Shashwat Desai

Nani 😇

Today, I miss you a little more than I did before. You already know why. But today I remember my life’s learning from you … Life is the biggest teaching, toughest exam and the deepest philosophy.

For my forever favourite. Thank you for teaching me how to live & love.

Decision making is an art one should learn from the very beginning. We often consider decision making as an important aspect of major events in our lives but it is the most crucial aspect in the smallest event of our everyday life. Decisions are often taken by choice or by submission. A decision taken out of choice can be tallied with consequences associated with it but a decision taken out of submission has only one result - guilt and despair. 

A lot many times in life, small decisions impact our lives more than the big decisions. Decision making is of utmost importance when life is passing through constant phase of change. It is during this phase that you need to undo a lot of your doings to accept life in the present and find hope for its better future. Our life is a cycle of the decisions we have made, good or bad. 

When you live in a constant stage of submission, validation from others is what you seek because of the despaired mind. Validation today can be in form of likes, shares and comments; online and not offline. It is in this moment of our lives, when we have to make a decision of choice by over coming all the confusion in our mind. Lessen the randomness in our mind to achieve a state of balance. Only a decision made out of choice will help you with a clear state of mind.

I am too juggling with decisions made in choice and in submission. The randomness of thoughts in this expression is a result of the course correction between the decisions made and decisions that have to be made. 

Your life is a journey of little things that you have chosen to act on during vibrant situations coming along everyday. Words are your initials action points & most of the times you utter them in the reaction of the moment. Only if you had taken a pause before reacting, thought about it with patience & perspective, the right words are it’s outcome. Situations are opportunities this universe offers you to choose from a decision of action or reaction.

Often you are mistaken that your reaction is the right action but from the experiences I have had in life, I have understood that when you integrate your everyday actions with reactions, the right equilibrium is attained. The outcome of any situation is always in your hand. It is only your choice that will determine the next situation of your life.

Randomness in life is your state of mind & not the situations you are entangled in.

Learning to let go your expectations & your surrounding expectations from you, is the art one needs to learn, practice and pursuit to attain peace of mind.

It is only when expectations are shared, they are truly understood else they are misunderstanding & assumptions through your perspective.

Sometimes, acceptance is a virtue not everyone develops. One only develops a divergence from acceptability. This acts as a barrier between your ability to lead & administer priorities in situations.

Life has it’s way of teaching you things that you need to learn over time. Only if you could understand the signs life gives you, you transit smoothly.

Life needs to be lived happily and with peace of mind. Relationships are usually carriers of lessons that life chooses as tools to fix you. Learning the art of letting go is my key towards hoping to live with a peaceful mind.

We all go through a phase when your head is not in the space where it has to be. Some occasions that come in your life are once in a lifetime & you ought to celebrate them. These are the occasions when everyone around you cares a little bit more than usual. This care is blissful only when your mind is at peace. When your head is not in the right place because of wars that you are fighting alone, everything that goes around you is not happening, everything feels incomplete. These life changing occasions are the ones where you have grown up with wishes & dreams about how you would want them to be. I have grown up seeing dreams about how my life would look at different stages of my life. I have them written & time defined it. 

Life has given me changes and opportunities simultaneously. Some stresses in life are ones that don't let you sleep in peace. It is during such times, when a phrase comes to mind - “Peace & Prosperity does not go hand in hand.” Tonight, I write this with a mind that knows that world chooses to see negative side of being. It is hard to lead a life with optimism and see light in dark. 

Hoping you all had a Happy Diwali and festivities full of happiness. 

For every man to face the world with his head held high, he needs his mind, heart & spine to be supported firmly in both good n bad times. 6 years down the line, I stand AVICHAL-it ('अविचलित') because of their unwavering trust in me and my ways of leading. With them as my mind - heart - spine, a life full of happiness, inner peace & a little insanity is a gift.

A perfect portrait does not exist.

5th December 1988, two people were happily announced one & promised to live n love together all their lives.

3 years later, on 15th February 1991 they had me. 29 years of life & I say to myself 'I am the luckiest kid to be gifted with parents who for me are above God.' Every morning when I see the love between the two growing stronger, I pray to have the exact same bond & love with my future partner. You have given me a life which I hope I can give to my kids. I feel immensely secure when I have both of you by my side.

The honour in answering the question, "Whose son are you?" is unmatched. I feel the respect & greatness to be known as son of Ashish Desai and Bina Desai.

