. The rules had not accounted for ___ specifically, which in retrospect was a significant oversight in the design.
He exhales slowly, a bit scared of how much heâs already feeling but also very excited but it all, no one has been like her, sheâs truly the anomaly to the experiment.Â
âCome here, we should take pictures together as wellâ ___ gestures towards Yoongi who turns towards his security personnel with her phone. Sheâs banned pictures on his samsung, something about them just not looking right. Yoongi jogs beside her, the sun peaking through the golden gate bridge, the soft morning glow on her face, he canât help but smile.
âYou look very pretty in the morningâ Yoongi compliments her, posing awkwardly beside each other. âYou think I look pretty after a 14 hour flight, I donât trust youâ ___ teases as she shifts closer, the security guard continuing to take pictures.
âWell youâre always pretty to me,â Yoongi continues nonchalantly, like this is the most natural thing in the world, ___âs blush growing deeper. âAm I just that, arm candy Yoongi-si?â ___ teases as she looks up at him.
âWell that, also you're so terrifyingly confident and smart, so kind,â Yoongi says, his fingers intertwining with hers. âWow, Iâm arm candy for BTSâs Suga, Iâve finally made it in lifeâ ___ jokes, mostly because she doesnât want to process the other compliments he gave her.
"Okay," the security guard calls out, "I think I got some good ones." "Thank you," ___ calls back, and her voice only wavers slightly. Yoongi squeezes her hand once, still not looking at her, and starts back down the path, pulling her gently with him, away from the rocky terrain, his grip sure and unhurried.
âSo, you fly to LA tomorrow morning?â Yoongi confirms as he drys his hair, he finds ___ staring at her phone intently, like sheâs overanalysing something. â___?â he calls her again, walking closer. Yoongi sees her shuffling through the pictures from the golden gate bridge, stuck at one particular one where heâs looking at her instead of facing forward.
He sits down on the edge of the bed beside her. She looks up at him, then at the photo, then back at him. "What are we?" she asks. Not confrontational, not loaded, just genuinely asking, the way she asks things she actually wants answered.
He looks at her with the expression of someone who finds the question slightly puzzling. "What do you mean?" "I mean-" she gestures between them, "us. This. What is this."
"I'm your boyfriend," he says, simply, with complete confidence, the way he'd say something obvious, like the name of a street or the time of a flight. Then he tilts his head slightly, reading her face. "Was that not clear?"
She stares at him, â___ I begged you to join me for the tour, why would I do that? I didn't think we were dating?â Yoongi speaks, the towel coming up to her hair to dry it instead. âSo, youâve not brought girls around when they were just a fling?â ___ deflects again, teasing now that sheâs gotten the answer sheâs wanted.
âNoâ he says, flatly, no elaboration, the kind of no that closes a door completely. He keeps drying her hair, unbothered, and she lets him, looking up at him from where she's sitting, close enough now to see everything his face is doing in the quiet of the room.Â
âDid you really think we were a fling or something, whatâs it called now?â Yoongi stops to think for a second, âA situationship?â his amused tone is not helping the laughter escaping ___, her falling flat on the bed.Â
âYou grandpa, how do you know what that even is?â âJungkookâs love live is complicatedâ Yoongi answers, pulling her up, but ___ just pulls him with her. She reaches up and pushes his damp hair back from his forehead, slow and deliberate, and he stays completely still beneath it, watching her, and when she doesn't move her hand away he turns his head slightly into it, just barely, just enough.
The kiss starts soft and then doesn't stay that way, his hand finding her waist, pulling her closer with the quiet certainty of someone who has wanted to do this all day and has run out of reasons not to. She goes willingly, her fingers curling into his shirt, unbuttoning his shirt almost immediately as his hands wander, his fingers running the length of her thighs, stopping just to pull her back up.
âHey, you canât do thatâ ___ complaints as Yoongi successfully makes her stand up, they have dinner reservations with the members in less than thirty minutes. âWhat? I didnât do anything?â Yoongi answers with great restraint, knowing exactly what he just pulled.
âYou know exactly what you just did Mr Minâ ___ whines, going back to getting ready, very slowly putting on each piece of jewellery. âI kinda like being called Mr Minâ Yoongi confesses as he watches her though the mirror, and the devious smile that immediately graces her lips scares him a bit.Â
âOh, do you Mr. Min?â ___ teases turning around, her blouse coming off in one swift motion. She's looking at him with the expression of a woman who has just evened a score and knows it, perfectly composed, completely unbothered.Â
He looks at her, at the blouse on the floor, at her as she snaps off her bra in one swift motion, just standing there in a mini-skirt. "That's not fair," Yoongi mutters weakly, his eyes trailing all over her, clearly losing this as ___ pushes him back onto the bed.Â
"Isn't it?" she says pleasantly, her hands moving quickly to unbutton his trousers. âHow about, for the little move you pulled earlier, I just do this for a second and get dressed again?â ___âs voice is low as her hands rub against his bulge.Â
âThatâs just meanâ Yoongi whines, propping himself against his arm, completely helpless to her whims as her soft hands wander, pulling his briefs low, âNo whatâs meaner is you pulling away after making me think youâre going to finger meâ ___ complaints as Yoongi lets out a soft moan, her hand rubbing down his length.
âI am so sorry okay, but please keep goingâ Yoongi barely gets the words out as ___ gently kisses his tip. âNow what should we do, should I suck your dick or should we get dressed for dinner?â ___ knows theyâre not making dinner when Yoongi moans a quiet please.Â
Yoongiâs phone is going off on the nightstand, as Yoongi pulls ___ back to the bed, sheâs spent far too much time on her knees and he needs to be inside her. âDarling you are so wet alreadyâ Yoongi murmurs in her ears as his nimble fingers rub in a circle. âStop fucking teasing meâ ___ whines, pushing his fingers inside her.
___âs breathless, so close to climax as Yoongiâs fingers keep going in a steady motion, no matter how much she wants, he refuses to pick up the pace, taking his sweet time. His phone rings just as ___ is shaking in his arms, the waves of orgasm sending shockwaves through her but Yoongi just keeps going.
