H E C H A N

Y’all Don’t Like Effusive People In Real Life And It Shows.

I Feel So Small And I Actually Like It. Everywhere Around The Globe I Travel I Am Paid Attention To Somehow In Someway And When Im Honest Like This It’s Like No One Wants To Hear It. On Here There’s But A Few of You And The Platform Is Dead. Like The Only Person Walking Around Alone At Night. When I Used To Do That In LA My Mind Was SOOOO Happy. I Was Actively Fighting My Anxiety. Now That Doesn’t Fit My Schedule And I’m In A Foreign Country Where I Fear Getting Robbed and Being Black. I’ve Made Myself Small Too Many Times For Others Here Too. It’s Like You Take My Spirit And Put It On A Hamster Wheel. It’s Too Much. Those of You Who Knew Me, And Knew Who I Was On Here I’m So Grateful For. I Need Friends Who Tolerate And Run Wild With Me. I’ve Considered Medication a Few Times. Idk Whether Id Be Running From Or Towards The Problem With That One. I’m Overwhelmed or Underwhelmed And It All Makes Sense When The Stars Really Align Right. I Think We All Feel That Way. I Don’t Have Any Secrets, Just The Special Moments I’ve Shared With You. And If You’ve Left My Side Now I’m Sure You’ve Summed It Up To Some Personality Disorder That You’ve Disclosed To Those Closest To You. One Thing I’m Not Is A Mystery Nor A Man of Labels. Nothing Is Up For Assumptions, Not Even This Journal Entry I Share With You. And If I Were Frank Fucking Ocean I’d Probably Be Operating On Measures That Work Best For Me. If Someone Could Take It Away I’m Not Sure I’d Let It Happen. The Endless Unfoldment of Suffering Continues And We Rise And Fall At Each Others Feet, Praising High The One Who Placed Us Here. Sometimes I Cry At His Presence. Other Times I Look Back And Laugh At My Foolishness. Like What Are You Even Saying?? And Then I’m Like Well You Know What, Make The Mistakes And Correct Them As You Get Older. That’s Progress. I’m No Prodigy I’m A Man Beginning My Journey To The End. And For My Lovers, You May Take It Or Leave It! I’ve Never Even Been Enough For Myself So I Expect Nothing of You But To Feel The Same. You’ve Never Been Enough For Me Either! And We Seek For More Of Ourselves In Each Other Calling That Love? Is That Anywhere Near The Subject? I’m Not An Encyclopedia.