We enter December, the last month of 2020. A time that’ll bring in eagerness, curiosity, speculations, resolutions and celebrations for many across the globe.This year, it also brings series of fights, prayers, losses and helplessness in the name of a global pandemic. 

Over the past two quarters, a majority of us have our minds locked between denial, anger and fear. These emotions often lead us to react in ways that puts us in a state of guilt in the longer run. 2020 has evidently made it clear, not take anything for granted. Sooner the better, we accept that the world will restart with a new world order. We have questions & we want answers, the right ones. But, the truth is, there is no right answer. It’s just life & we have a choice to live it exactly the way we wish to. 

The things I recollect while we are sailing towards 2021, Monday’s did not bring the monday blues feel but work from home felt more effective , weekends did not feel like fri-yay but I learned to live everyday as a weekend, gatherings were not chillin’ scenes but helped me to have more meaningful bonds, hugs were not casual but the concern & love felt genuine, traveling wasn’t leisure but helped loved ones to reunite.

December 2020′ - A month to introspect, to learn & to understand the importance of seeing good in the bad, positives amidst the negatives and most importantly, accepting that change is the only constant thing. Use this month to recollect the good memories, good deeds you’ve done for the ones around you and make it a happy 2020 ending.

As on 29th November, 2020 the world has 6,29,63,231 Corona cases out of which India contributes 94,30,724 cases. Today, it is only important to survive this global pandemic and come out with good health, physically and mentally. 

2020 has been a year that will be remembered for generations to come. Between all the wrongs and negatives, this year has taught me to rest well in the race of being productive all the time. It has brought me to an understanding that no matter what the situation & truth is, people will choose to see what they wish to see. Our truth today is a state of mind which is perplexed, confused and in a constant fight with the unknown. Amidst all this, we have to learn to stay optimistic, self motivated and content. I pray to find the strength everyday to spread positivity, happiness and peace to everyone I can because if not, this year will push our loved ones & community in Great Depression. 

We have to affirm ourselves daily with the choices where we choose to be happy, choose to see the good, choose to lead with a positive attitude, choose to support the community and help bring up our nation. My father always says, Choice is always Yours. Let's choose, to not let the fear get the good in you.  

The world has around 1.26 million people infected by Covid 19 & India has about 4300 people infected by Covid 19 as on 5th April 2020. Different parts of the world are facing lockdowns depending on the severity of the impact of this deadly Covid 19. The lockdown varies from 21 days to 6 months.

During the first 21 days quarantine, I believe people of India will realise the importance of holding themselves to their roots, culture and most importantly families. This is the time when one is completely disconnected with the outside world physically and the only source of information is through social media and news. It's of utmost importance to understand and realise what you are feeding yourself with in such times. This time is more specifically important for today's youth to accept that life can be much more beautiful when you spend time with yourself. This is that time of your life which might never come again when you are free from the peer pressure and the pressure from your professional lives. Certain habits and lifestyles have been adapted only because of these two aspects of your life. The best way to improve is by trying to choose the harder path and training your mind to help yourself neglect or avoid those habits. Quarantine helps you to have the best of 24 hours everyone gets. Learning new aspects of life is the best way to improve your everyday routine for a longer run. Little things like learning how to cook, set up the dining table, being a helping hand in the daily chores of home, keeping your room and home clean keeps you physically active and mentally active. Certain habits like meditation, home workout, reading books, writing journals will lead you towards a much happier and a satisfied life.

I am writing this because I believe that it's easier to change yourself to see the change around you. I have been practicing every habit that I have mentioned here during this quarantine and I have also promised myself to continue it post quarantine too. It has helped me to take a step back in my life and learn the better aspects of leading a happy life. I can only assure you while writing this, if you honestly give a try you will find it difficult at first, but over the time you will cherish the fruits of this change.

Use this time to know yourself better, getting back to your roots and culture and being the person you wish to be. There's no stopping unless you choose to stop yourself. At the end, I will only mention the words that my father has been living everyday of his life - CHOICE IS YOURS.

It has been 8 days now since India is under lockdown. This means a population of 1.3 billion people have been asked to stay indoors for their and nation's safety.

Everything is at a stop, industries are halted, roads are lonely, offices are empty but the nature is smiling, trees are blossoming, the air is purer, birds are chirping and most importantly - mother's, sister's and elders are blessing our Prime Minister Sh. Narendra Modi for giving them the most needed time with their husband, son and brother.