Yoongi sighs with frustration as his phone rings once again, âStay quiet, just for a minuteâ Yoongi mumbles, his fingers still going as ___ kisses his neck just to keep quiet. âJimin-ah, we canât make it, ___âs sickâ Yoongi talks with a devious smile on his lips as ___ takes a sharp breath.
âHyung be better with the excuses at least,â Jimin teases and Yoongi chuckles, âI swear, sheâs not well, sheâs been in bed all eveningâ Yoongi talks and ___ lightly bites his neck, so close once again.Â
âAlright, if sheâs sick, I hope she feels betterâ Jimin talks and all Yoongi does is hum as he ends the call. âYouâre going to leave a hickeyâ Yoongi complains but ___ just cradles in his lap, facing him now, quickly putting on a condom.
âMaybe you shouldnât have stopped to pick up a callâ ___ continues biting where she was as Yoongi thrusts inside her, the motion sending her in a frenzy as he just keeps going, slow and soft. âMaybe you shouldnât have taken off your topâ Yoongi teases, steadying her in his arms, the glow on her face, how her hair keeps sticking everywhere, he could get used to this view.
âMaybe you shouldnât have teased-â ___ stops talking as Yoongi picks up the pace, arching back with pleasure, Yoongiâs takes a sharp breath, âAre you close, I am so-â Yoongi nods, biting her lower lip, kissing her rapidly as they orgasm. ___âs limbs give out, both of them falling back into bed.Â
She reaches up and traces the line of his jaw lightly, just because she can, just because she's allowed to now, and he closes his eyes briefly beneath it. âI donât think I can walk Mr Minâ ___ teases, pulling the sheets over herself. âYou are beautifulâ Yoongi notes as he turns to face her, her cheeks still flush as they both continue to catch their breaths.
âSo are youâ ___âs voice is uncharacteristically shy as he pulls the sheet even higher, âI am beautiful?â Yoongi teases, his breath finally even. âYes, youâre also so buff, where did those arms come from?â ___ talks, running a hand over her heart, trying to calm herself down.Â
âAre you okay? Just give me a few seconds and Iâll get you some waterâ Yoongi mumbles, tucking her hair away, itâs gotten significantly longer since the first time he saw her, reaching her shoulders now. âI am fine, but you were great, reallyâ ___ talks, shuffling closer till sheâs firmly resting against his chest.Â
âAnd you are so evil, but also so amazing, taking off your top and we just derail our evening like thisâ Yoongi talks and he can feel her laughing before he hears it. He pauses and looks down at the top of her head. "I had a plan for this evening," he continues..
She tilts her chin up to look at him, her eyes still warm with laughter, her cheek pressed against his chest. "Was this better than the plan?"
He meets her eyes. Looks away and looks back. "Don't," he says. "Was it?" "You're so smug," he tells her.
"Yoongi-si" "Significantly better than the plan," he admits, quietly, which is the most she's going to get and she knows it and takes it anyway, her smile pressing into his chest as she settles back down. His hand keeps moving at her back, slow and easy.
___ goes around the apartment, picking up after herself. She really needs a cleaning lady or move because the mess around her apartment has only grown over the last six months. Her jobâs always involved some travel, with a boyfriend on tour sheâs been away even more and she doesnât even remember the last time she was in the guest room.
___âs also cleaning because Yoongi is finally going to be back at home for a month, and the last time he was here he spent half the time helping her clean. She dials his number as she moves through laundry, but when the call doesnât go through she just assumes heâs flying home, the last concert before the break was yesterday morning.
Yoongi: Iâve sent a few desserts your home as consolation for not being there to celebrate your birthday tonight, he should be there in 20ish minutes
Yoongi: Are you even home?
___: I am home, Iâm not feeling the best and my apartment needed some TLC
___: You didnât have to send anything, youâll be here tomorrow anyway
Yoongi: Not feeling well? Oh, the first week of the month⌠you absolutely need desserts
___: Are you tracking my period?
___: Itâs kinda cute but I donât think I ever told you that explicitly?
Yoongi: We started fighting around the same day each month and I connected the dots
___: Are you saying that I pick pointless fights around my birthday? Because thatâs rude
Yoongi: Darling, last month we fought about if a window should be opened or not and then you cried when I very gently explained why it needs to be opened for airflow
___: This feels like weâre fighting about a fight, am I that irrational on my period?
Yoongi: I donât care, all those hormonal changes and pain would make anyone irrational
Yoongi: Just rest till the desserts arrive, I kinda like organizing your mess
___: Itâs not my mess, itâs organized chaos
Yoongi: An organized mess where I canât find the salt in the kitchen
___: okay, itâs a mess
___ goes back to cleaning when her phone doesnât buzz for a while, Yoongi must have gotten busy with something, so does she as he hauls her laundry over the sofa. Sheâs mid-folding when the bell rings, for a woman living alone she should have checked through the peephole before swinging the door open.
But sheâs kinda glad she didnât, because the sheer surprise she feels at the view of her boyfriend standing outside with flowers and his carry-on dropped to his feet. âSurprise!â he musters up all his energy for that, engulfing her in a tight hug as he finally takes a deep breath.
âOh my god, I thought you were flying tomorrow?â ___ talks into his jacket, momentarily lifting her face, only to be hugged tighter. âI didnât want to arrive tomorrow and be groggy and tired on your birthdayâ Yoongi talks into her hair, taking a long whiff of her hair.Â
âSo you flew directly after the concert?â âWho cares about the logistics, the important thing is that I am hereâ Yoongi talks as he finally detaches, taking a long look at her as he smiles widely. ___ intertwines their hands, leading him in and giving him approximately two seconds to drop all his stuff before she holds his face, itâs been too long since theyâve kissed.Â
"I missed you so-" she says between kisses, soft and unhurried, her thumbs against his jaw, "-so much, and I love you so so much and you're like the best boyfriend ever-"
He makes a sound against her mouth that is warm and amused and tired all at once, his hands finding her waist, pulling her closer with the ease of something practiced, and she can feel him smiling into the kiss which makes her smile too, which makes kissing considerably more difficult and neither of them minds.
