The Undisputed Best at Shaz

Oh you can tell they're getting flashbacks of when 101 Dalmatians was playing

the fucked up thing is that poob didn't even have it for me.

making an enthusiastic, sincere jack-off motion with my hand to indicate that i agree with the present course of action and think you have thought it out well

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

I've seen this post before but it only just occurred to me that there might be some sort of underlying reason that "places where bears are" and "places where people name stars after bears" overlap.

Reblogging for that last comment.

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

they billed me for three?? three balls???