meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

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@shewholistens
meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

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a wasp just flew into my job so i picked up a jar to catch it but before i could, a dark-eyed junco hopped in through the door like a regular customer, flew up to the window, caught the wasp, and then hopped back out.
#without paying.... kinda cool
I normally have to vacuum the bugs from the windowsill every morning once they've died tragically so really it was doing my job for me.
I love in science fiction when something’s an array. The sensor array. The navigational array. Weapons array. Goddamn, yes. Get that shit in an array.
do nuns have pockets
question answered thanks #MediaNun
Alright I want to know something here:
the 🙃 emoji means (approximately)
silly!*
ugh!*
secret third thing you will explain in tags*
*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data
kindly reblog for bigger sample size, thanks!

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the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.
they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries
Shining Sunbeam (Aglaeactis cupripennis), male, family Trochilidae, order Apodiformes, Peru
photograph by Alexander Ayma Ugarte
we have more than two green parrots.
We have Kea, Kākā, Kākāpō, and Kākāriki (of which there are 3 species).
Kākā are more olive brown than green but are really neat and beautiful birds and are growing in numbers thanks to conservation efforts.
Kea are mostly green with red underwings and will pickpocket you, but then again so will weka. The bit about them stopping traffic is absolutely true - I have a friend who has witnessed this.
Kākāpō are, in the words of my ecology professor, “really bad at being parrots”. They suck, but endearingly so. They are so bad at being alive and climbing things and reproducing but you cannot help but love them. Again, they are green, but in a shambling moss pile sort of way.
Kākāriki are much smaller and are kept as pets internationally. The three kinds are the red crowned, the yellow crowned and the orange fronted. Of these, the latter is the rarest (currently critically endangered). All 3 are decidedly very GREEN, to the extent that their name means “green”.
There are also several other species endemic to various outlying islands. We have, in total, nine surviving endemic parrot species and several subspecies of those.
If you see ANY of these at all, regardless of whether or not they pickpocket you, all of them are are very cool and very worthy of respect.
my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military
in our defense this is oil
my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!
like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao
actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao
this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator
Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"
Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.
Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

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when I was in high school I had a literature teacher who had a policy of unlimited extra credit. All you had to do was read a book by a notable author (his discretion) and have a little chat with him after school to prove that you read it. No limits, no need for variety (one month I decided I really loved Kurt Vonnegut and just read everything of his I could get my hands on).
Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.
I was thinking about it again today, and only just now realized that he absolutely tricked me into being well-read, while my teenage self thought I was totally getting away with something. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. I hope he's doing well.
Mel Brooks on taking studio notes:
Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)
OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

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A scene that isn’t in the movie, but I still feel like isn’t appreciated enough is when Rocky and Ryland are doing the whole ‘first contact’ thing and Ryland finally puts some lights in the tunnel so he could see. When he had left the tunnel so Rocky could come out, Rocky ends up investigating the lights then just takes them back to his ship. And Ryland is watching this happen like “well fuck. Now I can’t see shit.”
Idk I felt it was hilarious and I’m sad they didn’t have it play out like that in the movie
Rocky never skips leg day