"Best boyfriend ever," he repeats, pulling back just enough to look at her, his eyes barely open from exhaustion, red rimmed from the flight and the concert and the night in between. "I also did a bunch of shopping for you at duty free. Does that get me any brownie points?â Yoongi asks his eyes trailing down the white dress she always wears just at home.
His eyes trail down the white dress she always wears at home, the one he's come to associate with her off days, her genuinely-at-rest days, the version of her that exists only in her own apartment with no clients to see and nowhere to be.
"Honey, baby, sugar plum buttercup-" she takes his face in her hands again, very seriously, "-that gets you so many brownie points, but you have got to stop spending so much money on me." She pushes her hair out of her face with one hand, still not used to the new cut, the layers falling everywhere, doing whatever they want.
"Why?" Yoongi says. He pouts, she's too busy dealing with the direct effect of it. "I have too much money to spend in a lifetime. I should spoil my girlfriend after being away for so long."
"Yoongi-" "Six weeks," he says. "Six weeks, one day, and-" he checks some internal calculation, "-about fourteen hours."
She stares at him. "You counted." "I'm just saying the math supports the duty free shopping." He reaches up and pushes the layered hair from her face himself, tucking it behind her ear the way he always does, watching it fall forward again immediately. His hand stays at her jaw. "I like the haircut."
"It does whatever it wants," she says, slightly mournfully. "I know." He tucks it back again, pointlessly. "I like it." She looks at him, at the exhaustion and the pout and the hand at her jaw and the duty free bags presumably somewhere in the carry-on she hasn't let him unpack yet, and she thinks that she has been thoroughly swooned by a man who is barely conscious.
"You're impossible," she says. "I love youâ Yoongi states simply, the same way he did earlier this year in Paris. He just blurted it out one morning while leaving for rehearsal, never making a big deal out of it, like it was the most natural thing for him to say.
âAre you sure that you want to go on a trip before the last leg of the tour? Youâll be exhausted from travelling by then?â ___ talks through her airpod, her phone still somewhere in her purse as she continues to get the gallery ready for an event.Â
âWe havenât just gone on a vacation just for us, itâs always been us trying to piece together a few days between the tour, thatâs not a real vacationâ Yoongi retorts as he sits down to get ready for the first Bangkok show. âThere must be somewhere you want to go?â He continues already having shortlisted a few options.
âOh this client last week was telling me about this amazing Maldives resort he went to, itâs so beautiful and privateâ ___ talks, fixing a few frames that still need to be put up. âHe? Are you sure he was telling or was he offering?â Yoongi teases and ___ sighs. âI work in art, Yoongi,â ___ says. âDo you know how many men have tried to flirt with me by explaining private islands?â
He huffs out a laugh, the one that always sounds slightly disbelieving, like amusement caught him off guard. She can picture it immediately despite not being able to see him, head tipped back slightly in the makeup chair, phone balanced in one hand while someone fixes his hair.
âAnd?â he asks. âAnd what?â âDid the resort at least look nice?â
âOh, unbelievable.â She bends to pick up a stack of exhibition cards from the floor. âWhite sand. Crystal water. Villas with pools bigger than my apartment.â
âSee?â he says immediately. âYou want to go.â She smiles despite how much they shouldnât do this. âI want to sleep,â she corrects. âYouâll be exhausted, Iâll probably have three openings back to back by then, and weâll spend the entire trip unconscious.â
âYou know,â he says after a moment, quieter now as the backstage noise fades slightly, âI think I miss you best when Iâm tired.â Her hands still briefly over the stack of cards.
Itâs such a Yoongi sentence, not dramatic or casual. Just honest in that careful devastating way he has. âWhat does that even mean,â she asks softly.
âI donât know.â She hears movement, fabric shifting, maybe him leaning back in the chair. âWhen Iâm busy I can ignore it because everythingâs moving all the time. Schedules, rehearsals, flights. But when I get tired enough that my brain finally shuts up a littleâŚâ A pause. âYouâre kind of the first thing I look for.â
âHoney you canât just say stuff like that when I miss you like crazyâ ___ speaks softly, all she wants is to see him, feel him, sheâs just been missing him. Something in his chest pulls tight in that quiet painful way longing sometimes does when it lands at the wrong time of day.Â
âYesterday I was walking back home and all these couples were out,â she continues, absentmindedly straightening a stack of gallery brochures as she talks. âGetting dinner, holding hands, arguing about where to go, normal boring couple things.â A small laugh escapes her. âAnd I just kept wishing you were there.â
He looks down at the floor for a second. Thereâs always a specific kind of helplessness that comes with tour. Heâs learned to live with it, mostly. The missing, the leaving, the constant temporary nature of things.Â
âWhat would we have been doing?â he asks quietly. She smiles immediately at the question, hearing what it really is beneath it.Â
âProbably arguing.â âAbout?â
âYou refusing to let me smoke.â âYou shouldnât smoke.â
âYou sound eighty years old.â âYou cough for three business days afterward.â
âThatâs not the point.â She walks toward the back office, lowering her voice instinctively once sheâs away from the staff. âMaybe weâd stop for tteokbokki.â
âYou always want tteokbokki at night.â âBecause it tastes better at night.â
âThatâs scientifically untrue.â She laughs softly, and he feels some invisible tension in himself ease at the sound. âAnd then,â she continues, settling into the fantasy now, âyouâd insist on walking me home even though your place is in the opposite direction.â
âI would.â âI know.â Her voice gentles around the words. âThatâs the problem.â
The thing about Yoongi is that he loves in practical ways first. Walking someone home. Buying three coffees because he doesnât know which one they like. Remembering flight times. Sending weather screenshots. Calling managers to make impossible schedules work. But distance makes practical love difficult.Â
Distance leaves him with words instead, and heâs still learning what to do with those. âI miss you too,â he says finally, the sentence low and steady and entirely unprotected. âMore than I thought I would.âÂ
___ leans back against the desk behind her, eyes closing briefly. âCome home soon,â she murmurs.
Thereâs a long pause on his end, âIâm trying,â he says quietly, and she can hear the exhaustion underneath it now, the real one he saves mostly for her. âI think if I stay away from you much longer Iâm going to start doing irrational things.â
She smiles immediately. âLike?â Another pause, she can practically hear him debating whether to say it.