The lockdown is announced for 21 days and I chose to add certain good habits to my daily routine. Before talking about that, I found this amazing new friend since a week now & she's been inspiring ever since. It's beautiful to know and hard to believe that she can be a socially connected person but a very private soul, all in one time. She inspires by being disciplined about her work & passion everyday even when it's easy to just excuse it. Now, that inspiration plus a bit of my personal motivation led towards finally attaining a start to my routine of exercise and meditation over a week now. Eating healthy is also on its way.

Why I am introducing her today? I chose walking as a part of my exercise routine today. While walking in an empty compound I realised that the sun still rises and sets everyday even when 167 countries are locked down but it continues working responsibly everyday. Just the way, she's been working responsibly everyday. She deserves the introduction in my journal.

This quarantine has only taught me that life is beautiful even when you don't own a big car, branded clothes, no power bragging at work place, no competition with the peers & industry players. Life can still be lived happily with having the right discipline of time and good people around you. I only miss meeting my best friends like we use to meet everyday but I am really happy that we as a family can spend the best time of our lives.

The past decade has seen a change in almost every possible thing present in the world. But the biggest trend shift which I observed is, "How I Look?". I have been talking a lot with my social group and the question which I get countered the most is about looks and every thing related to it. There was a time when a complete personality was important. Today, if you have the right fat, cuts and muscle you have 80% secured your place in other's heart. Rarely, I find people not following these stupid trends. Looks are important but not that important which leads you to forget who you really are as a person. This trend shift is only because the younger generation tends to shift there minds towards actors to a great extent. A teenage guy or girl today looks up to John Abraham or Priyanka Chopra for looks not realizing that these people have the resources, finance and the need to look good. 

I have no objections on idolizing actors as your role models but please go deep when you are setting a role model for yourself; coz' if you really are going to follow them, you need to know them with real depth and not reel depth. Idolizing an actor as a person is way different than idolizing a character portrayed by the actor of your choice. The younger generation needs to understand that most of the actors and actresses have altered their looks either by taking supplements or getting under the knife which is not healthy or required in our daily life. 

I want to look good. I too want to have the OMG Hot body but I am not going to forget myself to achieve that. For me, a personality as a whole is more important. I believe it is the persona of the person that gets you fit with your social network. Giving importance on grooming ourselves is more important than just grooming your looks. Looks is a characteristic which compliments your personality; it is not the characteristic which makes your personality. This is the point which needs to get in the head of teens. 

When you spend thousands in a gym, I don't object. I just don't understand the mentality you hit the gym with. Sweating it out rigorously just to look good will harm your body physically and scientifically eventually. A normal human body requires a minimum of 8 hours of sleep and it requires 45 minutes of physical exercise. This tendency of sweating it out just for the abs will lead you to stop sweating it out over a period of time coz' your body says no, which will further lead to ugliness. But if you sweat it out to stay fit, the body will show results effectively and at a faster rate coz' you are giving your body what it needs. You need to stretch a little but not to an extent of its tearing out.

Everyone of us goes through a phase in life which leads you a step closer to the aspiration in your heart. A phase that is unexplained coz' it's a state of trance. A perpetual state where the heart wants it but the mind rejects it out right. This phase is tricky,  logical & analytical. The tranced phased leads to the clash of heart and mind at every moment. I have been there & came out decently, I guess.

Let me try and share a few of my insights that concluded after a long ontological introspection over a couple of weeks. Though, I feel it can be really tough pursuing it in today’s practically intolerant societal mind-frame, but never-mind.

When you aspire something truly and go for it all from your heart, to only find out you are not getting closer to it, your mind starts shooting negative emotions that lead to serious lows in your behaviour. You tend to stay positive until you find out that it's not happening. Your hope dies leaving behind a single ray which gives your heart a second chance. You will have to happily accept this second chance and focus on the journey of your aspiration rather than the outcome now.  

The only way now to get a step closer to your aspiration, is by decluttering your perplexed state of mind by changing the smallest of your habits, that you feel creates a hurdle in your pathway. When you practice doing this everyday positively and feel a change even by 1%, these atomic changes will garner sheer confidence that will in a longer run lead to your desired outcome. 

The power of 1% positive improvement on daily basis will compound to 100% positive results. 

There I stood by the pool’s edge watching you swim away. With every ripple formed, the distance between us grew. The gush of water, drowning out your last words. And that, I found ideal.