Anxiety Is One Hell Of A Problem.

I lost my dogs because of you.

I lost my house because of you.

And then you called.

“I’m going to need you to feel better.”

Why?

“Because I’ll be there in 52 minutes.”

Today was so special to me. You gave me all my favorite things. You made it impossible not to smile.

Sex and snuggles. Mexican food. Sunflowers and cemeteries. Coffee and cigarettes. Quality time.

Your big hugs and sweet kisses.

You have made today such an amazing day when i thought i wouldn’t even get out of bed. Thank you.

Deal with the fact you’re gone, at least in that way. I thought it’d be easy when you swore you’d stay.

You were my happiness and that was my mistake, Because without you i don’t have an escape.

Dependent isn’t something I’ve ever been, And now without you i don’t even have a pen.

You said you have to hit rock bottom before you can go up, But honestly i just want this world to stop.

And no it isn’t you, it’s me.

Such a fucking cliche

But i need to make that clear, You have my heart but not my brain, my dear.

You can’t take away the pain that controls my every move, And honestly i have nothing left to lose.

Maybe i have words buried deep down. But i don’t know how to breathe, just drown.

Drown in the endless thoughts and i haven’t even a kiss.

It means only two more months with you.

It means never being able to call you mine again.

It means leaving my heart in Ohio.

It means you’re too many hours away.

It means never seeing Nova again.

It means i won’t have your hugs.

Your kisses.

It means all I’ll have is a phone call. And pictures. And stupid memories.