âLooking at apartments closer to your gallery.â Her breath catches before she can stop it. Yoongi rubs his arm, not knowing if heâs said something utterly stupid, âSomething for us maybe, Iâve just made one searchâ he continues honestly and ___ canât help the tears welling in her eyes.Â
On the other end Yoongi immediately notices the quiet stretching too long. âHey,â he says softly, sitting up properly now. âI didnât mean it like-â He rubs at the back of his neck, suddenly uncertain. âIâm not trying to pressure you or anything, I thought itâd be easier if I was closer to your gallery and then-â
He stops himself, heâs rambling. Which sheâs realizing is rare enough from him that it almost makes her cry harder. âIt was stupid,â he says quickly, already retreating from the admission. âForget I said anything.â
___ lets out a wet laugh despite herself, shaking her head immediately even though he canât see it.
âNo,â she says quietly. âNo, donât do that.â He goes still. Thereâs noise around him again now, staff moving in and out, someone asking about wardrobe changes, but heâs listening to her so fully itâs almost tangible through the phone.
âI justâŚâ She exhales shakily, pressing the heel of her hand briefly against her eyes. âYou caught me off guard.â
âWith the apartment thing?â âYes, Yoongi, with the apartment thing,â she says with a laugh threaded through the emotion now. âYou canât casually mention moving in together while Iâm actively suffering from how much I miss youâ
He thinks about all the versions of them that exist lately only in transition. Her half asleep face on facetime at two in the morning while heâs eating room service in another timezone. Her voice breaking apart through bad hotel wifi. Him landing in Seoul already calculating how many hours they get before one of them leaves again.
This, exactly, was why he didnât want a girlfriend. Not because he didnât want love. Because he knew what happened when love had to survive logistics. Because somewhere deep down he understood that eventually another person would have to start structuring their loneliness around his schedule.
He drags a hand slowly over his mouth. âI used to think,â he talks carefully, âthat if I never let myself really build something serious then maybe I could avoid doing this to someone.â A small humorless laugh escapes him. âVery logical solution. Very emotionally healthy.â
âYoongiâŚâ âNo, itâs true.â He rubs at his arm absently now, exhaustion making him honest in that dangerous way it always does. âI know what this life feels like from the inside. I know how disappointing it can be sometimes.â His jaw shifts slightly. âMissing birthdays. Leaving dinners early. Watching someone you love get used to being alone.â
The gallery office suddenly feels too small around her. Because she can hear it now beneath everything heâs saying. Not fear of commitment, but the fear of becoming absent.
âI remember telling my mother I didnât have time for a girlfriend,â he says quietly, a faint disbelieving smile touching his voice now. âAnd I meant it. I really did.â He pauses. âI think I thought wanting someone badly enough would just make the impossible parts hurt more.â
âAnd does it?â she asks softly. The room goes quiet on his end for a moment. âYes,â he says honestly. Then, after a beat, âBut not having you hurts more.â
The tears come properly then, silent and immediate. ___ presses her hand harder against her eyes, breathing out a shaky laugh because of course this is happening on a Thursday afternoon between exhibition setups.Â
âI have to do math before I can even talk to you.â A wet laugh escapes ___. âDo you know how romantic it is calculating if your boyfriend is conscious?â That finally pulls a real laugh out of him, tired and warm and aching around the edges.
But she hears it fade quickly, because theyâre both thinking the same thing now. How much work this is. How much wanting each other has become an active sustained effort. âThatâs the part I didnât expect,â Yoongi says after a while, quieter now. âHow easy it would be to keep choosing you anyway.âÂ
___âs hand almost absentmindedly plays with the pendant Yoongi got her for her birthday, âYoongi,â she says softly. âMm?â âI love you.â The words leave her gently.
On the other end of the line he goes completely still. ___ keeps turning the pendant slowly between her fingers, eyes fixed on nothing now. âI love you when Iâm exhausted and irritated and calculating timezones,â she admits quietly. âI love you when Iâm angry at tour for taking you away from me.â A shaky breath leaves her. âI love you even when this feels impossible sometimes.â
His chest aches so sharply it almost feels like fear, not of her loving him. Of how badly he loves her back. Because Yoongi has spent most of his adult life believing love had to fit around ambition carefully or it would break beneath it. That eventually someone would ask him to choose.Â
âI think,â she says softly, almost smiling through the tears now, âthatâs how I know itâs real.â
He lowers his head briefly, eyes shut, he wishes she were here so badly it physically hurts. Wishes he could pull her into his lap and bury his face into her neck and stay there until this terrible restless homesick feeling finally settled.Â
âYou canât say that right before I go on stage,â he says finally, voice rougher now. A soft laugh escapes her immediately. âI love you too, I love you in hotel rooms,â he murmurs. âIn airports. Half asleep. Fully stressed. I love you enough that I catch myself looking for things to bring back for you in every country now.â A faint breath of a laugh. âWhich is deeply embarrassing.â
Her eyes close tightly. âAnd I thinkâŚâ He pauses, searching for the words carefully now because he wants to get this right. âI think loving you stopped feeling temporary a long time ago.â That one nearly undoes her completely.
âHyung? Are you okay?â Jimin asks as they are once again leaving the airport, Yoongi quietly mumbles a no as they shuffle inside the car. âItâs been an exhausting tour, ___ and I had this big fight last week about something so stupid and god am I tiredâ Yoongi confesses as the car moves around the highway.
