shenyuankinnie

IT IS DONE!!

this took. ages omfg. I hope some people see this because the lore drop is kind of INSANE and more people should know about it!!!

the audio is from the Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins podcast, specifically from episode 2 💥

as you can probably tell I did not feel like drawing Mr. Hauser 💚 but hes still beautiful in my eyes

TW: suicide and depression mention

I’ve had Sylvia Plath on my mind for a while now, especially thinking about the Wheelers. But it peaked my suspicions when I saw Holly in the kitchen like this (Holly performs a conventional role until the truth slowly unravels her idyllic dream scenario):

SuoNire: I'll keep you safe with my strenght/ I'll help keep you human with my empathy. "I’ll make sure the world doesn’t harden you" and "You’re safe being yourself with me"

SuoSaku: I'll validate your position here by following your lead unquestioningly / I'll give you a place to belong by being someone you can follow. “If you fall apart, I’ll still be standing next to you” and "I know exactly what you are, and I chose you anyway".

NireiSaku: I'll always believe in you, even if you show weakness / I'll always protect you, even if you become stronger. “I believed in you before you knew how to believe in yourself" and “I’m on your side. That’s not changing.”

🌸🌸

Emo 21-year-old Bruce: You're not my father, Alfred!

Alfred: Quite right. I have a medical degree, and you don't.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick: Hey I'm dropping out of Gotham University

Bruce: What? You're quitting college halfway?! Unacceptable, you cannot just give up on your engineering degree-

Dick: I did not just hear the failed doctor say that

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, fuming: You left my side tonight to go and gallivant around with harley quinn? A villain?

Steph: So what if she's a villain, Bruce? Atleast the villain has a doctorate.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, bandaging Duke's wound because Alfred was busy: There, all done

Duke: Woah, didn't expect that from a college dropout

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Stop ignoring my orders in the field! You need to listen, I have more experience-

Jason, as red hood, with his english degrees: Which one of us actually has a degree?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim: So I'm dropping out of high school

Bruce: You too?! First Dick and now you?!

Tim: No, first it was you, then Dick, and now me

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Damian, your recent report card indicates you're falling behind in Biology

Damian: Tt. Must run in the family, then.

the thing is, Jason is 1: busy with his own missions atm 2: was also once a rebellious little asshole who liked to run away from home. he was Damian’s tutor once, he knows the kid can handle himself and he also knows if he CAN’T handle something he’ll contact Jason for help. he knows this because about a week before Talia called him, Damian called him.

Jason, phone balanced between his ear and shoulder: what do you want, i’m undercover

Damian: i require money for a fake passport.

Jason:

Jason, letting go of the guy he was beating up: alright you have my attention.

Damian: i am running away from home. i wish to do something ‘for the lore’ like the stories you used to tell me as a child.

Jason:

Jason ‘i’m going to ethiopia’ Todd: there’s some stuff in the fake panel under my bed. don’t tell me where you’re going, i don’t want to be complicit when Talia calls. also don’t die, because if you do i’m gonna make you eat dirt once you get out of the pit.

Damian: understood. if i am about to die, i shall call again.

Jason: have fun kiddo.

so Jason tells Talia he’ll ‘keep an eye out for any leads’ and then goes back to his normal business. league missions, his own missions, some outlaw shit, and eventually he ends up crime lording it up in Gotham. he’s a little confused when Tim Drake is seen swinging around as Red Robin rather than just Robin, but he got over his obsession with the Robin shit a while ago, so he ignores it.

until he runs into Batman and Robin. and there isn’t a mask in the fucking world that could hide his kid brother’s face from him.

Red Hood:

Robin:

Red Hood:

Robin:

Batman: why are you two staring at each other like that. what’s happening.

Robin:

Red Hood: *deep sigh*

Robin: are you going to tell mother-

Red Hood: -when you said ‘like the stories i used to tell you’.

Robin: *looks at the floor*

Red Hood: i did NOT think you meant running to a different country to find your birth parent. you fucking COPIER.

Robin:

Robin: …but you made being Robin sound so cool…

Batman: what the fuck are you two talking about?

Red Hood, pointing: you stay out of this, this is family business.

Bruce: …wait. was that my credit card number?

Duke, instantly: im so sorry it was Dick’s fault i promise

Dick: HEY-

Barry: wait that was his credit card-? hey can you say it again-

Oliver: -also the pin,

Bruce: Barry, you know if you need help i am happy to-

Bruce, abruptly changing tune the second Oliver opened his mouth: -YOU can shut the fuck up i know exactly how much is in your bank right now-

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

And no one doesn't.

