sometimes I can read your cards right.

It’s this constant fear, this voice in the back of my mind that won’t shut up: You’re going to mess this up. You always do.

I hate it.

Because this feels different. It feels real. And maybe that’s what makes it even scarier.

I’m trying to play it cool, to not come off like I care too much, but the truth is — I do. I care a lot. Probably more than I should this early. I overthink every little thing. A pause in a conversation, the way I worded a text, if I said something weird. And I spiral. I start convincing myself they’re pulling away. That I’ve ruined it already.

It’s like… when I’m with them, I feel calm. Like I can breathe. But when I’m alone, my brain just flips the switch and runs wild.

Am I being too open? Too emotional? Too honest?

Is this too much for them?

Am I too much