âWhat happened?â Jimin asks quietly. Yoongi lets out a humorless breath through his nose. âShe fell asleep waiting for my call.â Jimin winces immediately. âOuch.â âYeah.â
âI know this life is hard,â he says after a while. âI knew it before we started dating. I justâŚâ He laughs once bitterly under his breath. âI think I underestimated what it feels like when the person waiting for you is someone you actually canât stand disappointing.â
Jimin watches him carefully for a moment. Yoongi has always carried guilt strangely. Quietly. Internally. Like he believes if he absorbs enough of it himself nobody else will have to. âI hate this part,â Yoongi murmurs eventually. âThe feeling that no matter how hard I try, eventually my schedule still wins.âÂ
âHyung,â he says softly, âyou know whatâs different though?â Yoongi glances at him tiredly. âYouâre talking like someone whoâs trying to keep her.â Jimin shrugs lightly. âNot someone looking for a way out.â
Theyâre quiet for the rest of the ride, Yoongi contemplating how heâs going to make it up to her, what heâs going to say. He almost dozes off till heâs being gently shrugged by Jimin, something about them being there.Â
Yoongi steadies his bag as Jimin nudges his rib cage, hard. â___?â Yoongi can make her out of just her shadow as she leans against a car, they had discussed this a few weeks ago, he just didnât expect her to be here after whatever yesterday was.
âWhat are you doing here?â She shrugs one shoulder lightly, though her eyes are already glassy in the parking lot lights.
âI wasn't going to show up just because we fought?â Something inside him breaks instantly at how simple she makes it sound. Yoongi looks down briefly, jaw tightening hard enough that she realizes suddenly heâs trying very seriously not to cry.Â
âYou shouldnât have driven this late,â he murmurs instead because itâs safer than saying what he actually wants to say right now. âYou shouldnât have fought with me from another continent,â she replies softly.
That finally pulls a real breathless laugh out of him and then neither of them can really hold the distance anymore. Yoongi drops his bag carelessly onto the pavement just as she reaches him, and the second his arms wrap around her he exhales so deeply it almost sounds painful. Like his bodyâs been waiting to do that for days.
âI donât want to say sorry because stuff like that might happen again and I canât lie to youâ Yoongi speaks truthfully. âI know,â she says quietly.
Yoongiâs expression shifts faintly at that, like he wasnât entirely expecting this. âI justâŚâ He exhales shakily, forehead dropping briefly against hers now. âI need you to know Iâm never not trying.â His voice lowers. âEven when I get it wrong.â
âYou know what the worst part is?â she murmurs softly. âWhat?â âI wasnât even angry because of the phone call.â His hands tighten around her waist slightly. âI was angry because I missed you so much already.â A weak laugh escapes her. âAnd then I had to miss you disappointed too.â
Because thatâs exactly what yesterday felt like, not conflict, longing with nowhere to go. Yoongi presses his forehead harder against hers, eyes closing briefly. âI hate that you cry because of me.â âYou also make me very happy because of you,â she whispers immediately.
âThat grammar was terrible.â âIâm emotional.â A tired laugh slips out of him then, quieter now, warmer. God, he missed this too. The way she can pull him back toward something lighter before he disappears too far into guilt.
âNow kiss and make up,â Jimin calls as he walks backwards toward his building entrance, duffel bag hanging off one shoulder. âI canât take brooding Yoongi hyung anymore. Heâs been unbearable all week.â
Yoongi sighs deeply without even looking at him. âPlease go inside.â âIâm serious,â Jimin says, grinning now. âHe kept staring out the van window like a divorced father.â ___ laughs against Yoongiâs shoulder immediately, the sound finally pulling a reluctant smile onto his face too.
âAnd he snapped at me because I asked if he wanted ramyeon.â âYou asked me three times.â
âBecause you looked emotionally unwell.â Yoongi shakes his head tiredly as Jimin snickers to himself. âAnyway,â Jimin says, swiping the card to the building gate, âfix him pleaseâ
Then a softer, fond voice follows, âYou look better already, hyung.â And with that he disappears inside, leaving the two of them alone again beneath the parking lot lights. The silence settles differently now.
___ brushes her thumb lightly beneath his eye before speaking quietly. âYour parents are still on vacation, right?â He nods once slowly. âThey left for Jeju yesterday, come home with me,â he says quietly. Yoongiâs hand slides up slowly into her hair, fingers curling gently at the base of her neck before he pulls her toward him and kisses her like heâs been hungry for her.Â
His mouth soft against hers as he exhales shakily into the kiss, shoulders finally loosening beneath her hands for what feels like the first time since he landed. âYou know,â he murmurs softly, voice rough with exhaustion and affection both, âI think this is the longest week of my life.â
She smiles faintly, brushing her nose against his. âGood thing youâre home now.â His eyes close briefly at that. Home, not Seoul, not the apartment, her.
And maybe thatâs the thing that feels different tonight. Not just relief. Not just surviving another stretch of distance. The tour is over. For the first time in months there isnât another flight looming somewhere ahead of them. No countdown ticking quietly in the background. No rehearsals stealing entire weeks before they can properly settle into each other again. Their first anniversary is in two weeks.
âYouâve been living like this all this time, what do you need a walk in closet for?â ___ complains as she walks around the dimly lit closet, admiring his watch collection. âCome on, lets go to bedâ Yoongi whines from behind her, his arms loosely wrapped around her, heâs been clingy like this since they got inside the apartment.
âI have a meeting set with a realtor next week, you sure you still want to live with me, I never put away my laundryâ ___ speaks as they finally slip into bed. Yoongi turns toward her immediately.
Thereâs barely a second of hesitation before he moves closer automatically, arm sliding around her waist underneath the blankets until sheâs tucked against his chest like thatâs where sheâs been sleeping forever. âIâve seen your apartment,â he murmurs sleepily into her hair. âItâs a messâ
She gasps softly. âThat is unbelievably rude.â âYou own a chair entirely dedicated to clothes.â
âItâs an organizational system.â âItâs a fabric mountain.â ___ laughs under her breath as he presses a lazy kiss against her shoulder.
âAre you sure about moving in together? We might not tour this year but there might be times when Iâm still away?â Yoongi asks as he trails kisses downward. âYes I am sureâ ___ replies confidently as Yoongi bites her boob, knowing exactly where this is going.Â
âArenât you tired?â ___ investigates as Yoongi mumbles a no, removing her slip dress in one go. She doesnât get an answer. What she does get is Yoongi softly biting her nipple as she arches back. âAnother perk of living together, we can have sex any time we want, anywhere we wantâ Yoongi says as his hand fondles her soft breast, the other hand trailing south.