But there is a problem. The next time Bruce Wayne visits Harvey, Harvey randomly drops a bomb on him by saying that he is so, so glad that their Jaylad is back, and he grew up so much, looks so much like Bruce now! He even tries to assure him that, you see, yeah, Jason was dead, but he crawled out of his grave, and then, the Lazarus Pit fixed him!

Bruce thinks Harvey finally had reached the end of his line. Like, low-key, the last stage of insanity.

Harvey: God, he is still so well-mannered. I feel so pleased that he came to visit old me first, though. I always thought I was his favourite over you.

Bruce, laughing awkwardly, while asking the medics to add some new medicine to Harvey: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like our Jaylad.

Harvey: Super happy for him, seriously. I mean, look at him, getting himself a new career as a Red Hood. That's our son. Feel a little bit bitter that he is into Al Ghuls family now, but that's fine.

Bruce, frowning, because Harvey isn't supposed to know about Al Ghuls and their connection to Lazarus Pit or about Red Hood: Uh, had J-Jason said something else to you?

Harvey: Oh, damn, we spoke for the whole night. He was pissed at you, though. Like, for the Tim guy, whoever he is.

So mad at how long this took

Tim: I already don’t like where this is going.

Dick: Just hear me out. So we kidnap Bruce and send him on a vacation, and then-

Tim: Nope. Won’t work.

Dick: Of course it will.

Tim: How are you going to kidnap Bruce, Dick? Make up an emergency on a beautiful yet relatively inaccessible tropical island?

Dick: *opens mouth*

Tim: No, no, please don’t.

Dick: Fine. So AFTER we get him there, we-

Jason: Break into Arkham.

Dick: What? No! Why would we do that?

Jason, shrugging: I don’t know. Seemed to fit.

Dick: Look, Bruce just needs a vacation, okay?

Damian, entering the room: What are we covering up?

Dick: Nothing!

Damian: Don’t worry, I won’t judge.

Dick: *throws hands in the air*

Dick: *leaves*

Tim: You know, I think Dick could use a vacation.

@dementorsatemysoup

Dick getting to some random island fully prepared to engage in a fight to defend the planet

Dick deciding he can yell at his brothers tomorrow

Bruce accidentally seeing the same alert a bit later because Tim forgot to turn it off

Bruce showing up at the island too

Dick giving him an Alfred patented Look™️ until he sits his little bat butt down

Then they all suddenly sit up and point at each other and are like “wait, if you’re here, then who’s making sure the kids aren’t unleashing chaos in Gotham?”

Bruce, forcefully calming himself: It’ll be fine. Kate is still there. The kids won’t do anything too outrageous with her still in town.

Kate, walking up behind them with a smoothie: Who’s not doing anything outrageous?

Bruce, shooting to his feet: When’s the next ferry off this island.

Jason: So as the responsible adult in this situation…

A short time later:

Tim: Who knew Jason could be so boring?

Steph: Yeah, I thought he was going to be fun, ya know?

Damian: We have made a mistake.

Duke: Hey Jason, I thought you wanted to break into Arkham?

Jason, coming over: It’s only fun if it makes someone’s eye twitch.

Tim, grumbling: Being stuck here is making MY eye twitch.

Jason, with a slightly feral grin: And aren’t we having fun.

*bats chirping in the background*

cue all of them trying to get off the island. Except. EXCEPT. All of them are competent adults (tm) and they’re both really mad at each other for leaving the house unattended and also simultaneously want to prove that they’re the most competent adult to ever adult which leads to a balls to walls pissing contest which fucks everything up. Cue a series of crazy misadventures with increasing amounts of international incidents, tangling with assassins, alfred’s reunion with the russian spy who was the talia to his bruce, Jim having to jump out of a plane with no safety equipment, Barbara running over a witch disguised as a cockroach with her wheelchair and getting cursed and Kate and Bruce locked in a fierce argument about some stupid incident from their childhood that no one even remembers the WHOLE 36 HOURS.

so they get home. Their clothes are singed. Bruce is reasonably sure he’s lost a testicle along the way. They don’t care. The kids need them!!!! What shenanigans have the children gotten up to while they were gone!!!! They run home, up the driveway and burst in!!! Only to see… foam blocks?

But you know what Bruce also knows? He knows Jason.

So I choose to believe that once it's clear everyone is there which leaves Jason essentially the only potential Responsible Adult? He relaxes. Because he knows that when it actually matters, Jason will be responsible both out of a feeling of obligation and out of a desire to frustrate his younger siblings for fun.