Here I sit on my bed

Just like I did a year ago

Then I wanted to be dead

A year later, to just let go

The past descends on me

Like a mansion ceiling

Broken, haunted, dusty,

full of secrets too revealing

Today I want to get away

from the reality that bores me

Was it only yesterday

seemed reality ends before me

Vivid thoughts of knotted rope,

trickling life from out my throat,

laying empty in the road,

flashing thoughts, ghoulish croak.

“Help me!” I wrote my only friend,

the blackest ink from my own veins

A year it’s been, from that draft’s end

every breath accounted for as gains.

A night ago, I did relapse

Saw me, the tilled clay of my flesh

“Why?” I ponder, “if not the past’s

desire for pain new and fresh?”

My character has been evolved

No cravings for once to be undone

But the mystery remains unsolved.

A spider’s web can’t be unspun.

Why can’t I just get rid of these?

Don’t I other ways to cope?

My only hope to be set free

yet I’m addicted to this dope

Perhaps, I’ll find in another year,

I’ll be resistant to the gravity

Today, lift praise for being here

and pray, “Deliver from depravity”

From,

Someone halfway to the other side

what have i done

what have i done

what have i done

what have i done

again

nothing poetic about it

just worthless

miserable

pathetic

just me

of course i’d come back to it

what did anyone expect

i’m a piece of shit