âWe can do it against the glass like we did in Maldives,â she murmurs. That finally pulls a real reaction out of him.
Yoongi groans softly into her skin, forehead dropping briefly against her chest like the memory alone exhausted him all over again. âYou almost killed me that night.â
âYou were very enthusiastic.â âYou wore that bikini on purpose.â A faint smug smile appears on her face. âMaybe.â He looks up at her then, hair messy, eyes dark and sleepy and impossibly affectionate all at once.
Yoongi shuffles around the kitchen looking for a snack, all the fridge has is leftovers and fruit. He settles on an apple as he continues to wash it for a little too long, too lazy to do the whole peeling and cutting thing.
___: Whyâd you leave this morning in such a hurry? Waking up all by myself is no fun
His phone pings and he stops mid-way, typing a response immediately, a ghost of a smile appearing the second her name appears. He exhales softly through his nose, drying his hand absently against his shirt as he types back.Â
Yoongi: I told you, my dad had a doctors appointment, he wonât tell but he wanted me there
Yoongi: I am sorry, I can make up by coming over tonight and not leaving in the morning
___: I have a thing, might not come home
Yoongi: What thing?
___: Work thing
Yoongi: Thatâs very vague, but okay, Iâll see you on Saturday then? Can we go shopping?
âWho are you talking to smiling like that?â his mother shouts from the other end of the living room, startling him, almost into dropping his phone. Itâs been a year and heâs successfully kept a lid on this relationship, the less she knows the better.
âNo one, the guys are being funny in the group chat? Where are you off too?â he asks as his mother continues putting on her earrings.
âItâs the Leeâs 40th wedding anniversary and I thought I might bring them something, and ___ is going to be thereâ he stills not very noticeably, âI just love her,â his mother continues, completely unaware, stepping back into the kitchen to grab the baked goods she ordered earlier. âToo bad you never went out with her.â
He almost chokes on his own breath, covering it with a cough. ââŚYeah,â he mutters, because what else is he supposed to say to that?
But his mind is already moving. So, ___ is in the same building as him and didnât even tell him, is this why she wonât be coming home tonight? The wheels in his brain are going, a smirk almost appearing, âMaybe I also come with you, I was pretty rude last time when I didnât visit them?â
âWhen?â she asks almost absentmindedly, forgetting that afternoon completely. âThe time you tried to, you know what, I am going to change, wait for meâ
Yoongi scrambles around, picking out a soft blue shirt and tucking it in almost instinctively. He fixes his hair next, more carefully than heâll admit, adjusting it once, then again, like heâs trying to make it look like he didnât try at all.Â
âWhy do you even want to come, youâre usually not interested in my friends at all?â his mother questions from outside his room, watching him contemplate between two belts.Â
âThatâs not true, you remember when I sent flowers for your friend Mrs Song?â âYou didnât send them, I didâ she retorts almost immediately, âWell, I paid for themâ he shoots back, not missing a beat.Â
He tightens the belt, exhaling softly through his nose before grabbing his watch, fastening it around his wrist with a little more care than usual. âIâm just being polite,â he adds, tone deliberately casual, like this is nothing out of the ordinary. âYou said it yourself, I was rude last time.â
His mother leans against the doorframe now, watching him more closely. âYou didnât care about being rude last time.â âWell, as I grow older, I am trying to be a better person, come onâ he walks right past her, she nods her head in confusion but decides to go along with it anyway.
Yoongi wouldnât admit it, but heâs nervous. Things have been going well, too well. They move in together in a month, all their free time is being spent decorating their new home. The next natural steps would be to meet the parents, something heâs never done. âStop fidgetingâ his dad comments as he continues to fiddle around with his collar, the shirt suddenly suffocating him.
Yoongi spends the entire elevator ride thinking of what heâs going to say, which isnât a long time to prepare for something this monumental. What exactly is he supposed to say? Hello, surprise, Iâve secretly been dating your daughter for over a year and we accidentally bought an apartment together?
His mother rings the bell before he can spiral further. The door swings open almost immediately, to his relief itâs ___. For one beautiful second her face lights up instinctively at the sight of him. Then she notices his parents standing there and immediately freezes.
âOh! Hi, umâ ___ stammers, fixing her hair the best she can as she tugs the sweater, well his sweater to be accurate that she stole just last week. âHi, how are you ___, we just wanted to stop by with some treats before your parents leave for Europeâ Mrs Min adds and ___ nods quickly, recovering with impressive speed considering she is currently trying to piece together why heâs here.
âRight, yes, come in,â she says, stepping aside quickly. âMom and dad are inside.â Yoongi walks past her carefully, close enough to catch the tiny glare she shoots him under her breath.
âAh, you made it!â Mrs. Lee says cheerfully as she appears from the kitchen carrying coffee cups.
Mr. Lee follows behind her with Yoongiâs father, already mid-conversation about travel routes and airport timing.
For a few blessed minutes, things settle.
Coffee is poured. Pastries are unpacked. The parents fall naturally into conversation around the dining table while Yoongi hovers awkwardly near the kitchen island pretending he isnât hyperaware of every movement ___ makes.
âIâve also made some sandwiches, let me just bring those outâ ___ adds as she stands up, wanting a few minutes just to herself. âOh, Iâll helpâ Yoongi adds and all the heads turn to him, none of them expecting this.
âItâs not much Yoongi-si, Iâll just be a few momentsâ ___ argues with a tight smile, hoping no one in this room catches onto this tension. âOh Iâm sure my motherâs told you what a great cook I am, I can helpâ Yoongi canât help but tease, knowing this is going to cost him later.
âWhat is with these two?â Mrs Min murmurs to Mrs Lee as the two walk into kitchen, âMaybe heâs interested now, too bad she already has a boyfriendâ Mrs Lee comments as they continue to sip on their coffee.
