AMC

April 13th,2018 I sent my boss my two week notice. Considering how I really felt about her and the job, quitting on the spot seemed more ideal. However, I learned from my nonexistent of references, not to burn my bridges. So now it's August 4th, 12:10 am pacific time and I am still unemployed, aimlessly scrolling for jobs, until I realized maybe it's not a job I should be in search but myself. That seems very bullshitty and typical, like "oh I quit my job, let's discover ourselves"...like girl....really? But I also remember being fed up with going to work(graveyard shift...I..*eye roll*) , receiving emails about residents smoking marijuana in their apartment and dog piss.Would you care? Granted these people pay a smooth 3,000-4,000 a month to live in a box with a nice view of Downtown LA. But honestly residents calling the cops on a dog barking? AM I SUPPOSE TO CARE WHEN THE DOG IS DOING..WHAT...THEY...DO...WHICH..IS....BARK...sis? Anyway, that led me moving back to the middle of nowhere, back home with my parents...The Valley. To me, moving back to my parents meant Failure. I finally moved out my parents house, back to LA (home) and with my new boyfriend and I had job that was egh okay. Don't get me wrong it wasn't the worst, my coworkers were cool, residents were cool and the pay was nice...But, I soon found out, that it wasn't right fit for me.I had so many plans, so many ideas to keep me in LA, however LIFE is funny..You think you'll have everything planned out and then life comes in and just flips your shit with you moving back to your old room in...the...middle..of..nowhere. So you make plans, I'ma get a job, finally get that AA and re-start your life right? But no, the way Anxiety Depression is set up, you spend your summer stuck in your bed, rewatching Drag Race,counting down every hour proud of yourself that you haven't had an anxiety attack, which would eventually lead you back in the ER..that's another post..Anyway, so going through your Unemployed Woes you are basically thrown into a journey of Self Discovery because...LIFE..like do I need to explain what I mean when I type..LIFE? As a "Millennial" (I hate that damn word) I'm pretty sure we had so many expectations for ourselves at a certain age and then..you know shit (LIFE) happens..So as I was saying, moving back home I felt like I failed myself. Not finding a job...yet, I felt like I failed myself...but oddly enough, I found myself. Like, I went back to writing, and rediscovering my love for it, dealing with Anxiety Depression..(that's one hell of a ride, but my therapist is cool). All of that which lead me to write this post. I had no aim for it, just wrote about how I'm feeling where I'm currently at in life, and maybe it'll resonate with someone...Oh, I usually post picture of what artist I was listening to while typing this post in the thumbnail. PaulWall_SittinSideways_.mp3