The Womansplainer

“12 Rules for Life” is basically just Stoic Philosophy for Dummies with a soupcon of misogyny and douchebaggery. 

The science bears it out. Don’t blame me.

"Will you accept this jockstrap?”

Really listen. Not just wait for your turn to talk. If this makes you feel defensive, fix yourself. 

The more a man assures a woman that she’ll have a good time with him, the less likely it is to be true.

Sure will.

It’s science. I don’t make the rules.

Historically, every single nuclear warhead was dropped by a man. Every single nuclear disaster was caused by a man. Is it really safe to allow men around radioactive substances? 

They’ll never love you unless you stop creeping on them. It’s science.

There’s a big difference between “can’t” and “won’t do your homework for you.” But I understand. Men find it more difficult to concentrate on complex tasks. It’s not your fault, sweet pea. It’s just science. 

I don’t see the words “feminism” or “equalism” anywhere on this website, dollface. I know that reading comprehension is difficult, though. 

Acceptable to whom? I don’t see how you get to decide for anyone else what’s “acceptable”, honeybunch. 

We find it hilarious. And we talk about it with our friends.

Guaranteed. If you sent it, she’s laughing at it right now. She probably showed it to all her friends, too. They’re all laughing at it.

Studies show that the majority of college students are women. Sorry you don’t measure up, honeybunch. 

She’s dating that other guy because he has something you don’t. 

Sorry if you don’t like it. But we can’t help our preferences.