âShe has a boyfriend?â Mrs Min asks with shock, she has secretly been hoping for her son to come to his senses all this time. âWell, she hasnât told me explicitly, but she went to a vacation to Maldives and thatâs such a couples destinationâ Mrs Lee adds and the wheels in Mrs Minâs head are finally going.Â
âWhen was she in Maldives?â âEarly January I think, she didnât even send us any pictures-â âYoongi was in Maldives early Januaryâ Mrs. Lee blinks.
Mrs. Min blinks back, silence.
âOh my god.â âOH MY GOD SHEâS WEARING HIS SWEATER THAT I GOT HIM FOR CHRISTMASâ Mrs Min yells as she rapidly walks towards the kitchen. The closer they get, the quieter they become. Because suddenly theyâre not entering casually anymore.
Theyâre investigating and then they stop dead in the doorway. ___ is standing close enough to Yoongi that their bodies almost touch, fingers gently smoothing down the collar of his shirt while Yoongi looks at her with an expression his mother has never seen him wear before.
Soft and completely gone for her. Like the entire world narrowed down to the woman fixing his clothes in the kitchen.
âOh.â The word slips out of Mrs. Lee before she can stop it. The couple freeze instantly. ___âs hand is still resting lightly against Yoongiâs chest.
Yoongi turns first and unfortunately, instead of looking guilty, he looks caught in the exact way a man does when heâs deeply in love and interrupted mid-moment. Which is somehow more incriminating.
âHow long has this been going on?â Mrs Min asks softly, not entirely believing what sheâs seeing. ___ immediately drops her hand from Yoongiâs collar like sheâs been burned. Â
Yoongi exhales slowly, knowing he needs to take the lead in this situation, âA year and a halfâ he answers, his hand coming up to ___âs waist like heâs trying to tell it all with a show but ___ swats his hands immediately, like she can still talk her way out of this.Â
Thereâs silence and immediately there are questions, lots of them. âA YEAR AND A HALFâ âWhy didnât you tell usâ âIs this why youâve been working lateâ âIs this why we couldnât come to the Paris show?â
Mrs. Minâs eyes widened further somehow. âOh my god, you traveled to see him during the tour?â
âNo..well sometimes-â âHow many times?â Mrs. Lee gasps. ___ looks ready to faint.
Yoongi, meanwhile, has reached the point of surrender where he almost finds this funny. âEnough that she has airline status now,â he says honestly.
âMin Yoongi!â ___ hisses in horror. âWhat? Weâre already caught.â âThat does not mean volunteer information!â
From the dining room, both fathers have fully abandoned pretending not to listen and are now standing in the doorway too. Mr. Min crosses his arms slowly. âI knew something was going on when he wanted me to check documents to buy an apartmentâ
The interrogation moves from the kitchen hallway to the dining room because ___ canât keep standing without feeling like sheâs about to faint and Yoongi wanted everyone to eat the sandwiches she made.Â
âWhen were you going to tell us that youâre moving in together, after you had children?â Mrs Min asks her son incredulously, sheâs still in shock from this all, happy nonetheless. âWhat you arenât engaged are you?â Mrs Lee asks as she rapidly reaches for ___âs hand.
âI wouldnât ask ___ to marry me without speaking to her parents first,â Yoongi says immediately. The room quiets slightly at the seriousness in his tone. Because despite the chaos, despite the interrogation and the absolute catastrophe of this reveal, he means that sincerely.
Across the table, Mr. Lee watches him carefully now and for maybe the first time all afternoon, Yoongi feels genuinely nervous. âIâm not irresponsible,â he says quieter now, gaze flicking briefly toward ___ before returning to her parents. âI know how serious this is.â
___ looks at him softly for a second. Because beneath all the teasing and disaster and accidental exposure, thatâs the thing about Yoongi, once he loves someone, he becomes frighteningly earnest about protecting the future around them.
Mrs. Minâs eyes narrow suddenly, too suddenly. âWait.â Every person at the table goes still. âYou said you wouldnât ask without speaking to the parents first.â She points at him slowly. âNot that you havenât thought about it.â
Yoongi makes the catastrophic mistake of glancing at ___ for half a second. And unfortunately that alone is enough.
Mrs. Lee gasps loudly. âOh my god.â ___ blinks between them in confusion. âWhat?â Mrs. Min sits forward immediately. âYouâve thought about marriage.â
âWeâre in a happy long term relationship, of course we haveâ âDo you have a ring?â his mother throws that question like a grenade in the middle of the dining room. ___ turns toward him so fast she nearly knocks over her water glass.
Yoongi suddenly regrets every decision that led him here. Because the thing is, he does have a ring. Hidden badly, according to Namjoon. Carefully and thoughtfully selected over weeks because once the idea entered his head, it never really left again.
âNo,â he says too quickly. Mrs. Min narrows her eyes instantly. âThat was suspicious.â âI donât have it with me.â The second the words leave his mouth, he knows heâs doomed.
âYOU HAVE A RING?â both mothers shriek simultaneously.
___ just stares at him, like her brain genuinely stopped functioning for a second. Yoongi rubs a hand down his face slowly. âWell,â Mr. Min says calmly, sounding deeply entertained now, âthis escalated quickly.â
âYou bought a ring?â ___ asks finally, voice small in a way that completely destroys him. And suddenly all the teasing leaves the room a little. âWe talked about it, we were on the same page about marriage?â Yoongi turns, like he needs to talk about it urgently.Â
âWe did, I just didnât expect you to actually buy a ringâ The vulnerability in her voice hits him square in the chest. Because he understands what she means, not disbelief in them. Disbelief in how real this all suddenly sounds out loud.
Yoongi shifts slightly closer to her instinctively. âI wasnât trying to pressure you,â he says lower now, like heâs forgotten there are four other people listening. âI just saw it andâŚâ He exhales softly. âIt felt right.â
___ looks at him for a long second. âThey bought an apartment,â Mr. Lee mutters. âThe married couple part was already implied.â âThatâs true,â Mr. Min agrees.
âIs there a date on your mind?â Mrs Min asks quietly and that earns another dramatic gasp from Mrs Lee. âOkay,â ___ says finally, standing abruptly before this spirals into someone discussing grandchildren. âI think this is enough for today. Mom, dad, you both need to leave for the airport soon.â Then toward Yoongiâs parents, polite despite the emotional destruction currently occurring in the dining room, âMrs. and Mr. Min, the desserts were delicious, and I do love your son, so I hope today wonât leave the wrong impression on your minds.âÂ
âYoongi and I are leaving because apparently we need to have a conversation.â That finally gets his attention fully. Yoongi blinks up at her once. âDo we?â
âYes.â âAm I in trouble?â âYou will be if you donât get movingâ ___ speaks with a smile but Yoongi knows better by now and stands up immediately. Sheâs quiet as they close the door behind them and itâs right at that moment when Yoongiâs phone rings.Â
He declines it and ___ sighs as she presses the elevator button with no clear plan on where theyâre actually going to talk. Yoongi groans softly this time before answering. âHi.â
Thereâs a pause, then his entire expression changes. âOh.â ___ looks over immediately. âOur mattress is going to be there in a few minutes, they need someone to let them inâ Yoongi continues and ___ simply hands him her car keys, knowing where theyâre going.Â
âOh, hi⌠that room,â ___ says quickly, pointing them toward the bedroom. They nod and disappear down the hallway carrying it carefully while Yoongi steps aside to answer yet another phone call.
Apparently every single thing related to this apartment needs attention today. âYes, Tuesday is fine,â he says distractedly into the phone while pacing slowly near the windows. âYes please early in the day, Iâm busy post afternoonâ
___ watches him for a second. It still catches her off guard sometimes, this version of him. Not a massively successful musician. Not the exhausted version surviving airports and tour schedules. Just⌠her boyfriend trying to do everything right with their apartment.
The mattress gets assembled surprisingly quickly considering it took them nearly three weeks to choose one. âSo, the sofa will be here on the tuesday so weâll have enough of a ready home to move in, rest we can tackle once weâre hereâ Yoongi adds as ___ gets them some water from the fridge, they might not be living here, but they still have a fully stacked kitchen already.
âAnd Iâve booked a moving company for your place for Sunday, Iâll be there too-â Yoongi continues and ___ shuts him up with a soft kiss. All the tension from today just melts as he helplessly kisses her, his hands all over her till they settle under the sweater.Â
âYou stupid idiotâ ___ pulls back just to say that but Yoongi only smiles as he pulls her even closer. âDid you really buy a ring?â she continues and Yoongi sighs, resting his forehead against hers. âI swear my mother, can we not make a big deal out of this, itâs not happening that soon, I want us to live together first and you werenât supposed to find out like thisâ he explains which only makes ___ laugh more.Â
âIs it beautiful? Itâs not too flashy is it? I know you have money but big diamonds donât suit meâ ___ teases and he groans gripping her waist even tighter. âDarling I know what you like, can we just please drop this?â Yoongi pleads and ___ nods knowing when to give up.
âI didnât think Iâd be doing this with you after our first date, I really wanted to see you again but I wasnât sure it would workâ ___ confesses as she moves around, finally getting the water she wanted. âI really wanted to see you again,â she admits. âBut I honestly wasnât sure it would work.â
Yoongiâs brows lift slightly. âReally?â He watches her carefully now as she hands him a glass of water before continuing.
âAnd then you kissed me like that,â she says, pointing at him accusingly now, âand just left.â Yoongi looks entirely unapologetic. âI had an early flight.â âYou kissed me after the best first date and just left and it felt like a romcom for a few hours till you didnât text me for 12 hoursâ
âI was trying to seem calm.â That actually makes her laugh. Because if thereâs one thing she knows now, itâs that Yoongi has never once been calm about her. âI was still dazed from the date and the kiss and I was all confused and and I um, was so surprised and I hated that I had to leave even if I really wanted to tourâ Yoongi confesses and ___ smiles from the other side of the counter.Â
âI for a very long time believed that this all, a girlfriend, living together, the eventual stuff, planning a life with someone wasnât in my books and for the longest time I was okay with itâ The apartment falls quiet around them. Suddenly he looks younger somehow. Not physically, emotionally, like sheâs catching a glimpse of the version of him that spent years convincing himself wanting less from life was safer.
âYou just thought loving someone would mean losing parts of yourself.â That catches him off guard.
Because unfortunately sheâs right. Yoongi looks down briefly, jaw tightening faintly like heâs still a little uncomfortable being understood this clearly. âYes,â he admits quietly. âAnd honestlyâŚâ A tiny breath leaves him, almost amused at himself now. âI didnât expect you to be this stubborn.â
___ smiles faintly. âExcuse me?â âWe fought,â he continues, stepping closer again like he physically canât stay far from her for long anymore. âA lot sometimes. Especially in the beginning.â His hands slide back around her waist naturally. âBut you always treated the problems like they were against us.â He pauses, gaze steady on hers now. âNot us against each other.â
Something soft flickers across her expression immediately, because that mattered more to him than she probably realized.
âSo, shall we break in the new mattress, take a nap?â ___ jokes and Yoongi chuckles holds her from the behind. âIs this us now, napping? So painfully domesticâ he says, his warm hands back under the sweater.Â
âWhatâs more tragic is that I really want to napâ Yoongi confesses nuzzling his head into her shoulder. âHoney, we can do whatever we want, nap, look at vacuums, argue if we really want a piano in the living roomâ ___ teases and Yoongi laughs thinking back to the major vacuum selection fight.

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âBut if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.â
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.Â
She ainât no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
Anyone with a name that starts with a âZâ, ends with an âiâ, and isnât some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
Iâm not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, đ đ˝đ đžđ đż Negative.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who donât know who Madame Zeroni is
âđžđ
Man lissen if you donât know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so Iâll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so iâll reblog her
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no sheâs back lmao must reblog. Iâm sorry guys
no matter how bad things are there will always be music no matter how bad things are there will always be music no matter how bad things are there will always be music no matter how bad things are there will always be music no matter how bad things are there will always be music




